JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG

WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM. Winner of the prestigious Cushing Left Anterior Descending Artery Award.

Monday, January 30, 2023

IN PRAISE OF A JUDGE

 We are hard on those who wear robes for a living. Much of the criticism is well deserved, and a little bit of it has brought about some well needed changes in the judiciary. Often times, we just take shots at those ill equipped to defend themselves when off the bench (like that was a cheap shot right there). 

But the fact is that Judges come from being civil lawyers, prosecutors, defense attorneys, and there are rumored to be a few who are not members of the Federalist Society- of whom almost none can have a serious conversation on the epistemology of the philosophy of said judicial breeding ground beyond "I just call balls and strikes and don't legislate from the bench" pablum they have been forced fed. 

Which leads us to Judge Scott Cupp of the 20 Judicial Circuit of Florida (Motto: "Y'all are welcome here, even youens from Miamah") who is resigning the bench after a decade or so, to continue his defense of former client Leo Schofield who Judge Cupp is certain sits in prison wrongfully convicted of the murder of his wife. 

Yes, you Judges read that correct between munching your Cuban toast, sipping your cafe con leche, and signing your name to Rule 3.850 orders prepared by prosecutors denying motions you haven't read.

There is a Judge, in Florida, who is taking a principled stand and resigning his cushy job to right a wrong. 

The NY Times article we read, and also sent to us by a retired Miami Judge who is a great fan of the blog, is here. 

The case involves a podcast we recommend, as well as the confession of a mentally disturbed man  to committing the murder in this case and who took other people to the area where the victim in this case was murdered; who is serving a life sentence for beating and robbing someone, and - steady yourself- whose fingerprints were found in the woman's car. And there is no known association between this man and the woman murdered, meaning for you judges who like to deny Rule 3's, there was no reason for this man's prints to be in the victim's car. 

All of which engendered this thoughtful response by the prosecution: 

If we thought that Leo Schofield, or any other inmate, was innocent,   we would take immediate action to right that injustice,”  said Jacob S. Orr, chief assistant state attorney for Florida’s 10th Judicial Circuit. “However, the state cannot ignore          the overwhelming amount of evidence that has proven  Leo Schofield guilty.”


Judge Scott Cupp, who told the Times "I am done sitting idly by and letting the State assault this man." 

Are there Judges Rumpole admires? You bet. You're reading about one right here. 

Image

 

Sunday, January 29, 2023

BLACK SUNDAY NFL CHAMPIONSHIP SUNDAY 2023

 Black Sunday was a movie, filmed in the Orange Bowl in 1977 about a fictitious terrorist attack on a Super Bowl. Rumpole, along with tens of thousands of Miamians, was an extra, not knowing that his lifetime fate - the Justice Building (as it was known then) was just over the bridge and down the street. The Orange Bowl used to be a football stadium where the Dolphins and Canes played before most REGJB judges were born.

Two years later, in 1979, Las Vegas Bookies experienced a real black Sunday in perhaps the greatest Super Bowl every played. In Super Bowl XIII, which featured the first Super Bowl rematch, two teams with superstars at their peak faced off. The Steelers had Terry Bradshaw at QB, Franco Harris at RB, Joe Green and LC Greenwood on the d-line, Jack Ham and Jack Lambert at LB, Donnie Shell and Mel Blount in the secondary, and Swann and Stallworth as the WRs, Hall of famers all- except for LC who should be in the HOF. The Cowboys had their own hall of fame to be players, including Roger Staubach at QB, Tony Dorsett at RB, Ed "too tall" Jones and Randy White on the D line. For three quarters the teams went toe to toe, the score see-sawing back and forth until the Steelers broke it open and went up 35-17, only to see Staubach throw two TDs in the final two and half minutes of the game. He hit Bily Joe Dupree (the best name for a Cowboy football player ever) to bring it to 35-24 and then Dallas recovered the onsides kick. Staubach then hit Butch Johnson for a TD to get the backdoor middle of 35-31 with 22 seconds left before reliable Rocky Blier, the Steeler halfback, recovered the on-sides kick to seal the game and the middle play.  

It was a great game, enjoyed by all who watched it except....if you ran a book in Las Vegas. This game is known as Black Sunday for the books and remains one of only two Super Bowls in which the house lost and lost big. (The other SB loss for the books is when the underdog Giants beat the undefeated Cheaters and a ton of money was on the underdog Giants).  

The reason why the house lost is the line and how it moved. The line opened with the Steelers as 3 1/2 point favorites and as the money flowed in on Pittsburgh, the line moved to 4 1/2, bringing in the late Dallas money. Remember a book makes money on a game by having an even amount of money bet on each team, with the losing bets paying a ten percent vig. 

The Steelers won 35-31, by four points, and the Vegas books took a beating, because millions of dollars were bet on the Steelers - 3/1 and Dallas +4 1/2 and the books had to pay out on both ends- called a middle bet- including a young Rumpole, on his first trip to Vegas with his lifelong friend 52nd Street Irwin, who talked us into 500 on the Steelers -3 1/2 and 500 on the Cowboys + 4/12- it was at the time the most cash we had ever held. 

Lefty Rosenthal ran the book at the Stardust, and he ran a promotion allowing bettors right up to game time to take the spread bet of Steelers - 3 1/2 and Dallas +4 1/2. Rosenthal was the character Robert DeNiro played in Casino, and the Stardust lost close to two million 1979 dollars which was a lot of money back then. 

Legendary Vegas odds maker Jimmy Vaccaro ran the small sports at the Royal Inn casino. After the game the owner of the Casino called Vaccaro. "You want the good news or the bad news first?" asked Vacarro. "The bad news" said the owner. "We lost about 200 grand" said Vacarro. "What's the good news?" the owner asked. "We only lost about 200 grand" Vacarro replied. 

Which brings us to the Chiefs- Bengals game today. The line opened with Bengals a 1 to 1.5 favorite, and after a lot of publicity about how Chiefs QB Mahomes' ankle was all better, the line shifted to KC -1 to -1.5. So is there a middle play here? We don't see it. 

These teams, when everyone is healthy, are scoring machines. They can run with anyone and score on anyone, which means absent some numerical oddities, the game should be decided on a last second TD or FG and one of these two teams will win by 2 to 6 points. A one-point game is possible, and we immediately put down a few bottles' worth of Chateau Miami River on the Bengals, who we have liked to make it to the SB since before the Bills game (and we gave you the winner in that one). When the line moved and KC became a favourite, remembering black Sunday and our friend 52nd Street (who succumbed to Covid before he could get a vaccine) we tried to see if we could find a book that would allow us to middle KC -2 and Cincy -2. where a one-point win either way pays off both tickets. So far the books are too sharp to risk that play. Meanwhile we loaded up on the Bengals getting 1.5. We like the Bengals +1.5.  Cincy has KC's number. They are a tough team and Joe Burrow has won more road playoff games to date than Joe Montanna won in his career. 

