Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Longtime and careful readers of the blog may remember when we commented on the efficient system the clerk's office has for retrieving files so that attorneys may review them. Who among us has not been in court and received a lecture from a Judge about how when s/he was a lawyer they always pulled every file they were handling from the clerk's office once a week?

At the time we reminded everyone of the procedure as it then existed:

1)Go to your local library and obtain a copy of War and Peace and Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.
2) Go to the REGJB and proceed to the 9th floor and head to the attorneys room. If you're in luck, there are only two people ahead of you.
3) Open War and Peace.
4) By the time you are half way done, the clerk will have efficiently handled the two people ahead of you and pleasantly inquire how they can help you.
5) Give the clerk the case number of the file you wish to review. The clerk will type something into a computer, squint as if the reply is in ancient Korean, and leave.
6) Finish War and Peace and begin Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.
7) The Clerk will return to inform you that the file is "out". Who knew that files had a better social life than most lawyers in the REGJB? These files get around, and probably the one place on earth they will not be is on the shelf in the clerk's office.

From a recent NY Times article: "Nato Forces stopped a Taliban convoy on the Kabul-Jalabadad Road today and found a cache of weapons and several felony files belonging to a division of criminal court in Miami presided over by a 'Judge Firtel'. Authorities were investigating how the Taliban obtained the weapons."

8) Rinse and repeat.

Now however, things have gotten weirder.

After several emails and complaints from alert readers, we have pieced together this information:

The powers that be have decided to put up a fresh coat of paint and some new furniture in the attorneys room of the REGJB. However, this has created some unknown force field which now prevents clerks who are assigned to that room from leaving to get files. Clerks not currently entrapped in the force field can enter and leave at will. But clerks in the attorney room cannot currently leave the room, necessitating aid in the form of supply drops by air from the aforementioned NATO troops who keep finding our files in Afghanistan.

This is 100% true: If you now go to the attorneys' room on the 9th floor you will be greeted by fresh paint and a helpful clerk, who will inform you that you can look at the files in the room, but you cannot request the files from the room. This is because of the aforementioned force field.

Here is how it goes:

Rumpole: I'd like to see a file please.

Clerk: Great. Just fill out this form, walk back down the hall to room 9000, wait in that long line with the rest of the sweating and lost masses, and hand in your file request form. Then the clerk will go get the file and you need to come back here to review it.

Rumpole: Huh?

Clerk: Great. Just fill out this form...

Rumpole: I heard you. I just don't understand. Why can't you go get the files? I can see some right over your shoulder, right there, about twenty feet away?

Clerk: Sir! We have remodeled this room!

Rumpole: Yesssss......I can see that. But why can't you just go get the file like you used to do all these years? I have my books with me right here.

Clerk: We can't leave here to get the file. You have to go to room 9000 and the clerk there will get the file and bring it here.

Rumpole: So they can enter and leave the force field area, but you are stuck?

Clerk: By jove I think you've got it!

So there you have it folks. The new and improved system for reviewing felony files.

See You In Court, and on some long hopeless line on the 9th floor. I'm the guy reading War and Peace. Again.


Anonymous said...

Just got the new 1500+ page Bugliosi book about Dallas/1963.

The old works, however great, have been read by both of us. Let us start anew.

Care to meet at the clerk's office for a book review + debate? I know that you are a multi-killer / conspirator apologist. I am bound by logic and facts - and the late L. H. Oswald.

Name the date.

Anonymous said...

How much is the county paying for that furniture and paint? Is the county paying way more than retail as usual?

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, if you think you can do a better job, why do you not run for Clerk? You have many opinions, but not enough balls to fix the problems.

Stop being a Bitch and put your neck on the line baby!

Anonymous said...

well thank god mcgillis is running for clerk "may the force be with him".

Anonymous said...

Number 1!!

This is true, but you forgot to mention that while the telephone in the attorney room has been ripped off the wall, they have purchased new chairs for the clerks that have cushions which almost match the carpet. Progress.

Rumpole said...

Old Guy- November 22 would seem an appropriate date. You are bound by logic and a super magic indestructible bullet, not to mention impossible timing, and ...you know the rest.

With all due respect to Mr. Bugliosi, his lengthy book is mostly a re-tread of arguments already made.

On another subject, I heartily recommend AGENT ZIGZAG by Ben Macintyre. The true story of a British/Nazi double agent. Just released, a quick and fun read.

To 11:55: If YOU think YOU can do a better job, YOU run your own blog.

