Tuesday, May 30, 2023


 Theranos executive Elizabeth Holmes reported to federal prison on Tuesday to serve an eleven-year sentence. A few thoughts. 

Does anyone think that if she got five years, she would leave prison and return to defrauding people? 

Does anyone think people who are contemplating committing crimes really consider the sentence someone else got? In other words, is there any evidence to support the belief that prison sentences deter others? 

The problem is the public perception that prison is easy and fun and that people like Holmes who get a three or four year sentence laugh at the criminal justice system and get to keep all their stolen money. Spend a day in prison. Spend a mind-numbing week in prison and then tell us that prison is easy and joke and that prisoners laugh at it.

We of course are not trying to influence DeSantis appointed Judges (DJs). You guys just keep calling balls and strikes and keeping sending poor people of color to prison for as long as possible. Nobody expects anything else of you. 

Your Miami Heat won a game seven in Boston, becoming the second Florida team to win a game seven in Boston this year. Earlier in the playoffs the Florida Panthers won a game seven in Boston. 

Both the Panthers and the Heat are eighth seeded entries into the playoffs in their respective leagues and both of the teams are now in the finals. 

Predictions for your Florida teams? We want to hear from all of you loyal Heat and Panthers fans who supported the teams all year long and didn't just jump on the bandwagon during the playoffs. 

All five of you. 




For the seventh time in their 35-year history, the MIAMI HEAT are in the NBA FINALS. Last night, they defeated the Boston Celtics in Game Seven of the Eastern Conference Finals by a score of 103-84. The 8th-seeded Heat knocked off the Number One seeded Bucks in five; the Number Five seeded Knicks in six; and got sweet revenge in besting the Celtics in seven games. The Celtics were held to their lowest point total in their 102 games played in the 2022-23 season. Jimmy "F'ing" Butler was named the MVP of the ECF after averaging 24.7 points per game in the series.

Dear Rumpole:

As a die-hard HEAT lifer*, I have a lot to say to you, but let me begin by saying this:

Rumpole, I’ve appeared before Judge Colodny, I know Judge Colodny. Judge Yvonne Colodny is a friend of mine. Rumpole, you're no Judge Colodny. (HT: Lloyd Bentsen).

On May 29, 2022: In Miami - Jimmy Butler missed a potential game-winning shot against the Celtics in Game 7 of the ECF and said:

“Next year, we will have enough and we're gonna be right back in this same situation, and we're gonna get it done.”

On May 29, 2023: In Boston - Jimmy Butler and the Heat beat the Celtics in 7 to advance to the NBA Finals.


GO HEAT !!!!!!!


*I am a season ticket holder and have been for two decades, attend many of the games during the season and post-season, and watch every game on TV that I don’t attend (home and away).

Sunday, May 28, 2023


 No, the title of the post does not relate to the admittedly heartbreaking loss of the Miami Heat Saturday night. Although it pains us to say it, the Heat courageously battled back from multiple Celtic double-digit leads on Saturday night before a packed Biscayne Boulevard arena packed with white-shirt-wearing fans making their first showing at a Heat game this year, paying triple the price of a ticket, and pretending to be loyal fans.  

Props to J Butler who was ice with three seconds left, nailing three free throws to put your Miami Heat up by one. Alas, you have to box out under the boards, or the opposing team will scoop up a missed shot and tap it in for the win, which is just what happened. 

Game 7 is Monday. We might, just might be in Beantown with a ticket, wearing Green. 

The title of our post refers to the article making the rounds where a lawyer used ChatGBT to write a response to a motion. The bot, feeling a bit frisky, created fake case names and cites that the lawyer used in the motion. The other side, not being as lazy as the author of the brief, actually tried to pull the cases, and alerted the court they did not exist. One case centered around a fictitious 11th Circuit Court of Appeals decision, so the district judge went so far as to call the clerk of the 111th Ciruit to ask whether the case existed. It did not. 

The only defense the lawyer who wrote the bot brief had was that he apparently asked the bot if the cases he cited were real. And the bot replied that they were. Which brings us to this new maxim of law- "Never trust a bot with whom which you haven't shared your fee. "

What kind of lawyer cites cases that s/he doesn't bother to read? 

