Monday, January 31, 2022

MIAMI BEACH WELCOMES TOURISTS (put away your phones and no videos)

 A little-known codicil to the Faber College constitution suspends the operation of the First Amendment in Miami Beach. 

The City of Miami Beach has criminalized the taking of videos of Miami Beach police officers beating arresting individuals. 

Query: How many City of Miami Beach police officers does it take to break a defendant's nose? 

None. He tripped and fell. Whoops. 😝

Several people have been arrested for taking videos in Miami Beach. All of their cases have been dismissed. Some took six months to dismiss. Some CMB police officers have been arrested for battery for beating individuals they encountered. 

From Ovalle's article: 

Since then, nearly every one of those cases has been quietly dropped. But in one of the few remaining cases, the Florida Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers asked a court to dismiss the case against an Ohio tourist, saying the ordinance unconstitutionally punished the right to free speech. Given the opportunity to defend the law in court, Miami Beach’s city prosecutor last week backed down — simply dropping the case.

Despite that exposure of police brutality which shocked everyone because of the peaceful nature of the City of Miami Beach Police officers (yeah, we couldn't write that with a straight face) the City of Miami Beach has their own thug prosecutor for their City Ordinance violations because the SAO won't prosecute their (warning- technical legal words to follow) ...         bullshit arrests. And the City has affirmed its intention to arrest individuals who record officers interacting with citizens. 

Let's repeat that. In 2022, if Chief Justice John Roberts is strolling down Ocean Drive and sees a few City of Miami Beach police officers beating the crap out of some tourists and decides to record it on his iPhone, he will be arrested. 

The FACDL has sprung into action, challenging the law and writing amicus motions and briefs (literally- "we cannot believe you are so stupid as to argue in support of this") and the Miami Herald covers the contretemps here. Enjoy. 

And remember, when you cross the causeway, don't cross the police by pressing "record". 

Sunday, January 30, 2022


 We posted our picks on Twitter (@justicebuilding) earlier today. 

Cincy +6.5 although we opined that we were not hopeful that the Bengals would win. 

We also picked the Rams -3.5 but we probably will be rooting for the 49ers who remind us of the 2000 Ravens super bowl team that won with a combination of defense, running and special teams. The 49ers are one of these teams that barely qualify as being in the top 5 but find a way to win. 

Interesting fact: The 49'ers are 6-0 against the Rams in their last 6 games. 

For fun we are taking the under 46.5 in the NFC game and the 49ers are +150 which is probably too low. They should be +190 or +200 but it's worth a few hundred for beer money. Remember money lines are odds without points. So a 100 bet returns 150 when the 49ers are +150. 

Saturday, January 29, 2022


 It's cold today in Miami. So there is plenty of time to stay inside and read your favourite blogs. First head over to DOM's blog and check out the short but important guest blog post by Michael Caruso. 

Second, read Martin Niemoller's powerful poem, the famous lines of which are these: 

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—
     Because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—
     Because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
     Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me. 

If you visit the battlefields of Europe and Asia like we have, you would have never thought you would live in an America in which 35% of the voting population worships the nonsensical thoughts of a totalitarian idiot. An idiot who admires dictators and who lives for playing people and races and cultures off of each other. An idiot who became president in one of history's most tragic accidents, and who as president called White Supremacists good people.  Walk the cemetery in Normandy where 9,387 American boys and men lie buried. Most died before they were 21 and all of them gave their lives fighting against White Supremacists. And yet, we had a president who pandered to racists because he was one. 

We live in a country in which 35-40% of people would quickly agree to abolish the First Amendment; would vote to confirm this country as a Christian country; would gleefully agree to the public execution of journalists who report unpopular stories; who believe a cabal of wealthy individuals and government scientists are lying about Covid for their own personal gain; and who can be whipped into a frenzy against simple pandemic solutions like masks and vaccines. Never mind that almost every one of these people came into being in a hospital where doctors and nurses wore masks and where they were given vaccines as children before Fox News existed.  Never mind that although these people claim to reject the Covid vaccine because of their own research, were they to need an appendectomy, they would gladly take the intravenous antibiotic drugs without doing any of their own "research." The same goes for that portion of the population that takes insulin for diabetes without one whit of independent research.  

We live in a County in which the rule of law is being manipulated into the rule of the populist majority. A County where senators refuse to confirm a Supreme Court nominee because of a pending election - a rule that doesn't exist- and then toss that rule away and quickly vote for another Supreme Court nominee right before another election because it suits their political goals. AND NOT ONE OF THEM HAS BEEN VOTED OUT OF OFFICE FOR THIS HYPOCRISY. 

Mark our words. We live in a country in which depending on the outcome of the next Presidential election, "they" may well come for me, and then for you, because there will be no one left to speak up for us. 

Sorry to ruin your Saturday. Go have some hot soup and stay warm. 


Friday, January 28, 2022


 Another edition of Friday Fun Facts: 

We have the "did you knows" about Justice Stephen Breyer. The kind of stuff you will not get on Mr. Markus's blog which concentrates on footnotes and committee history reports. 

Did'ja know that everyone's favourite  President James Earl Carter appointed Breyer to his first spot on the bench for the US Court of Appeals for the First Circuit?

Did'ja know Justice Breyer has no relation to Breyer's ice cream? 

Did'ja know that Senator Edward Moore Kennedy had recommended to President Carter that Archibald Cox be nominated for the open spot on the First Circuit Court of Appeals? 

Did'ja know that Carter nominated Breyer on November 10, 1980,  days after being defeated by Ronald Wilson Reagan for the presidency? (more on this in a moment) 

Did'ja know that prior to being nominated to the US Court of Appeals, Breyer was chief counsel to the Senate Judiciary Committee  (Motto: "Vetting Supreme Court Nominees since 1787 EXCEPT during presidential election years EXCEPT sometimes during presidential election years, depending on who is president"). 

Did'ja know that Breyer was confirmed for the first circuit, after being nominated after President Carter lost, 80-10. 

