Sunday, April 30, 2006


The Captain reports:

The clock is ticking and there are now less than two weeks to go until the end of qualifying. The burning question seems to be not whether Cristina Miranda, ASA, will be filing, but against whom, she will be filing?

There has been wide speculation that she will file in Group 24 against first term Judge Mindy Glazer. In anticipation of that challenge, Her Honor recently put her money where her gavel is, and poked down $140,000 of her own mulah on March 31, 2006. Many remember Glazer filing at the 11th hour and startling lontime sitting Judge Martin Kahn. In that election, Glazer raised only $7,693 and ponied in an additional $37,500 of her own money, but it was enough to unseat Kahn.

In 2006, Glazer has raised $64,773 from 332 contributors and added $150,000 of her own cash for a campaign warchest of nearly $215K.

If Miranda chooses not to file against Glazer, she has several other possible opponents, among them:David Miller, Cindy Lederman, Lester Langer, David Young, Gisela Cardonne Ely, Pedro Echarte, Maria Korvick, Ellen Venzer, Arthur Rothenberg, Maxine Cohen Lando, Mark King Leban, Maria Espinosa Dennis, Cristina Pereyra-Shuminer, Maynard "Skip" Gross, Ellen Leesfield, Israel Reyes, Joel Brown, Victoria Platzer, and Stan Blake.

so Ms. Miranda ... what say you ....and the Captain has spoken .......

Law.com reports:

When a temporary San Francisco prosecutor wrote on his personal blog about a misdemeanor case he was handling last December, he probably didn't think the judge would read it.
But Superior Court Judge Curtis Karnow heard about it. And he didn't like what he read.
Karnow didn't find the postings prejudicial enough to throw out the entire case, as the defense wanted. But in turning down that motion to dismiss this week, the judge still came down hard on ex-prosecutor Jay Kuo, calling his conduct "juvenile, obnoxious and unprofessional." Karnow also stated his intention to send his written ruling to the State Bar.

Rumpole says: “Juvenile, obnoxious and unprofessional.”??? How dare that prosecutor copy our blog!!!! “Get your own schtick” we say. We have made every legitimate effort to corner the legal market on those qualities.

The Blog devolved over the weekend into a Godfather sequel.

We are working with the posts to make something for the main page.
See You In Court.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Schrodingers Cat

Sexy, sultry, seductive Portia has awoken from her long slumber to write in:

Dear Rumpole, continue upholding the golden thread that runs throughthe law and exposing what Rumpole (my hero) describes as "judgeitis",a mysterious virus causing a fatal degree of intolerance, pomposity,interruption of cross examination, and extreme verbal abuse towardscounsel

The one who poses questions, the one who knows the answers, the enemy of batman, and a poster on our blog, the one and only Riddler, asks these relevant questions:

Wow. Rumpole, you touched a nerve with this indictment. I have never seen the blog this active. It appears this forum is getting bigger and bigger. But there are still some questions that need to be addressed:

1. Is it true that Special Agent David Miller shot a rapper in the ass outside of a 7-11 with his ankle piece? [Rumpole responds: No that was a Sopranos plot line that you have stolen]

2. If so, is the case being heard in Judge Thomas's courtroom?
[We have been reading the comments on Judge T and believe there are two sides to the story. Many lawyers are writing in that he is doing a good job. So in reference to the indictment, he is presumed innocent until proven guilty. Much like the Muldowny hearings, all the county court judges will convene at the FACDL Dinner and hear the case next week.]

3. Is Warren Scwartz representing Miller?
If yes, than what will happen when Uncle Warren asks for a continuance at the first sounding in that bowtie and Steve McQueen sunglasses he wears?
[Warren has style…that’s Style with a capital S. Plus he can try a case.]

4. Will Thomas raise Miller's bond, put him in the box and require a bondsman to come in to say he/she will take him out on the original bond?
[ We think Judge Miller is not a risk of flight. Danger to the community? Probably. But not a risk of flight. The bond will not be raised.]

5. Will KFR select H. Walker to handle the case?
[No. ASA Grieco will make a star appearance as a Guest Prosecutor. The trial will be shown on MTV’s new show: Rockin the REGJB.]

6. Is H. Walker really "Cab" Calloway? Orange whip anyone?
[No and No]

7. Will Special Agent Prosecutor Captain Avenger Miller still be able to teach the weapons course at the advocate program?
[Yes. Guns don’t kill people. Judges who hand out the death penalty for any ol reason kill people.]

8. Is Greico really going to be Judge Miller's intern/law clerk/weapons consultant/SWAT guy this summer?
[No. See above.]

9. If the case goes to trial, will Thomas work to 1:00 a.m. even if Warren Schwartz leaves at 4:30? Will H. Walker's kerchief in his front jacket pocket wilt after 5:00 p.m.?

[Some questions cannot be answered without resort to theoretical physics. According to the superposition theory of quantum mechanics, as stated by the famous illustration of Schrodinger's cat, it is theoretically possible for Warren Schwartz to be in court and out of court at the exact same moment. For the same reason, if you take Mr. Walker’s kerchief and place it in a sealed vault, and place a very small amount of a radioactive substance, when that substance decays the kerchief will wilt. Because the vault is sealed, we cannot know if or when this has occurred, thus the kerchief under the theory of superposition is and is not wilted. ]

Please Rumpole. Please give me some guidance here. The public demands answers and you can deliver them. [Done. No Charge. Pro Bono Publico.].


I've been trying to interview your so-called "Public" Defender for quite some time with negative results. So I thought maybe the BLOG could help. Here are my top ten questions for Bennett Brummer -

1) Is Howard Lubel now the TerriChavez of the PD's Office? And ifso does he still make 120k to basically do social work or didyou finally cut his salary.

2) Is Pat Nally now in division?And if so does he still make 120k to handle the same "A" caseload that is normally handled for less then 50k.

3) When are you going to retire and let someone else be PD? Or areyou going to be PD for life?

4) What is your latest accomplishment with the Florida legislature? Since that was your main campaign theme in the last election, I was curious whether you have actually had any recent success.

5) Is it true that you do not want young PD's to stay for longer than3 to 5 years? And if so is that so you all at the top do not have to worry about anyone threatening your100k per year government job?

6) Are you grooming anyone in particular to be the next PD?(Carlos Martinez, Lourdes Simon, etc.)

7) Who do you see running the PD'soffice in ten years?

8) How many bagels does Rory eat a week? What about danishes?

9) Do you not understand how morale at the office is hurt by the non-working old timers (Kramer, Warren, Marie O, Rory, Williams, etc.) getting a free pass while still making over 100k?

10) Why are trials at the officedown the past three years in succession? Is it because you either fired or forced out most ofthe young gun trial dogs?

Please Mr. Brummer answer the questions. Even though the sign outside your office says "Law Offices of Bennett H. Brummer",remember it really is The "Law Offices of the Public Defender".

And this member of the public wants some answers.

Justice Reporter

Gotta love question 8. See You In Court. Going to get an appointment before Judge Thomas and see for ourselves what the fuss is about.

Thursday, April 27, 2006


Hmm… Lets see if we can change the subject. BENNETT BRUMMER BENNETT BRUMMER BENNETT BRUMMER. That felt good.. Gotta do that once every few weeks or so.

Hmm.. DBR Reporter Julie Kay emailed us that the SAO North of The Border is subpoenaing her about an interview she did with a suspect. As goes the Bush administration, so goes Broward. Don’t worry Julie- we have a bar card and can visit you in jail. Hang in there.

