Thursday, November 30, 2023


 It's Phun With Photos Thursday, and we will be updating this page throughout the day, so check back frequently. 

First up, is it just us or does the new speaker of the House remind you of anyone we know? 

The death of Charlie Munger. 

Those of you who are Gen Z (including those who wear black robes at work) probably do not know who Charlie Munger was. He passed away this week at the age of 99. He was someone we had the good fortune to meet a few times, and we followed his philosophy and here are his five rules for success. 

1. Know Your Stuff\

Munger often referred to this basic concept as staying within your own 'circle of competence' and focusing investment decisions on industries and companies that you can truly understand.

"You have to figure out what your own aptitudes are. If you play games where other people have the aptitudes and you don’t, you’re going to lose," Munger said. "And that’s as close to certain as any prediction that you can make. You have to figure out where you’ve got an edge. And you’ve got to play within your own circle of competence."

2. Who gains? (Que Bono)

Understanding incentives, Munger often said, is a key tenant in the investment canon that can provide a clearer understanding as to why management makes certain decisions and how they can guide future outcome. 

"Show me the incentive, and I will show you the outcome," Munger famously said. "The basic rule of incentives is that you get what you were rewarded for. If you have a dumb incentive system, you get dumb outcomes."

3. Be Safe

Befitting a man who, despite his vast wealth, lived simply and well, Munger adopted the value investing theory, first advanced by American economist Benjamin Graham, of a margin of safety.

Munger understood that undervalued stocks can always get cheaper, and thus opted to instead by securities that trade well below their inherent value in order to provide a cushion to unexpected losses. 

“In engineering, people have a big margin of safety. But in the financial world, people don’t give a damn about safety," Munger said. "When you build a bridge, you insist it can carry 30,000 pounds, but you only drive 10,000 pound trucks across it. And the same idea works in investing.”

4. See the edge

Munger, like Buffett, has always favored investment in companies with a so-called 'competitive moat', or a protective layer against their rivals. Companies with 'moats' that isolate their competitive advantages, such as Apple's services divisions that ties its hardware to recurring revenues in the broader eco system, hold tremendous value, Munger argues. 

“We buy barriers. Building them is tough. Our great brands aren’t anything we’ve created. We’ve bought them," Munger said in 2012. "If you’re buying something at a huge discount to its replacement value and it is hard to replace, you have a big advantage. One competitor is enough to ruin a business running on small margins.”

5. The power of compound interest

A basic, but often underrated investment principal, compound interest gains formed much of the underlying success of Munger's decades long career in finance.

Dovetailing with each of the four previous theories, reinvesting gains from good, competitive and predictable companies over the long term can add exponential growth even the most modest portfolio. 

(Robe wearers Nota Bene of this last piece of advice): 

"Spend each day trying to be a little wiser than you were when you woke up. Discharge your duties faithfully and well. Step by step you get ahead, but not necessarily in fast spurts," Munger said. "But you build discipline by preparing for fast spurts. Slug it out one inch at a time, day by day, and at the end of the day – if you live long enough – most people get what they deserve.”

Wall Street, and the world, has lost a great man.

Tuesday, November 28, 2023


 It is a story to warm even the coldest heart of a Broward Judge. But this takes place in Liberty County, one of Florida's smallest. 

It all started when Judge Kenneth Hosford (and we'd bet all we have in guessing that his friends at the Piggly Wiggly call the Judge "Hos" ) signed a warrant for the arrest of Reese Forehand (we couldn't make these names up if we tried) for the theft of laundry detergent and dryer sheets -value less than $40.00. They take their cleaning products seriously in Liberty County (Motto "Home of the cleanest clothes in all of Florida y'all"). 

Ol Hos 

The State did not file charges.  (They called it a wash...hahahahahaha). That should have been the end of the spin cycle, but technology got Ol Hos right where it hurts. At the end of a Zoom calendar Hos dismissed the PD and said he and the prosecutor need to chat about some non-court things- presumably issues like can you add bleach to colors in the wash, and the fall run of crawdads down at the creek that runs through town. 

On Zoom, and recorded, Ol Hos proceeded to take the prosecutor out to the woodshed about not filing charges on the dirty laundry case.  Hos told the prosecutor "to back up your Sheriff and back up your judge" and suggested a search warrant that he would sign that would presumably catch ol Reese Forehand red handed with the missing laundry detergent. Then,  Ol Hos proceeded to lament the war he was having with the PDs office who were seeking to have him recused on criminal cases - for what reasons we cannot imagine. Ol Hos seems like a right fine good-old boy judge. 

The JQC got the case, and then in what can only be called a sweetheart deal, reached an agreement where ol Hos would apologize and promise not to do it anymore, pay a fine, take thirty days off to go catch them crawdads, and otherwise resume the duties of the only Judge in a small southern town. 

Into the breach stepped FACDL  and Daniel Tibbitt, superstar appellate lawyer of whom we have written about before. FACDL is seeking to file an Amicus Brief (Friend of the Court -yes, Friend of Hos- no) opposing the resolution of the case. 