Did'ja know that Senator Kennedy's nominee- Archibald Cox, shot to fame as the solicitor general of the United States under John Kennedy, and then special prosecutor for the Watergate crimes.  Cox was then fired by Nixon in what was known as The Saturday Night Massacre (not to be confused with the Great Escalator Fire of 2022). 

Did'ja know that Breyer taught at Harvahard Law School, but not Mr. Markus. He specialized in administrative law. 

Did'ja know that President William Jefferson Clinton passed on nominating Breyer for the vacancy created by the retirement of Justice Byron Whizzer White- the only former member of the Pittsburgh Steelers to serve on the Supreme Court. Instead of Breyer, Clinton nominated the Notorious RBG. But when Justice Blackman retired, who to the best of our knowledge, never played in the NFL, Clinton pulled the trigger on Breyer so to speak. Breyer was confirmed by a vote of 87-9. 

Did'ja know Breyer has Second Place as the longest-serving junior justice of the Supreme Court? Breyer served in that capacity from August 3, 1994 to January 30, 2006 when Justice Alito replaced him as the judge who answers the phone, brews the KCup coffees and goes to the door when the court is in conference. Breyer fell short of claiming the top spot by a mere 29 days, which would have entitled him to a junior justice performance bonus of one million dollars had he nailed the record. 

And finally, Did'ja know that Breyer is a Francophile, who taught himself French, and like your faithful blogger, often read Le Monde at work. 

Thursday, January 27, 2022



We have exclusive audio and video footage of what is being called "The Great Escalator Fire of 2022"


The fire is out. The old Gray Lady is still standing. The source of the smoke may have been an escalator. 

The escalators were the best money could buy in 1962. 

The escalators are 1960's technology in a 2020 building. You do the math. 

Here's how it looked on a Zoom hearing this morning:

 There is smoke filling the hallways of the REGJB on Thursday morning. Fire alarms are ringing. Escalators are not working (naturally). 

This is a breaking story which we will update. 

If you are in the REGJB, GET OUT. 

Tuesday, January 25, 2022

 There is a Jury Trial task force Town Meeting on Wednesday at 4pm. 

"When Will I See You Again? " was a great 70's song by The Three Degrees. 

You or your favourite judge might be humming that tune when it comes to jurors. 

Alas, all is not lost. While lo these many months you have been home binge watching RHWMIA or the real housewives of Lubbock, or chess movies, a Jury Trial Task Force has been labouring away trying to bring six or twelve strangers back into your life. 

Here is the flyer for the meeting. Look for Rumpole. We will be in the shadows. 

Town Hall Flyer - Clickable Link by HR on Scribd


  Coming at ya on 610 WIOD it's When Will I See You Again...


Saturday, January 22, 2022


Very quick update: Our Saturday NFL picks are tweeted @justicebuilding

It’s been some interesting times which have brought out the worst... and yet also the best of people.  Before I gripe about things, let me first dole out some compliments. I’m not going to name names simply because I’ll forget many well-deserving ones. Props to a select group of judges, administrators and correctional officers that have kept the system afloat. Many thanks to the Clerks at the 9th-floorth floor attorney window who have seriously upped their game. I've been impressed with many prosecutors and PD’s who have displayed a degree of maturity and professionalism well above their usually young age. Lastly, in these stressful times, Veterans and Drug Court have done an incredible job.

Now, onto the bitchin’

1. Broward County Zoom “Protocol”.  What is going on there? Some courts mandate in person but some forbid it. Try having some uniformity... please...I'm begging you! 

2.  The chat feature on Zoom- If you wear the robe and don’t employ the use of  the chat feature, you should be stripped of your robe and be forced to preside naked. If you randomly call out your friends and don’t follow the order on chat, you should be placed into the “Dutch oven”.  Fairness in court proceedings also includes fairness in the use of Zoom.

3.   COVID- I had the Omicron, it was a little cold where I had to stop working out for three days. There’s a difference between prudence and irrational paranoia.

4.  The Miami-Dade State Attorneys Office- Not always having a switchboard? An inability to call an office with a 1000+ employees? C’mon, get real! Even Broward never shut down their switchboard. And some judges, try growing a pair! A big reason I can’t move a case is because I can’t communicate with an ASA. Why don’t you look at them and their lack of accessibility for a change?!

5.   Resetting arraignments with no explanation?  Hey judges, start ROR-ing out of custody defendants when the situation starts segueing into a statute of limitations issue.

6.   ASA’s not returning calls or emails- You know...you wanted to be a lawyer, now start acting like a lawyer! Don’t go to bed until you return all correspondence, you’re supposed to be a professional. I used to assume that the young ones would rather respond to emails rather than calls, but it seems like many times I am emailing in vain. Here’s some valuable advice…you will never be successful if you do not have regular communications, even with your adversaries.

7.   Age- It is amazing how people with a higher education criticize others over age. Here’s a tip, it’s a privilege to age and it sure beats the alternative. No matter how smart you think you are, experience is the greatest educator.  If raising a family, representing thousands, helping countless amounts of people and developing wonderful relationships is a negative, I’ll gladly wear the moniker. Recently a person said to one of my kids, “Did you grow up one of those rich kids?” The response was “My father studied more, worked harder and cared for our family a lot harder and better than others"  Respect previous accomplishments, hard work and experience, you’re totally irrational if you do not.

8.  Reluctance to continuing cases- Hey judge, during the pandemic, I signed up lots of cases (I do need to make a living) but as we are coming out of the pandemic, I have an extraordinarily high caseload. Give me a break and quit setting the case every three weeks for a sounding. I’m a sole practitioner, I can only do so much. You see your honor, the pandemic may have altered your routine but your pay is still guaranteed. I have never worked harder in my life than in the last two years. It has not been easy to make lemonade out of lemons. The pandemic has been ironically fruitful for many of us in the private sector but I regularly work 12 hour days...sorry, I can't do any  more.  

9.  Staring at your phone at the gym- You will never get into great shape staring at your phone. Try learning about “active rest”.