There's lots of articles on this mishap, here's one you can check out. 

 Southern District of New York Judge Kevin Castel said in an order. Lawyer Steven Schwartz claimed it was his first time using ChatGPT for a case, and he “was unaware of the possibility that its content could be false.” Schwartz, who will face a sanctions hearing next month, said in an affidavit that he “greatly regrets having utilized generative artificial intelligence to supplement the legal research” and “will never do so in the future without absolute verification.” In his affidavit, he included screenshots of ChatGPT swearing the fake cases were real and even cited real legal databases the lawsuits were supposedly stored in.

Mr. Schwartz, who has practiced law in New York for three decades, told Judge P. Kevin Castel that he had no intent to deceive the court or the airline. Mr. Schwartz said that he had never used ChatGPT, and “therefore was unaware of the possibility that its content could be false.”

He had, he told Judge Castel, even asked the program to verify that the cases were real.

It had said yes.

The NY Times covers it here. 

Rumpole notes that the bot had it's AI fingers crossed behind its back. 

Friday, May 26, 2023


 Your Miami Heat are on the verge of an epic, choking collapse, as after going up 3-0 in their playoff series again the Celtics, the series is now 3-2, with the Heat having collapsed like the little losers they are. Game 6 is in Miami and then.....game 7 is in Boston (cue Jaws theme music). 

It's not the Heat that we really do not like, it is you- their Miami front-running fans who only show up for the playoffs wearing your fancy foo-foo white shirts and screaming and yelling like you've watched every game this year when we all know that as front-running phony Miami fans you don't even pay attention until game seven of the playoffs. 

The Florida Panthers are another story. Barely making the playoffs as the last seed, the never say die Panthers steamrolled their way to the Stanely Cup finals with an over-the-hill goalie- Sergei Bobrovsky (34), and a remarkable forward- Matthew Tkachuck- who has shown an unbelievable ability to score the game winning goal three times in these playoffs. 

Celtics/ Heat in Miami Game 6 Saturday night. 

Celtics/ Heat in Boston, Game 7 Monday night. 

Enjoy your holiday weekend watching your team collapse.  

Courts are closed Monday and flags will be at half-staff Tuesday mourning (no not Alonso Mourning) you know who. 

Wednesday, May 24, 2023


 For those new DeSantis County Court judges, whose vocabulary is mostly limited to repeating over and over that they won't legislate from the bench and will follow the law (and won't say Gay), don't get too excited by the title of the post. No- it is not some new paraphernalia crime with a minimum mandatory allowing you to show Governor D how tough you are as you throw people in jail.  It's merely a description of the contents of the post. But don't worry, we are sure you'll get some possession of marijuana crimes or maybe even possession of Disney paraphernalia cases ( F.S. 666.066(z)(1-4) et.al., ) that will give you the opportunity to sentence someone to 364 and get you on the way to the 3rd DCA. 

First up, sent to us by an alert reader, our reaction is that it reminds us of the "no children" signs that used to hang on the doors of courtrooms in the REGJB until we got on our soapbox about that. The signs are so 2021. 

Second, on our perambulations* around Miami, we came across two putative courthouses: one new, one old. First up, the oldie. 

If you say C. Clyde Atkins to a 30 something circuit or county DeSantis judge, you'll probably be met with a blank stare, or a riposte that they didn't show up for calendar so a warrant for their arrest was issued, which pretty much sums up (some) of the problems with the judiciary these days. But old-time federal practitioners will look at the federal courthouse and remember when it was brand new. Here is the facelift, including the new glass foyer. We are tracking down the rumors of a Starbucks, Jamba Juice and Chipotle outlets in the new old lady. We can report on the instillation of charging stations for those lawyers and jurors who scoot to court on scooters. So cool (would twixt that it was really true). 

And finally, you didn't think the powers that be would let a courthouse fall on several hundred civil lawyers and judges did you (yes, most of you are thinking of the old joke- what do you call a boat with a thousand lawyers that is sinking? A good start!)?

