Sunday, December 31, 2017


We asked all our bloggers to give us their new year's resolutions. First up, our newest member, long a contributor in the comments section: 

1.  To be the father and man my child(ren) think(s) I am.
2.  To better appreciate my family, friends, and job.
3.  To try to be more more patient.
4.  To be less judgmental.
5.  To help fix that which I can.
6.  To learn something new and do it right.
7.  To have more fun!
8.  To get more sleep!
[Rumpole adds, "to get two more resolutions for 2018 to make it an even ten like the rest of the world"].

Next up, our rookie of the year, guaranteed to light up the comments section no matter what she says. She's been the subject of endless speculation, (not to mention a few emails from robed readers with complaints or speculations) the effervescent, but sometimes accused of being effluent, but always energetic- the woman, the myth, the legend (in her own mind for the time being)....


10. Eat more fish and do #meatlessMondays all year;
9. Learn to bake gluten free;
8. Take an art class, once a week for a month;
7. Save 5% of my salary and fund my IRA;
6. Text less;
5. Turn off my phone an hour before bed and read;
4. Buy more books (see #5);
3. Yoga 4x a week (no exceptions for work, trials, etc.) so I can lose those five pounds (sigh);
2. Learn to meditate and then do it everyday;
1. Fill out that "Big Sister" application and be a Big Sister! 

The Original contributor to the blog, the blogger who keeps track of all things election and judicial appointment related, and our go-to guy in a pinch:

El Capitan:

Good evening and thanks for letting me be a part of the Blog for the past 12 years.  Here is my list - hope it's not too late:

New Year’s Resolutions are always easy to write down but so much tougher to follow through with. In the past year I have attended too many funerals of friends and colleagues. With that in mind, I resolve to:

1. Work less.
2. Say thank you more often.
3. Say I love you more often.
4. Stop sweating the little things.
5. Travel even more; (that one finally began in 2017 and I definitely need to take this to the next level).
6. Keep working out at the gym and do so more often; (another one that began in 2017 and I have surprised myself with my commitment and plan on taking this to the next level as well).
7. Use the word "dope" in a blog post; (a friendly dig at our young new blogger Millennial Me)
8. Stop sweating the little things; (by far my toughest one as it’s my worst habit and I need to be reminded at least twice to cut back on this habit).
9. Research our family ancestry; (this one comes from my daughter who encouraged me to do so).
10. Pick up the phone more often and make phone calls to old friends - instead of the quick and easy text.
Cap Out .....

And finally, your humble, award-winning blogger. After much introspection, reflection, and struggle to find any areas of improvement in what is already a life well lived and a blog (exceptionally) well run...we offer this:


10. Be nicer to co-counsel;
9. Clear emails before end of year (did you know if you clear all your emails on Gmail there is a GIF of someone sitting in a beach chair with the words "you're all done" ?)
8. Gym, yoga, or biking every day (El Capitan is right);
7. Do all our Do-lingo App German assignments; 
6. Cook more healthy soups in our Instapot;
5. Go sugar free (no sweeteners other than xylitol, which is all natural and made from tree bark);
4. 8 hours of sleep a night (BTDT is right);
3. Less texting and emails on the phone (MM is right);
2. Recognize now and live in the moment;
1. [this resolution had been removed by the moderator of the blog]

If you want to see a fascinating discussion, look at the prior blog post comments. Meanwhile, it's been a good 2017 and we are looking forward to 2018. There are cases to be won; prosecutors to be crushed; Judges to be mocked, fees to be collected, wines to be drunk, clients to be saved, and blog posts to be written. 

Blog Proprietor. 


Anonymous said...

This year, should I drink more or less coffee?

Rumpole said...

I will handle this. Drink more coffee up to 3-4 cups a day. It lowers your risk of colon cancer and boosts your metabolism. However, let me caution you that by drinking more coffee, I mean black, plain. If you're talking about drinking those 400 calorie starbucks concoctions, then I would limit that to once a week.

Real Fake Former Judge said...

Diet soda, finally- yes or no? I'm downing like a gallon of Diet Pepsi a day. I need to know it's ok.

Anonymous said...

I love Cheetos and Diet Pepsi and what I really like is to crumble the Cheetos over a piping hot pizza, eat is all and guzzle diet Pepsi while sitting home, like MM girl, watching old shows and chilling. I mean...that's dope y'all.

Anonymous said...

If that's the way this is going, then chewey chocolate chip cookies and Orange Juice is what life is all about.

Millennial Me said...

I'm soooo mellow...ate a decent dinner of sautéed mustard greens and tofu in a sweet (meaning nice not sugary) black bean sauce. An OJ/Grapefruit Juice/Bacardis coconut rum in a red plastic cup, and Breaking Bad on the tube, and a Ben and Jerrys calling me. I really don't want to go out. I mean, who gets a good hook-up on NYE? Anyone who's available is usually drunk and won't look good until I get drunk, and then why deal with the misery the next morning?
I'm talking myself into staying in. Walter White just blew up the obnoxious dude's Beemer and he is just the coolest anti-hero there is and I sooo love this show. I can't break away from breaking bad.

Beaming for Beame said...

Rump, Abe Beame was the best Mayor NYC ever had since Koch. Right?

Anonymous said...

I may be in the minority but I'm a big MM fan. She's a breath of fresh air on this blog.

Millennial Me said...

Happy New Year Everyone.
I'm a big fan of Military History, and after pouring through the new Grant Biography, I am now very impressed with Grant's mad skills as a General. I had no idea of his tactical abilities and his fortitude. Dude could bring it.