This is some of what Mr. Tibbitt wrote about ol Hos: 

The judge said the state attorney has to support the sheriff and judge, and if he can’t, needs to say so in open court rather than simply decline to proceed on a case. The judge said that he realized that the search warrant had “thinness” but had suggested to the sheriff how to add to the search warrant to make it stronger and show that the “convicted felon” suspect was “lying”. The judge told the prosecutor they should “rework” the search warrant and “I need y’all to be stronger. You know, it puts me out on a limb when y’all are not stronger, and it puts me in a position to have to make inquiries to hold the law.” The judge criticized the performance of assistant state attorneys in his courtroom the previous session who had not offered harsh enough pleas and who had missed priors of defendants.

So we have a Judge in a one traffic light town asking the prosecutors to be tough and back up Ol Hos in court. A judge who admittedly did his own research on the laundry theft case and then sketched out a plan including signing a "thin" search warrant (so much for affidavits meaning anything) and nobody has a problem with that guy remaining on the bench. Talk about Southern Justice, or as Viki Lawrence sang in one of the greatest songs of the 1970s- That's The Night That The Lights Went Out In Georgia "Well don't trust your soul to no backwoods southern lawyer, cause the judge in the town's got blood stains  laundry detergent on his hands..."  (You know we could do a whole riff on laundry detergent ads that promise to remove blood stains, but by now you've had enough of Ol Hos and so have we). 

Here is the JQC Findings and Recommendation and below that is the FACDL motion. 

Bad Judge Petition - Report & Recommendation by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

Motion - Amicus Curiae by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

Monday, November 27, 2023


 Sorry for the late post. Alas, Work intrudes on holidays. 

We finished our winning holiday weekend as our best bet Michigan over Ohio State (barely) covered. If you followed us on Thanksgiving and College you did not lose a bet. 

Currently we have some of that Michigan money riding on the Vikes -3. 

We lost one in the survivor pool as Dustin was dusted when he did not listen to us and picked the Lions who got waxed on Turkey day by the Pack. 

Two others picked Tennessee and survived, as did RFB on a bye and as we write this Rick Freedman's survival looks iffy as the Vikes are in a real dog fight with the Bears (talk about mixed metaphors!).

Tomorrow- One Bad Judge. 

Aaa2023 Regjb Survivor Pool Week 12 by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

Saturday, November 25, 2023


 The Kansas court system is down. It has been hacked with ransomware.  Lawyers are faxing pleadings and the clerk's office is faxing back responses. The WSJ covers the hacking here. 

 A few thoughts. 

Yes, Kansas has a court system. Just as every bit as sophisticated as in Beechum County, Alabama.  (H/T My Cousin Vinny). 

Who ever thought the use of faxes would be akin to the old days?

Did you know that our own Third District was subject to a ransomware attack recently? When the attackers realized they had stolen hundreds of files and court decisions that were PCAs in criminal cases they asked the Third District to take the data back. Negotiations are on-going as to how much the 3rd DCA is charging the hackers to take their data back.* 

We pay a few hundred a month for an off site backup of all our data as well as 24/7 monitoring of our computers. Which means if hacked, we would lose between 2 and four hours of work (not unsubstantial considering it is our work) and would be back up and running within an hour. And as to monitoring, we recently got an email from a tech telling us one of our laptops was nearing 100% capacity. Having downloaded some government discovery to our hard rive before moving it to the cloud, we were impressed with how quickly our tech people were notified and acted. But that's private industry, and not government work. 

Apparently Kansas's compuserv account was hacked with the password "Password1234'.  (in the future, add a "!" to the password. Duh). 

Rumpole public service announcement: 

With the advent of more powerful computer and AI, A seven-word password can be hacked in four seconds. An 18-character password, using the same current technology will take 481,000 years to crack (or about as long as it takes to get an A-form from the 9th Floor Clerk's office).  So do yourself a favor and check your bank and credit passwords and update them. We have clients who would love you to do nothing. 

*Most of this is not true and is a parody, other than the number of PCAs in criminal appeals. 

Friday, November 24, 2023


Update: 11 am- 13 Israelis and 12 Thai hostages have been released.  Which shows that the criminal act of hostage taking was an international incident. It wasn't just Hamas vs Israel. It was Hamas vs The World and this is a threat we must take seriously.  

While we all hold our breath and pray that the "pause" in bombing holds in Garza, and hostages are released, it is a national holiday of arrant consumerism here in the US. Suddenly that electric carving knife you will never use, and the plug-in automatic room freshener that you will never refill all go on sale for 11% off,  and you have to have them. 

Yes we are scoffing at you and Americans as you load up your credit card. The important things in life- like family and the safety of children are right in front of you. There are four-year-olds who were ripped from their homes with their parents murdered who are being held hostage. There are young children in Gaza whose siblings and parents were blown to bits right in front of them. There is tragedy in unspeakable acts that has unfolded day by day in the last part of 2023. Shame on all of us.  

When will we get to the point where preserving our small blue planet and living in peace and using the blessings of the technology we have developed becomes more important that killing in the name of the lord? 

Maybe never. Maybe we are doomed. Maybe we as a planet blow this infinitesimal chance that nature gave us in the form of carbon-based life. We appear to be alone in the universe and maybe this is why. 

Well enough cheeriness for the day after Thanksgiving. We just write what is on our restless mind. 

We call it Green Friday because if you followed our bets yesterday, WE WON EVERY ONE OF THEM. We picked the Green Bay upset. We reluctantly went with the Cowpokes and we gave you our best bet over 43 in the 49'ers win over the Seahawks. The total just squeaked by at 44, but we won and Draftkings will be paying out handsomely to our burgeoning betting account.  