WIN - With San Fran down to their 5th string Qb - RB McCaffery- this was an easy win 31-7 for the Eagles. Right now we think the line for Eagles/Bengals should be even or one of the teams a .5 favourite depending on the injury situation, However,  we are guessing there will be a lot of Eagles money to open this week, and they will open as -3 favouties over Cincy, and -4.5 over KC. The over/under should be around 47 but will creep up to 50 and even then we like the over. 

In the Philly - San Fran game, we go back to our theme last week. It's midnight, and it's time for Cinderella to go home. In this case Cinderella is Brock Purdy, the 49ers rookie third string QB who has yet to lose a professional game. 

But he has never played a game in Philadelphia, where a few years ago the fans infamously booed Santa Claus on a Christmas Eve game. This Eagles team is as well rounded a team as you will see, with some last-minute defense free-agent pickups that have made them a powerhouse. The key to this game is turnovers. San Fran makes a run only if Jalen Hurts turns the ball over more than once. Otherwise, we see a 35-17 Eagles win. Take Philly big as a 2.5 favoritie at home. We do not think this will be close.  


Watch the second part of the trailer for scenes of Miami and the Orange Bowl circa 1977. 

Saturday, January 28, 2023

JUDGE MARCIA COOKE HAS PASSED AWAY

 We are deeply saddened by the passing of United States District Judge Marcia Cooke who passed away Friday. Judge Cooke became ill last year on a flight home from a Hawaiian vacation and has been hospitalized ever since. 

2023 has started off as a year of loss. Let's hope this trend does not continue. 

David Markus runs the SDFL blog and that is the appropriate place for friends and colleagues to post remembrances of Judge Cooke. Click here. 

We did not appear much in front of Judge Cooke. But a few years ago, we were asked to assist a colleague on a fraud sentencing. Judge Cooke did not like the charges. She was not impressed by the client. But she did admire our colleague and it remains in our mind an example of how superb lawyering can move a judge who is open minded- as Judge Cooke's sentence was eminently fair and reasonable. 

It is almost a disservice to the memory of Judge Cooke to start listing all of the "firsts" of her career. Because she was so much more than just a remarkable woman who shattered glass ceilings. She was a force of law, reason, and justice. Whip smart, powerful in her knowledge of the law and people, in summarizing her career on the bench, it suffices to simply say this: when you walked out of her courtroom after a hearing, you said to yourself, having won or lost:  "Now that is what a Judge should be. Wow. "

Judge Cooke's untimely death is a loss that is irreplaceable for our legal community. 

Thursday, January 26, 2023

FUN WITH PICTURES

 Our alert readers were busy with their phone cameras this week. A few of their best work:


First up the side of the REGJB. 


Second up, we call this "The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same."



We call these next two, fun at civil court. We are currently re-examining our choice to decline all civil cases. Maybe, just maybe, there are some redeeming qualities to be had at 73 West Flagler... 



Just what in the name of Boogie Nights was going on here? Some "bottom" of the barrel cases going to court? Civil Assumptions gone awry? Feel free to add your best pun in the comments section. 



Wednesday, January 25, 2023

"WANT TO BE HAPPY? THEN DON'T BE A LAWYER." .....

 

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

Last Friday, January 20, 2023, the Washington Post's Kathleen Parker penned the following:

"Want to be happy? Then don’t be a lawyer."

Reprinted below are some excerpts from her story. You can read the entire piece here.

“It may surprise few that lawyers are the unhappiest people on the planet, at least when it comes to their jobs. This is according to lawyers themselves and is the conclusion of a recent analysis by The Post of data on America’s happiest and unhappiest workers.

Chalk up lawyers’ malaise to high levels of stress and a lack of “meaningfulness” in their work. This doesn’t mean all lawyers dislike their jobs, but data don’t lie (even if some lawyers sometimes do).  This analysis was done by Andrew Van Dam, who, speaking of meaningful employment, delves into vast databanks to answer questions posed by readers. In this case, he examined thousands of journals from the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ American Time Use Survey to find out who’s happy and who isn’t.”

Beneath all this data is perhaps a more important question: What is happiness?

As a teenager, I once asked my lawyer-father if he was happy. Pursing his lips, he thought for a moment, then said, “For some people, happiness is the absence of stress.” I assumed he was referring to himself. He also said in another conversation that he thrived on stress, from which I concluded that life is often contradictory. His answer, nonetheless, was consistent with the survey findings — the less the stress, the greater the happiness.

So, who are the happy devils who love their jobs? Envelope, please. And the winners are: lumberjacks, foresters and farmers.  The common denominator among the three is obvious. They all work primarily outdoors, soloists communing with nature far removed from the white-collar stresses of desk life and paperwork. 

What doesn’t show up in the analysis are any metaphysical reasons such workers are happy. I would submit that it’s because they spend their time close to nature. In my experience, living attuned to Earth’s cycles and seasons — and I don’t mean shopping for outerwear online — has a salubrious effect on body, mind and soul. Thus, Tibetan monks build monasteries on remote mountaintops. Henry David Thoreau lived alone for two years in a tiny shack he built overlooking Walden Pond. And many people find a renewed sense of self and purpose through wilderness programs such as Outward Bound and the National Outdoor Leadership School. Nature works wonders.

City dwellers might say that they experience nature in urban ways — by spending a day in a park, perhaps. Or, on vacation, they get to observe the ebbs and flows of oceans, rivers and lakes. To see wildlife, they can go to a zoo. But such bystander adaptations sidestep the essential point: It’s one thing to observe the natural world; it’s quite another to be a part of it."

So, instead of conducting a poll like has been done a few times before on this Blog, let’s open this up in the Comment section.

Please Comment and answer the following questions:

1. “It may surprise few that lawyers are the unhappiest people on the planet, at least when it comes to their jobs”. ARE YOU UNHAPPY WITH YOUR JOB?

2. For how many years have you been an attorney?

3. Are you a government attorney or in private practice?

4. What percent of your practice is criminal versus civil/other?

5. How many weeks of vacation do you take a year where you actually leave town spending your vacation somewhere else?

6. Do you find that the work you do is meaningful?

Have at it.

CAPTAIN OUT .......
Captain4Justice@gmail.com


Monday, January 23, 2023

OVALLE'S LAST HURRAH

 The Miami Herald posted the very last article super srcribe (and friend of the blog) David Ovalle wrote for them this past weekend. It was a thoughtful examination of the  new bond system Miami Dade is about to employ. The article is here. 