Here are a few tips for any Broward Court appearance:
1) Be careful where you park these days. The fees run high, and if you get taken into custody, at 8 bucks an hour wow, it could get expensive quick.
2) Those people standing in line wearing blue jeans, t-shirts, and cowboys boots are lawyers, maybe even your lawyer.
3) Hire a Broward lawyer (you can tell them by the way they dress, see above) or your case will not get called until the end of calendar and not until the entire courtroom staff has finished the Sun Sentinel’s crossword puzzle and suduko.
Good Luck. We’re rooting for you.

Arzola settling in: Seen at the AA:

A reader writes:

Did someone spike Arzola's coffee this morning? Why was he so nice? His courtroom was still backlogged somewhat but if he keps on going like this I may have something nice to say about him.

Rumpole says, no. We stopped in the other day to see what the fuss was about and we saw a judge being nice, taking attorneys out of turn, joking with un-represented defendants to make them feel at ease. Lets give credit where it is due. It takes time to settle in to the routine of our little building. What we would like to hear are some reports of attorneys who have been in trial before AA.

Speaking of Judges having a rough time, the comments section has had several threads about Judge Thomas. This reader writes:

bottom line. Cathy Parks should've beat Thomas, but she didn't bc he changed his name to TOMAS during the run-off. a nurse-atty w/ 20 yrs experience. bitch of a business. i hope she runs again, bc she deserves to be on the bench a lot more than thomas.he played the race card big time during the thomas-parks race. also, he recently got censured and fined by the division of elections for his nasty and dishonest campaign tactics. nobody seems to have heard anything about that. i wish the herald would be more interested in writing about bad judges

Rumpole wants to know: Is there any scintilla of truth to the fact that Judge Thomas used the name TOMAS in his campaign??? That would be grist for this mill.

Here was a good comment that was noteworthy for poking fun at a judge and a prosecutor (Van Zamft) at the same time:

Judge Thomas would like to plea guilty and throw himself on the mercy of Rump but the judge is being prosecuted by MVZ who is offering Pre-Trial Intervention because they are non-violent offenses and he has no prior criminal record

And in the same vein:

If Judge Thomas is able to get victim approval for PTI, one of the special conditions should be to attend the weapons course taught by David Miller.Side note: Does Judge Thomas wear his robe around town? Somebody said they saw him in Coconut Grove in his robe yelling at a homeless guy for not providing the court with a valid address? Can anyone confirm this?

Imitation being the highest form of flattery, a reader filed her/his own charges:




COUNT 1- Practicing law without knowledge of said law.
COUNT 2- Working with no breaks until mid-afternoon.
COUNT 3- Punishing defendants at sentencing because they don't show remorse, and making reference on it on the record for all to see (duh).For all those counts, P.C.A. should be sentenced to traffic court for the remainder of his term, whereupon he can be swiftly sent back to Legal Aid where he can reign as KING.

SINCERELY, a fellow frequent traveler at the RGJB

Rumpole notes, that shouldn't there be an "AKA" of "Camacho"?

The blog is popular in Washington DC these days: A skins fan opines:

The Florida legal community... what a joke!

Rumpole wants you to know that if you come to Florida and say that in front of Phil Reizenstein’s house….well…he’ll call you on the phone and curse you out but good. That’s for sure.

Finally, everyone should go to the Kiwanis Dinner this Saturday that Rick Freedman wrote in about. Rubber chicken, but for a great cause.

See You In Court.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006


It’s a first for us, but we took down our own post. Here’s why.

We saw a story about a model denied entry into the US, and wrote a little humorous (we thought) post about a fictitious super hero named ASADJ. Of course we were referring to ASA Grieco. It was written in the spirit of humor. What we did not know was that for personal reasons Mr. Grieco decided to resign today.

We do not know why Mr. Grieco resigned. We know he was not fired.
It surely must have been a tough decision and these are tough times for him.

If you have read our posts, then you must realize that what we are not about is kicking people when they are down. Making fun of a Judge with an oversized ego (and caseload to match) no problem.
But making fun of people who are experiencing tough times is not what we like to do.

Mr. Grieco has been widely discussed on this blog. While working as an ASA and keeping up the persona of DJEsq., he was fair game for being ribbed. And any misguided statement he may have but on his MYSPACE page was also fair game for commentary. And people are free to still comment on the incident, and on his resignation.

But we are not comfortable with our little humorous post at a time like this. So, it’s down, and for those of you who didn’t see it, you are not missing much.


A Muldowny mole just whispered in our ear:

Important Unofficial Muldowny Deadlines:

3/27 Date new Intoxilizer 8000 machines came on line. (This may be the excuse the judges will have for granting this very meritorious motion... they can say.. hey... so, what... the new machine fixes all of this....

4/19 Oral Arguments

4/28 Date Defense Attorneys said at arguments they would be ready for a ruling... who is dragging feet here???

5/11 Deadline for judges to find out who, if anyone, is running against them

5/12 Date that judges feel free to make decisions

5/19 Date all final memos are due

6/1 Date judges will rule... at the earliest

Rick Freedman writes in:


Because our event is attracting so much attention in and around the REGJB, I hope you don't mind if I post my Press Release on your blog:PRESS RELEASEOn Saturday, April 29, 2006 at 6:00 PM, the Kiwanis Club of Biscayne Bay will be holding their 28th Annual Kiwanis Auction Dinner. The event is being held at the Renaissance Ballrooms, located at 5910 SW 8th Street, Miami, Florida.The event is expected to attract over 400 guests to a spectacular evening including a silent auction, "The Rush Limbaugh Dinner" and a live auction to conclude the evening. Club President Rick Freedman was able to secure Rush Limbaugh to underwrite the dinner with a donation of $40,000. Mr. Limbaugh, currently facing prosecution in West Palm Beach for various crimes relating to his abuse of pain medicine denies any connection to his sudden charitable interests and his case. Furthermore, Mr. Limbaugh, who has no tolerance for illegal aliens, poor people, or people of color, and never met a law or get tough on crime republican politician he didn’t like is suddenly and adamantly against the drug laws of this country. Funny how life works out isn’t it? Karma baby. And if Limbaugh is convicted and sent to prison, then we can soon expect the “Rush Limbaugh Prisoner Rights” dinner next year.

Rumpole notes that you can read Mr. Freedman’s full and original post without the Rush Limbaugh bashing in the comments section. Say what you want about porky, but the Dinner benefits a great charity and everyone should go, make fun of Limbaugh, and spend lots of money.

See You In Court. Jeeze we feel like such a jerk for making fun of Grieco right when he was resigning, but then the Limbaugh thing came in and now we feel better. That jackass has kicked so many people when they were down that not enough bad things can happen to him in our humble opinion. The greeks had a word for it. They called it Hubris and we all know what happened in those Greek tragedies.

Monday, April 24, 2006


A reader has heard a rumor: That's what we're here for:

Can some one please tell me about the incident where Judge Miller reported Judge Young for dressing like a penguin for Court? I heard the rumor and want to see if anyone else can verify it

Judge Young at a judicial conference?

