Thursday, December 29, 2011


UPDATE: Go to the comments section and read El Capitan's comment. He has all the breaking news on the Hirsch/ bond hearing/stay away order contretemps.

Maybe it is, and maybe it's not. In any event, 2011 is rapidly drawing to a close.

Look back to December 2010. Did you accomplish all your goals for 2011?
We did not. We never do. And isn't that the point? To live is to continually strive to make yourself a better person. To love more, learn more, and (zen warning) be more.

Lets look at some of our predictions for 2011. Some panned out; some did not.

We predicted that there would be a natural disaster somewhere in the world which would in turn spark a man made disaster. And in fact that came true:

Just turn on your TV and you can't help but seeing Newt Gingrich's fat face everywhere. (Newt was the man made disaster, started by the natural disaster of Sarah Palin being relevant in our nation's life). (If you were thinking about the nuclear meltdown in Japan sparked by the Tsunami, we didn't predict that.)

We predicted the Dolphins would lose two games this year and be a lock to win the Super Bowl.*

For 2012 we confidently predict the following:

The Heat will have another disappointing season and will NOT win a championship. (Like shooting fish in a barrel folks, or appealing a decision from a broweird judge- just way tooo easy.)

In January 2013, the person taking the oath of office for President of the United States will have a wife named Michelle, two daughters and his first name will begin with a B. And it won't be close.

The economy will continue a slow improvement. Stocks will rise modestly.

Another Judge will have the guts and courage and integrity to admit they got their initial decision wrong, as did the Judge in Famous Fee Fiasco of 2011.

This Judge will be promptly snapped up by a large firm who quadruples their salary.

The talent drain on the circuit courts will sadly continue.

The Marlins won't be half bad. The stadium is super cool.

Judge Murphy will continue doing an outstanding job.
Ditto Judges Firtel, Soto, Sayfie, Lopez, Thornton, Bloom, Walsh, and Hirsch. For all the grief we give our robed readers, we as lawyers in Miami are truly lucky to have a core group of outstanding and dedicated judges. We don't say this often (because it gives us indigestion) but - THANK YOU!

Morning Joe will continue to be the best morning show on TV.

The Kindle will continue to be the only way to read, when you're not on your computer reading our blog.

Certain federal bloggers will continue their mighty struggle to be funny.

A certain state court blogger will continue to be quaintly amusing and relevant.

We wish you a Happy and Successful and Healthy 2012 and if you want to be amused, stay relevant and in the know, just keep clicking our blog and reading our posts.

See you in court in 2012.

* Of course we didn't. There's no amount of liquor in the world that would make us that loopy.


Anonymous said...

Rumpy, I thougt you said a few months ago that you had to give up blogging?

Rumpole said...

I do and the clock is ticking.

Blog General Manager said...

Lets go over the blog re-assignments.

I think everyone agrees the new comer of the year is Fake Kenny. His contract is renewed. As is Fake Mr. Justice Milton Hirsch, Fake Alschuler, Fake Alex Michaels, Fake Phil R (who we'd like to see more of) and Fake Adelstein and Matters. Fake Fred Moreno can still post in 2012 as can everyone's favourite Angry Gurl and fake angry gurl, and Fake Tom Risivy and Fake Ted Mastos. All of you will individually be receiving formal notifications.

Not re-newed is RFB and Fake Blecher. Both of them get the boot for their antics up in Pensacola, where they were posting under the name Fake Judge Mirer and got into hot water.

Happy new Year all Blog contributors.

Kenneth Weisman said...

I was delighted to learn of the accolade "new comer of the year". We hope to maintain the same same scintillating discourse that made 2011 such a year of distinction.




Rumpole, I was going to make this a front page post, but didn't want to spoil your end of the year post.

I was listening to the news last night. The story was about two men charged with raping a pregnant woman at Johnson & Wales in North Miami.

The video was the Bond Hearing and the Judge was Milt Hirsch.

I heard Judge Hirsch ask some questions that sounded way out of bounds.

Hirsch: Do you know who the alleged victim in the case in which you are charged is?

Defendant: No sir

Hirsch: You have no idea?

Defendant: No sir


At one point in the questioning, Hirsch asked the defendant WHERE WERE YOU ON DECEMBER 22 (the date of the alleged rape).?

He asked at least one other question that sounded totally inappropriate.

Maybe someone who heard the entire colloquoy can chime in and give our readers some more information.

But, I cannot understand Hirsch asking a question that basically asks: Where were you on the date of a crime that you are alleged to have committed?

In other news:


MIAMI - A Clerk of the Courts employee was arrested Thursday, accused of demanding payment to get a case on the criminal court calendar.

Miami-Dade State Attorney Katherine Fernandez Rundle’s office said Godfrey Mead, an 11-year court employee, offered to have a woman’s traffic ticket situation clarified by putting it on the court calendar for $250.