So from the ashes of asbestos and beams in the middle of courtrooms, rises a majestic new arena designed to allow litigants to adjudicate the PIP and first party insurance clams cases. Oh wait, the legislature did away with attorneys' fees on those cases. Well, maybe somewhere someone will file a lawsuit over a contract. In any event we have a new civil courthouse coming y'all.  Woo hoo! Motions for sanctions on interrogatories anyone? 

 Extra blog bonus points if you can identity the author of this poem: 

777 they will call you. 

Towards heaven heaven heaven you will soar. 

Only god can make a tree I grant you;

But only man can make a 40th floor!

*  It is just a fancy way of saying walking. To perambulate is to walk. Thus, the infamous cross by Rumpole, circa 1980 where he thundered in some DUI trial, "you observed my client perambulate, did you not? To which the befuddled officer replied, "Absolutely not, I let him use the bathroom by himself."

True story. 

Tuesday, May 23, 2023


 The headline is a disappointing quote from a Justice Gorsuch comment to a case the Supreme Court remanded as moot. 

Background: A certain former President and the Congress enacted a series of laws allowing the Federal Government to impose sanctions aimed at stopping the spread of the Covid-19 virus during the pandemic. Called Title 42, it gave the government broad powers to close borders and public places of gathering (but not tattoo parlors in Florida).  A group of Republican (naturally) attorney generals sued under the theory that if they couldn't see the virus, there was no proof it was real and not a creation of Hillary Clinton at the direction of Mao Tse Tung and Venezuelan voting machine companies. 

The current administration ended Title 42 last week, and the lawsuit, which had reached the Supreme Court via a fax sent to a yacht in the Greek Isles which just happened to have Justice Thomas on board, returned the case this week to the lower court as moot. 

But that wasn't enough for Justice G man. He called Title 42 "the greatest intrusion on civil liberties in the peacetime history of this country And then he really ripped into governors and legislators who were just trying to keep Americans alive in the face of a virus, which at the time was killing people and had no vaccine to prevent the spread: 

“Executive officials across the country issued emergency decrees on a breathtaking scale,” and “governors and local leaders imposed lockdown orders forcing people to remain in their homes.” They shuttered businesses and schools, he continued, and “threatened violators not just with civil penalties but with criminal sanctions, too.”

We don't know how Justice G felt about concentration camps for Japanese Americans, or when Lincoln suspended habeas corpus, but not letting people pray in mega churches with thousands of seats when getting into an elevator with two people could end up killing you really frosted Judge G's ass a little bit. 

Here's his diatribe,  in all its Gorsuch-gory hyperbole. 

gorsuch by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

Monday, May 22, 2023


 Every now and then we do some good. So do our readers. Thank you. 

Anonymous Melissa Padron said...

Thank you to all who have shared such wonderful stories about my brother on this blog. I was just made aware of it yesterday and was deeply moved by this discovery, as were my mother and his son, Lucas.
My brother was a humble, discreet man so it wasn’t until his diagnosis and passing that many friends and strangers shared with us stories of how he helped, advised, supported or simply made laugh someone who needed it.
We feel an immense void in our lives and are struggling to accept this great loss. Since we were kids, he was always the life of the party and mature beyond his years. Reading all of your stories made him come alive again in such a wonderful and much needed way. We can’t express how lovely the discovery of this blog has been for us. We sat around sharing Eric stories after reading yours which was uplifting and helpful.
Lucas, Anolan y Melissa

Anonymous Melissa Padron said...

Thank you to everyone who has shared such great stories about my brother. Today, I was made aware of this blog and shared it with my mother and his son, Lucas. We are moved beyond words at the sentiments shared. My brother was humble about his accolades so it wasn’t until he passed that we found out how many lives he had discreetly helped, impacted or delighted. We miss him terribly. His knowledge, wisdom, and advice were always at a level beyond his years since childhood. But what we miss most is his wit. To paraphrase someone above, even a smirk or raised eyebrow said more than a thousand words.
Thank you for sharing on this blog and unknowingly making us, his family, who are struggling to make sense of this loss, feel like he has come to life is once more.
We are deeply grateful.