We hear it is cool in Miami. It snowed here in the Northeast coast earlier this week. A wet, icy, not fun kind of snow. The type of weather that makes coming home to a hot soup in a bread bowl and a warm fire a wonderful thing. 

Happy Green Friday and let's see if our Fins today can keep our streak going. 

Tuesday, November 21, 2023

THANKSGIVING 2023 - Time to make some choices

THANKSGIVING WEEKEND FOOTBALL PICKS  (No Woman No Cry Edition.....see below) 


Our best bet is our own Fins, away -10 (ouch) against the J..E..T...S Jets Jets Jets starting a new QB and in disarray.  But we like Miami with no back-door cover here as the Fins run up the score. 

Our best bet is the over 44 in the Seattle/49ers showdown. Geno is back and both teams will be scoring.  

If you have to, and we do not like these games at all betting wise,  but we like Green Bay +8 in Detroit. The Lions are hot, but the Pack is kinda back and we think they keep it close if not win outright. 

Hold your nose and lay the 13.5 with the Cowpokes at home. We got burned saying they would not cover last week, so Dak is back blah blah blah.  Just remember this- we CANNOT wait until Dallas makes the playoffs so we can bet our monthly mortgage (not an insubstantial number including the European hideaways) against the Cowboys. But until then, let them run it up in the regular games so they can be a 8 or 9 point favorite and have Detroit blow them out. Losers. 

And finally, while we do not often mention college football, we have ridden Meeeeechigan to a very nice winning streak bet wise this season and we are not done yet. Take Big Blue -3.5 at home over Ohio State  (and jump on that line right now before the Turkey and Stuffing).     No Harbaugh? No problem. No Woman No Cry. It won't be close. 

REMINDER:  Rumpole Public Service Announcement: Please do not send out Happy Thanksgiving emails. No one cares. It is not as if people are sitting around their Thanksgiving table and just before carving the turkey someone says "Wait we cannot eat until we all read the happy thanksgiving email from Dewey Cheetum & Howe". So just stop it. It clogs our email inbox and is just a rude egotistical act as if people really want to read your email over the holiday when there's the Target email announcing BOGO for Tums or Head & Shoulders as their Black Friday special. 

First, you can thank us for giving you that best bet over 22 for the first half of Monday night football. True it didn't hit until 2 seconds left in the half, but it paid, along with the Eagles winning. It's the difference between Opus One at your thanksgiving table and a White Claw. 


Assume your table has a turkey and stuffing and apple pie.  Let's move on from there. 

MAIN COURSE:  What is your addition to the turkey?  Choose one: 

1) Ham; 2) Duck; 3) Prime Rib; 4) Steamed Stripped Bass (H/T Everyone Loves Raymond). 

SIDES What are your additions to the stuffing?  Choose two: 

1) Mashed Potatoes; 2) Sweet Potatoes;  3) Potatoes Au Gratin; 4) Green Beans with mushroom gravy; 5) Red Beans and rice; 6) Black Beans and rice; 7) Maduros; 

DESSSERT: What are your additions to Pumpkin Pie?  Choose two: 

1) Apple Pie; 2) Peach Pie; 3 Blueberry pie;   4) Ice cream; 5) Bread Pudding; 5) Flan; 

Rumpole chooses Prime Rib (we have the duck at New Years); Potatoes Au Gratin and Red Beans and Rice; Peach Pie and Bread Pudding.  Yum.  It was a tough call to choose the rice and beans over the green beans. 

The Greatest Thanksgiving TV Episode Ever. 

Happy Thanksgiving.

Before you go, a word about the crisis in Israel and Gaza. We've gotten enough grief for daring to speak up for innocent Palestinian civilians, who like innocent Israelis. are being killed because of the unrelenting hate between Israelis and Palestinians. 

It might be a nice idea to donate to a charity or two. We've vetted several Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs) who are providing aid to the affected people in the region.  You can donate feeling assured these charities do what they say they do. 

IsraAID  IsraAid is an NGO that is helping with the housing crisis in Israel because 125,000 people have been displaced at the Gaza and Lebanon borders. 

Charity Organization for Children | Save the Children  Save the children is an NGO formed in WWI whose mission is to save children affected by war. Save the Children is on the ground in Gaza and Israel fulfilling its mission. It is a very worthy charity. 

International Committee of the Red Cross (icrc.org). The International Committee of the Red Cross supports the local Red Cross and Red Crescent charities. Formed out of the Geneva Convention after WWII, this NGO has told the leaders in Gaza that all children must be protected and all hostages must be released. 

We in the US have a lot to be thankful for in a world where right now there is great suffering. 

Enjoy your holiday. 

Sunday, November 19, 2023


 We could have a winner with our "final five" Survivor pool players. Both RFB and DOM have a chance to wrap it up. 

Here's your very best bet of the week, and one of the best of the season- over 22 in the FIRST HALF of the Chiefs/Eagles Monday night game. KC is in the bottom five of second half scoring and in the top two of first half scoring- so take that Turkey Money and plunk it down on over 22 first half. Thank us later. 


Will the Fins cover the 13.5 at home today? It is a tough one. They tend to run up the score at home and struggle on the road against better teams. The Raiders are up and down, and also better at home. We are going to take our stuffing  money, and lay the 13.5 as we sit in a box and sip a hard seltzer and root for the Fins. 