In one of his great books (and you should read them all, and we recommend listening to them since he is the narrator and his voice adds to the excellent writing) Malcom Gladwell in Talking to Strangers examines, inter alia, the fact that Judges are no better than anyone else in determining the danger a person seeking bond represents, or whether they are a risk of flight. No surprise there about the lack of perspicacity of those who sit above everyone else in a courtroom, but the bigger question we now face is whether we want to have that decision made by a human with mostly limited insight into the issues, or a computer running software? 

We do not mind a computer assisting a pilot landing a plane, or a robot assisted surgery, or even a Tesla on self-drive, but do we want decisions made by software- and how do you as an advocate argue against the decision the software has generated? Just how do you argue against a grouchy jurist, sitting in the REGJB on a Sunday morning with six hundred arrests to plow through, telling you "Counsel the Hal 9000 says your client is a risk of flight."  

(almost none of our 30 something robe wearers caught the reference to 2001 a Space Odessey, which we are happy to inform our latte-swilling gen-xer Judges was made in 1968, when your grandparents were in Haight- Ashbury in San Fran making love, not war. And for those of you who did catch the reference, did you know Hal was an acronym for Heuristically Algorithmic Programmed computer?)

While we understand several judges have devoted valuable half hour swaths of their time working with the Arnold Bakers (you have to read our previous post here to get this reference no matter how old or young you are), when they could have otherwise been saving humanity with their brilliance in court, there is something that doesn't sit right with justice via algorithms   (JVA (c) 2023 Rumpole, all rights reserved). 

BECAUSE...drum roll please- this is the thin edge of a large wedge.  Computer assisted decisions on bail and bonds, are one step removed from CADs on motions to suppress (not that it's that hard to write DENIED on orders) which are one step removed from...double drum roll please....CADs on bench trials....which are one step removed from ....triple drum roll please CAD JURY TRIALS. (cue the Tubular Bells music from the Exorcist, which has been remade and is being released this spring). 

In other words dear readers, regarding the fast-fading art of legal advocacy, it is all downhill from here. 

The Scene: The REGJB ELECTRONIC WAITING ROOM CHAT- circa 2055

Lawyer one- LOOK! It's that old guy who's been around since 2015. He's actually in court. 

Lawyer: OMFG ROLFL I heard he is the last lawyer alive who still argued a case to a jury of humans.

Lawyer Three- Gross. They were in court? Breathing on each other?

Lawyer One- Yup - until the Covid/Asian/Bird Flu CABF2029 wiped out 25% of the population. Remember when in 2028 they actually discovered the Microsoft microchip in the covid vaccines in some classified briefing papers found in the garage of President Buttigieg, which then caused everyone in 2029 to not get the CABF2029 vaccine, which caused the pandemic. 

There is no more frightening and eerie soundtrack for a scary movie then this:


Saturday, January 21, 2023

NFL PLAYOFFS 2022 SEASON DIVISIONAL ROUND

 We have four good games on tap this weekend. Two Saturday and two Sunday and we have your winners here. 

First up Saturday is America's Team- the Jacksonville Jaguars playing in KC against the Chiefs. KC Coach Andy Reid is something like 100-1 coming off a bye week. KC is favored by 9 and that's a lot against a Jaguar team that came back from a 27-0 deficit last week to eke out a win, although when the Jags played the Chiefs earlier this year KC won by 10. The likelihood of that happening again is the same as something like a federal judge sanctioning the former president a million bucks for filing frivolous lawsuits. Could happen- not likely.  

Of course we love the undercat, and the Jags are tempting, but the theme in the divisional round is that the clock is striking 12 and it's time for Cinderella to go home.  We will take the 9 and the Jags. but that is not our formal pick. That is just a bet we make so we can root for a team while swilling a Cab-Franc. We are advising to pick the over 52. It's more likely KC goes up 35-10 and wins 42-21 then the Jags keeping it close. 

Next up Saturday night are the New York Football Giants at Philly and the Fly Eagle Fly Eagles. The Giants surprised us last week, but the chatter on sports talk radio this week about the Giants having a chance is way way out of control. Philly dominated the league this year. Absent a serious injury to their QB they are going to the Super Bowl. The Giants played well, but again, the clock is striking 12 and it's time for Cinderella to go home. Philly -7.5 assuming Hurts isn't hurt.  Because we listen to our readers and have heard the colors can sometimes be hard to read, we repeat- Philly -7.5 assuming Hurts isn't hurt. If there is any question about Hurts, then the Giants are +300 and we like risking a hundrery to win three grand. It certainly gives us something to root for as we watch the game from our favourite weekend watering hole.  By tonight we will be sipping a nice Reisling for dessert. 

The Sunday early game is the best game of the weekend. Cincy at Buffalo in a repeat of the game that was canceled a few weeks ago. Buffalo is favoured by five at home. Too much. The Bills should win this game 34-31. Cincy will keep it close and really the game is even in our opinion, so you have to take the value and the points. Cincy surprised everyone last year and won on the road at KC and went to the super bowl. So do not be surprised if they win on Sunday. Buffalo is 8-8-1 against the spread this year. We will take that coin flip and Cincy +5 and over 48 which is a very low number considering the firepower both teams bring to this game. 

And now here is your "upset" for the weekend. The Cowboys are 3.5 point dogs on the road in San Fran. The San Fran QB is a third string rookie drafted as the very last player in the draft. He's been good, but he's a rookie. Dallas has a defense better than anything Purdy and the 49'ers have seen. Dallas has Dak and he knows how to win (and lose) playoff games.  It will be a Dallas/Philly NFC championship game next week. But for today take those cowpokes and 3.5 and over 46.  The most compelling drama this weekend? Whether the Dallas kicker can make an extra point after missing FOUR last week. 



Friday, January 20, 2023

UNCIVIL LAW

What we know about civil law, to paraphrase our departed property law professor when he talked about criminal law- "what we know about civil law you could stick in the eye of a flea and it would not blink."

But we know this- when an order on sanctions in a civil case that has been dismissed starts out like Judge Middlebrooks' order does- trouble is afoot. 

"This case should never have been brought. (ouch). Its inadequacy as a legal claim was evident from the start. No reasonable lawyer would have filed it. (double ouch!). Intended for a political purpose, none of the counts of the amended complaint stated a cognizable legal claim." 

After tagging the lawyers and the plaintiff for almost one million dollars in sanctions, Judge Middlebrooks noted that the plaintiff engaged in behavior in other cases including 

1. Provocative and boastful rhetoric. (In fairness, so do we...)
2. A political narrative carried over from rallies. 
3. Attacks on political opponents and the news media. 
4. Disregard for legal principles and precedent.
5. Fundraising and payments to lawyers from political action committees. 