I adhere the the well known principle that those that can- do. Those that can't- run a blog.

Anonymous said...

The only thing worse than having to go through another OJ cas is listening to that moron Yale embarassing us all from Miami.

Anonymous said...

Rump- I herewith tender my resignation as Real Fake Blecher. I have received another offer from another blog, to be, get this- Real Fake Professor Erwin Cherminisky, the legal guru from Duke law school. More money, better gigs, better story line. I'm outta here. Thanks for the vine.


Anonymous said...

Heard that blonde haired girl showed up at OJs bond hearing today and asked for a reset because Yale was in Federal Court.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, that PD in Bloom, with the long black hair. I'm in Love. Help.

Anonymous said...

Rump! In the first Hagler/Hearns fight, did you know 165 punches were thrown in 180 seconds? What a round!!!!

Anonymous said...

Not to start rumors but when Darrin McGillis takes over as clerk I think the curtins will at least match...does the Clerks office have a don't ask don't tell policy?

Brought to you by rumor control. Copyright 2007.

Anonymous said...

Dear RFB (aka 8:43am),

I know Erwin Chermerinsky. Erwin Chermerinsky is a friend of mine. You, real or fake Blecher, are NO Erwin Chermerinsky.

Anonymous said...

i am getting very tired that the police turn every funeral as if they are military. lets get real, forget the salutes,flyovers, and the other effects that mimic the military service.

Anonymous said...

Harvey Rubin has never had a serious challenge for Clerk of Courts. The folks employed by the Clerk’s office genuinely think they are doing you a favor when you ask them for a file or any other mundane request. They forget they are public servants, and their job depends on the public coffers. Forget about providing services to attorneys, let alone courteous attention, everyone gets treated with the same lack of courtesy. Forget about asking for anything a little out of the ordinary or which requires any degree of attention or effort because they will give you the old shuffle. I have seen members of the public treated with such disrespect it makes you wonder who is training of hiring these individuals to work in the clerk’s office. So here is what I propose, let’s find a suitable candidate for the position of Clerk of Courts and OUST HARVEY RUBIN! I propose Jose Sanchez-Gronlier, Esq., a former employee of the Clerks of Courts Office. How about it guys, you want respect?

Anonymous said...

Ancient Korean...what's that? I hope you're not talking about my mother, Rumpole!

Barnaby Min

Anonymous said...

That's real funny, Barnaby. Clever guy you are.

Anonymous said...

And why do you have to squint to read Korean?


Anonymous said...

Rumpola- here is you 3PM Blog Update:

Jimbo Best NOT in trial.
Real Fake Blecher has resigned from the blog.
OJ getting out on bond.
Galenter in Las Vegas

Judge Adrien finishing up arraignments and AC calendar.

Anonymous said...

Lucian Ferster, coming with the real name NOW. Mr. bad ass, Luke Ferster.

you know who

Anonymous said...

Why does a legal court show aimed at hispanic housewives like Cristina Shuminer's new TV show have theme music from NWA's "pimpin da house"?? It was shocking to say the least.

Anonymous said...

Jose Sanchez-Gronlier, Esq. would indeed, provide "justice at the human level." He would be an exellent Clerk of Courts!! Remember, Clerk of Courts is one of only three partisian races, county wide. Therefore, you must be a Dem. to win in Dade. Go Gronlier Go.

Anonymous said...

Yale Yale he's our man
if he can't walk OJ
No One can.

Yale and OJ- will be rollin with Nolan every Monday on Sirrus Satelite 124 at 7pm.

Anonymous said...

Luke Ferster is a self-righteous clown. Writing about "hacks" that "manipulate" our " Balkanized city"! You are a joke, Luke.

Get that fucking Greek Communist Party banner off your wall at the PDO, you smirking little welfare case.

Anonymous said...

Rumpy, its the badunkadunk on Blooms PD that drives me crazy.

Anonymous said...

The Clerk's Office took a plunge in quality with Harvey Ruvin. It was run better by Richard P. Brinker and Marshall Ader.

Anonymous said...

Those filed in Fierro's seat need to hold their breath. Seems a significant female family lawyer is gearing up to enter the race AND STAY THERE, regardless of what Fierro does.

Anonymous said...

thank goodness we have found a replacement for the dearly departed ellis rubin in galanter. he does these for the publicity and never has gotten a dime from OJ.

Anonymous said...

Look around.

The clerk in Miami does a good job.

Would you like it better if it was run like the mess in Broward?