10.   Death of a music icon- I regret not chiming in on the previous post on the inimitable Ronnie Spector ( predictably,  I was at a music festival in Mexico ). I had met Ronnie before and would regularly attend her annual Christmas shows in NYC at the old B.B. Kings’ music club. Everything was iconic about her;  from the importance of “ Be My, Baby”, her unique voice, influence on so many artists, admiration from music legends and adoption by the 70’s punk rock community. Her record with Joey Ramone, “ She Talks to Angels” where her cover of Johnny Thunders’ “ You can’t put your arms around a memory “ practically eclipsed “ Be My baby” as her signature song,  was wonderful.  Her 60’s bad girl image was the opposite of her real life, she was a real sweetheart. Springsteen, The Beatles, The Stones, Billy Joel, The Ramones , The Raveonettes , Eddie Money… they all idolized her. On several occasions in the late 70's, I was at the legendary Chicago indie record store “Wax Trax” waiting to meet bands like The Talking Heads, Blondie, Bad Brains, B52’s , X, The Clash, The Dictators and Parliament/Funkadelic. Every time these cutting edge bands walked into the store, the first thing they asked was ‘Where are your Ronettes and Shangri Las albums ?” Ronnie Spector was, is and will always be COOL.

May you have good health, be victorious in court and  “kick out the jams mother*&ckers” (that’s a famous quote from a iconic song by 60's rock n' roll revolutionaries, the MC5)  


Friday, January 21, 2022




Nearly fifty years ago on a famous episode of All in the Family* called "Gloria and the Riddle," (Season 3, Episode 4),

To watch the episode, click here

Gloria posed a riddle to Archie, Edith and Meathead.

The setup:

A father and his son are in a car accident. The father dies immediately, but the son gets taken to the hospital for surgery. Once in the operating room, the surgeon takes one look at the boy and says: "I can’t operate on him. He’s my son."

The riddle: Who is the surgeon?

The answer might be obvious to us now, but on All in the Family most of the characters – particularly the men – had trouble figuring out that the surgeon was actually the boy’s mother.

Fast forward to 2022, and this week, Fourth DCA Judge Martha Warner made news with her Dissent in J.S. v. Department of Children and Families, and Guardian Ad Litem. 4D21-1923. (Credit: Daily Business Review).

The opinion centered around an attorney who had used the wrong pronoun when referencing one of Warner’s dissents in a motion for rehearing, calling her a “he” instead of a “she.” In her Dissent, Warner stated that it “reveals the tenacious grip that the male image has in the legal profession to the detriment of women who have joined the profession in droves since I began practicing 48 years ago.

The Motion filed by attorney Thomas Butler stated: “Warner, J. opined he would hold that § 39.806(1)(f) is unconstitutional … ,” according to the dissent, which said “he” was repeated twice and was therefore unlikely to be a typo.

It still is an issue that women are mistaken for court reporters or paralegals by both judges and lawyers,” Warner wrote. “No man would suffer that same misidentification, which relegates the woman to a less important role.” Werner went on to say: “We all need to be cognizant and remove from our thinking the male-centric image of lawyers and judges. It is not hard, but it requires raising one’s consciousness of the issue. ...  “And it is somewhat of a surprise that it has persisted for so long. After all, the iconic figure holding the scales of justice is a lady.”

The Captain admits that he is a male and that he has therefore never experienced this problem as related to by Judge Warner; (we can all relate to being home-towned when us Mia-mah lawyers cross North of the Border into Broweird and other courts further to the North.

The DBR story went on to quote other female lawyers who have regularly been mistaken as "court reporters, administrative staff, or any other role in legal proceedings other than licensed advocates [which] is pervasive in legal culture to this day."

But we wanted to ask our female barristers about their experiences as described by Judge Warner. Please share your thoughts ... and experiences. 

*All in the Family was a comedy TV show that ran from 1971-1979 and is still ranked to this day as one of the top ten TV Sitcoms of all time. (IMBD #4; Rolling Stone #5).


Tuesday, January 18, 2022



DOM's blog has an order by Judge Scola, the meat of which says this: 




He said what needed to be said. 

Here is the order, courtesy of DOM

21845320-0--16849 by David Oscar Markus

Memo to Judge Scola: The Florida Supreme Court does NOT believe the Court and members of the legal profession have an obligation to protect all those who enter the courthouse, or it would mandate masks and give judges the power to require everyone who enters a courtroom to wear a mask. The Florida Supreme Court does believe that it has an obligation to protect the general public from seeing a male attorney in court in August without a full coat and tie, but otherwise, it does not recognize any other obligation to the general public. 

Thank you for speaking up where others remain deathly silent (pun intended). 




Elections for Judge in Miami-Dade County take place on August 23, 2022.  The Qualifying period runs one week, from April 25-29, 2022.  Currently there are a total of 23 Groups up for election in Circuit Court and another 14 in County Court.

In Circuit Court, all 23 Incumbents have already filed in their respective Groups. One Incumbent, Mark Blumstein, has drawn a challenger. Blumstein is being challenged by attorney Ariel Rodriguez, a 23 year member of The Florida Bar. Rodriguez currently is employed at the U.S. Dept. Of Justice in the Office of U.S. Trustee.

In County Court, 12 Incumbents have already filed in their Groups. Judge Edward Newman, in Group 7, is retiring. One attorney, Marcus Bach Armas, has filed in that Group. He has yet to draw an opponent, and Mr. Bach Armas is doing everything he can to dissuade anyone from filing against him as he has already raised $113,000 and loaned his campaign another $41,000.

The 14th Group in County Court, Group 5, is a seat currently held by Judge Fred Seraphin. Judge Seraphin is the only Incumbent who has not yet filed for re-election. We emailed Judge Seraphin last week and asked him for any updates on his future as a judge. He has yet to respond.  