A Reader has a riddle:

Rumpole, Capitan and others, here is a riddle:What does Alberto “Al” Milian, Robert Petrieta, $25,000 and a Judicial Election have in common? Answer: Candidate Migna Sanchez-Llorens.To Elaborate: Of course, allegedly, Migna pays Robert a whopping $25,000 for him to run her campaign, he pays Al who is so loved by the community part of that $25,000 to actually do the campaign as he does not want to appear in the books or openly to be campaigning. (Might have to do with how much he is loved by everyone.) Al was never going to run; he wanted to create the illusion as well as commotion for him to feel popular again while he got Migna a seat or two. (He is obviously earning more than he ears as a lawyer with Robert.)Conclusion: I am proud to say that neither I nor anyone I know who is sane will vote for anyone who Alberto “Al” Milian is representing, associated with or friends with. Nothing personal, but I think that any friend (including Mr. Petrieta who I never seen, but must be as crazy as Al) of Al is not worthy of my vote or the votes of a sane community. (Captain can you please get us the cases from Broward and show the Blog Community. I don't have Lexis... :-( to put it here. Sorry Migna. I am voting for Shelly. GOT THAT, JUST SAY NO TO DOPES! NO AL, NO ROBERT, NO PROBLEM.This is a community service announcement against while and crazy guys… The information on this message is for entertainment purposes only as well as being only an opinion with alleged facts.

Rumpole notes that whatever Left Hook Al is up to is always entertaining and unusual.

A reader has an opinion on Left Hook Al:

Al Milian is the biggest jerk to walk into a courtroom with a brief case.He is rude, agressive and obnoxious.He beats people up, intimidates people and is hated by many.Now... let me tell you how I really feel about big Al...

Rumpole debuts a new feature: “Dear Rumpole”

Dear Rumpole:

I am so confused lately. When the Governor appointed to me to County Court everyone said it would be easy: "Just do whatever the State wants" they said. But lately, I have found that relying on prosecutors who are attorneys less than 6 months isn’t working. What should I do?
Confused in County Court.

Dear Confused.

It is indeed harder to be a judge than it seemed in those heady carefree days after you got your phone call and before you had to explain to a defendant for the seven hundredth time in a week the difference between a withhold and PTI.

Here are a few tips: It’s OK to ignore the advice the 23 year old prosecutor is giving you. Just because they are a prosecutor, does not mean they have the wisdom and temperament that comes with age and experience. Not every a-form explains enough to merit you denying a motion to take depos, not every possession of marijuana requires the defendant to be adjudicated, and not every DUI case is the end of the world. Just ask your political hero, Pres. Geo Bush. Yes, he had a DUI way back when (and his boss, Dick Cheeney had a few!!!) and look where they ended up. OK. Maybe being responsible for the deaths of +2000 Americans and +100,000 Iraqi’s is a bad example. The point is, every now and then try granting a motion or two. It’s fun! Hang in there.

Dear Rumpole:

Why do you hate us so much?

Not So Bad.

Dear “not so bad” Judge North of the Border.

We don’t hate you. We pity you. However, it’s not fun waiting until 12:00 noon to be called last on an 8:30 sounding calendar.

Dear Rumpole:

I think the Kommissar of Kounty Kort thinks I am the one posting bad things about her. Help!
Young ASA.

Dear Young ASA:

Take our advice and when called into the Komissar’s Office, waive reading, stand mute, demand discovery and trial by jury. We will represent you. Just remember that without a confession they got nuttin. What can they do to you? Send you to Hialeah branch court? It’s not so bad.

Dear Rumpole:

Sometimes I get bored sending people to prison all day long. Any advice?
Bored In Circuit Court.

Dear Judge Dresnick:

Remember those days when you were on our side. Remember how much it hurt to have a client sent to prison? The dark side of the force is strong. But try and resist it. A little probation now and then wouldn’t hurt anyone.

See You In Court. (We may have bloggers block. We are around…nothing is jumping off the keyboard. We just sit in our office, the phones are quiet, no new clients, and nothing funny to say.)

Friday, April 21, 2006


County Court Judge Silver was appointed to a Circuit Court Seat yesterday by our Governor Jeb “ Mom, when do I get to play President? “ Bush.

And the Captain is quick with an election analysis:

In GROUP 30 - COUNTY COURT ...Judge Roger Silver is the incumbent and his term runs until January 1, 2007.
Stephen Millan was the first to file in that division. He hoped to cause Judge Silver to retire. Then Robert Twombley filed. Judge Silver never filed for re-election.
Judge Silver did put his name in for the Circuit Court seat that he was just appointed to.This presents an interesting issue. Can Governor Bush ask the JNC to give him six names to replace the now open County Court Judge Silver seat? If so, and he appoints a new Judge, the law says that that Judge would not have to stand for re-election in this cycle and would not have to run until 2008.
All this would result in Millan and Twombley having to file in another division or simply wait until 2008. In the words of Colonel Klink ..... "verrrry interestingggg"

Rumpole notes: Silver didn't file for re-election for county court, and snags a Circuit Court slot??? Very interesting indeed.

On the Ray Sarmiento matter, from a personal standpoint, we are glad no charges were filed against Mr. Sarmiento. From a professional standpoint, outside of extraordinary circumstances, there is no practical way Mr. Sarmiento could return to his job as a prosecutor. We wish him well.

Anonymous wants to know:

ROGER SILVER??????!!!?!?!?!?Who else was sent to the Guv, Rumpy?

Sneezy, Grumpy, Humpty Dumpty,…no seriously….Lindsay, Arzola, OK. We will stop being funny. We have no idea who was sent to the governor. Why would we care?

For all of the problems about judicial campaigns, seeing the effects and performance of the Governor’s last few appointments, maybe elections are not so bad. For instance, to be elected, you need to fill out some forms, sign your name, and make a blasted decision about what race to run in. Thus the qualities of being decisive and being able to fill out a form are qualities we have not yet seen in some of the recent appointments. Without (yet) naming names, there is a “deer in the headlights” quality to some of these new Judges.

Case in point before a new Judge appointed by the Governor.

Judge: The State made you a plea offer of a $500.00 fine.
Defendant: I can’t pay a fine.
Judge: Do you want a trial?

Defendant: NO.

Thus confronted by a defendant who did not want a trial, and could not pay a fine, the Judge’s arraignment calendar ground to a halt, as this Judge, much like a mouse in a maze, could not for the life of her, figure out what to do next. It would have been funny, if not for the fact that this was the person the Governor thought to be the best and brightest candidate for the bench.

Just another day at our fair Justice Building.

Speaking of "best and brightest"...


We took the time to re-print the letter seeking nominations to the Third DCA:


QUALIFICATIONS: MEMBER OF THE BAR. REPUBLICAN OR TO THE RIGHT OF REPUBLICAN. Cannot have practiced criminal defense law. Cannot have ever said anything nice about a criminal defense attorney or a defendant.

The ideal applicant will be a Judge who has never granted a motion to suppress, a JOA, or sentenced a Defendant to anything under the top of the guidelines. Having never granted a motion for a defense continuance is a plus.

Must work well with Judge Rothenberg and be willing to overlook, ignore, or explain away at least eight of the first ten amendments to the Constitution.

Legal research skills must be limited to the late 1700’s case law, as only those candidates that promise to apply only the original intent of the framers will be considered, especially in cases involving the internet, computers, telecommunications, or searches of automobiles.

Membership in organizations that espouse the belief that the United States Of America is a Christian Country, and that separation of church and state is an outmoded concept will receive a favorable and expedited review.

Democrats, people who read books other than the Bible, and defense attorneys need not apply.

Pay flexible based on experience.
Ask about our ‘per curiam affirmed” bonus program for criminal appeals!!!!

See You In Court avoiding the 3RD DCA.

Thursday, April 20, 2006


Readers scoop:

NEWS FLASH!All charges against former-ASA Ray Sarmiento have been dropped due to a "lack of evidence".

well, if it wasnt dropped it would have been suppressed. congrats ray!

now we get to see how the drama unfolds in the SAO.....stay tuned readers

vindication for Ramon! I hope they clear his name as aggressively as they besmirched it.