The State Attorney’s Office said that when asked why she should give him money, Mead said, "It's for my friends."

Prosecutors said Mead issued a written statement in regard to the allegations that said, in part, "Told somebody to give me money to put back on the calendar to get their cases taken (care) of by a judge."

"I have accept money no more than a hundred, no asking willfully," Mead’s statement continued.

Mead faces a second-degree felony charge of unlawful compensation or reward for official behavior. (HT: WPLG).


"Wherever I go these days, someone is bound to ask me how I think the Supreme Court will rule in the challenge to the Affordable Care Act, set for argument over three days during the last week in March. My response, that I expect the court to uphold the law, predictably evokes an expression of disbelief verging on pity for my display of such naïveté. “Won’t the justices just vote their politics?” my questioner invariably asks."

"Well, actually, I don’t think so — even assuming that I knew the conservative justices’ personal views on the individual mandate. (The idea of requiring individuals to carry health insurance was, as an article last week in The American Spectator reminds us, originally cooked up in a conservative think tank. It became anathema to the Right only after the Obama administration embraced it.)"

Read the entire piece here:


Happy Neww year to all the loyal BLOG readers.


Anonymous said...

In response to the questions asked by Judge Hirsch, the Judge refused to issue a stay away order in the rape case because "the defendant doesnt know who the victim is"

No eye on weisman no one cares said...

Don't get your panties in a bunch wesiman, its not yiu, but the guy/gal making fun of you that everybody finds so entertaining. Go back to the forge and stuff your face on snaiils and junk.

Fake Angry Girl said...

I am staying in on New Year's Eve. I hate seeing all the fat people drinking. Don't they know how many calories are in those mixed drinks. Plus, they are all poor and shouldn't be allowed to spend money on anything except health club memberships. As for me, I will be giving myself pure Kona coffee enemas all weekend.

Anonymous said...

That explains many things. Clearly the Clerk's office is hiring illiterates.

Anonymous said...

Milt thinks he is smarter then everyone in every room he is in.
But Milt is a stooge. He will unravel on the bench just as he did in private practice.

As for the clerk. What a fucking moron. For 250 dollars, he lost his job and now he is off to jail.

Anonymous said...

Firtel a good judge. dude i want som of the weed you are smoking rump, it must be fantastic

Anonymous said...

So Mr rumper, you becoming a judge?

Anonymous said...

4:25 Shame on you. You interfered with Captain's favorite past-time of pissing on Judge Hirsch. I assume that the Captain Judge would simply have issued the stay away order. Who cares if the defendant doesn't know who to stay away from.

Anonymous said...

Oh no Junior! Say it ain't so. :(

Rumpole said...

8:43: Longtime and careful blog readers know my long standing policy to accept no appointment below that of the 3rd DCA. We also have a long standing agreement to publicly reveal our identity upon appointment to the 3rd DCA. Until then, no robes for us.

Anonymous said...

The FB- RFB is a little more complicated. On one of the north florida blogs one of them (FB) was posting under a fake Judge's name and saying some very unsavory things, at which point the other knucklehead (RFB) apparently hacked the account of one of the blog moderators and kicked off FB. One of the other moderators, who knew that the hacked moderator was on vacation and thus not on duty became suspicious when the expulsion was announced and called his friend who denied being involved. From there a simple investigation led to the google account of RFB who was kicked off. FB was kicked off for saying some pretty nasty stuff under the fake Judge's name. The whole episode is sordid and quite frankly what does one putz/schlemiel lawyer need with two fakes anyway?

Anonymous said...

To 8;48 , Judge Hirsch did not issue the stay away order because the sub told the judge (upon questioning) that he didn't know who he raped! Apparently that is a new standard in issuing stay away orders. You cant issue one to a sub who hasn't the freakin manners to ask his freakin vic their name.

Fake Tannebaum said...

Good morning legal Miami! I was second at my work Satrbucks today. Fat Joe the guy who delivers the Herald beat me by two minutes so he got the free cup-o-joe. That's what the working guys call it- cup-o-joe, and my work staburcks give the first one away free to the firs customer. I call it a cup-o-joe too to show I am a working stiff "man of the people" lawyer. It makes the Starbucks working stiff crowd impressed.

My barrista Manuel from the Philippines was manning his post and we exchanged hearty good mornings as he prepared my drink. I inquired after his elderly mother and asked about his daughter in high school, thereby showing once again that I take an interest in the lives of those who serve me.

Having insured that everyone was suitably impressed with 1) my work ethic by being at SBs at 6am; 2) my knowledge of the working proletariat and their lives; 3) My fancy new shoes; I bid adieu to starbucks and went to my spacious office where half of last night's free cell double deck awaited me.

Another day being me!

Anonymous said...


ST 2011 said...

Last Shumie Time of the year and I'm calling this puppy now. First! and Last!

Anonymous said...

Objection to the ST. Can't call it before work has even started. A ruling please.

shumie time referee said...