Finally, two Incumbent County Court Judges have opponents. Judge Scott Janowitz, in Group 42, is being challenged by attorney Alicia Garcia Priovolos, an ASA in Miami-Dade County for the past 16 years. Also, Judge Jeffrey Kolokoff, in Group 19, woke up on Friday last week to the news that he had an opponent. Filing against Kolokoff is attorney Lissette de la Rosa, a member of The Florida Bar for 20 years.  One big difference between Incumbents Kolokoff and Janowitz.  Judge Kolokoff has already accumulated $55,925 in his war chest and seemed to be ready in case he drew an opponent. Contrast that with Judge Janowitz. He has only raised $2,550 (and $2,000 of that comes from the Janowitz family).

Here is your current line-up for the judicial races.


Group  3        Lody Jean

Group  4        Christina Marie DiRaimondo  

Group  6        Laura Shearon Cruz

Group  9        Marcia del Rey

Group  10 Scott M Bernstein

Group  12 Bertila Ana Soto

Group  16 Tom "Tomas" Rebull

Group  20 Robert T. Watson

Group  26 William I. Altfield

Group  28 Jennifer D. Bailey

Group  32 Barbara Areces

Group  34 Mark Blumstein

Group  39 David H Young

Group  40 William Thomas

Group  41 Milton "Milt" Hirsch

Group  45 Samantha Ruiz Cohen

Group  46 Ramiro C. Areces

Group  52 Oscar Rodriguez-Fonts

Group  59 Nushin G. Sayfie

Group  62 Gina Beovides

Group  63 Marlene A. Fernandez-Karavetsos

Group  64 Zachary N. James

Group  74 George "Jorge" A. Sarduy


Group 03        Ayana Harris  

Group 07        Marcus R. Bach Armas 

Group 08        Carlos H. Gamez 

Group 11        Michaelle Gonzalez-Paulson 

Group 13        Elisabeth Espinosa 

Group 15        Linda Melendez 

Group 19        Jeffrey M. Kolokoff 
        Lissette De La Rosa 

Group 23        Carroll Kelly 

Group 27        Miesha Shonta Darrough 

Group 28        Cristina Rivera Correa 

Group 35        Chiaka Ihekwaba 

Group 37        Diana Vizcaino 

Group 39        Julie Harris Nelson 

Group 42        Scott Janowitz 
        Alicia Garcia Priovolos

We will be following the judicial elections for the Blog over the next seven months and reporting to you with updates. If you have any juicy information you would like to share, please email us at the email address listed below.


Monday, January 17, 2022


 Ronnie Spector died this past week, and we would be remiss if we did not remember the absolute coolest and most beautiful and talented woman to walk the planet. 

She came from the 1960's, an alien planet to you Judges and readers born in the 1980s or beyond. She defined cool and hip and was supremely talented and rose above the crazy and abusive but musical genius of a husband -Phil Spector- who around Ronnie, built his "wall of sound". 

This clip is from the 1960s. When teenagers gathered in places to watch music being performed and screamed in ecstasy because, unlike these days, there was very little outlet back then for the pure joy and ecstasy a totally different musical sound can inspire. 

From 1966 performing on The Big TNT Show, its Ronnie Spector and the Ronettes: 


Saturday, January 15, 2022


UPDATE: 2 OF 3 PICKS HIT ON SATURDAY. Considering we hit 100% on week 18, we are on, what is commonly known as "a roll". Better hop on. 

 This is one of our favourite three-day weekends of the year.  We are recovering from the end of the holidays and the stress of the new year. A three-day weekend is just the ticket. And the NFL has a slew of games to help with the consumption of pizza, chicken wings and beer. 

WIN First up is Raiders at Bengals Saturday at 430 pm. These Raiders are fun to watch. Maxx Crosby on defense is a beast, second only to the Steelers TJ Watt this year. Derrick Carr has won some close games, and the team overcame some disastrous coaching problems as well as the tragedy of a WR getting involved in a DUI homicide. And yet, they made the playoffs. That's the good news. The bad news is that they are running into the hottest team in the playoffs- the previously downtrodden Cincinnati Bungles. These Bengals are no Bungles. They have arguably the QB (Joe Burrows) who had the best season, throwing to a number five pick at WR (Ja'Mar Chase) who is going to be the offensive rookie of the year. We are rooting for the Raiders, but it's midnight for Cinderella. Bengals -5.5 seems like a lock. Also over 48.5. (loss)

WIN. NOT EVEN CLOSE. WHAT DID WE TELL YOU? YOU SHOULD HAVE BET THE MORTGAGE AND KIDS EDUCATION ON THIS ONE. Next up is a game we are going to really enjoy. Saturday at 8:15 the New England Cheaters travel to Buffalo to get their heads handed to them by the Bills.  Take every available penny and put it on the Bills -4 at home over the evil genius. 

Sunday at 1pm the Eagles go to Tampa and take on the defending Champion Bradys. The bloom is sort of off the rose for Tampa courtesy of Antonio Brown who continually punked the Bucs head coach until he was forced to fire him which created the very best ever "I'm outta here" scene, and caused us, who had AB in our FF league playoffs to scream at the TV "where the F are you going???".  This is weird to say about a team that made the playoffs, but the Eagles had a disappointing year.  They should have been a higher seed. 8.5 is a lot, but we are going to hold our noses and lay the points on what we think is a ten-point Brady win. 

Sunday at 430 is 49ers at Cowboys. This is not your father's 49'ers Cowboys matchup of the late 1980s. Your Cowpokes were an astounding 10-3 against the spread this year, the best in the NFL. If Dak gets hot, this game is a blowout. Jimmy G is 7-0 in games he doesn't throw an INT. So watch the game and if he throws a pick early, bet the Cowboys for the second half. We do not love this pick, but Dallas is at home, and we are taking them -3. 

Sunday at 830 is your other Cinderella team, the Pittsburgh Steelers at KC. Going into week 18 the Steelers had a 4.5% chance of making the playoffs, and yet, here they are, playing a team that blew them out a few weeks ago. Mike Tomlin and his crew are good, but not that good. Like the Raiders, we will be rooting for Pittsburgh. The issue for the point spread is that Ben gets hot in the fourth quarter. The Chiefs are a 188,000 point favourite (actually 13 and the line has moved from 11 to 13), but we see a back door cover as Ben makes it close in the fourth quarter. Want to buy that new Tesla? Parlay the Raiders and Steelers money line for a win by both. Steelers +13. 