And... "When a ruling is adverse, accusations of bias on the part of the judge-often while the litigation is ongoing."

We don't know how you feel about this, but in our not so humble opinion, Judge Middlebrooks has jumped to the head of the line for one of those FACDL great judge awards they hand out every year. 

Here is the order: 




gov.uscourts.flsd.610157.302.0 by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

Thursday, January 19, 2023

NOT SO FINE

 Long time Circuit Court judge Alan Fine is calling it quits in the middle of his term. As reported by the Captain in the previous comments, Fine is leaving the bench and forming his own Alternative Dispute Resolution firm. Tired of answering interrogatories on the condition of the resurfacing of the pool in a homeowner's lawsuit? Then try Alternative Dispute Resolution!  Our team of dedicated and experienced Dispute Resolution Counselors are standing by now! Just call 1-800-I--hate-law. Or something like that. 

We sort of understand Judge Fine's actions. Just how many motions for summary judgement for an unpaid credit card bill can a jurist adjudicate before going a bit batty? 

We also report on some sad news first reported in the comments section as well. Long time REGJB Justice Building Irregular Albert Cartenuto passed away from a sudden heart attack in the Florida Keys at age 63, where he had just started working as an Assistant State Attorney in Monroe County. We knew Albert as a devoted father and tenacious advocate for his client. He died way too young. 


As the Captain noted, Al (pictured on the left) was a long-time and dedicated member of the Biscayne Bay Kiwanis Club doing good deeds and helping humanity. 

There is more to life than law dear readers. More to life than law. 

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

A BLAST FROM THE PAST

 It was 2008 (many of the Judges reading this were in high school) and we had just set the courthouse on fire with a secret, free-wheeling blog, where we knew too much and said too little about who we were. We came across this New Times article from that time period and thought we would share it with our newer readers. 

New Times article Rumpole Ruffles The Courts. 

All these years later, we are still doing our best to ruffle. 

You know what mostly didn't exist in 2008? 

Social Media. At least the term. 

Twitter was an experiment. 

We may be wrong, but no one ever heard of Instagram in 2008. My Space was the rage. 

In 2008, pompous robe wearers were our juiciest targets.  Still are. The only difference was back then their dirty laundry was not blogged about. No body dared say out loud what we wrote. That defendants were excessively punished simply for electing a trial instead of rolling over and fetching at the State's behest. That Broward Judges were rude, mean, nasty, belligerent, and demeaning to lawyers from Dade County. 

No one wrote about the ones who wandered in at 11 and left at 2 pm and berated lawyers for not being ready when they just took up space and swilled cafe con leche while eating pastelitos and avoiding real work. 

Then we came along and changed all that. And we learned somethings along the way. And we were humbled to serve and announce the departures of friends and colleagues, from the REGJB, from work, and from these earthly bounds. People congregated online to wish friends goodbye, or to remember a colleague. It is still the most serious and difficult service we provide. 

Within weeks we were confronted by the type of ethical conundrums that are taught to journalism majors. We had info, scoops, and what obligations did we have to source our stories like Woodward and Bernstein and Ovalle? 

Somethings have changed, but there is not a week that goes by where we are not confronted with an email or pending comment that requires thought and introspection. Mostly we have gotten it right and write. And sometimes we have gotten it wrong, but the difference is we admit our mistakes, unlike ... well if you read the blog, then you know who. 

K

In answer to our question this past weekend about the origins and etymology of the use of K as an abbreviation for the prosecution/state- an alert reader sent us this: 

Anonymous Anonymous said...

K is for King because, back in the old times, the king was the state.
KNP = State nolle prosse. Still in use.
R&R K = Reset and renotify State = Continuance charged to the state.

Monday, January 16, 2023 1:42:00 AM


The best part about the comment is that someone saw fit at 1:42 in the morning to write a response. 




Tuesday, January 17, 2023

THE TIES THAT BOND

 In a nod to Carnac (and none of you 30-40 something Federalist society judges have any idea what we are talking about) : 

A 2022 calendar; a pint of eggnog bought on Christmas eve; and a bond hearing Judge:

Rumpole/Carnac The Great: Name three things that will be useless in 2023. 

Ba dum dum. 

The Scene: Your client has been arrested for passing a worthless check and is being interviewed for a bond hearing:

Bond Paralegal (BP) (holding an iPad and repeating for umpteenth time the same speech) "Hello I am Octavia your bond hearing paralegal. The answers you give will be used to calculate your bond number profile which will determine if, when and how you will be released. I will not ask you anything about your case but anything you tell me may be used against you in court. Do you understand? initial here please. 

Client: This is a mistake. I'm going through a divorce and my ex-wife wrote a check on a bank account I closed. I am a pediatric cardiac surgeon and I have a very difficult case set for later today. I need to be out to operate. 

BP : Please initial here that I advised you of this procedure. Now pursuant to the Florida Privacy and Transgender act, what pronouns do you wish to be addressed with?

Client: Huh? 

BP: I'll just put he/him. Initial here please. 

BP: Do you believe in global warming? 

Client: What does that have to do with bond?
BP: Pursuant to Governor DeSantis Bond release and Republican Judiciary act, people who hold radical beliefs may represent a specific danger to the community. 

Client: Well, yes, the science supports Global Warming. 

BP: Hmm, ok, I'll add four points. Now do you believe all the votes were counted in the last presidential election? 

Client: What does that have to do with a bond?

BP: Pursuant to the Freedom Caucus Truth in Elections Act, your answer may indicate a propensity for liberal beliefs that could be used to identity you as a member of Antifa, a dangerous gang. 

Client: Well, yes, I think all the votes were counted and there was no fraud. 

BP: I see, well, that's an additional five points. This is not going well for you. Last question: What was your annual income last year and do you own a home?

Client: I am the chief pediatric and cardiac surgeon in a local hospital and I make over three million dollars a year. I own my home in Coral Gables and own a vacation home in Vail, Colorado.  

BP: Well, I am sorry to inform you that under the 2023 Florida Bail Reform and Equality Act, you are a person of privilege and a similarly situated person of lesser economic means could not afford the ten thousand dollar bond, as such, so that you are not treated differently as an economically depressed person, you will be denied release today and held twenty-one days until the time of your arraignment so that you can experience what life for an economically disadvantaged person in the criminal justice system feels like.  The Judge will see you in three weeks. Please initial here that you have been so advised of the repercussions for being economically advantaged and arrested. Perhaps in the future you will rethink your work and earning obscene amounts of money that others cannot make. 

Client: But I have a dozen sick children set for operation in the next three weeks. They are all now going to die. 