Anonymous said...

"Get that fucking Greek Communist Party banner off your wall at the PDO, you smirking little welfare case."

who ever wrote that line is a fucking savage. i must say it was a good one..

Anonymous said...

405 pm, you could not be more wrong. The Theme Song for Cristina Pereya's new show is Fergalicious

Anonymous said...

Rumpole: 9PM Blog Update:

Judge Adrien has plowed through his miscellaneous calendar and is now starting to call the trial calendar. What a great Judge!!!

Yale and The Juice are winging their way home on a US Ariways flight which will land at Ft Lauderdale at 11:30 PM . Police are on hand to control the crowd of well wishers.

Anonymous said...

If Yale is doing the O.J. for the publicity, he has broken the American celebrity news bank. The camera time to actual legal work accomplished in this case is like none I could have ever hoped to achieve and, believe me, I tried very hard. This case makes me want to come back from the dead.

Anonymous said...

most annoying thing about clerks office is during the holiday season all the clerks say merry christmas to everyone. 320 days a year these same people are the snarling nasty people who tell you "no no no" to the simplest request. they glare at you when you want to see a file.

i have an idea. how about all these clerks give up the phony the merry christmas bullshit and actually act like humans the rest of the year?

Anonymous said...

Read the Broward Blog- Galanter raced to Las Vegas and left a client in a rape trial all by himself. Galanter has to pay the travel expenses of the 15 year old victim who flew in for the trial.

This is nothing new for Galanter. He has a habit of leaving clients in the lurch and not showing up for trial and sending his inexperienced flunky. He has done it in Miami with disasterous outcomes for the clients. He is a fraud and a fake, and if this case goes to trial, he will get his head handed to him.

Anonymous said...


This is not the first time I have had to provide you with accurate information; (ie the interpreter column).

According to the Clerk's office, (I spoke with them today), Director of the Division in charge of those that work the windows on the 9th floor, both for the public as well as for the attorneys, probation officers, etc., the procedures for obtaining a file and viewing the file WILL return to normal on either Friday or Monday.

It is true that the office was undergoing a makeover and that this makeover did cause an inconvenience for the attorneys, but it is NOT a permanent fixture.

Also, I spoke with the Clerk about their policies reference waiting times. I received a commitment from this person that, once the regular system is back in place, that if there are more than three people waiting for assistance in the attorney's window line, that a second clerk should come over and assist the other clerk at the window. If you continue to encounter this problem, and do not see a change in the speed and efficiency of the clerks, please let me know and I will talk to them again.

While I have your attention, some other important issues were discussed at the FACDL Board of Directors Meeting tonight.

1. Drug Court has reopened their doors for business. At one point, they had exceeded 2,200 defendants being monitored through the program. Judge Rosinek was forced to stop admitting any new cases. He was able to reduce his caseload to about 1,700 and therefore, is able to take on new cases. I do not know how long this will last, as he is already back up to nearly 2,000 since his reopening of the program.

2. If you have a client charged with a drug offense where the statute calls for a two year license suspension, expect that suspension to in fact be placed on the defendant's license from now on. In the past, paperwork was not being filled out and sent to Tallahassee and DHSMV was not being informed, so frequently, the defendant did not get the 2 year suspension. Clerks have been instructed to fill out the proper paperwork and make sure it gets to DHSMV.

3. Through the dedicated efforts of Judge Blake, other Judges, members of the SAO and PDO, and others, it appears that the Dade County Commission will continue their funding of boot camp. The announcement could come as early as Thursday evening at the Commission's Budget hearings.

4. Finally, expect to see some major changes with Bond Hearings. Anyone who goes to them knows that they have been sometimes lasting several hours, even into the evening. After lenghthy discussions with all involved including the Judges, SAO, PDO, FACDL, corrections, law enforcement, pretrial release, and others, we could see a change in the next few weeks. Expect two separate bond hearing calendars to run simultaneously; one for felonies and one for misdemeanors. Details are still being worked out.

That's all for now Horace. Keep up the good work.

Rick Freedman

Anonymous said...


McGuillis seen at South Dade Court Today.

Captain, any word as to why and what was the outcome?

Please advise.

Anonymous said...

Luke Ferster is a gentleman and a professional. Any person who is charged with a crime and gets Luke as his attorney, should count his lucky stars. I tried several cases against him and he was always prepared and awesome in trial.

E. Garcia!!

Anonymous said...

Did Yale Galander play center for the Buffalo Bills when OJ was quarterback?