There has been an objection to the ST. The S is under review.

Meanwhile, how funny is that fake Tannebaum guy?

Anonymous said...

great prediction on federal blogger trying be funny. that dude is like the stand up comic who tells jokes and no ones laughs

Anonymous said...

Any coincidence that all of the judges you praised are former defense attorneys? Naaaaahhhhh....

Anonymous said...

Didn't the prosecutor know the victim's name? They are the ones who tell the bond judge to issue a stay away order keeping the defendant away from whatever the name of the victim is.

Anonymous said...

How about someone posting the actual words Justice Hirsch used and stopping all the guesswork.

shumie time ref said...

After furter review the ST stands. While it is normally improper to call a ST at 8 am Friday is the last work day of the year. Arguably many people take this day off completely. There not being sufficient evidence to justify the ST being over turned , the initial ST stands.

Rumpole said...

Wrong jackass. Firtel and Murphy were cvil attys, Firtel was a county atty I believe. And If I'm not mistaken, Soto was a former ASA. I would have said Bob Scola, but he went to the feds. Who would you choose? A lot of judges who were asa's are in county court. Like Bill Altfield and Dawn Denaro. But in thinking about it, we didn't mention Joe Fernandez who does a great job and was both a former asa and def atty. We are firmly on the record as stating former prosecutors make the best judges.

Anonymous said...

The victim's name is written on the back of the A-Form. Not issuing a stay away order because the defendant doesn't know the victim makes no sense. Stay away orders are issued in all cases involving a victim, violent or non-violent.

Not issuing a stay away order because the defendant doesn't know the victim sounds like Hirsch trying to be innovative. It didn't work granting those 893 motions and it won't work by denying a stay away order to a rape victim.

Don't reinvent the wheel. You're a bright guy but follow the law.

Anonymous said...

If the guy doesn't know who the woman is, how will he know who to stay away from?
If he sees a woman at the store:
"Hi, how it goin' Wazz your name?"
"jane Doe"
"oh shizzz, you the chick i charged with rapin' I gots to stay away from you. I didnt know that wuz ur name."

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, let's review the names of the judges you have quoted as doing an "excellent job", shall we?
1) Murphy--was a civil DEFENSE attorney for over 17 years before taking the bench
2) Firtel--was an Assistant City Attorney before going into private practice as a DEFENSE attorney
3) Soto--was an ASA for a minute and a half before going into private practice as a DEFENSE attorney
4) Sayfie--was an Assistant Public Defender her entire legal career
5) Thornton--started his career as an ASA but then practiced criminal defense for years until he was appointed to the bench by Gov. Crist.
6)Walsh--was an Assistant Public Defender her entire legal career
7)Hirsch--another one who started out as an ASA, but after 3 years he was out and practicing state and federal criminal defense until he ran unopposed for election.
8)Lopez--was a general practitioner for 13 years before running for judge who practiced, among other things, criminal DEFENSE.
Only one of the 9 judges you lauded were not criminal defense attorneys. Bloom was a civil lawyer for the minimum requesite time before she became a county court judge (and there was a lot of controversy at the time she ran, because most people felt she was too young and not experienced enough to be a judge).

You might want to think about why you're so defensive and testy about being called out on the judges you think are the best--is it because you're biased? And pray tell, please link us to the posts where you are "firmly on the record as stating former prosecutors make the best judges". If you can do that, I will certainly apologize for doubting your motives. But next time do your homework before you call someone a jackass.

Rumpole said...

If you regularly read the blog then you would know we do not shill for defense attorneys, which is what your comment. Implies. You would also know we spent wel over two years promoting the candidacy of asa Bill Altfield who befpre we started couldn't even get an interview with the JNC much less a nomination. And finally, drawing a comparison between a civil defense attorney and a criminal defense attorney is as useful as comparing pigs to stingrays. They really don't inhabit the same enviroments and rarely cross paths. So we are left with one long time pd and a bunch o former asas and a gaggle of civil hacks.

Rumpole said...

In our defense, we wrote the last comment on our iPhone on a ski lift.

Anonymous said...

the Judge knew the name of the rape victim. if you listen to the tape, the prosecutor gave him a stay away order to sign with the victim's name on it. He refused and started asking those idiotic questions to the defendant. He has denied numerous sao's because he thinks that sao's are only for people that know each other.
Enough already......

Anonymous said...

And by the way, defendant number three in the rape case was arrested yesterday and guess what the Judge in Bond court did today......He issued the sao without being asked. Yes you are correct in your assumption. The Judge wasnt Judge Hirsh.

D. STEWART said...

Just wanted to post this link in regards to Terlesa Cowart, court reporter.


Hope that's allowed. It says what I think any court reporter in Dade was thinking, but is so tired of saying.

Anonymous said...

Someone please, please against and beat Judge Sayfie when she's up for re-election. One can only hope!