BP: Perhaps you should have considered that before all that training, education and skill you obtained allowing you to earn the money needed to afford a bond and be a person of privilege.

Also, the air conditioning in the Dade County Jail should help you rethink those ridiculous opinions you have about global warming.  Have a nice day. 


Monday, January 16, 2023

HAPPY KING -ROBERT E LEE DAY

 On September 20, 1958, a 29-year-old Martin Luther King was in Blumstein's department store in Harlem, New York, autographing copies of his book Stride Toward Freedom, about the Montgomery Alabama Bus Boycott. 

Suddenly Izola Ware Curry, a well-dressed 42-year-old woman sprung forward and stabbed King in the chest with a letter opener. Curry was apprehended and aides rushed around King, trying to decide whether to remove the knife or not. One aide tried but gave up after she sliced her hand on the edge of the weapon. It was decided to wait for the doctors at the hospital to remove the knife. The decision likely saved King's life. 

Two surgeons, Dr. Emil Naclerio- an Italian immigrant, and Dr.  John W. V. Cordice, Jr., who was the flight surgeon for the Tuskegee Airmen, took King to the operating room. The surgeons realized the knife was right on King's aorta. Simply pulling it out would slice open his aorta and he would bleed to death, The surgeons removed two of King's ribs in a two-hour operation and removed the weapon that way. 

After the operation, Dr. Naclerio said that if King had coughed or sneezed before the operation, he would have likely died. 

All of this before King really had the chance to affect the County and fight for equality. In in 1958, his "I have a Dream" speech he would give five years later was not even a dream.  

TRUE OR FALSE? 

Two States celebrate King/Lee day and today also celebrate the career of traitor Robert E. Lee. That cannot be right in 2023 can it? 

Of course it can. 

So which two states?  you guess- 

Maine/California

Washinton State/New York

Mississippi/Alabama 

or

Vermont/New Hampshire

Hint- Y'all can guess it right if y'all try hard enough. 

Saturday, January 14, 2023

A WILD WILD CARD WEEKEND

 It's the NFL wild card weekend. And there's lots of breaking news stories. As only we can, we tie it all up for you. 

First up, as exclusively reported on this blog last night by the Captain, Javier Enriquez has been elevated from county court (where he served for about 20 minutes) to circuit court. The 3rd DCA, Fla. Supreme Court, and 11th circuit await. Figure 2024 in the current political environment. No word on an assignment, but Judge Rebull's division remains "vacant" with his foray into civil and the land of motions to compel interrogatory answers and summary judgment extravaganzas. Oh how fun! Isn't this what we all signed up for as lawyers? A summary judgement motion on the negligent instillation of faux Italian tile and the resulting emotional damages it caused a family in Aventura. 

Next up are the startling proliferation of top-secret documents scattered about. The latest discovery- classified documents from the Reagan administration found in the archives and papers of the late, great REGJB Judge "Fast" Gerry Klein, many with handwritten notes "WH CTS K objects".  

Querry- do young ASAs still use the letter "K" to denote the state on their files? And where did that abbreviation first originate? Perhaps some of our REGJB Irregulars could weigh in? 

NFL Wild Card Weekend

Your Miami Dolphins backed into the playoffs when an errant yellow flag was thrown  when a putative horse-collar tackle was called, moving the Fins into FG range against the J..E...T...S... in a 6-3 super exciting barnburner.  Upon further review, the tackle was around the ankles. The call and the FG knocked the Steelers out of the playoffs and sent our Fins to the frigid north. 

The Dolphins head to Buffalo for A Sunday matchup, and let's put it this way- TCU has a better chance to beat the Bills than the Dolphins, who have no QB and a banged-up O line. Take the Bills -109 (actually -14, but they may well score triple digits Sunday).  On the other hand, Dolphins head coach Pee-Wee Herman has asked the Biden administration for an emergency allocation of HARMS missile batteries. If they are delivered in time, then like Ukraine, take the scrappy underdog. If you must bet, take the under 45. loss because we cannot figure out this Dolphins team


First up Saturday at 4:30 is Seattle at San Fran. Some interesting story lines here. Seattle traded their All Pro QB Russell Wilson and settled on Gino's "Pizza" Smith who turned in a more than serviceable performance this year.  San Fran is down - like the Dolphins- to their third string QB- Brock Purdy, who has lit it up (unlike the Fins QB Nancy Pelosi whose mobility has been limited at age 80 plus).  The spread is 10. There are some mumblings that the 49ers cannot stop the deep pass, and Pizza Man is very accurate going deep. But this has all the earmarks of 35-17 San Fran.  Take the over 42. WIN- We are hot- winning all our picks for the last week of the regular season and starting off WCW with a nice double win- SF and over. 

Saturday night sees Rumpole at his fav watering hole watching the Chargers at Jax. Note that San Diego was our pre-season pick to make the super bowl- that is until we saw them play. The Jags second year QB T. Lawrence of Arabia has hit his stride. And don't forget this- the Jags are coached by Doug Pederson. All he has done is take the Eagles to a super bowl win in 2017 with a backup QB.  Didja know....Pederson backed up Dan Marino for the Dolphins when he played?  The Jags are home dogs, getting 2.5. Are you kidding us? A home dog in the playoffs with a top QB and super bowl winning coach? Sign us up. Another WIN albeit a squeaker. We are riding a real heater. Makes up for those Dolphin losses at the end of the season. 

Next up Sunday at 4:30 sees the NY Giants at Minnesota. This is everyone's fav upset. There's more money in Vegas books on the Gints than the Vikes by a wide margin, driving a 7-point line down to 3 and sometimes 2 1/2. What does Rumpole always say? When everyone goes left, you go right. When everyone asks for a continuance, you announce ready for trial. When everyone is betting the Giants, take the Vikes -3. LOSS damn Giants played great. Minny and Kirk Cousins lived up to their reputation of not winning big games. 

And finally, the Ravens play the Bengals for the second week in a row. This happens from time to time in the playoffs, and like a flipping a coin, there is no bias in favor of the losing team winning the next week. Especially when the losing team doesn't have their starting QB (Lamar Jackson is out and may never play for the Ravens again). The Bengals, as they did last year, went on a season ending tear. Everyone is talking about a Bills/Chiefs AFC championship matchup. But the most complete team in the NFL (other than the Texans) may be the Bengals. Cincy -7 at home, and with their eyes fixed firmly on a return trip to the Superbowl where they have some unfinished business.  PUSH 

And finally, there is this- the unrelenting rains in California have unearthed several boxes of classified Bush and Obama administration documents at the San Jose Little Tykes Pre-school. The attorney general has appointed a special investigator. 

Enjoy the long weekend!   