Thursday, May 18, 2023



(as a reminder, see our last post on an amazing order by Judge Altman and his use of the Royal We)

A defense team representing Joe Carollo in a civil lawsuit before Judge Rodney Smith has narrowly avoided prison when one of the lawyers took a photograph with his phone in court and posted it on social media. 

We can only categorize Judge Smith's reaction as "volcanic",  🌋with rightful references to a Federal Judge in New Jersey whose son and husband were killed in an assassination attempt. 

Here a channel Ten news summary of the proceedings. 

The judge, visibly furious, told the entire defense council that the actions crossed the line. “You have conducted yourself in a way that is beyond reprehensible,” said Smith.

Late in the day Wednesday, the judge ordered that six attorneys, including Stolow, along with Amber Dawson, Mason Pertnoy, Marc Sarnoff, Benedict P. Kuehne and Thomas Scott would be indefinitely barred from bringing any cellphones, cameras, or any other recording device into any courthouse in the Southern District of Florida.


He brought up a case of a U.S. District Judge in New Jersey whose 20-year-old son was killed and her husband critically injured when someone rang the doorbell of the family home and shot them.

Smith said the photo incident was a “matter of safety.”

The judge took a 15-minute recess and then came back with his recommendation to Carollo’s attorneys: ethics training and two years of not practicing in the Southern District for all of the defense attorneys. He is giving them 30 days to respond and if an agreement cannot be reached, he would set a contempt hearing in 90 days.

Wednesday, May 17, 2023


 Since the inception of this humble, yet widely read blog, we have entered the lexicon of South Florida Legal chat. "North of the Border" for example, is a phrase we invented and popularized; just last week on a zoom hearing a lawyer logged in from outside the Broweird courthouse and the judge said "oh I see you're north of the border...". While we did not invent Broweird, we expanded its use. "Robed Readers" is another phrase we brought into existence. And even our very existence has become a ubiquitous phrase, as in " you read the blog today?"  "The Blog" means this blog in South Florida legal-speak, something we are rightfully proud of. 

But nothing stands out as much as our use of the "royal we" in how we write. See our very first post here in which we discuss our use of the "royal we".  It is unique in blogging. One might say it is a singular identifying characteristic that, in other unpleasant circumstances would allow the use of our writing style to be admitted at trial as 404(b) evidence, commonly known in Florida as "Williams Rule" evidence, against us. 

It thus surprised us to read this wonderful order by US District Judge Roy Altman, blistering the government for, and there is no other conclusion after reading the order, of conspiring with federal agents to manufacture reports to save the case from being dismissed. Kudos to Judge Altman for calling out the evil empire for getting their fingers caught in the Maritime Enforcement Cookie Jar (another unique feature of this award-winning blog is that no one mixes metaphors as adroitly as we do). 

Read On Macbeth, and let us know about what you think of the strange phraseology of the good Judge's order. Has he been....dare we say...."blog influenced?"

Order USA v. Asprilla, Et. Al. by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

Monday, May 15, 2023

Judge Frank Johnson

In light of the resignation of a judicial hugging giant on Friday, it's time for everyone's favourite Constitutional Calendar by Judge Milt Hirsch. You know it. You love it. You cannot live without it.  If we start a campaign maybe we can get the good Judge to start an Instagram Account "Constitutional Calendar By Milt" It would go viral with our help. 

And this one is about a true Judicial giant, a man who was directly responsible, at great personal risk to his life, with making rulings enforcing the civil rights acts of 1964 and voting rights act of 1965 when he was a district court judge in Alabama. As the picture shows, he was on the cover of Time in 1967 because of his courageous rulings. For you new judges Time was a weekly magazine that covered national and international issues. 

A magazine was....oh never mind. 

Judge Johnson was a man who swam against the tide of public opinion because he knew right from wrong. A man who was not beholden to anyone. He didn't just call balls and strikes. He was a man who saw wrong and did right. Our judges today, who are afraid of their shadow and the SAO, of whom we bet 99.9% would not be able to identify if Frank Johnson was a district and circuit court judge, or a place kicker for the Dolphins in the mid 1980s, would do well to read up about Judge Frank Johnson. 