Monday night is another great game- Cardinals at Rams. We are on the Cardinals bandwagon. Like Cinncy and Buffalo they are a team to fear if they get hot. We have never liked Rams QB Matt Stafford. He's just one of these guys that don't seem to be able to win the big game, as he showed last week against the 49'ers. We are going to eschew the 4 points and take the Cardinals money line to win right out +170 (so for a hundred-dollar bet, if the Cardinals win, we get 170). 

Coming Sunday, a whole lot of trials in sedition arrests and protestors. Our take. 

Wednesday, January 12, 2022


 What makes a federal blogger and top criminal defense attorney go "woo-hoo?"

The appointment of a new federal magistrate naturally. 

Go here to see the exclamation and excitement over your new federal magistrate Melissa Damian being sworn in (" I do solemnly swear to faithfully uphold the constitution of the United States and grant all government motions for pre-trial detention, so help me whomever..."). 

And if you care, there's also an update on a new CARES Act order by the CJ which basically says out of custody clients can use Zoom (or Hulu). 


In case you have an uncontrollable urge to litigate a disorderly conduct with an undersized snook case, here are the zoom addresses for your favourite County Court Judges: 

Virtual Courtroom Directory County Criminal by HR on Scribd

Tuesday, January 11, 2022


 This is what is on our mind, in no particular order of relevance:

Empires end. Nothing is forever, except apparently the Universe, and a McDonald's double cheeseburger. 

Physical entities experience entropy, and there is nothing that requires the United States to remain a Union of United States. 

We are a country split, about 55/45, in which the 45 are becoming more vocal about not operating as a minority in a democracy. It appears that were our Country to go to war, the 45 would actively work against the Country, their hatred for the 55 such that they would rather lose to a foreign enemy than see the 55 succeed.  The days of George Herbert Walker Bush, Tip O'Neil, Bob Dole, and the like putting country first are mostly gone. 

We fear for the survival of our country. 

Speaking of Infamy, 

The Dolphins fired their head coach who 1- had a winning season; - Swept the Cheaters and their evil genius head coach; 3- destroyed the Baltimore Ravens on national TV when the Ravens were at full strength and one of the best teams in the league; and 4) had them in playoff contention through week 17. 

Mark our words that Biran Flores will win a Super Bowl before the Miami Dolphins franchise. 

A Law Degree Is Useful for Many Things:

Apparently on network television, which we have not regularly watched since St. Elsewhere [hint- our blog has a hidden St. Elsewhere reference can you find it? Only one careful and long-time blog reader has]- there are television shows similar to The Dating Game where eligible people meet and mingle. There is now one called Joe Millionaire and this young woman has postponed a legal career to go on dates on television. 

Querry: Under current PC rules, is there anything we could write about the physical appearance of any contestant on any dating TV show? Without regard to the current individual, if we- or any blog or commentator called any contestant on a dating show pretty, or a hottie, or handsome, or sexy, would we automatically be branded sexists and an immoral appearance commentator? Is there any comment any public figure can make about any other public figure? Could we for example these days call Bridget Bardot sexy? Or would we be banned from social media? 

It's a weird new world, and we do not always understand the rules. 

Monday, January 10, 2022


 We won ALL of our bets yesterday that we publicly posted publicly Raiders +2.5; Steeler/Ravens Under 42.5; Jets +16.5; and  Jags +15.5. No other tout publicly post their picks and has the record we have. We don't just have a talent for trying cases. 

We also WON our FF championship game, 155-108 against De La Fins. It was a little skill and a lot of luck and we will take being lucky over being good any day of the week. It's why we play the lottery.  We are the first TWO TIME REGJB FF LEAGUE CHAMPION. That and eleven bucks gets us a Latte and a muffin at Starbucks. 

If you stayed up and watched the last game of the 2021 regular season you saw Game Theory and Prisoner's Dilemma at work. The game went to overtime naturally. In OT both teams scored a FG, and with less than two minutes less, with the game tied, the Raiders had the ball at midfield. If the game ends in a tie, BOTH the Raiders and the Chargers make the playoffs. But neither team could communicate their intentions. The best result was a cooperative strategy, but neither team could afford to cooperate for the tie, because if the other team did not cooperate, the cooperative team would lose. 

We (as criminal defense attorneys, not us personally) face this situation all the time in co-defendant cases. If both clients remain silent and proceed to trial they can often do better than if both plead guilty. But with the advent and imposition of minimum mandatory penalties in state court, and the general trial tax in federal court, the prosecutors and judges have managed to tilt the playing field, jeopardizing the Sixth Amendment right to trial, and rewarding the first in the door to surrender.

There are mathematical solutions to this formula. However, while they apply in investment and business decisions, it is harder to apply them to individual cases and clients where individual lives are at stake. 

For now, if you listened to our tried and true advice and avoided setting cases for trial in the first two weeks of January- made easier by the Omicron unofficial ban (it has to be unofficial because the Florida Supreme Court, locked behind large wooden and hermetically sealed doors in Tallahassee cannot understand why fifty or sixty people would have an issue showing up in a small and windowless room for a jury selection)- then you are set up to try a whole bunch of cases between February (when Omicron hopefully has burned itself out) and the Memorial Day -July Fourth start of summer vacations. 

Until then, stay safe, wear your mask, and bet as much as you can afford on our playoff picks. We are on a roll.  

Sunday, January 09, 2022


UPDATE: Your first repeat champion in the world famous REGJB Fantasy Football League is none other than....drum roll please....RUMPOLE! Another stellar performance by WR Cooper Kupp (26.60) and TE Tyler Higbee (23.50) allowed us to survive De La Fins Brady (36 to our Josh Allen's 29 at QB).  Our late-season pickup at RB Rashad Penny (28, mostly in the fourth quarter) allowed us to prevail and become a two-time champion 138-104 at the time of this writing. Congrats to regular season best record Born Tua Be Wild (13-2), and championship runner-up De La Fins. We were lucky, pure and simple. It's good to be good. It's better to be lucky and we will take the luck and the win. 