Aaaaaah. The wonders of Google. This forum came up in a search for Mike Grieco. Sorry to intrude, but this is too good. We Redskins fans are taking a great deal of pleasure in laughing at Mike Grieco. You really should view the saved version of his MySpace site. It's really funny, especially the ten year old foul mouthed rapper. (We know you are reading these blog entries Mike...)
You probably are the one trying to pick the fight on the New York Subway with Davidoff. Some call you "DJ Dirty Sanchez" after looking at your MySpace site preserved forever... Yes, it is part of Redskins history now.
Kudos. You do seem to know a lot of hot (and slightly skanky) women who adore you. I especially like the one on this blog who is clearly in LOVE with you and thinks you can sleep with everyone's wives and girlfriends. Women always do love the bad boyz, but I bet they're snickering now.
You'll get over this though.
Thanks for the laughs, delivering Sean Taylor back to us for next season, and mostly for the voyeurism we all enjoyed.
Good luck with your Automatic Slims business.


Anonymous writes a letter of introduction:

Dear Bloggers,

I don't think we've met in person, my name is Anonymous. Sometimes, I make a single innocent post and see what happens. Sometimes I post, then I immediately post responses to myself to make it seem like there are many like me. Sometimes, I even use my "real" name, then I anonymously support myself. I cast aspersions on judges, defense attorneys, and prosecutors indiscriminately and at will with no concern for the facts, their careers, or the emotional impact I may have. My possession of testicles is questionable and would be disbarred/sued if identifiable. Maybe I should be banned, it sounds like I am the problem. I need a hobby and I wish I didn't get beat up so much in high school.
I am voting MYSELF off the island.

A reader is a bit pessimistic:


Once again this site has turned into a place where people are mostly posting anonymous and often unfounded and downright cruel gripes at those they feel have wronged them (or of whom they are just jeolous of). Sorry, but I think you expected something better; you are, after all, Rumpole of the Old Bailey. You know, the guys who wear wigs and robes while they litigate in their fine Queen's English.Query: Is it time to pull the plug (or should we just start wearing wigs and robes)?
One Who Won't Be Named To Avoid Attack

Rumpole says: Cheer up ol’ chap. Things are not as bad as they seem. Yes, we are in favour of wigs worn in court, but that never caught on over on this side of the pond.

Things could be worse: You could be picking a jury right now North of the Border.
Have you been there lately? Yes, it's a bit hard to know when to go with the secret hearings and such. But have you seen the prices for parking?
Eight dollars an hour!!! That means if you go for an 8:30 sounding, and being from Miami, the court inadvertently calls your case last, and you get out at 12:30, you have paid $32.00 for the privilege of being North of the Border. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Back to your complaint: Yes, we abhor the cheap cursing you Yanks are so fond of. But this blog brings plenty of laughs, some good information, and most importantly, provides us a creative outlet when the gym or onanism aren’t enough. (look up onanism, and then see if we don’t have a sense of humor.!!!!)
For our robed readers, you can go here:http://www.m-w.com/

See You In Court, feeling satisfied after the gym, or whatever if you get our drift.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Before we get to the fun stuff, a reader gives a trial update for Tuesday April 18, 2006:

Today's results in the REGJB:
Two PD Nolle Prosse's during trial.
A PD not guilty in Shuminer.
A PD not guilty in Jimenez ROC court.
A private guilty to misdemeanor lessers in a career criminal case.
Bad day for KFR, Huh?

Rumpole says: A bad day, or a regular day at the office?

CASABLANCA--FORT LAUDERDALE, 2006. "You must remember this....a case is just a case...unless it's North Of The Border."

Today the Miami Herald reported that North of the Border Judge Carney admitted that there were secret cases in Broward and unsealed a civil case involving Dade ASA Michael Gilfarb's wife.

Long time readers of the blog know that in our wild early days, when we had no readers, we lambasted the Federal College of Cardinals for holding secret calendars even after the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals told them not to.

The District Judges Of The Southern District of Florida: Our Motto: “We do what we want, when we want….so long as the government is OK with it.”

Now, in an effort to follow their more prestigious counterparts, the Judges North Of The Border have also been outted holding secret calendars and cases. However, unlike the Federal College Of Cardinals, who when confronted by the secret court cases after the court of appeals told them to stop, said “so what?” the Judges North of the Border are taking a more comical approach which is well recognized by any defense attorney who has interviewed a client that does not want to tell the truth.

Lets us borrow from our favorite movie: Casablanca:

The Scene: “Dale’s Courthouse (similar to Rick’s Café, just a little smokier.)

Dale- the chief Judge and proprietor of Dale’s courthouse is bemoaning the fact that the Herald is writing stories on his secret cases:

Dale (sitting in an empty courtroom, the lights are dim, a cigarette sits in an ashtray curling smoke, and Dale is holding a drink. His eyes are bleary): “Of All the Courthouses, in all the world, those reporters from the Herald walk into mine."

(Dale's head slumps down and his fists pound the bench.)

[In the background a piano player quietly plays “as time goes by.”]

Dale (reminiscing to himself) “I remember when the Herald tore down those scum in Miami with their little scandal. I remember every detail. I wore Black Robes, the Reporters wore blue jeans. It was like when the Germans marched in to Paris. What a Day!

[In walks Carney, an employee of Dale’s, plus two Miami Herald reporters.]

Carney to Dale: “Boss, these guys think we have secret calendars and cases like the Feds have.”

Dale (loudly) “I am shocked, shocked to find out that there are secret calendars and cases in Dale’s Courthouse. And you can quote me on that. Its D..A..L..E.. R…O…S…S..”

(The two Herald Reporters scribble down the quote.

In walks a clerk and hands some papers to Dale and Carney.)

Clerk: "Here are the orders sealing those new cases you gentlemen wanted. Just sign above the line and put an X through the sunshine law.”

(The Clerk walks away and the two Herald reporters run after him).

Dale turns to Carney: “We can fix this. Blame in on someone else.

Quick. Round up the usual suspects!”

(A few hours later at Fort Lauderdale International Airport. It is dark and a fog has rolled in. A light rain falls. Dale (dressed in a raincoat with the collar turned up) and Carney stand on a tarp by a small propeller airplane. A copy of the Florida Constitution lays ripped up at their feet. Dale takes Carney by the arm and they walk towards the plane.)

Dale: “You know Tom, this could be the start of a long friendship.”

Fade out. Credits roll.

See You In Court. Just not North of The Border, where making fun of you know who gets you a 40 year Min Man.

Monday, April 17, 2006


Actually, we don’t ban anyone or any topic. However, we join in with the chorus of views that the Grieco/Davidoff chat is , to quote one of our favorite readers: “zzzzzzzzzz.”
Rumpole makes a plea: can’t some Judge, somewhere, issue some stupid ruling so we can switch to another topic? We are not going to publicize it, but it is true, because we have seen it with our own airport bleary eyes, that there is a Grieco blog. No comments or readers. But it exists. Also, our favorite federal Blogger David Markus weighed in with a few choice comments.


Captain of the Election ship hoists anchor and writes:

In Circuit Court Group 25,Judge Murphy is looking good and challenger Josie Velis is on life support:In the January 1 - March 31 reporting period,
Judge Murphy reports:$36,565 raised from 156 contributors.
Challenger Velis reports:$7,370 raised from 24 contributors.