On May 16, 1979, Judge Frank M. Johnson Jr. appeared before the Senate Judiciary Committee.  Johnson, a district judge in Alabama, was already a legendary figure for his role in desegregating the schools of his state.  His appearance before the Senate was in connection with his nomination to what was then the Fifth Circuit.

Unexpectedly, Johnson was presented with a “minority questionnaire” prepared by Strom Thurmond and other Republican members of the Committee.  The questionnaire’s second question was, “The Federal Judiciary has become the target of both popular and academic criticism that alleges that it has usurped many of the prerogatives of the legislative branch of the federal and state governments by engaging in their [sic; its] own law-making. ...  Please discuss whether or not you agree with these criticisms.  What are your own personal views on ‘judicial activism,’ the phrase often used to describe these judicial tendencies[?]”

Johnson responded:

The charge that federal judges have engaged in “law-making” is as old as the Constitution itself. ... In a democracy, the power of the courts to decide constitutional cases is not, and should not be, absolute.  The doctrine of separation of powers and the doctrine of “Our Federalism” properly circumscribe the role of the federal courts.  But these doctrines serve only to limit, not to bar, the exercise of judicial power.  Neither doctrine reserves to Congress or the states the right to violate the Constitution.  The balance between “law-making” and “law-interpreting” is a fragile one.  While a failure to defer to the decisions of coordinate branches of government is judicial intrusion and therefore improper, a blind deference to legislative and executive action is judicial abdication and is equally mistaken. The rights guaranteed by the Constitution are to be made effective in the present. 


The Constitutional Calendar (c) 2023 Judge Milt Hirsch, all rights reserved. Reprinted with semi-permission of the author. 


The government folded their tent and ran away. With the jury 10-2 for acquittal on the remaining  counts of fraud and money laundering, and with the not guilty on the false statement count, the government announced today that they will NOT re-try Gilium. In legal terms, they got their freaking ass kicked and said enough. 

Well done David and Margo and Katie Miller and Todd Yoder. 

Well done indeed. 

Wednesday, May 10, 2023


 It was her first murder case and it was her last murder case. Her only murder case that she presided over.  

Judge Elizabeth Scherer, who after being denied the chance to show the world how tough she was and sentence Nicholas Cruz to death, and then infamously hugged the prosecutors after the jury's life recommendation, has RESIGNED. 

She was recently ordered by the Florida Supreme Court to recuse herself from a different case being handled by the same prosecutor she hugged. We covered that debacle here in our alliterative "Scherer Schmered" post THE BLOG: SCHERER SCHMEARED (justicebuilding.blogspot.com) 

We are engaging in rank speculation here, but what the hey. 

The Cruz case fell in Scherer's division. Suddenly a new judge, who had never done a murder case was being assigned the biggest case in Broweird.  She was going to preside over the largest death penalty prosecution in the nation, and she had the opportunity to lecture the defendant ,nee the world, about why the death penalty was appropriate. Visions of the 4th DCA, the Florida Supreme Court and perhaps the 11th circuit with an appointment from President DeSantis danced in her mind.  All that had to happen was the system working as planned and the jury recommending death. 

Be careful what you ask for in life because you may get it. 

Now all that is left is a crumpled robe on the floor, her dreams shattered by the operation of the jury system, her bias exposed, the hug heard round the world. 


Tuesday, May 09, 2023

trump LIABLE

 The verdict came a little after 3pm on Tuesday May 9, 2023. 

The former president was found liable for sexual assault (not liable for rape), and liable for defamation. 

The total award is approximately five million dollars. 

Ms. Carrol, the plaintiff, had testified that she was not sure if trump's penis had penetrated her, because she could not see. She was certain that his fingers had penetrated her sexual organ. Perhaps size does matter. In any event, the jury declined to find trump liable for rape, but liable for every other count in the complaint. 