Steelers STILL getting points against a rookie QB when Mike Tomlin is something like 25-4 against rookie QBs who start? Steelers live on the edge, but we like them with our gravy money for a couple of bucks getting 2. 


Texans are becoming a thing. Which often means a return to the mean. So do you lay the 6.5 at home over a doing nothing Cardinals team? It's a tough call, but if you're enjoying rooting for the rookie QB, WR Tank (which is a great football name) then take the sweet potato pie money and put a few marshmallows on TX. 

We never pass up an opportunity to trash the Cowpokes. Giving up 10.5 on the road? We will take Carolina as a home dog with our cranberry sauce money and because we are gamblers, we will take the Panthers Money Line! Yes you read that right. Our upset special- Panthers at home to win +440- bet a hundred win 440. We will be laying a bit more than the hundry. 


MNF Special- No Way KC is a favourite over the Eagles. Philly and the +125 on the money line? Cannot pass up that value. Take your pumpkin pie with whipped cream money and bet 100 to win 125 and thank us later. 

SURVIVOR: DOM looking good (yes we are jinxing him): 

Aaa2023 Regjb Survivor Pool Week 11 by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

Friday, November 17, 2023



11/16/2005- On Thursday we turned 18! Now we can serve in the army. But we still cannot drink. 

It all started with this:

Welcome to the Justice Building Blog.

My Name is Horace Rumpole.

THE BLOG: WELCOME POST (justicebuilding.blogspot.com) 

Beyond that, the post is pretty much cringe-worthy- but every long journey begins with the first step, and being bored at work on 11/16/2005, we took that step. And here we are...

Quiz for Judges under 40: Name the two people in the photograph. 

Bonus question: Did you ever MEET either of the two people in the photograph?

Pizza Party! 🍕

There was a pizza party for new prosecutors and PDs last week in the REGJB. A bunch of judges spoke. None of them seemed happy. Maybe the pizza wasn't good. Try Casolas on 17th and US1. It is not NY pizza, but it's big and decent. 

Unhappy Judges 

We have two pieces of advice for success for you new lawyers (well, actually three, as one of them is read the Blog regularly despite what your supervisors tell you) 


2. And this is the important one- you can ignore everything the judges told you unless they said this (which means they stole it from one of our prior posts, which is why you should read the  Blog every day: It takes a lifetime to build a reputation, and 30 seconds to destroy it. 
So don't lie to your colleagues. Don't lie to opposing counsel. Don't get caught lying to the Court- ( we jest)....don't lie to the Court.  We all make mistakes (in fact we made one in 2020, it was in the latter part of June). Own your mistakes. Learn from them. Let your word be your bond. If you tell someone something, they should not need an email or text or snapchat to confirm it. You should work to become the type of lawyer about whom people say "If she told you that, you can take it to the bank."

If you want some additional advice, then there is this: study your craft. Read the books (not the YouTube videos) written by the masters. The Art Of Cross Examination by Francis Wellman. Anything written by Gerry Spence. Read the biography of Edward Bennett Williams "The Man To See". Study great orators. A young Roy Black obtained the speeches of General Douglas McArthur to study his speech patterns in an effort to be a better litigator.  Go watch trials and see who is good and steal what works. We don't copyright our arguments.  

Develop patterned responses to situations that repeat themselves, and then hone them. When things are tough, they will help you out of a hole. 

Quick example- if a potential juror complains about always being called to jury duty (which happens a lot) suggest they play the lottery because they are so lucky. This will get them to chuckle, and if the panel is being tough and quiet a little levity may loosen them up. There are about 20 responses jurors will always give in voir dire and if you learn them and develop a quick retort, it will give you the confidence to move forward when things are tough. Another example- when asked to follow the law jurors will invariably reply "I think I can" or "I will try" which we know is not sufficient. Create a well-honed response that you can fall back on that is designed to get them to agree to follow the burden of proof even though they don't really agree with it. 

You (new ASAs and PDs) have embarked on a great adventure. Enjoy the ride. 

Thursday, November 16, 2023


     Are you surprised it took this long? Are you surprised that the lawyer with no experience, no demonstrable legal ability, no trial experience, and no qualifications to win a judicial election other than- and lets just call it as it was- a Hispanic name- is resigning from the circuit bench in the face of an embarrassing removal? 

What we know is that a long history of not showing up, canceling court, being rude to court staff, culminated in the judge "losing their sh&t" in court when a litigant mouthed off - is resigning effective December 31, 2023. The Judge will no longer have a court division as of December 1, and will just burn their vacation time at Florida taxpayer's expense. 

We also know that upon assuming the Circuit bench and being hidden in a dark corner of Juvenile Court, she quickly showed that she had no ability to handle those cases. As the months turned into years, and her work became more embarrassing to the judiciary, more accommodations were made until the Judge was mostly assigned to the domestic violence division (technically a circuit position, but traditionally staffed by County Court judges with their eyes on an 11th Circuit spot after faithfully traveling to all the Federalist Society events in DC)  where she spent her days reviewing petitions for temporary injunctions. 

But she could not even handle that, and as problem upon problem piled up, staff complaining about rude treatment, court being canceled or being late at a rate alarming for even Miami judges,  she was given the opportunity to resign before the accusations became official and public. Discretion being the better part of incompetence, she accepted the offer. 