Welcome to the very first NFL regular season week 18! The NFL expanded the season this year. The Dolphins are O..U...T out of the playoffs. They play a mostly meaningless game today against the NE Cheaters to close out the season. In our opinion, this will be their last meaningless end-of-season game for a while. This is a team headed in the right direction. 

Another team playing a totally meaningless game is the Tampa Bay Bradys. They are headed to playoffs and with a fifty-something QB, we are calling on coach Bruce Arians to SIT BRADY! 

Our Opponent today in the REGJB Fantasy Football championship game, De La Fins is grimacing, as his hopes rest on the arms of the aging and aching QB12. If he sits or takes it easy, we win. This has been our most challenging and satisfying FF season. We blew the draft, picking in the first round at six Giants Running Back Barkley who has done nada. We backed into the playoffs with a losing record, and yet here we are. Win or lose, it's been fun. 

PRISONER'S DILEMMA is a game theory analysis we have written about before. It applies not just to the work all of us do in criminal law, but to many decisions made in the real world. The setup for the dilemma is - imagine two people arrested for a crime and in separate interview rooms.  One is being beaten by the City of Miami/Hialeah detective, the other is being crammed with coffee and McDonalds and cake and cookies by the Miami Dade Detective. Woops! Wrong scenario. We will get to that one another time. 

Both prisoners A & B are in separate rooms; they cannot communicate what they have decided to do. 

1) If both remain loyal and don't speak, they will each get two years on a lesser charge; 

2) If A speaks but B is loyal, A goes free, B gets eight years- and vice-a-versa. 

3) If both A & B rat each other out, they each get five years. 

Options two and three where the prisoner makes the individual decision to speak are in the best interests of the individual, wherein they can employ the game theory "mini-max" strategy-  by speaking they minimize or in this case exclude the worst possibility (8 years). However, by speaking they exclude their chance for the best cooperative strategy- two years, but they maximize their chance to obtain the best non-cooperative outcome- case dismissed. 

Today, the Raiders are playing the LA Chargers in a 4pm game. IF the Steelers (who have a tie this year) win AND the Jags upset the Colts, the the following rules apply to the Raiders/Chargers game: 

1) If they both agree to not try and play for a 0-0 tie, they both make the playoffs; 

2) If one tries for a tie but is ambushed at the last moment by the other team, then the team that scores goes to the playoffs and the other team goes home; 

3) If both try to win, then only one makes the playoffs. 

As Commander Spock would say- "Fascinating". 

We highly recommend game theory as a course of study for many areas of life, not the least of which is investment decisions. Understanding the "Nash Equilibrium" is central to the concept of making Game Theory work for you. 


We like the Raiders as a home dog at their new magnificent stadium (where we have seen a game this year) to not tie and to beat the Chargers +2.5.

Steelers/Ravens under 42.5. Big Ben's last game (unless the Colts are upset by the Jags). A great player who probably left at least two super bowl championships on the table, but a sure first ballot hall of famer who never got the credit he was due. At his best, he was head and shoulders above his contemporaries like Eli Manning and Phillip Rivers. He and the Steelers could just never beat Brady and the Cheaters when it mattered. 

Speaking of Colts at Jags, let's have some fun and put fifty on the Jags +15.5. That's a big line. 

J...E..T..S Jets Jets Jets! at Bills. We like Gang Green +16.5. We need Bills QB Allen as much as De La Fins needs Brady,  as Allen is our FF QB today. The Bills need this game to secure a first-round home game. But a ten- or twelve-point win seems a likely outcome here. 

It has been another fun NFL season, providing the kind of distraction that sports often provides, and we so need in these Covid times. For the many of you who play every year in our world-famous survivor pool, thank you for your participation.  We wish our blog friend Judge De La O the best of luck today in our fantasy football showdown. He plays every year, recruits players (not by ordering his young PDs or ASAs to signup) and this year ran the league as co-commissioner and made every decision and set the rules and made the trains run on time as is his wont. Thank you. 

Our Super Bowl Pick? 

A couple of teams could get hot and go on a run. Green Bay is the favourite. But if there is an Arizona Cardinals / Buffalo Bills Super Bowl, you heard it here first. 

Thursday, January 06, 2022


Without our usual snarkiness,  here is Judge Sayfie on what Omicron means for the immediate future:

Good morning, All.  While 2022 is not starting out as we expected I hope that it finds you all healthy and well so far.


As you all know Omicron is tearing through the country and in Miami we are ahead of the curve, as usual.  The positivity rate as of yesterday is 35% and it is still rising.  At our latest COVID task force meeting yesterday afternoon, all 3 of our doctors were present and gave us the medical update which continues to be serious.  While this variant is milder, hospitalizations are still high and rising.  Over 80% of hospitalizations are unvaccinated individuals.  The remaining are overwhelmingly transplant recipients.  Patients in hospitals cannot receive visitors.  The education and mental health of school aged children are deteriorating.  Many businesses cannot operate because of staffing shortages.  The ripple effect of this disease continues to be far reaching. 


The doctors all concur that everyone should be vaccinated and boosted.  In addition to protecting yourself, you will protect those you come into contact with, and vaccination continues to be the path out of the pandemic.  They further stated that we should avoid jury trials for at least the next 2 weeks.  I will be checking in with them every few days so that we can have accurate information.  But for now they concur that it would be impossible to manage a jury trial without an infection…aka a mistrial. They recommend N95 or KN95 masks for any and all indoor activities.  If any of you would like to speak directly with one of our medical experts yourself please let me know and I will facilitate.


Added to this is the fact that the Clerk’s Office and Miami-Dade Corrections have been ravaged by Omicron.  In our own AOC family we have many divisions and departments that have 100% positivity among their members. This is not including people who were out for the holidays and may not have reported an infection. So I ask that you continue to consider the COC and MDCR, as well as our other justice partners, as you set your hearings and trials, both in person and virtual.