Friday, January 13, 2023

DIS'D AGAIN

 


NOT THE REGJG 

Someone should tell the geniuses at the Florida Bar, Criminal Law section, that on their Instagram Account- floridabarcls- regarding a post on the new bond pyramid (Motto: "The paralegal says NO BOND for you") they are using the picture of the WRONG Miami courthouse.  Unless of course, the civil judges will now be doing bond hearings. 

Judge: "Sir, you missed court on your case, you're late on your interrogratory responses, your new charge carries a twenty thousand dollar bond. How long will you need to file a motion for summary judgment?" 

Assuming that is not the case, then...

Just more disrespect from the rest of Florida for our old gray lady, the REGJB. 

Wednesday, January 11, 2023

ALL THAT GLITTERS

Frank Rubio Funeral Update: 



His funeral service will be held on Thursday, January 12th at St. Martha’s Catholic Church at 10am (9301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami Shores, FL 33138) with his burial to follow. There will be a reception to follow afterwards at the Miami Shores Country Club. 


 All that glitters is not Goldman.  

Goldman Sachs. 

Today was what was dubbed "David's Demolition Day" -referring to Goldman CEO David Solomon and the massive layoffs that have been rumored for months.  At the NYC headquarters, bankers- all  wearing the high end Canada Goose Puffer Coats  ($750 and up at canadagoose.com) - trudged out of the headquarters, their security access cards surrendered, and under the watchful eyes of a newly hired security force. 

Here is what caught our eye- in a cost cutting effort, Goldman Sachs, which made around 30 BILLION in profit in 2022 (that's not gross revenue, but the cream on the top of the coffee) ended free coffee on it's 11th floor employee lounge. Now the Rumpole Firm, which made slightly less than 30 Billion last year, sends out an Instacart order every ten days or so, stocking up on Keurig coffee pods, boxes of tea, and various accoutrements, including digestive biscuits and scones, and even fresh croissants on some days, so employees and visitors alike can partake in a repast when needed. 

So just how much coffee are they consuming at Goldman that they felt a need to end the freebies in the face of falling profits? 


NEW COURT ASSIGNMENTS 

Your favourite judge went where? Who went to civil? Who went to family? And who went to probate? Can't tell the players without a scorecard. So here it is... note there are NO zoom links in the update. 

Double note that we have refrained from our usual smary smart remarks that the listing "VACANT" on the list would normally cause us to engage in. Like for example asking "does that refer to their brain or their soul?" See? We didn't do that. 


2022 Reg Criminal Court Judges Directory by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

Monday, January 09, 2023

WHAT MATTERS TO YOU?

 We spent Sunday morning watching Fox TV- always a dangerous proposition that should be followed with micro-dosing of your favorite psychadellic drug of choice, 

Here is what we learned. The TV commentators on FOX cannot wait until Congress investigates Hunter Biden's laptop.  Is this important to you? What do they think is on the laptop? Why do we care? They keep mentioning the laptop; they mention how vital the investigation into the laptop is to the survival of democracy in 2023. But they never say what they think is on the laptop. Can someone clue us in. 

The border and immigration. FOX is also consumed with the border, which apparently Joe Biden is visiting this week. Here is what FOX viewers believe is occurring at the border every day:  a gang of drug dealers hauling 100 pounds of meth and fentanyl arrives at a border with a baby in tow and are immediately granted compassionate entry into the United States. They bring their grandparents who all get heart transplants for free, displacing Americans who were waiting months for a donor heart. They are all rented luxurious condominiums at taxpayer expense and given high paying jobs that Americans were applying for, along with tax breaks, rifles, and an aggressive LBGTQ ACLU lawyer who assists them for free and gets them bail for all the crimes they commit while in the US.  To the extent Joe Biden and the Democrats are concerned about this, it is only in making sure the ACLU lawyer has enough resources at her disposal to thwart the border agents who are trying to stop the gangs from entering the US. 

Are you as concerned with illegal immigration as FOX is? 

The deficit. During the prior President's administration, the republicans said nothing about the rapid expansion of the deficit and national debt (almost 8 trillion over four years). Indeed they supported a President who bragged that he loved debt. However, they were dead set against increasing the deficit and the national debt when Obama was president and they suddenly have the same fervor with the Biden Administration although this non-partisan tracking site reported the deficit was decreasing YOY. 

Are you worried about the deficit and the national debt. 

And finally, we all know the near tragedy that occurred during the MNF game a week ago. Thankfully Bills safety Demar Hamlin appears on the road to recovery. But the simple fact is that the professional football game has grown more and more violent and dangerous as young men train their bodies to become larger, stronger and faster than anything the human body was designed to do. Crippling knee injuries occur every week, as doctors and trainers have yet to devise a way to protect the knee from the force of collisions and stress. Players becoming paralyzed or nearly paralyzed is also no longer shocking news. Players who retire lose their mental acuity in their late 30s and early 40s because of the repeated hits to their heads which begin in high school or before. Miami's starting QB has had two serious concussions this year and is risking dementia if he continues his career. And now we had a player who got hit and his heart stopped. This was not unexpected because the NFL was prepared for this eventuality. 

Are you concerned about supporting a game that physically and mentally wrecks the lives of the young men who play the game? 

Just more uplifting news events for 2023. Enjoy. 

Sunday, January 08, 2023

FINAL REGULAR SEASON GAME FOOTBALL 2022

 Once again we start off a Sunday in 2023 with sobering news. Longtime criminal defense attorney Frank Rubio has passed away. Frank was a consummate professional, a superb litigator, and the type of lawyer who never failed to great a colleague with a smile. He will be missed and remembered. 

FOOTBALL WEEK 18 2022   

We are done blowing our bankroll on the Dolphins Feh. See Tua and youa in September 2023. 

The Bills still have something to play for, although KC locked up the number one seed and bye week on Saturday night, a win against the Cheaters and the Bills get the #2 seed. Take Buffalo, the emotion of their next game since the near tragedy, and -7 over NE in Buffalo. WIN 

The Steelers also have something to play for a win and they are in IF Buffalo wins and Miami loses to the JETS.  The resurgent Steelers with their rookie Qb who is playing superbly are 2.5 favorites at home over the Browns. Clevland has a troublesome running game, and the Steelers have had issues stopping the run. But they did it last week, and even a late score puts them over the spread which is at least 1 to 2 points lower than it should be. WIN 

The Falcons are a home dog over the Tampa Bradys who are heading to the playoffs with something like a 2-20 record. We love a good home dog, 🐶even this time of year. Atlanta +4.5 at home to recover some of our Fin losses the last five weeks WIN 

We kinda sorta like the NY Giants, at Philly, getting 14. The Eagles need a win to lock up the #1 seed , but they may not be playing their MVP QB. 14 is a lot. We can see the Gints keeping it close and losing by 10 or 7. 


