Well dear readers, it's a summer Monday in Miami. The world is still here. Putin is still running Russia and Judge Sayfie is still running the Eleventh Circuit of Miami-Dade. Not that those two belong in the same sentence other than those are the two topics we are blogging about. But while we are on the subject, if they ever faced off, our money is on Judge S. She would clean his clock.
There's quite the contretemps about what attorneys can and cannot bring into the jail. Here is an updated memo- but let us add in our thoughts about these matters below the memo:
Some thoughts:
Smart watches are peligroso! (dangerous). They have been watching War Games too much. They think we are going to take an Apple smart watch and disable the jail. We can't even get our damn watch to show us the weather anywhere other than Little Rock Arkansas.
You can bring in computers! Hang on while we try and stop laughing. Corrections won't even let us see our clients! And the powers that be somehow think the officers at the desk will allow a laptop in????? Come on now.
Rumpole: We are here to see our client.
CO: You with the Public Defenders office?
Rumpole: No, the PDs put in a notice of appearance but then we substituted in.
CO: But if you are not with the PDs office, you cannot see the client. In fact only a Mr. Carlos Martinez is listed as the lawyer.
Rumpole: Do you see our notice of appearance?
CO: Yes, but unless you are a PD you cannot see the client. And what is that you got with you?
Rumpole. A laptop.
CO: What you think you're gonna do with that? You sure are not bringing that computer into this jail. (Turns to a friend) "Hey Sally, you're not going to believe this. There is some lawyer here who thinks he can bring a laptop into the jail!!" (loud and prolonged laughter ensues).
Rumpole: It's not like it's a gun or a hacksaw.
CO: Oh, you can bring those in as long as you're with the PDs office.
And so it goes.
Send your adventures in trying to get a laptop into the jail to our email. First person who successfully gets in with a laptop without a letter from Governor DeSantis and an order from the Florida Supreme Court wins a prize.
10 comments:
Annnnnnnd welcome to start your day the right way and I'm Hanzy
Coco: Yo Hanzy, I'm Coco, Word up y'all
Hanzy: And Cooc is in a urban mood I see. What are your thoughts about Russia?
Cooc: Judge Jack Coe always said when you strike at the prince, kill him. The dude tusslin with Putin was not going to win, so he took a billion or two and hightailed it out. Let's see if Ukraine can make some hay with this. The Uke fighters I talked to had mad respect for the wangner group mercenaries. Said they were well trained.
Hanzy: Mad respect you say? Moving on you have some big news.
Cooc: I do. Service animals are a big part of my life for real. And I am proud to announce Josephine Farina the African Gray service parrot will be working with me. We call her Joe for short. And Joe and I will be spending the summer touring the girls' dormitories of UCLA and USC working with freshmen and sophomore college and sorority girls who as you know, face a lot of stress for being young and hot. Joe the Parrot has a unique ability to help break though the walls these young women put up when help is available, and I will be there with Joe, every step of the way. If we can even save one 20-year-old college girl from going down the rabbit hole of obsessively posting about their life on Instagram then the summer will be a success. Sure it requires a lot of work telling a young blonde woman wearing a bikini top that the whole world doesn't really care if she has ice coffee while in an uber to get her nails done, but I am telling you the rewards of working with a rescue parrot far outweigh the costs and inconveniences.
Hanzy: I'm sensing a presidential medal of freedom in your future Cooc. And now it's time for our first break, and if like Coco and I you like your coffee hot and strong, then did you know Starbucks has teamed up with both Uber Eats and Doordash for delivery of your favorite drinks? Listen up as our sponsor explains the delicious beverages and treats that are one App-tap away. We are back in 60 seconds.
Joe the rescue parrot!!!! I'm crying. What genius thinks up these treats?
Sayfie takes Putin no problemo. She da man...well ummm...she da woman. Doesn't sound as cool, but you get my drift
He actually does have a rescue parrot so it's not that crazy but it's funny the stupid parrot squawks and tries to bite the old people who want to pet it at the Alan Postman retirement home in Boca Del Vista
The only way you're getting in with a laptop is juicing the desk girls like I do at Joes and prime112
ROFLLMAO Joe the rescue parrot too f'ing funny
The market cares less about Russia. Snap chat is a great stock it’s goi g to 60. But and hold Airbnb too.
Give them some credit, Rumpy. I saw a client last week and it was no problem to bring in my laptop (although I did bring a refrigerated bag in my car in case it was rejected and I needed to leave it in an otherwise stifling hot car during my visit). “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” So shall the Department of Corrections. And thank you DOC Legal Counsel Patricia Jones Cummings and FACDL-Miami for making this happen.
Rumph, I recently passed a Bill that allows state elected officials to visit county jails unannounced - what are some of the issues that I should be looking into?
1 how are they treating inmates with mental health?
2- how are they handling the ever burgeoning blackmail issues where inmates prey in other inmates by getting their families personal information and then threatening them if they aren’t paid - usually payment to a Venmo account
3 in conjunction with that - how are they handling the out of control cell phone issues ?
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