Do we sound mean and bitter? Yes. This person replaced an extremely competent Circuit Judge based only on her Hispanic sur name, and that not being enough, she pandered during the election to the African American Community, covered by the blog in perhaps one of our greatest posts ever here.  

To recap what remains the absolute high (but really low) water mark of Judicial elections in Miami, the candidate said her volunteer work at Camillus House (something later shown to be an abject and arrant lie) for "colored people" (her words not ours) landed like a bomb at the Wilkie Ferguson Bar event (Wilkie Ferguson was an African American Judge and leader in our community before his untimely death). She followed that gaffe with this legendary statement: "I consider  myself a colored woman" for reasons unclear other than her brain-mouth connection was colored dimwitted.  

And yet- she won. 

We railed against the election of someone so obviously incompetent, who potentially could be presiding over death penalty cases. We raged that elections have consequences, and that this person was being given the power to remove children from parents, sentence people to prison, and most importantly for our civil brethren, sign 57.105 sanctions orders. 

In short, we screamed from the Internet roof tops that being a Judge mattered, and this person had no ability to be a judge. That the rolls of Miami Dade Circuit Judges that included Judge Cowart, Judge Dennis Murphy, Judge Rob Pinero, Judge Melvia Green, Judge Gerald Weatherington, Judge Ron Friedman, Judge Herb Klein,  and Judge Phil Knight, would now include a Rose By Any Other Name. 

We were right. And we have the right to say that. 

Wednesday, November 15, 2023


 There are two types of "big" people; the type that may be physically large in size and the type that simply make a "big" impression.  Long time court reporter Alan Harris (aka A.J. Court Reporting) was small in stature,  yet big in his impact upon the local criminal justice system. He passed away, after a lengthy illness, at age 69. You may not know him by name, but many of you will certainly recognize the face. 

Alan  was a court reporter for many decades, a familiar face not only within the vicinity of the criminal court house but, also to many civil lawyers as well.  Some court reporters may just want to keep to themselves, do their job and eschew from a personal relationship with the lawyers but not Alan...he socialized, I mean really socialized with the lawyers. He was an immensely friendly guy that, after a couple depositions settings, became your genuine friend.  With his grating New Yawk accent, Alan loved to employ Yiddish terms when kibitzing.  He was hardly an all business type since he loved waltzing into law offices to collect court reporting fees ,yet also to shoot the breeze with anybody that wanted to socialize. He was physically diminutive  but had a huge personality where he endeared himself to the ladies (as the photograph quite accurately depicts).  

Alan was diagnosed with a serious illness last year so he elected to move out of town and spend his remaining months with his children and grand children. He was a terrific father and grandfather.  

A difficult aspect of this profession is that it acts as a fraternity; hang around  long enough and you will see a lot of friends and associates leave this Earth. I am so saddened to see Alan Harris forever leave the court house, he was a wonderful and  affable man.

His funeral will be on November 16th, 2023 at 11:00 AM at Lakeside Memorial Park, 10301 NW 25th St,  Miami Fl 33172.

Tuesday, November 14, 2023


 You can tell those federal folks a mile a way. Back in the day of Tobacco Road, they would be the ones sitting in the courtyard on Fridays after work, still wearing a tie, sipping a white wine spritzer while the state court guys and gals were doing Tequilla shots on the bar while singing "Dancing in the Dark" at the top of their lungs. They needed, in the wise words of Sergeant Hulka in Stripes to "Lighten Up Francis!". 

But now we have "Elevator Gate" faithfully reported by everyone's favourite Federal Blogger. 

The Scene is the Elevators in the King Building. Some genius turned them into the analog equivalent of an anonymous chat group by posting two "Post It" notes decrying the erosion of espirit de corps at the US Attorney's Office by the new US Attorney. 

Mr Markus has the crime scene pictures posted here.

But then, remember those up-tight federales we spoke about to start the post? Apparently time (and maybe the availability of gummies) has loosened them up a bit, because the comments are ...well....positively Rumpolian. Go read them. They will make you laugh, from the pondering of the effects of making Paul Petruzzi head of major crimes (which would be an absolutely wonderful move in our opinion) to this genius comment about whom we have a standing offer for the author to become a guest blogger here (email us and we can talk contract and signing bonus): reprinted (without bothering to ask for permission): We are still laughing about the references to counting steps (totally irrelevant to the topic), the pending government shutdown, and the feds use of colored post it notes that sometimes turn up in discovery:

Anonymous said...

Deep in the heart of the King building, between stacks of boxes piled high and numbered, the fluorescent lights flickered and they met:

Consp. 1: Did you bring them?

Consp. 2: Yeah, but it wasn't easy. My secretary counts these things like my husband and his stupid steps...fuck, don't get me started.

Consp 1: Good - how many?

Consp. 2: Only four - the shutdown is coming and any more, I would have had to explain. She knows I don't mark up my goddammed 302s anyhow. Who the fuck does that anymore?

Consp. 1: I do, but I prefer colored ones - the dumb shit defense lawyers always think it means something. Mix it up...red, green, blue...they think I have some "system" in place. Dance little bitches. Dance.

Consp. 2: Dumbfuckers...the tricky part is making them think we are organized...

Consp. 1: HA!...The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist...