In Circuit Court Group 42,Judge Lawrence Schwartz widens his lead over challenger Gina Mendez in the area of contributions:In the January 1 - March 31 reporting period,
Judge Schwartz reports:$33,425 raised from 151 contributors.
Challenger Mendez reports:$12,975 raised from 64 contributors.


In reply to a comment, Jason Grey, an original member of the “not afraid to sign my name club” writes:

I’m not dumb, I make way more money than you, and I can kick your ass. Enough of this shit I'm done. I shall blog no more forever.

Rumpole responds that its always sad to lose a reader and contributor. However, this blog can get rough. Mr. Grey can always write in anonymously. However, if any reader wants to use the “search this blog” feature at the top and search for “Grey” you will see that Mr. Grey quickly got the spirit of this blog. His comments were always thoughtful and on topic and produced excellent discussions of interesting issues. We are sorry to see him go, and hope he changes his mind.


While we were away, some comments about the Grieco/DJ/Redskins case involved Ed Carhart. Here is what 99% of you REGJB regulars who first walked into the Justice Building some time during the 1990’s do not know: Ed Carhart is one of the finest attorneys in the United States. He is a master at cross examination, and has handled some of the biggest cases in Miami. Do not let his chronic illness which has confined him to a wheel chair confuse you. Prosecutors underestimate him at their own peril. Those people whose ability to write posts are limited to strings of four letter words would do better to write less, and go in court and watch Mr. Carhart try that case. We understand Sean Taylor has several attorneys, but if those lawyers want to win, they should stay seated and let Mr. Carhart do his thing.


A reader writes:

two new judges that treat people fairly and with respect should be noted. Schlesinger & Butchko

A Reader likes lists:

Let's make a list:

Lawyers who refuse to speak to anyone in the courthouse and hence NOT nice:
Defense lawyers who are NOT NICE
Phil Reizenstein
Jose Elortiqui
Jonathan Schwartz
Alex Michaels
Jay White

Abe Laeser
Gail Levine
Josh Weintraub
Deisy "Komisar of Kounty Kourt" Rodriquez
Sally Weintraub
Jon Granoff

Leifman; Lindsey; McWhorter; Glick; Jackie Scola; Tunis; Lederman; Ward; Echarte; Emas; Bagley. [Rumpole notes that if you ever want to chat with Judge Echarte, just find him outside with his cigar. He almost got arrested for loitering and prowling because of the time he spends out there.]

Lawyer who always say hello and hence ARE nice:
Defense lawyers who are NICE:
Hersch; Rabin ;Grey, his good looking partner; Tannebaum;
All of the ticket lawyers ; Half the PD's office ;Ken Hassett;

ASA'S WHO ARE NICE: Bill Howell; Richard Scruggs; Abie Rifkin; Mike the DJ Greico; Bill McGee; Kathy Rundle herself.. the ONE time she actually showed up in a courtroom....Bennett Brummer... himself.. the ONE time he actually showed up in a courtroom...

Krieger-Martin; MJ Francis;Newman;Peterson;Slom;Adrien;
Blake (best jokes too);Firtel;Jimenez;Piniero;Reyes;Soto;Young;Lopez;
Crespo and Leyte (in memory)
Rosinek; Trawick;Zabel;Silverman.

Rumpole says: hmmm….lots of fodder and grist for the mill. (we edited one listing of an ASA because it had a gratuitous comment in the form of a nickname that was just mean. We like nicknames, but the reader should think of something better than the one they used. The comment in its original form is still in the comments section.)

Which half of the PD's office is nice? The lawyers who go to court or the lawyers who stay in the office, munch donuts, and tell the lawyers who go to court what to say and how to say it?

Seriously, if this Grieco thing does not die down, we’re going to pour water over someone’s head in court, just to generate a new controversy and change the topic. It's not that the list idea was overpoweringly interesting, but just that it might change the topic from "Davidoff/Grieco/I know not what I speak o"

See You In Court. We’re the one’s holding the water pitcher in a menacing manner.



Several readers have emailed us to alert us to the sad news that Judge Linda Dakis suffered a serious stroke over the weekend and that the prospect for her recovery is not good. During these days of religious holidays and introspection, this is a good time for supplication on behalf of Judge Dakis to whomever you believe is running things.

This is not the time for fun and irreverence. Suffice to say we have been stuck west of the Mississippi on dreary legal matters that successfully concluded, and are winging our way home.

See You in Court.

Thursday, April 13, 2006


A friend of the blog (FOB) emailed this press release to us. We welcome our colleague from over the pond, and remind everyone that The English and the Americans are two people separated by a common language.

11th Judicial Circuit of Florida
For Immediate Release
Contact: Eunice Sigler, Director
Office of Government Liaison & Public Relations
Phone (305) 349-7187 Fax (305) 349-7190

Real Life Rumpole Visits the Eleventh Judicial Circuit Court

Miami, FL - Sir Ivan Lawrence, Queen’s Counsel, one of Britain’s leading barristers and a former member of Parliament for 20 years will speak about the British legal system and his experiences defending and prosecuting some of Britain’s most high profile cases. He and his wife, Lady Gloria Lawrence, are guests of Judge Bonnie Lano Rippingille, acting Circuit Court Judge in the Domestic Violence Division and her husband, Steven Schoedinger. She has invited all of the Assistant Public Defenders, Assistant State Attorneys, the Judges of the Eleventh Judicial Circuit and members of the Bar to this event. There will be a question and answer session after the presentation.
The event will take place in Courtroom 20C of the Lawson E. Thomas Courthouse Center, 175 NW First Avenue on Thursday, April 13th from Noon to 1:15 PM.
For information call 305-349-5701.


Fall-out from DJ Dofus and his prosecution of Redskin safety Sean Taylor: We heard ESPN report yesterday that Mr. Grieco resigned from the case. Here is what we see:
Mr. Grieco tried playing in the big leagues, but was no match for the opposition. Not to mix football and baseball metaphors, but its back to the minor leagues for you DJ Dofus.

Ex ASA Davidoff, living in the Big Apple, makes his final post on DJ Dofus:

This will be my last post about Mr. Grieco. Bad judgment is a synonym for Mike. Mike has continually used his position as a prosecutor not to only bolster himself, but to harm innocent victims. I am not involved with the Sean Taylor matter, but I think his actions are disgusting. I am involved in the case where Grieco acted as a defense attorney while employed by the State Attorneys Office and attempted to use his influence as a prosecutor to protect his friend. This was not bad judgment, this was corruption. Mike should have been fired for his actions. My client is now contemplating how he should proceed against Mike. Maybe my client will decide to move on, maybe he will decide to pursue several options. However, either way, Mr. Grieco you owe my client an apology. Mr. Grieco you owe the people of Florida an apology for interfering with a criminal investigation and abusing your power. Someone previously said KFR finally is defending her prosecutors. Come on, that is a joke. Mike's actions are not defendable.

Call the game as it should be called.
Mike, your actions are horrific.

Rumpole wonders if that last paragraph isn't pulled from Godfather II, during the senate hearing when the government witness (Frankey something) can't ID Michael Corleone and Tom Hagan starts shouting that the senate and the government owe Michael Corleone an apology.

Rumpole gives Mr. Grieco the same sage advice we gave Judge Lindsey: Hang in there Mike- some other Judge or attorney will shortly do something stupid and you will be out of the cross hairs of the blog's readers.

Rumpole misses Miami, and will see you in court next week, or whenever we can get this blasted matter to a jury.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006



75 comments and counting on the last post, but our favorite comment came from a Konty Kort ASA flying under the radar of the Komissar:

I'm a County Court ASA and we're so insulated over here, we know nothing. Who are the good Division Chiefs in felony land? Who are the bad? And who is LORNA?!?!