Coming Monday- what matters to you? 

Saturday, January 07, 2023

REQUIEM FOR 2023

 We are going to try a different tack this weekend morning. We know you, our loyal readers, tune in for the relentlessly upbeat coverage of judges and the legal system. No misanthropic sad sack we, our blog posts are uniformly upbeat. We may have some troubles, but we still have the greatest legal system in the world, staffed by dedicated, brilliant, and experienced judges! 

Alas, today we take a different tack. 

Originally entitled Requiem for the Dolphins, we now post about 2023. 😢😢😢

As 2022 ended, what did you think would take more time- a flight from New York to Chicago on Southwest Airlines (motto: "sooner or latter....but usually later"), or the election of a speaker of the house?  At last check, there's still unclaimed luggage in Southwest baggage areas from December 22, and Congressman Kevin McCarthy was elected speaker of the house early Saturday morning after the 132nd vote. In order to secure the last remaining holdouts, McCarthy had to promise to pass no legislation other than bills defunding the EPA, school lunch programs, PBS and NEA.  He also had to agree to immediately resign every time Representative Matt Getz orders pizza from Dominoes. 

The first bills in the 2023 in the 666th session of Congress are 1) The Impeachment of President Joe Biden; 2)The Impeachment of the Cabinet of President Joe Biden; 3) The appointment of Representative George Santos (NY: Liar) as chair of the house ethics committee;  4) The renaming of every airport in the United States the President Donald Trump Airport; 5) The seizure of all private lands in Alaska for oil drilling; 6) and finally a resolution condemning Ukraine for "being recalcitrant". 

Meanwhile, if politics and travel were not enough to completely ruin the end of 2022 and beginning of 2023, we in South Florida witnessed the epic collapse of your Miami Dolphins. 

To recap- The Fins started the season 3-0, including wins over Buffalo and the Cheaters. They then lost three in a row as QB Tua Tungsteensteel was knocked into tomorrow with a series of vicious blows. They then won FIVE IN A ROW and were 8-3 and we used our gambling winnings to book tickets for the Super Bowl on Southwest Air (foreshadowing a disaster of course). They then LOST FIVE IN A ROW and are now a pedestrian 8-8. Due to a series of injuries, Speaker McCarthy will be starting at Quarterback this Sunday, with former Speaker Pelosi subbing as offensive coordinator.  The NY Jets are in town this Sunday, and because they have had their share of QB injuries, Joe Namath has been called out of retirement and will be facing off against the McCarthy led Fins. 

To get to the playoffs, the Dolphins need to win by more than three but less than eleven, McCarthy needs to remain speaker until the end of January, and the Lions, Toronto Maple Leafs, Steelers, Knicks and Heat need their games to end in a tie this weekend. 

And the good news?  The Dolphins are set to fly to their playoff game on....Southwest Air

Welcome 2023. You are off to a roaring start. 


Thursday, January 05, 2023

THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF JURY TRIALS

 As France goes, so goes democracies. 

Thus we were disheartened to read in the Times of London article here that France is doing away with most jury trials for rape cases.  Now five judges will decide the fate of defendants facing a maximum of 15-20 years in rape cases in France. 

This is no surprise. Judges are busy people. They don't have time for niceties of advocacy. See Roy Black's epistle on the lawyer's art of advocacy recounted on Mr. Markus's blog here.

The simple fact of the matter is that no one (except criminal defense attorneys) really believes in the presumption of innocence. The rest of the criminal justice system is like an abattoir in which bodies are fed into the maw of the system, processed by judges and prosecutors- defense attorneys are shoved aside like bothersome flies ("your client better plead now before it gets worse" is pretty much the common refrain)  - and sentences are issued. 

Judges are overly preoccupied with time limits on voire dire, opening, and closing arguments. They need to get to sentencing and clear the case off their docket. 

So now France has taken the first step with jury trials- "off with their heads!".  This is the thin edge of a large wedge. Watch. Bills will be presented in the US for similar "experiments" with streamlining the system. Miami is about to go to a bond system via numeric bond reports calculated by nameless, faceless, high school equivalency bond court assistants who will plug in the crime on arrest (x amount of points), prior record (y amount of points) and calculate the total (over z= no bond). A defense attorneys' advocacy will fall by the wayside of the math. "I understand your argument counsel, but your client scores 99.4, and that means no bond."

For those of you in 2030 perusing old pages of this blog, you can say to yourselves "wow, that guy Rumpole really nailed it. He was ahead of his time."  Then you will enter your client's score on your iPad, submit it to the remote judge, and get the order denying bond a few minutes later. 

Would Judge Sayfie have the courage to find some money for one or two retired judges and set up a "trial court." The state would make a plea offer pre-trial. After trial, the judge could depart downwards or 10% upwards. Give it six months. Non-violent offenses only. See justice in action. Breath some life into the 6th Amendment. It is worth a try. 

We came across this palindrome: 

DOGMA I AM GOD. 

Thought for the day. 


Wednesday, January 04, 2023

COURTHOUSE ICON AARON AABA HAS PASSED AWAY

Prominent bondsman, successful entrepreneur, tastefully ostentatious and everybody’s good buddy,  Aaron Aaba passed away after a long illness, he was 74.


Initially,  Aaron was his stage name since he was born “Manny Chaykin”,  but took the beginning-of-the-alphabet moniker when involved in marketing (usually getting first in line while advertising in the phone book). However, the pseudonym replaced his birth name and he was, absolutely, “Mr. Aaron Aaba”.  


For four decades, the Miami Beach native was a major player in the world of bail bonds especially in the 70’s through the 90’s …and he made boat loads of  money. He was there when Miami was a sleepy little town, during the lucrative Cocaine Cowboy days, a major player during the boom times for criminal law in the crazy 80’s, as well as continuing to run the contemporary Bailbonds.com and BailMiami. His role of being a  “bondsman”  was quite distinguishable from what you might see today since he was just as much there for the lawyers as he was for the client. Writing bonds without collateral, allowing clients to go into a payment plans, substituting his bond and replacing lecherous sureties' bonds trying to rip off a client (that used to be not uncommon) , assembling  Nebbia packages, arranging transportation for the clients and trying his hardest to make the lawyers look as good as possible were all part of his regular “white glove” treatment. I once had two clients with $ 750,000.00 bonds that he was willing to write for deep discounts (when you own your company you can do whatever you want) which means there was a tremendous bond reduction…without a judge having to grant a bond reduction!  His objectives were always to accommodate the client and the defense lawyer.