Consp. 2: What the fuck are you talking about? You and your goddammed movies...that doesn't even make sense. You would be a Art. III judge by now if you didn't keep saying dumb shit like that all the time.

Consp. 1: Fine....but it isn't that easy to have to explain why we didn't turn over a report, or keep track of the discovery we did or did not turn over...

Consp. 2: One word...parallegal...stop being such a gunner. How fucking hard is it to ask an agent 'what happened next', 'what did he say', 'what is "Movie" code for'...

Cossp. 2: Now, you best hope is to be a county court judge in Coral fucking Gables....

Consp. 2: You did this to yourself.

Consp. 1: Quit messing around, I have mag court in an hour and need to get these up.

Consp. 2: Do you even know what a PIP case is?...FUCK! I touched the front and back one - they can't be used....prints and DNA - you know OPR has nothing better to do.

Consp. 1: No prob - two will work....the others are standing by to click and send.

Consp. 2: Fine - get on with it....those horney fucking assholes from the 4th floor are going to be coming here soon for their "lunch meeting" and I can't tolerate them explain how they are looking for a missing DEA 6 or whatever again....

Consp. 1: Here you go...bye...call me later...

10:21 AM

Note the irrelevant and sly references to things like movie dialogue, counting steps, becoming a federal judge versus a county court judge serving in the Gables, and other small gems while getting their point across- they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and we take that as such. What a great great comment. Well done little feddy, well done indeed. 
For those of you wondering, we are ignoring (for the moment) Mr. Markus's attempt at humor (see opening paragraph of this post) by pondering our involvement in Elevator Gate. 

Monday, November 13, 2023


 This was the NY Times Article this past weekend:

Former President Donald J. Trump is planning an extreme expansion of his first-term crackdown on immigration if he returns to power in 2025 — including preparing to round up undocumented people already in the United States on a vast scale and detain them in sprawling camps while they wait to be expelled.

He plans to scour the country for unauthorized immigrants and deport people by the millions per year.

To ease the strain on ICE detention facilities, Mr. Trump wants to build huge camps to detain people while their cases are processed and they await deportation flights. And to get around any refusal by Congress to appropriate the necessary funds, Mr. Trump would redirect money in the military budget, as he did in his first term to spend more on a border wall than Congress had authorized.

“Trump will unleash the vast arsenal of federal powers to implement the most spectacular migration crackdown,” said Stephen Miller, Mr. Trump’s former White House aide who was the chief architect of his border control efforts.

Rumpole says: Every time we make a reference to Nazi Germany we get into trouble. So be it. But we cannot look at a picture of that little weasel and not think to ourselves "Every Hitler needs a Himmler." 

Lest you think this pure hyperbole, from the article: 

Mr. Trump claimed without evidence that foreign leaders were deliberately emptying their “insane asylums” to send the patients across America’s southern border as migrants. He said migrants were poisoning the blood of our country.”

In 2023, the leader for the nomination of the Republican Party for President is talking about foreign people "poisoning the blood" of our country. 

Don't think it could not happen here. It can and it may. And if you need to know what "it" is, go back and look at our comment on the picture. 

Sort of makes us re-examine those Second amendment rights Supreme Court decisions, because they are coming for some of us, including pain in the ass bloggers.  And our guess is that the internet in those camps they will place us in will be spotty at best, and don't even get us started on brewing our morning coffee whilst in detention awaiting deportation. 

Truly, this is scary.  Maybe our DeSantis drones will protect us. Then again, probably not. 

"Petitioner Rumpole's motion for habeas corpus is denied as being both untimely, rude, and wrong." 

Sunday, November 12, 2023


 Another Sunday flying to/from a trial. It has been a busy fall for your favourite blogger. 

SURVIVOR POOL:  Three players went out today after their Cincinnati Benegals pick was Strouded by Houston and their cool rookie QB.  We could have a winner today!. Follow us on this. Four of the remaining  players (including DOM) picked Dallas. One picked the Colts, which is already a winner, and one picked the Bills Monday night. if Dallas loses to the Giants, which is like saying Trump won Georgia, Pennsylvania and Nevada, then we have two players left and if the Bills lose Monday night then RFB is our winner!

Aaa2023 Regjb Survivor Pool Week 10 by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd


 Rumpole's Power Rankings. 
1) Eagles
2) Chiefs 
3) Lions
4) Dolphins
5) 49ers
6) Ravens (despite the loss today)
7)  Bills
8) Cowboys
8) Jaguars (despite the loss today)
9) Texans 
10) Bengals

Outside looking up: Steelers; Jaguars;  Saints; Browns. 
Race for the number 1 draft pick: Bears; Panthers (who traded it to the Bears so as to draft their QB this year- BIG mistake, and the Bears will have two picks in the top five); Cardinals; Giants and dare we say it...the evil genius and his Cheaters are 2-7 and things are looking grim. Hahahahahahahahaha! 

Friday, November 10, 2023


 We run this every year. It's important. 

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
beneath the crosses row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly;
Scarce heard amid the guns below,
We are dead. 
Short days ago, we lived, felt dawn glow;
Loved and were loved 
and now we lie
In Flanders Fields. 
If Ye break faith with us who die,
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow 
In Flanders Fields.
John McCrae
WWI Solider who died on the front in France of pneumonia in 1918.