Rumpole says: welcome young counselor. All your questions will be answered. Just keep reading our blog. Plus, whats the deal with that ASA from Italy in front of Beth Bloom? He's a riot!

And this reader responded:

County court ASA are the best. they think their case is the most important one in the world and will not make a decent offer becasue of it. It's all about a learning curve. and usually, they are still learning.

And this reader commented:

If County Court ASA's were made to intern in the felony division before going to County, they would have a better perspective about the system and would see the county cases for what they really are. I've heard felony ASA's say that after going to Circuit they realized how ridiculous they looked prosecuting misdemeanors as if they were capital cases.


Things just keep getting weirder, but that’s why we love the REGJB and criminal law in Miami. A Prosecutor/DJ? “My Space” ads jeopardizing a prosecution against Redskins Safety Sean Taylor? A My Space Motion to dismiss???

Its still all Grieco to us. Plus, Mr. Davidoff is taking quite a bashing on the comments section. But as others can testify to, that’s what happens when you are brave enough to post your name. And people wonder why we choose to remain anonymous?

Anyway, our favorite Herald Scribe broke the My Space Motion to Dismiss, which can be found here:

Posted on Wed, Apr. 12, 2006
Prosecutor's weekend DJ job new wrinkle in Taylor case

Attorneys for Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor plan to ask a judge to dismiss aggravated assault charges against him because the prosecutor in the case has a website that linked to articles about the Taylor case.Attorney Janice Burton Sharpstein claims the website and the link to news articles shows that Assistant State Attorney Mike Grieco is only prosecuting Taylor because he wants to be known as a prosecutor of the stars and in order to further his side career as a weekend disc jockey.''The prosecutor is not interested in just the facts of the case,'' she said. ``He's interested in promoting his fame by prosecuting celebrities. He's using those articles to promote his business as DJ Esquire.'' Grieco deleted the links on his web page on Myspace.com Wednesday morning after learning of Sharpstein's intention to file a motion to have the case dismissed.He declined to comment on Sharpstein's allegations.The State Attorney's Office says Taylor was charged based on reliable information and his prosecution has nothing to do with Grieco's side business or website. The office gave Grieco permission to do side work as a disc jockey.Taylor, a former University of Miami star, was arrested in June after police say he waved a gun at several people he believed were involved in the theft of a friend's all-terrain vehicle. His case was postponed several times so he could play football last season.It is currently scheduled to go to trial on May 8th

A reader quipped:

grieco, you better plea that dog out before you get spanked. as warren sapp once said,"if you cant play with the big dogs you better stay on the porch".

Rumpole says: DJ ESQUIRE???? How long did it take everyone in the SAO to stop laughing about that? If we were in that office, we would be leaving little 45 records in his office. DJ Esquire?? What a riot!!! Does he give closings in rap/rhyme as well?

Rumpole notes that it’s the start of a Holiday Season. Passover those mean comments and show everyone a little peace and love. Have a Good Friday, and Great Easter Sunday. Unfortunately for us, we remain held hostage in this backwater southern town, by this backwater southern Judge, and this backwater southern prosecutor who wants to do all sorts of bad things to our client.
Fear not-Rumpole is on the case! However, because of this stupid circus and the holidays, posts may be a bit slow for a few days. However, those of you ready to file some really mean comments, don’t go there- we still monitor the blog hourly (we have to do something that interests us in court besides listen to a witness) and will remove them at once.

See You In Court. Not the REGJB until Monday.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


A Reader gets write to the painful points:

1) Judge Pando is a wonderful judge and always has been.

2) The idea of Rumpole writing a column for the Herald is absurd and delusional. While we who work at the justice building may find this mildly amusing, the public could care less.
3) Rumpole must have one SLOOOOW practice and NO life to have so much time to write this

Rumpole responds: 1) yes; 2) ouch!; 3) unfortunately, yes.

Edward R. Murrow, “this is London calling” writes in:

I think that we should reelect Manny Diaz so that he can endorse Joe Arriola for State Attorney. At least nobody would be surprised by all these shenanigans. Of course we would all bitch and moan about it, but somehow everyone would get reelected as they always have around here. We're the ones who know the qualities of our elected leaders (or lack thereof). Don't like KFR? Think Don Horn is an incompetent lackey who sells out his ASAs at the drop of a hat, while telling his prosecutors that they're a team and a "family?" Lawyers who know what's up can actually do something about this mess, but we won't, so I look forward to many good times and many more scandals revealed on the blog.
Good night and good luck.

COME BLOW YOUR HORN: Rumpole lectures:

All this negative commentary in the comments section about Don Horn. Don was a great and well respected trial attorney under Janet Reno. We have always believed Fernandle was lucky to have him as a top administrator when he returned to the SAO from the big bucks of a large law firm civil practice. He may very well be the next State Attorney, and we would be lucky to have him.


Has anyone else seen Judge Rippengale campaigning with and for other

A reader writes in:

Hey Rump! what is going on with all this BS with the judges? I thought they could not endorse any other candidate or judge seeking re-election, publicly or otherwise? I went to an event last week where I watched Rippingle literally invite and bring up a young guy who filed against that female former hearing officer..her name escapes me...it's marty shapiro's seat...Rippingle introduced him to the crowd and it was obvious she was endorsing him...McWhorter too! what is going on? Can you tell us what these Judges can or cannot do? isn't this a JQC violation in the making? especially after Rippingle called albert Q. to keep his associate from filing against him.


Rumpole notes that Mr. Davidoff has joined the ranks of the "not afraid to sign my name club" that includes such distinguished members (and walking wounded) as Jason Grey, Bobby Reiff, Brian Tannebaum, Phil "Bulletts" Reizenstein, and many others. While we applaud Mr. Davidoff, we remind him that these pages can get quite rough, so buckle up and hang on, as Mr. Grieco and his cohorts have yet to fire back. Perhaps they are holding fire until they can see the whites of Davidoff's eyes?

See You In Court.

PS much like the county court judge who gets a label that they don't know anything about felonies, in response to the first post here, we object to the reader who does not think we could entertain the fair citizens of Dade County on topical (and tropical) topics. We are supremely confident that our view of events transcends REGJB and many people would find our musings on larger events enjoyable. If you thought we had fun with our old Pal Bennett Brummer, just imagine what fun we could have with Geo Bush, Brother Jeb, Dick “Bullets” Cheney (hey didn’t we already use that nickname?), and the crew at Miami City Hall.

Alas, hanging out an available for hire sign did little for our career.

We will just keep hacking around the REGJB, cashing those Court Appointment Checks and making sure that the level of alcohol in our body does not fall to dangerously low levels.

Monday, April 10, 2006


A reader makes an allegation against an ASA:

Mr. R,

I have a few questions. I hear life at the SAO is better now that they have finally set in on their new pod system, is this true?

Is it true that Mike Grieco was under investigation for bribes and KFR swept the truth under the door because Grieco is handling a high publicity case and KFR does not need to run for state attorney again? Also, is it true that Grieco is doing special favors for friends on the beach, those friends that he knew from his business days on the beach? I heard Grieco got a couple of cases dismissed, after Grieco failed to convince the detectives that his friends were innocent. Rumor is Grieco got the cased dismissed on a C4 motion and the ASA was fired because he did not respond to the C4 motion. Was it Grieco who told him not to respond to the C4 motion.
Is it true that KFR would fail a random drug test?