I know you all join me in my frustration.  It was my plan to greet you this week with a welcome back to largely in person practices.  But we are not there yet.


I urge you all to take this time to do what you did so well in 2021: case management.   Many of you have been successful at resolving your cases and lowering your caseloads in spite of the challenges.  Please keep it up.


The good news about Omicron is it will likely leave us faster than Delta did.  So we are hoping and praying that by the end of this month the numbers will be falling and falling rapidly.  Until then, please be safe.  And if you have a trial that you think needs to go forward (i.e. speedy trial expiration) please let your Administrative Judge know ASAP.


Thank you so much for your flexibility and resilience.  Please feel free to call me if you would like to discuss this further.


Nushin G. Sayfie, Circuit Court Judge

Chief Judge of the 11th Judicial Circuit of Florida

175 NW 1st Avenue, Suite 3045

Miami, FL  33128

(305) 349-5720




 The first week of January is chock full of historical days. 

On January 3 for example, the curse of the Bambino began in 1920 when the Red Sox sold Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees for $100,000.00. On that same day, every Judge in County court can tell you that in 1932 Oliver Wendell Holmes presided over his last oral argument in the Supreme Court. One of the advocates before him that day? None other than Earl Warren, who was conducting his first oral argument before the high court, and went on to become Governor of California, potential Republican Presidential nominee, and Chief Justice of Hialeah Branch Court the Supreme Court. 

On January 5, 1971, former heavyweight Champion Sonny Liston died. 

On January 6, George Herbert Walker Bush, back from being the youngest US fighter pilot in the Pacific, married his wife Barbara. And in 1919, TR- Theodore Roosevelt, died peacefully in his sleep at home. 

And of course on January 7, 1943, in room 3327 at the New Yorker Hotel, Nikola Tesla, age 87, who had NOTHING to do with electric cars, died. 

Which brings us to January 6, 2021, when a mob incited by the president at the time, stormed the Capital chanting "Hang Mike Pence" while Pence's boss called them "beautiful people" and told them that he loved them. 

But that brings us to this, which is how we would defend any of the people charged with crimes relating to January 6: 

The Declaration of Independence, says this: 

"That when any form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new Government ...But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty to throw off such Government..."

In other words, Americans have the right and duty to overthrow their government under certain conditions. 

And who is to say what those conditions are that constitute "absolute despotism"? 

Our point being that while we do not support the former president and believe he was involved in a cabal to subvert an election that he lost, people who stormed the Capital did so under the real and mistaken belief that their government was engaged in a design to reduce them to rule under a despot. 

We would gladly defend the Capital rioters under the Declaration of Independence defense because we must never forget that we are a country that was founded through armed defiance of a foreign despot and that our freedoms were won by farmers and millers and smiths who united to defeat the strongest army on earth. 

There are no easy answers to the question of what happened on January 6, 2021. 

PS: Save your breath on emailing us in outrage that the Declaration of Independence also says "Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed." 

We've read the document. More than once. Indeed, we can quote it from memory. 

Wednesday, January 05, 2022


 FDC is open for legal visits.  Wine Cheese and Masks are available for purchase through the vending machines. 

The Miami Dade Clerk's office (Motto: "Using Yesterday's Technology Today") * Calendar Function (whatever that is) is now working, causing millions to breathe a sigh of relief. The Dow went up a 100 on the news. 

And Omicron is still making everyone sick. 

In other words, an old military acronym is applicable: Situation Normal All F'd Up. SNAFU

QUERY: In a time of a pandemic, do you think it is appropriate to file a speedy trial demand for your client? WE DO NOT. 

Now before you write us nasty emails, there are legitimate exceptions, especially for incarcerated clients who are overcharged and will prevail at trial.  But to the extent smarmy defense attorneys who never try cases (you know who you are) who think they are being smart by filing speedy demands, we vehemently disagree. All you are doing is dragging our end of the profession down to the civil lawyer's status (sorry guys), and no one wants that. 

Yes, for you prosecutors who read the blog and fume at our cheap shots, we are on your side on this one. Now how about offering some reasonable pleas because this new wave has once again shut things down? 

* Good writers borrow but never steal. A wit sharper than ours came up with that saying for the Clerk's Office and we have permission to use it. 

Tuesday, January 04, 2022


UPDATE: FDC OPEN FOR LEGAL VISITS...so they say. Let us know. It's a promise from a government agency, which, along with eight bucks, gets you a coffee at Starbucks.  

BREAKING.... Tuesday Afternoon: 

FDC is shut down. All visitation canceled. All inmates will be kept in their cells. 

We don't have much more information but hazarding an educated guess, it just might have something to do with COVID. 


 The new year is not off to a good start. The Dade County Clerk's Office, whose technology is known far and wide as a leader in the industry, has been experiencing intermittent outages including, now, the all-important calendar search. 

What does this mean for you? 

You cannot go on the clerk's website and achieve all that you wanted. 

Now, mop up the coffee that you spit out after you read about the cutting-edge technology of our clerk's office, and let's get down to brass tacks, which by the way, is one way the clerk's secures files- with brass tacks. 

First, in County Court, the criminal files are still ...(cue ominous music) PAPER FILES!

Often is the time a newly minted ASA or PD comes bounding into court with their Starbucks and iPad, monitoring their Tinder on their phone, while carrying on a dozen text conversations at once, and stop cold and see something they are not familiar with.

"Wha..wha...what are those?" they point in amazement, seeing actual paper files on a Clerk's desk. 

It's been, what? More than 15 years since traffic files went digital. 

Of course, this is all part of the training because by the time they get to felonies, all the files are hard paper files. 

They inform their big-law colleagues (via text) of the wonders of the REGJB: "Dude, you know what I saw today? An f'ing typewriter!  And someone was using it to write on a paper and guess what? I got to hit a key! It was like uncovering a dinosaur bone in Utah."