Now we are going to go out on a limb here and just take a wild guess, and for the record this is before 3:30 pm on May 9, 2023, that the defendant in this case will say the following: 

1) The judge was biased; 

2) The jury was biased; 

3) The plaintiff was ugly, mentally ill, and not his type; 

4) That nobody has ever seen anything like this jury trial before and very respected lawyers, we mean really the very very most respected lawyers in the country had called the former president to tell him that they had never in their very very long and respected careers ever seen a judge more biased, a worse jury, and a more ugly and mentally ill plaintiff than in this case; 

5) That the jury was confused and clearly the case will be immediately overturned on appeal because how can someone be found liable for sexual assault and not liable for rape and that very very respected lawyers, we mean the most respected trial lawyers in the country, had never seen a case where a person was found not liable for rape but liable for sexual assault; 

6) That his lawyer did a horrible job and he made a big mistake in having him defend him because any other lawyer could have won the case and very very respected lawyers, the most experienced lawyers in the country have called to tell him they have never ever ever seen a lawyer defend a case worse than the way this case was defended; 

7) That this case is a witch-hunt which started with Russia, the FBI, Area 51, Elvis, the Cubs winning the world series, Obama being born in South Africa and raised in Chinese madrasas where he developed the covid-19 pathogen, Ted Cruz's father killing President Kennedy, the change in how McDonald's cooks their hamburgers,  and Joe Biden taking home LSAT cheat sheets which were then stored on his son's computer and sold for hundreds of thousands of dollars to liberal college students who all ate at a pizza place in Washington DC that catered to pedophiles. 

And so it goes in America in 2023. 

Saturday, May 06, 2023


 Oh to be in England now that spring is here. 

And for the Coronation of King Charles III. 

There is nothing about Primogenitures that seems correct to us. 

Except for England, the first and we would argue the greatest Democracy, it works. 

This England, who stood alone in 1939 when the rest of the free world looked the other way as the dark curtain of Nazism descended across Europe. 

This England, who stood in the breach firm, bending but not breaking, and saved the world from tyranny.

This England, whose verdant fields and rolling hills beckon. 

This England of Shakespeare, Wordsworth and Kipling.

This England of Nelson, Montgomery, Disraeli, Churchill, and Queen Elizabeth II. 

This England, where a Pub and a Pint are all a man or woman needs for a night when the rain is incessantly falling. 

Things did not go well for Kings Charles the I, who during the era of Make England Great Again (MEGA) was tried and convicted of high treason, and executed in 1649. The Monarchy was abolished, and the Commonwealth of England was established. But MEGA did not (thankfully) last long, and his son Charles II ascended to the throne and was coronated in 1660 (a mere three hundred years before the birth of the NY Mets!). 

London is the only city we know of, where emerging from the theater, we will overhear a gaggle of teenagers, their hair purple, green and pink, their face dotted with various metal studs, earnestly discussing whether the Othello they just saw was a good as the one the saw the year before. 

England is culture, and history, and beauty, and tradition. England is permanence. There will always be an England, a throne, a realm, and a people, who sing of their freedom. 

And of course, there are these famous words, from Shakespeare, in Richard II:

This royal throne of kings, this scepter’d isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England,

Friday, May 05, 2023




“The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated”. Samuel Clemens, June 2, 1897

Being that the qualifying period to run for Judge is exactly one year away (May 2024), we present to you the current judges up for re-election and a few candidates that have already filed for 2024.


Antonio Arzola

Miguel de la O

Victoria del Pino Filed

Vivianne Del Rio Filed

Jason Dimitris

Pedro Echarte Attorney Heloiza Correa has filed

Javier Enriquez Filed

Jose Fernandez

Mindy Glazer

Charles Johnson

Carlos Lopez Filed

Yery Marrero

Marisa Tinkler Mendez

David Miller Attorney Jason Bloch has filed

Ariana Fajardo Orshan

Teresa Pooler Attorney Marie Mato has filed

Maria de Jesus Santovenia

Valerie Manno Schurr Filed

Lourdes Simon Filed

Ellen Venzer Filed

Maria Verde

Diana Vizcaino Filed

Lisa Walsh Filed


Milena Abreu Filed

Betsy Alvarez-Zane Filed

Michael Barket Filed

Robin Faber Attorney Michelle Urbistondo has filed

Laura Gonzalez

Gloria Gonzalez-Meyer Filed

Diana Gonzalez-Whyte

Christopher Green Filed

Lawrence King

Myriam Lehr

Steve Leifman         Attorney Mariano Corcilli has filed

Patricia Marino-Pedraza

Lizzet Martinez Filed

Kristy Nunez

Maria Ortiz

Eleane Sosa-Bruzon Filed

Linda Singer Stein Filed

Jacqueline Woodward

It is possible that those named by Governor DeSantis as replacements for each of the following judges that have recently retired mid-term will have to face the voters in 2024:

Judge Fine’s replacement

Judge Krieger-Martin’s replacement

Judge Enriquez’ County Court replacement

Judge Hanzman’s replacement (last day was March 31, 2023)

Judge Seraphin’s replacement (last day was April 30, 2023)

Nominees for Judge Fine’s replacement include the following six names. His replacement will be named by DeSantis by no later than May 30.

Christine Bandin

Cristina Correa

Carlos Gamez

Laura Gonzalez

Natalie Moore

Stephanie Silver

Nominees for Judge Krieger-Martin's and Judge Enriquez’ replacements include the following 10 names. Governor DeSantis is expected to name their replacements by no later than by next Friday.

Gilberto Barreto

Heloiza Correa

Rita Cuervo

Kevin Hellmann

Kimberly Hillery

Jennifer Hochstadt

Scott Janowitz

Yara Klukas

Jorge Santiago

Jay Yagoda


Thursday, May 04, 2023




Wednesday, May 03, 2023


 Justice Alito was recently quoted in the WSJ and NY Times as saying that when the Court is attacked, it is the tradition of the legal Bar to come to the aid of the Court, as the justices are prohibited from speaking in their own defense. And as we all know, Supreme Court justices follow the rules governing their own behavior.

Just to be sure we are correct about that, we sent an email to Justice Thomas's chambers to verify our assertion, and received the following response: 

"Thank you for your email to Justice Thomas. He is currently at a three-star Michelin restaurant dinner which is being paid for by the "friends of guns for everyone committee". Unfortunately he will be flying on a private jet to Moscow to provide legal advice to President Putin on circumventing the application of the international financial sanctions. He also is finishing an opinion on the teaching of the flat-world theory and why humans did not evolve from apes. Please feel free to email back at a time more convenient. Also check out his 'Justice Thomas Answers Your Questions on Cameo' where the suggested donation is $500 for the justice to leave the greeting message on your phone voicemail." 

Getting back to Justice natural birth Alito, here is what he was quoted as saying: 

“This type of concerted attack on the court and on individual justices” is, he said, “new during my lifetime.”

He added: “We are being hammered daily, and I think quite unfairly in a lot of instances. And nobody, practically nobody, is defending us. The idea has always been that judges are not supposed to respond to criticisms, but if the courts are being unfairly attacked, the organized bar will come to their defense.”

Of course, maybe why the unprecedented attacks on the court have not heretofore occurred during Alito's lifetime is because the Court has not often overruled sixty years of settled precedent during his lifetime. 

But be that as it may, Alito is right and we are wrong. We have not leapt to the defense of the hapless supreme court justices, who are being attacked and cannot defend themselves while floating on their friends' yachts in the Mediterranean. 

So, being the consummate defense attorney, we, dear friends, step once more into the breach and defend the undefendable with all our considerable skill.  What follows is the defense Alito and his compatriots need and are entitled to. 

Every damn word of it. 


Tuesday, May 02, 2023


 Hollywood Writers Guild has gone on strike. 

We are striking in sympathy. 

What will our robed readers do to occupy their day? 

There's always Solitaire. 

How many of you have seen judges playing Solitaire on the bench? 

We can think of six judges over the years we saw playing Solitaire during a motion or hearing. 

Our best line at a sidebar was "Move the black Ten to the red Jack Judge..." 


Meanwhile we are on DAY THREE of a verdict watch in Tallahassee as Mr. Markus and Ms. Moss anxiously await the verdict in their defense of embattled former gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillium.  The jury ended day one asking the question if they could acquit one defendant and convict the other.  The trial had it all, including NYC River cruises, tickets to Hamilton and FBI agents faking being GF/BF with each other. There was some scintillating Alexander Hamilton cross by Mr. Markus.  He always had some Broadway in him. 

So much for juries understanding the instruction that they have to consider the evidence against each defendant individually.