Another reader has the inside scoop:

Grieco called up a detective (Ramos) on South Beach the night his friend got arrested. Grieco told the detective, whose wife is a former ASA, and told him not to make the arrest. Grieco said the defendant was a friend of his and the detective should not make the arrest, as a favor to Grieco. The detective did the right thing and made the arrest.Grieco, allegedly, even went into Leyte's courtroom and said he was going to represent his friend but he was still an ASA. Supposedly Leyte told Grieco to file his NOA after he left the SAO and told Grieco his antics were unethical.Grieco left the SAO, but did not represent his friends.Grieco came back to the SAO and the case was still pending. Interesting that the case was dismissed based on a C4 motion not being responded to. The ASA who was handling the case, left the office during the time the C4 motion was pending. Don Horn said Grieco did nothing wrong. Horn said the case should have been handled better by the pit prosecutor. Horn said he was sorry there was an error and that the C4 motion should have been responded to.I got this story from an attorney who was representing the victim in the case. Neither the victim nor his attorney ever got a letter of apology or an explanation on Grieco's games.Grieco is real ethical.

(Former?) ASA Jonathan Davidoff wrote in with this to say:

Hello all. I do not know if this is working, but I will give it a try.Honestly, I could careless about Mike Grieco and his friends. I do not think you should all get down into name calling and ridiculous allegations about wealth, body build, or sexual orientation. The bottom line about Mike Grieco is that he abused his power as an ASA. Simple as that.Mike tried to exert his influence over a police officer when he should not have been involved in the case. It is true that Mike did call the detective up and vouched for his friend. Mike asked the officer not to arrest his friend. Additionally, Mike called me the day after the arrest and asked me to have the victim not cooperate with the State and not to attend the prefile conference. Mike told me he was going to represent his friend. Finally, I heard that Mike went to the courtroom the day of the arraignment and wanted to file a notice of appearance. However, I heard the judge and clerk told him he could not until he was in private practice.The case was filed against Mike's friend and a co-defendant. There were independent witnesses to the crime, who did not know either the defendants or the victim. There was no knife involved. The victim knew the defendant through the defendant's girlfriend, who had a previous altercation with the victim. Finally, this incident took place at Rock Bar and it is true that the defendants were not permitted in the bar. What Mike failed to tell you all is that his friend told the bouncer that he was going to kick the shit out of the bouncer.Month later, the case was dismissed because the ASA handling the case did not traverse the case. I reported Mike to KFR and Don Horn told me that Mike should never have called the police officer and that it was a mistake not to traverse the motion to dismiss. Don offered his apology, but would never write a letter to the victim.That is the case. Simple as that. Mike is who he is and I thank him for his services to the people of Miami-Dade County. We appreciate you staying on the side of good. I forgot to say one more thing. I have never met the victim in the case, he was sent to me by a friend. I was not paid one penny. I never asked for a penny. I was not hired to represent the victim on the civil matter either. I just assisted the victim in presenting his case to the State. Grieco got the great Robert Reiff to defend his friends during the prefile.Also, I am not friends with the officer, I do not believe I ever met him

This post was just too funny to leave out:

I said he would do just fine, not well, but in either case that's hardly the point. How about everyone just go back to the "If someone abuses their authority then...they're a scumbag." As far as I can tell, only one person on this whole page has first hand knowlege of any of the goings on in the Matter of Disgruntled Posters v. Grieco. That would be Davidoff. He can make whatever assertions he wants because he put his name to it. All the others seem to just not like him. It would be so easy to just pick another ASA (or PD) at random and talk about how scummy he/she is.

Sweet Jehovah Witness! It just occurred to me that I'm defending Grieco. Rump, this is a very strange post. I say we all pick on someone else, because now more than ever Mr. DJ will be very proud that he has occupied so much space.

Rumpole notes that Judge Lindsey just sent ASA Grieco a dozen roses for getting her out of the blog’s crossfire.

See You In Court.

Sunday, April 09, 2006


Anonymous found an inspiring quote:

Our liberty depends on the freedom of the blog, and that cannot be limited without being lost.Thomas Jefferson, 1786


Well Rump, this morning I purchased a wireless internet connection under a fake company name in order to blog on this site. I am sitting on the beach somewhere in Miami and have not even told my kids where we are at. On the way here I blindfolded them so as to confuse them all in an effort to avoid being detected. Listen, I don't believe the subpoena bullshit, but I just feel better doing it this way. I will check in later, when the sun sets

Anonymous worries:

Rump, as you are soon to be outted, and are sending overt signals that you are seeking employment at a local newspaper, please don't forget us if it all hits the fan. We believed in you, you will lead us to a better land, please, please do not let us down. I have a career at stake, kids at Ransom and a tuition at Duke to pay. Please. I am serious. My comments about Leifman were in jest

Rumpole responds:

brave in the face of danger,
courageous in the face of overwhelming odds,
rest assured that Rumpole can be counted on…..
to ditch you losers at the first offer of a minimum wage job doing something other than hacking around the REGJB.


Lauri Ross, Esq., wrote:

I love Rumpole, have my own suspicions as to his(yes, I think Rumpole is a man) identity, but will happily sign on as the pro bono lawyer to quash any subpoenas. Sincerely, Lauri Waldman Ross

Rumpole responds: You’re hired! Mainly because we could afford your fee.
You love us???and we haven’t even been on a date yet.
Remember that old adage:
he who dates his lawyer…..
is usually eligible for parole after 20 years.

Anonymous decided confession is indeed good for the soul:

Hell, as long as we are all being outed, Kathy is the best, I love Judge Miller, Bennett is a phenom, cops never lie, and ASA's are truly doing god's work.

Blog Police?

Does there now exist a Blog police ? In south florida they can't even arrest and prosecute most real criminals much less blogers who's opinion they don't like.

Rumpole responds: yes, and there is also a Blog defense team: for $69.00 a lawyer with no experience will go to court and defend you and guarantee you no points on your blog license or your money back.


It was one of those cold and blustery South Florida winter days. Highs in the low 70’s, winds out of the NE at 5 mph, 5% chance of rain. The weather being so bad, we were sitting around feeling gloomy because we had no cases to try and no Judge had recently done anything as stupid as calling a PD at home to berate her for overturning his excessive 30 year sentence on appeal. (one day, somehow, someway, someone will come forward and confirm that story so that this Judge can stand before the court of public opinion.)

Anyway, for no particular reason, we took a cheap and undeserved shot at Mr. T, Brian Tannebaum. We said that his attendance in Tallahassee for the start of the legislative session left us feeling uncomfortable. No real reason behind the words, it was just one of those days.

The fact is that Mr. Tannebaum has been in Tallahassee several times, alerting defense attorneys to the Tallahassee Lassies’s attempts to undermine the Constitution, and fighting the good fight. Mr. Tannbaum shortly will conclude his year as president of the Miami Chapter of the FACDL and during that year he has taken some rough shots in the pages of this blog. We think he has done a fine job. We should all remember that his work thwarting those publicity hungry, constitutionally ignorant Lassies, was time he donated to causes he believes in.

So we say: “Thank you. Job Well Done.”

Because of our renewed friendship with Mr. T, he was able to exclusively email us a proposed bill that was successfully killed in committee:


WHEREAS The Florida Legislature has been told that DUI is a serious problem.
WHEREAS The Florida Legislature has been told that the apparatchiks employed by the KOMMISAR OF KONTY KORT are regularly thwacked at trial, thwarting the KOMMISAR’S commandment that all who drive shall pay with a conviction.
WHEREAS The Florida Legislature has a working knowledge of the habits of the citizens of Dade County,

BE IT ENACTED, That as of October 1, 2006, all individuals found to be in actual physical control of a motor vehicle within the borders of Dade County, are declared to be impaired. At trial of any driver in Dade County, it shall be the Defendant’s burden to prove himself or herself innocent, and unless the Defendant overcomes that burden by proof beyond any possible shadow of any possible doubt, no matter how small the doubt remaining, the jury shall be instructed to find the Defendant guilty.