The good news is that in the absence of a fully functioning website, which until recently, the Clerks required a Compuserve account to use (if you don't know, don't ask), you can go to the clerk's office or call them. 

If you go to the clerk's office, bring the following: a twenty dollar roll of quarters, two books, a thermos of coffee, a subway sub, some snacks, and you will be efficiently handled in several hours. 

If you call, here's the code:

"Good morning and welcome to the Dade County clerk's office. For Spanish press Uno, for Creole press Un, for German press Ein. For the Probate office just die...ha ha ha...just kidding, press 11 then star then pound then 100 and [click]"

Yes you will be disconnected. 

The simple fact is that not even the National Security Agency can get the documents they need from the Dade Clerk's Office (motto "Proudly providing you 1977 court files on floppy disks.").

"Good morning Mr. President. We have the latest translations of conversations on Putin's phone for you to review."

Biden: "Did you get that Grand Theft file from the Clerk's Office in Miami?"

NSA Briefer: "No sir. It's proving more difficult than we expected. We do have the videos from the latest meetings of the council in Iran and some from their secret nuclear weapons lab."

2022 is going to be a long year dear readers. 

Monday, January 03, 2022


 If you are a long-time reader of The Blog, then you know our number one hard and fast rule is 


The corollary of the rule is to avoid trials in January, especially the first two weeks of January. 

The reason is simple. Judges and Prosecutors have spent their time off in December fulminating about the prior year, angry about the increase in their audits/caseloads, and after as much introspection as they are capable of between the holiday soirees with free shrimp and booze, they come to the conclusion that they were too lenient in the prior year!  Crafty defense attorneys took advantage of their generosity and by gawd that is going to end!  The way to solve their problem is not to work harder. That thought never enters their mind clouded by shrimp rolls and anger.  No, the way to solve the problem is to rocket a few defendants in the first few weeks of January so that the word goes out- "Better plea that case with Judge so and so. Did you see what they did last week?"

This year it might be easier to avoid those early January trials. Omnicon has put a damper on the desire for trials. But consider this- the only jurors who will show up are those who do not care about masks and vaccinations because they think the whole pandemic thing is a Bill Gates/Dr. Fauci conspiracy. And while your client who is charged with storming a government agency might catch a break, the average REGJB client on an armed robbery rap will probably will not fare as well unless s/he was wearing a MAGA hat when s/he committed the crime. 

There is another reason why the first Monday in January sucks. All those clients and lawyers who have taken time off in December return, and our text and whats app and email inbox is flooded with "Hey- what's going on with my case?"

Beyond dealing with prosecutors and judges and their New Year's resolutions, opposing counsel and clients also have their own resolutions, many of which involve more texting and emails and general harassment of us. 

Which is why, being the experienced lawyer we are, that even when we are not away the first week of January, our email inbox has an auto "I'm on vacation until January 10, 2022"  response. 

Therefore, while we will carefully select our responses, for the most part, if you're looking for Rumpole you will have to wait a week. 


We won our semifinal match, sending the 13-2 mighty Born Tua Be Wild team to an ignominious defeat, mostly on our last-minute brilliant pickup of Seattle RB Rashad Penny who gave us a blow-out the doors 35.50 points (rather than the measly 11 that Giants RB Barkley -our awful first-round pick- got). Our pickup was the difference as we beat Tua 131-119 and we still have a RB in tonight's game. Without Penny we would be at 111 points and still looking good with our second RB playing tonight. But now we do not need to worry. 

In the other matchup, number 4 seed De La Fins is about to upset number 2 Norwood's Revenge. De la Fins has a commanding 155.20-111.18 lead heading into MNF. Norwood has RB Chubb, but even if he puts up Rashad Penny-like numbers, it will not be enough. 

Which means that next week, your scrappy underdog blogger will be playing the mighty De La Fins for championship bragging rights! 

Sunday, January 02, 2022

NFL WEEK 17 2021

 For the first time in 17 weeks Clay Kaeiser, our 2021 REGJB Survivor Pool champion did not wake up on a Sunday morning and pick a winning football team. Once again, it was a remarkably well-played season. 

Today, we will not be putting real money on games because of the Covid uncertainty of which players are playing. This is easier said than done since we are writing this from a suite at the Encore in Vegas (On New Years Eve). 

Of more interest to us is our epic battle with the Number One Team in the REGJB Fantasy Football league- the mighty Born Tua Be Wild, which, before today, tasted defeat only twice this season. We admittedly backed into the playoffs in the last slot, losing two of our last three. And yet...if we can decide whether or not to play Antonio Brown today, it may make the difference between an epic upset, and a season-ending loss in the semi-finals of our league.  In the other game, the evenly matched De La Fins play Norwood's Revenge, The winner of these two games will face off in the hallowed REGJB Fantasy Football league championship next week. 

UPDATE:  After getting 6.5 FF points, Brown had a meltdown in the 3rd quarter, ripped off his jersey, ran into the endzone, and then threw his shirt in the crowd and ran into the locker room never to be seen again. After the win, a textbook TB come from behind, Bucs coach Bruce Arians said AB was no longer a member of the team. Brown was our literal last-minute choice over Eagle WR Smith who only did marginally better (8.4 points) playing a full game. Smith has been a nig disappointment for us this year, while AB had tremendous upside before pulling an Alex Michaels and doing something no one has ever seen before. 

We like Arizona +5 in a bounce-back over the Cowpokes in Dallas. 

The Cats have been good to us the last two weeks, and we are letting it roll with the Bengals and QB Joe Burrow as home cats/dogs getting 4 over the KC Mahomes. WIN 

We've also done ok betting against the Ravens and we will continue that as they are 0-4 without their starting QB who is still out today. Rams -4 over Baltimore.  LOSS

It's cold on the Frozen Tundra in Green Bay. Like 13 for a high today, which means that with the Vikes without their QB who is a covid scratch, we will take the under 47.5

And sadly all good things must come to an end, and for our Miami Dolphins, that end is today, in Tennessee, where they are getting a measly 3.5 against Tennessee. We will take the Titans - 3.5. WIN