It's an obvious comparison, but he is very Eisenhower like. The major difference being that Eisenhower went from riding a desk and dealing with logistics after Pearl Harbor, to recommending to Marshal to replacing all the US Generals in England, to be being jumped over a dozen or more superior Generals and given command of the Allied Forces (The English were so impressed with Ike they asked for his appointment). He never directed combat as a general in the field. Grant did, and did it killer. His command of the Battles of Fort Henry and Fort Donaldson gave a good insight to the type of General he would be.

Next up (when I have a moment) My analysis of US General Lloyd Fredendall and his defeat by the Germans at the Battle of the Kasserine Pass. Interesting fact: Fredendall washed out of West Point TWICE before completing college at MIT and then seeking an appointment in the US Army. Kinda wack.

Anyway, HNY peeps. Run on the beach, and then prep work for tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Re 8:34: Abe Beame was the mayor before Koch.

Millennial Me said...

Do Judges understand that they do us no favors by wishing us a happy holidays and then loading up the calendar for Jan 2? My week is a disaster.... (frowny face)...this is gonna take all day and half the night. And I'm still hung over. No love for the law today. But thank you Starbucks THANK YOU or I would not survive today.

Anonymous said...

Rump's deleted resolution #1: blog less.

Unfortunate for us all. What else explains taking on two new bloggers end of 2017?

Baby Boomer Bert said...

Hey Rump, will you give one of your own a vine?
Call me Baby Boomer Bert- BBB. Our parents/Grandparents were the greatest generation. Saved the world from tyranny. Then they had us. We grew up in the suburbs. The planned communities. We all went to college and got professional degrees as doctors, dentists, accountants, lawyers. We were drafted and fought in Vietnam, or we were drafted afterwards and did four despondent years with a military that had just lost a war and Reagan wasn't around yet.
We had the Gen X and Gen Y'ers and they had these self absorbed, spoiled brats called Millennials. Like MM.

I don't care what sex MM, or what she looks like. I could care less. I have no interests in a spoiled woman her age, and I wouldn't waste a Viagra pill (which are very expensive by the way) on her.

I see her lot, trooping into the Justice Building, walking down the middle of the parking lot, not caring there are cars behind them- because they're so self absorbed on their phones, snapchatting or tweeting pictures of themselves going to work holding their Starbucks Vente Lattes.

They have no respect of those who went before them. They are so busy forming companies on-line to deliver pillows, or shoehorns, or Q-tips, and then selling half of it for five million dollars while they sit home and order tons of food from delivery services their friends started. It's all a big scam- a bubble- like their BitCoin. They have no sense of responsibility. There's not a George Herbert Walker Bush- or John Kerry- or John McCain- true American Heroes, among them.

I'm happy my social security payments will bankrupt the system. They think they are so smart, let them develop some stupid App to fix it. Wait until the real responsibility of running the world falls on their shoulders. Then lets see them be so self-absorbed. Meanwhile, I get up every morning, earn a living, and pay off their and their worthless parents college loans, not to mention their cell phone bills.

Anyway, I don't have as much free time as MM to share with the whole world the wonder of my life and my troubles. I don't spend my life saying "look at me!" I just do my job and take care of my family and will do so as long as the Good Lord allows.

But from time to time, if you let me, I will endeavor to answer the spoiled brat's missives.

As we say in MY generation: PEACE.

Anonymous said...

What's a good name for a shoehorn app?

Anonymous said...

MM, I started following you on twitter. My usernamne is 5Kallday.

Seth Sklarey said...

Has anyone received a fee in Bitcoin?

Anonymous said...

I would be salty also if I needed a viagra to crank up my dick. There is new treatment that can help you with that.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, you let BBB through, even though he said he wouldn't waste viagara on MM.

Or was that diatribe supposed to be a parody of your whiny old white guy readers?

Anonymous said...

MM, I just didn't follow you on Twitter. My user name is @seriously?

Anonymous said...

You people our idiots. MM = Rumpole.

Rumpole said...

6:57 I viewed BBB's comment as a self-depreciating comment on his need for erectile dysfunction medicine as a baby boomer, more than a sexist comment, but yes- I'd prefer we didn't go there at all.

Anonymous said...

Ethereum is mooning.

Anonymous said...

No, BBB's comment on MM as a blog contributor was that he wouldn't want to f**k her, not that he couldn't even if he wanted to. He wasn't being self-deprecating; he was being sexist, defined in OED as "Prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex". Here's what BBB said: "I have no interests in a spoiled woman her age, and I wouldn't waste a Viagra pill (which are very expensive by the way) on her." If MM were male, BBB wouldn't have said that he has no interest in f**king MM, even if both were gay. It's a comment made about MM "on the basis of sex." That makes BBB's comment sexist.

BTDT said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BTDT said...

Re BBB's comment:

I share many of BBB's concerns about the millennial generation and its preoccupation with self and entitlements (though I have a greater respect for their ingenuity than BBB does and think we should reserve judgment until they've had ample time to prove their worth).

That said, I can't believe any self-respecting BBer would take pleasure in knowing that his SS payments were going to bankrupt the system. That kind of in-your-face-next-generation-be-damned attitude flies against everything the Greatest and BB generations stand for.

Further, BBB's comment about not wasting a Viagra on MM is as misogynistic as they come and reminds me of the days when many men judged women based on their "doability" alone. The casual, joking nature of the comment makes it worse, not better. Totally unacceptable.


PS---I do not believe MM is a young female lawyer, let alone posting about "her" actual activities and beliefs. But, that doesn't excuse BBB's comments

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of the "underneath their robes" blog. Interesting prediction.