BE IT ENACTED That as Of October 1, 2006, any individual who refuses a breath test at the request of any law enforcement officer shall : 1) be beaten to a bloody pulp by Metro Dade Police Officer Jerry Davenport (see DUI ToughGuy post on November 23, 2005 ) and shall 2) be sentenced to perform 1 thousand hours of community service at the Dade County State Attorneys office Traffic division.

Rumpole gives heartfelt thanks to our FACDL representatives for beating back this proposed law.


Regarding the comment about Leifman's JA... The poster fails to recognize the difference between excercising one's right to free expression, on the one hand, and being paid to shill for a campaign.D'Arce, when he decided to make money as a "political operative," just to use his own lawyer's words, lost a huge chunk of the protection afforded him by the first amendment.And Rumpole, whatever goodwill Judge Hernandez had before this incident has evaporated with his refusal to fire D'Arce for his gross ethical lapses. It reflects poorly on his judgment, his character and his ethics.

Rumpole notes that your opinion is shared by many, and is probably why his honor has opposition at the polls. Dade County, the bastion of freedom and democracy can be counted on the make the right decision in this election.

Our citizens, when they vote, live by this credo:
cada candidato con un apellido hispánico para arriba para la elección o la reelección ganará, no importa qué son las calificaciones de su opositor.

This is life folks. Nobody complained when anyone named Klein could become a Judge and Rudy Sorrondo could not win an election.


Anonymous writes:

Ray is a super guy. Ray, however did what many prosecutors do, but he did it in public. Ray losing his job is the proper thing. But, why does KFR not test prosecutors before they start working? Why is there not random drug testing? How many times has KFR been DUI? Now KFR has a driver? How many times has a prosecutor and dj been involved with such activities? Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Rumpole says, fire the driver, have one less drink, and pay your ASA’s more.

See You In Court. We drive ourselves to court.

Friday, April 07, 2006



Rump, there is a very interesting rumor going around that Judge Bertila Soto and Hector Loncaca called Ms. Gloria Gonzalez to get her to move out of the Group she is at an put her elsewhere. I just read an opinion from the JQC and Supreme Court and Judge Soto may have just commited a great offense for calling a candidate and Mr. Loncaca as well since he is on a Committee for a Judge(s) and thus the Judge is responsible for his actions. Not to mention his appointment on the JNC by the Governor which sounds to me like conflict out of Iraq.

Can you (Rump) or the Captain please investigate and let us know. Please Rump, urge Ms. Gonzalez to write to the Blog about this matter. I am surprised to hear this BS as I hear her husband is a cop. Can someone call Loncaca and get his side as well. I know he is a bit arrogant, but why shake people down? Rump, only you can prevent a Forest Fire, only you.

One more thing, it is also said that Judge Ripyourhearout has called the famous Albert Q. to make sure his trusted lawyer will not run against her. As well, she is taking Judge McWhorter around to many events helping her campaign. What's the deal? Did Democracy end in Miami-Dade County? It is against the JQC to call and scare people Judge Ripyourhearout. What are you thinking. Rump, mucho Furgo in the Ripster and McWhorter. Of course, allegedly.

Rumpole responds: Behind the lighthearted manner of your posts rests some serious allegations against sitting Judges. These allegations are just that: unverified allegations. These Judges are invited to email us their responses. As in every other situation, when a Judge emails us a response to an allegation, it is posted in its entirety without any alterations. Even that one time when we felt his honor sat down to blog after finishing that bottle of wine, and then had a few nips of the cooking sherry….the email went up in its entirety.

A reader wants the truth:

Rumpole - it is time to stop hiding the truth - tell your readers that Judge David Miller is the runaway winner in the Best ASA Poll - disclose!

Rumpole replies that the only thing we won’t disclose is our identity…unless faced with contempt of court. See the last paragraph of this post.


A reader has been sipping a bit of wine at fundraiser recently, and started seeing things:

I thought Judge Leifman said that JAs cannot campaign. Then why is Laura going to every fundraiser in town and taking names of who is there giving? Hello? Will someone please put her on check? People do not want to donate anymore. Stop scaring us please. I'll buy perfume, it is cheaper.

Rumpole notes that we have been at several recent fundraisers ( not by choice…we just went out to dinner and there was the judge with his/her friends. You can’t walk into a restaurant these days without running into some judicial fundraiser) and did not see the JA in question. However, there is a marked difference in a JA attending a fundraiser and a JA actively campaigning against another sitting Judge. By the way, just so it’s clear: while we abhor the alleged activities of JA D’Arce, we have always thought Judge Hernandez was a gentleman and a credit to the bench and we take no delight in the fact that he now has a challenger.


A reader with too much time on his/her hands wrote:

During a recent search on Google I got a hit in the top ten for this Blog. This is a testament to the webcrawler at Google. However, that led me to think whether we really want people in Rochester, Nebraska or even Broward County to read what we the enlightened guardians of justice are up to in our spare time (I might add some of you on County time). Perhaps some of you should realize that your silly musings are only interesting to yourselves, and you should spare the rest of us your dribble.

And another reader wonders:

if our silly musings are only interesting to ourselves, how did this blog obtain top 10 status on google?The world is waiting for the d'arce indictment.

Rumpole ponders: Well, it can’t be our dashing and rugged good looks. It can’t be our sexy graphics. Could it be our writing and sense of humor? Or is the answer to be found in the incredible number of bored judges and attorneys in our fair city? Top Ten huh? And we ain’t even trying. Why, if some enterprising Newspaper wanted to PAY US for our talents (Hint hint) we could devote some real time and energy to this thing, and it would really take off. Hmm. … A “Rumpole Column” on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the Herald (we would even buy Joan some flowers) or the New Times sounds nice. Or even our overworked friends at the Daily Business Review……Until then….pardon us as we are going to prepare some more motions on disorderly conduct and petit theft cases.

A LITTLE BENNETT IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL. Can’t go too long without chatting about our pal, our buddy, our best-est PD:

Say what you will about BHB (especially after the fiascos of the last election campaign), but I think I can safely say that life as a PD is way better than life as an ASA. Yes, we're still underpaid (but we still make more than the ASA's) and overworked, but I'll tell you this much: there's no one breathing down my neck and telling me what to do with my cases. I can wear jeans to the office whenever I'm not in court, and in general, the attorneys seem to be pretty happy there. And if I lose at trial, I don't get chewed out or reprimanded. Out of all the PD's who were hired in my class, all but one are still with the office. Conversely, I know several ASA's who were hired at around the same time as I was who are long gone.... (Coincidentally, they were among the smartest and fairest ASA's that I worked with.)

SUBPOENA???? RUN….HIDE. Some little bird and friend of the blog dropped us an email hinting or wondering that someone may be trying to subpoena us. Yikes! S/He said the rumor was on our blog. Does anyone remeber that post?

A subpoena could blow this whole thing to kingdom come. We’d be lucky to get a job going to traffic ticket status conferences in Orlando after our identity was revealed. Any First Amendment Attorneys want to handle a high profile pro bono case?


See You In Court dodging process servers. We are quicker than we look. A product of some championship dodge ball games in our younger days.