Aaron was so much more than just a bail bondsman…he was among the most affable and generous persons that I had ever met. If he was friends with you ( or even a mere acquaintance) and he crossed paths with you at an eatery, he’d pick up your tab without any expectations for anything in return…he’d pick up a tab and not even tell the recipients that he just paid for their meal.   When I would go out to lunch with him, if he saw a fellow familiar face at that restaurant, he would always ask the food server to bring him the bill.  In the world of business, whatever he touched turned to gold; real estate, bail offices, beeper stores, window replacement businesses…he invested his money wisely. Perhaps one of his biggest ventures was being a major partner in the establishment and running of the internationally renowned Ultra Music Festival. He was quite charitable and an active participant in the Biscayne Bay Kiwanis Club. 


I originally met Aaron (of course at the courthouse cafeteria), not because of the  bail bond business, but because I was an exercise fanatic and he, being a bit of a portly fellow,  wanted to discuss nutrition and health. And , thus, a wonderful relationship developed. 


Some aspects of the South Florida criminal justice system have dramatically changed, including a bail bondsman acting as a contemporary of the lawyers. Aaron regularly held court in the courthouse cafeterias and socialized all morning long (which was a great networking strategy).  He not only buddied up to the defense bar, he was friendly and trusted by many of the prosecutors, law enforcement and judiciary.


Aaron was an instrumental hallmark in the justice building for well over 40 years and absolutely deserving, if it existed, of a star on a justice building  “walk of fame” . He was a fun loving guy, always with a smile on his face, a big  supporter for anybody’s cause and a trusted and dedicated friend. If there is a heaven, he’ll be there…  dressed in a suit (always with the jacket on), decked out in an over-opulent Rolex, gaudy pinky ring, cruising in a convertible Bentley (with vanity license plate) and inquiring if stone crabs will be served.


May he rest in peace.  

                                                                                        








Tuesday, January 03, 2023

YOUR NEW CLERK

 Chief Judge Sayfie has appointed Luis Montaldo, Esq., the former general counsel for the clerk's office, and oft described as Harvey Ruvin's right hand, as your new clerk. His appointment runs through the expiration of Ruvin's term in January 2025. 

We welcome Mr. Montaldo and alert him to some issues that we would like to be resolved. 

1) The ability to obtain pleadings in PDF format from the docket. The feds do it with CMECF. Most jurisdictions around the country do it. It's time for Miami to join the 2000's and give criminal practitioners the ability to get pleadings from the docket.  FYI Miami is in violation of the Florida Supreme Court edict that all files be digitized. Shhhshhhh... we won't tell if you won't. 

2) Not that it matters to us, but there are still these "paper files" in misdemeanor court, which are the criminal, non-traffic misdemeanor cases. We understand the "retro-craze"- buying music on albums instead of getting it digitized for example. Going to a theater to watch a movie instead of streaming it. Driving a non-electric car. But really, is there a time when criminal misdemeanor cases will be digitized before 2075? 

3) "Abandon hope all ye who enter" should not be the de facto motto of the clerk's office help desks. And yet... time is relative when you go to view a file. Of course, if the files were digitized and available for downloading in PDF format (see #1) then we wouldn't have to stand in line. Neither would anyone else for that matter, including the public.  How about an APP? The Dade County Clerk's App! Go tap your app, get on line, get a file, download it, and voila! You have what you need. 

Now we understand that if lawyers and general public could get what they needed without the help of clerks making us stand in line for a few hours first, it just might make people wonder why we need a clerk's office. But fear not, the clerks can employ an army of scanners, scanning documents, making them available in PDF format, and we would be happy. Think Santa's workshop, but with Cuban Coffee and cafe con leche breaks. 

In any event Mr. Montaldo, you have big shoes to fill, and should you need any help or advice, we are at your beck and call. 

We blog to serve. 


Monday, January 02, 2023

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2023

 Courts are closed Monday January 2, 2023.  But we are working. A Miami legal blogger's work is never done. 

If you are not a long time and careful reader, then you are preparing for a trial that you allowed some apparition in black robes to schedule for you. Sucker. You 1) ruined your holidays by having to prepare for the case; 2) were set up to walk into a buzz-saw of judicial and prosecutorial resolutions to get tough on crime. 

Oh, there's no such thing as a trial tax. No No No. Defendants do not get punished for exercising a constitutional right to have the prosecution prove their case beyond a reasonable doubt. Nope- it's just that little theater the judge and prosecutor innocently engage in as the jury is outside....

Judge: "What's the current plea offer?"

ASA: "Two years' probation. But as soon as that jury walks in, the state is going to seek fifteen years"

Judge (to defendant) : "I don't know anything about the case. But do you understand you can settle your case today for probation, but if convicted- and I have no idea what is going to happen- you face fifteen years?"

That little charade tells you all you need to know about the "so called trial tax" If you're set for trial on Tuesday....shame on you. Those people who sit a few feet higher than you would like nothing more than the word to spread that defendants better not risk a trial in their courtroom. It makes that 4pm spa appointment a little easier to make. 

SOME GOOD SECOND AMENDMENT NEWS 

Meet Mr. Rico Marley.  He took these guns into his local Publix in Atlanta. 


Shockingly he was arrested. Why, we cannot fathom. Just a simple American bringing an arsenal into his supermarket, just like the founders foresaw: 

John Adams: We need a second amendment for guns. 

Thomas Jefferson: Why do we need that?

Adams: Because in the future society will be less agrarian and more centralized in cities and I think those Americans of the future will need to have their right to bring their personal protection into markets which I think, in the future will be called something like "big market" or maybe even "supreme markets" or something like that. 

Having spent ten months in a Georgia jail, the case was dismissed when it became clear to prosecutors that Mr. Marley did not commit a crime under Georgia law. He is currently under indictment in federal court for a misdemeanor of reckless endangerment. 

Elections have consequences and laws have meanings. When legislators run on second amendment "gun rights" for all Americans to have their god given right to carry a gun anywhere they choose, then people should not be shocked when guns are carried into  supreme-markets, hospital delivery rooms, movie theaters, and childrens' playgrounds. People are only doing what the law allows. 

And those mass shootings are all fake anyway? Right? Like Global Warming and fair elections. Fake news. 

Happy New Year- and one last word on that. It is January 2. We will give you today. After today- NO MORE HAPPY NEW YEAR WISHES. No more emails from Dewey Cheetum and Howe and all of their staff wishing us a Happy New Year and by the way did we know that they are now available to handle all your first party insurance storm disaster claims? Should we have such a case to refer, we will never refer it to any law firm that clogs our email in box with insipid holiday email messages. That is so 1999 digital marketing strategy. Grow up and get a snapchat and twitch account will ya? 

Coming this weekend: Requiem for a Dolphins team.