While you're at it click here and read Judge Jon Schlessinger's moving tribute to his Uncle Edward Kielich, who was buried with full honours at Arlington Cemetery. 

They’ve seen things we could never imagine.

They’ve done things people were not meant to do.

They risked their lives so we can live in freedom.

They are our veterans and today we honor them.

105 Years ago tomorrow, on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 the guns of the great war fell silent.

Our Boys, The Doughboys, lie at rest in places with names like Flanders, Bony, and Belleau. They died on battlefields named Marne, Somme, and Verdun. Almost 5 Million Americans were in uniform for World War I, and over 100,000 died, and more than half of those deaths were on the battlefield.

It was the first time American boys would be asked to save Europe. It would not be the last.

Our nation has answered the call time and time again. Mostly for the right reasons, but not always. Yet we’ve always answered the call. And the price has always been high. Our young men and now our young women lie in battlefield graveyards all over the world, never to grow older, never to see the results of their sacrifice. Sacrifice given with the full assurance that their country would never let them down and would never forget. Sacrifice that Abraham Lincoln called "The last full measure of devotion."

Today we remember. And at 11 am Saturday, stop for a moment and take two minutes and reflect on the good things in your life. Think of your home, or your children, or your parents, or the freedoms you enjoy, and your comforts and remember none of that would have been possible without them.

Thank you. It doesn't seem enough, but Thank You, each and every one of you.

Wednesday, November 08, 2023


 Judge Altman went to Colombia and Yale. (So did Rumpole. We visited, didn't get in, and left). He had a cup of coffee as an AUSA, did a stint in private practice- realized no real person could bill 2200 hours a year, and was appointed by you know who to the Federal Bench.  Once on the bench he has received very good reviews as an intelligent and thoughtful jurist. He threw himself into his job, mastered the learning curve quickly, and basically has done everything right. 

Then Hamas attacked Israel, a Yale law professor tweeted on X "Settlers are not civilians. This is not hard" (@zareenagerwal) and also posted a video of the attack and X'd (tweeted?) "It's been an extraordinary day". 

 Judge Altman, a Yalie, found himself writing a thoughtful response as to why under international law the people butchered and murdered were not settlers, why Hamas's bloody attack had no basis in law (or humanity for that matter),  and then he pondered pressing the send button. 

To send or not to send, that is the question. Whether tis noblier in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of a dopey Yale law professor/apologist for brutal Hamas murderers, or to take arms against idiocy and wade into the singular most contentious issue of the day.

 Careers larger than Judge Altman's have cratered upon the rocky shoals of the Symplegades Clashing Rocks of the Israeli/ Hamas conflict (including Rumpole's blog, where we dared to speak up for the innocent Palestinians being bombed before Obama weighed in and agreed with us). 

Eventually Judge Altman decided, like Theodore Roosevelt that he did not belong with "those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat",  and he spoke his piece and sent in his article. The backlash was swift, expected, and vitriolic. 

Critics (see the Roosevelt quote above from "The Man in the Arena") weighed in that a federal judge has no right to criticize a Yale Professor and seemingly take Israel's side in the conflict. Judge Raag Singhal SDFL (and another you know who appointee) weighed in in defense of his friend and colleague, and (and you knew this was coming) so did Judge Milt Hirsch. 

Judge Altman's response was not political, but legal. The Yale professor was wrong on the law- no surprise to Rumpole who chews up and spits out Yalie lawyers as a hobby ("Not accept me in your law school? Well I'll show you..."). 

Here is Judge Altman's article in the National Review with the title The Israeli's Slaughtered By Hamas Were Not Settlers. 

DOM covers is all on his blog, including the national newsletter naming Judge Altman "federal judge of the week" (who even knew there was such a thing? We should have thought of that) and Judge Singhal's defense of his friend and colleague. 

All in all just another week in South Florida. The only thing more controversial Judge Altman could have done was defend embattled Michigan Coach Jim Harbaugh. But he wisely left that contretemps alone. 

Tuesday, November 07, 2023


 We rarely peruse the pages of the Florida Bar newsletter - our staff has instructions to deposit the offending circular in the recycle bin as soon as it arrives. We don't need to know that there's a vacancy in the County Court of Ocala, or that Dewey retired from Dewey Cheetum & Howe. 

But for reasons not pertinent to this discussion we spent a few bad minutes thumbing through the pages- time we will never get back- and happened upon this: 

Disbarred for stealing money- and ummmm...oh yeah- he killed his dad. Sort of a weird way of listing the offenses committed that resulted in disbarment wouldn't you say?

Brandon Scott Labiner, 23322 La Vida Way, Boca Raton, disciplinary revocation without leave to seek readmission effective immediately following a September 28 court order. (Admitted to practice: 2016) Labiner misappropriated over $400,000 from his stepmother’s trust fund, of which he was the sole trustee. He also forged documents submitted to the Bar, including bank records and an affidavit, and failed to withdraw from three cases after he was emergency suspended. Additionally, Labiner was charged with second-degree murder of his father and is being held without bond. (Case No. SC23-0945)

So in order of seriousness as per the Bar: 1) stealing 2) lying to the Bar about stealing and 3) killing your dad. 


For those of you that follow the market, the VIX is dropping faster than a Hialeah misdemeanor DV case. For those of you that missed our call of Amazon two weeks or so ago at 120 (142 as of this writing)  and Qualcomm at 110 (120 ish as well right now) sorry. Watch the Vix- if it starts to rise, the market will fall a bit and you can hop in and snap up Amzn below 140, Appl below 180 (although it is in a long term trading range of 17-180ish) and Applied Materials also below 140. 

Remember what Rumpole's fav law school professor (Property, Trust and Wills and Estates- believe it or not) used to say: "Bears make money, Bulls make money, pigs get kicked in the head."  We follow that one but neglected his other saying "The wills you write in your youth will support you in your old age."  RIP LW. 

We were two busy trying drug cases in our youth to write a will. 

Monday, November 06, 2023

Sunday, November 05, 2023


 A seemingly never ending string of trials has kept Rumpole scrambling just to post the world-famous survivor pool. We do not even have time to ponder football picks these days, which is a sad thing. 

This week, the Pool's favourite pick was the Browns over the Cardinals. Dan Lurvey took the only loss with a not a bad pick of Atlanta over Minnesota- who was starting a rookie QB.  But unfortunately for Lurvey the rookie went out with a concussion and newly acquired QB Josh Dobbs- the rocket scientist (for real) who has experienced a resurgence this season came off the bench and rallied the Vikes to a win and sent Lurvey to Loserville where everyone who plays the survivor pool ends up - except one. 

Heading into the second part of the season, DOM looks like a strong choice to take home the title, although don't count out veterans like Rick Freedman and Dan Tibbitt who are strong players and are well positioned to make a run. 

Personally, our Opus One fund took a massive hit today when our Fins let us down in Germany. We had them +1.5 parlayed with the under for a nice potential payday. The under hit, which we also had, but all that did was mitigate a mid-three figure loss on the Fins parlayed with the under. Oh well, there's always next week. 

And we have similar bets on the sizzling 8pm game tonight with the Bills over the Bengals and the under. We just aren't sold on the Cincy resurgence just yet- and one way we have made some nice money this year is riding the under which has been hitting with regularity. The smart money boys in Vegas are betting on a return to the mean with over starting to hit, but we are going to ride under until we have a losing week which we haven't had yet. But take what we are saying with a grain of salt, as we lost big time today on Miami and are fighting the urge to chase our losses and get even. Oh well, better to lose a bet than a trial we always say. 

Aaa2023 Regjb Survivor Pool Week 9 by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

Saturday, November 04, 2023


 This week came the news that NYC mega law firm Stroock Stroocl & Lavan "stroock out" after 147 years in business as the partners voted to dissolve among the firm suffering massive defections, especially in its prized real estate business, to other law firms. It's a dog eat Stroock world in the rarified air of NYC big law. 

This week also came news that Miami has a new resident! Jeff Bezos, and his GF are moving from Seattle to Miami and we want to give the power couple an REGJB Blog Welcome. 

We also have a few tips for the new Miami residents. 

Publix vs. Milams is a big decision when deciding where to push your shopping cart. Each have their own upsides. Of course we also have Whole Foods, but that can be tough on a new couple on a budget- those smoothies and cold pressed juices add up quick. 

We definitely recommend switching from your morning Starbucks to a Cafecito or cafe con leche, and depending on where the new couple rent, we are sure there is a local cafe just around the corner. We are also partial to the well buttered side of cuban-toast- the soft piece that does not crumble when you bite into it. 

For fun, you cannot beat a day at the beach, and by November the public parking lots are emptying out and you can snag a spot- or just take an Uber to your favorite sand dune. 

And for a fun night out, dinner and clubbing on Miami Beach is a must for every new resident, but be careful of the upsells at the clubs, where a coveted spot in the VIP section usually requires the purchase of  multiple thousand -dollar bottles of vodka (that retail for 60 bucks at the corner liquor store).  For dinner there is Joes- remember to tip the maître'-d on the way out, and a local secret is Joe's Take Out right next door for breakfast- avoid the touristy stone crab omelet and just go for the eggs or french toast. 

For culture, we are sad to say there isn't much- Miamians flock to malls and strip malls to see and be seen; and for locals, pulling up to the valet in a Tesla S is all most Miamians want to do- as long as their friends and neighbors see them. However, if you search, you can find small oases of culture. Books and Books in Coral Gables is a good place to spend a lazy, sticky, hot, humid afternoon, and there is usually a book reading a few evenings a week- but unfortunately the titles might be "Miami Influencer- the untold stories" or "Gucci Channel and Me- adventures at Bal Harbor". 

Right across the street from Books and Books is one of the few independent movie theaters where you can catch movies that do not have bridges being blown up and people being shot every two minutes. The theater is one of the last refuges of the dwindling Miami Intellectual elite. 

And finally, we have all the sports you could ever want, and the good news is that unless it's the playoffs, you can snag a great seat for a good price. We like the Vivid Seats app. But should one of the teams make the playoffs, then the see&beseen crowd will snap up all the seats and pretend to be lifelong fans. 

Such is the life in one of the phony-ist cities in the world. 

So enjoy- and remember : sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen! 

* In case you were wondering, we have intentionally refrained from any offensive commentary about the appearance of an older man and younger Latina girlfriend being anything that is common or that Miamians approve of. Such nonsense is offensive, sexist, ageist, and has no place on a blog that does not peddle such trashy, juicy rumors.