Friday, September 07, 2007


Longtime and careful readers of our humble blog know that we like to reserve Fridays for political discussions. We started the NFL season 2-0: we said take the Colts -5.5 and under 52. Recall that we liked the point spread a lot, and the under less so. The Colts won by 31 points, and under won by 1 point. As we tried to tell Mr. Markus yesterday, leave the betting to the Professionals and concentrate on shepardizing those footnotes in the Harvard Law Review. Your clients are CEO’s while our clients have names like “Tony no nose” or “El Gordo” and the preparation for representing them is vastly different. You need to know the proposed changes to money laundering guidelines, while we need to know why there was too much layoff action out of New Jersey on the Arizona State Game.

As we prepare for our first big NFL Sunday this year, we take a break from tracking the betting lines to a more serious subject.

September brings the sixth anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the U.S along with the much anticipated report on the surge of troops in Iraq. September also brings the release of "Dead Certain" a new book in which the author, Robert Draper, a certified good ol’ Texan, had access to President Bush during his term. There was a little bit of rough going in the beginning when the President screamed and the Secret Service wrestled Draper to the ground. But it was quickly determined that Draper was carrying a book, and the President, unfamiliar with the object, got justifiably nervous.

We learned from Dead Certain that the now infamous policy of “de-bathifying” Iraq- disbanding the Bath Party and the infrastructure of armed bureaucrats that ran the country, which had the effect of driving hundreds of thousands of armed and angry unemployed men into the arms of Al Queda- was in effect, a big “woops.”

Bush has stated that he was not told of the policy. The book quotes Paul Bremer, the first US installed “Shah of Iraq” as saying that he sent the President and Rumsfeld a memo stating his intent “to drive the general population into the arms of our enemy.

And there of course is the problem. “Memos are for woosies” as Rumsfeld often told the President. As such, the President didn’t read the memo, and Rumfeld, as was his habit, ripped the memo into small pieces and shot spit balls at Condoleeza Rice and Scooter Libby during cabinet meetings.

All of this background brings us to September and the question of what do we do now? As is usually the case, the answer can be found in history, and unfortunately, it is not pretty. In March of 1973, as the US pulled out of Vietnam (“sorry folks, we uhh…made a small mistake. We bombed your cities and dropped agent orange on your jungles, but hey- mistakes happen.”) the largest holocaust nobody wanted to talk about was about to occur. Pol Pot began preparations to murder a few million of his country men in Cambodia, and the North Vietnamese Communist began to plot retribution again their countrymen in South. There is a rumor that Doug Kenny and Harold Ramis, who co-wrote the screen play for Animal House, actually used the withdrawl from Vietnam as their muse: When Flounder's brother’s car is wrecked after a road trip, Bluto (John Belushi) says “ You fucked up. You trusted us.”

The point is that just because we have a bunch of incompetent pathos- driven politicians running this war, does not mean that the best solution is to pack up and leave. It is a fact that more Americans have now died in the aftermath of invading Iraq then died on September 11, 2001. And it is true that the entire might of the American Armed Forces cannot locate, let alone capture, a 6 foot 7 inch tall Arab with a long flowing beard and a kidney disease that requires dialysis on a weekly basis. But that should not mask the underlying problem: Al Queda terrorists want to kill as many of us as possible. If they could explode a nuclear weapon on our soil, or the soil of other western infidel nations, they would. And it just so happens that the country currently producing IED’s (the roadside bombs that kill our soldiers) on a Henry Ford inspired production line- Iran, is actually developing a nuclear bomb.

In Bush’s defense, one of those historical Oval Office dramatic moments is depicted in the book Dead Certain:

Bush:“I told Rumsfeld Iran damnit, Iran, and the idiot didn’t read the memo as usual, and invaded Iraq instead.

Cheney: [Cracking open a walnut on Scooter Libby’s head as Libby sits at his master’s feet] : “You sure did boss. I heard you say it.”

Bush: [Taking the walnut and flipping it to Barney, his dog] : As we say on the ranch- “right war, wrong country”. “When we wuz growing up mah Daddy use to tell Jeb ‘Close don’t count cept in horseshoes and hand grenades.’ and we gotta bunch o hand grenades over there anyways.”

Cheney: “Go getem boss. You a war time President.”

Bringing our soldiers home will not make Al Queda go away. There are bad and crazy people in the world that we must deal with. Once we take care of the dozen or so working at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, we need to turn our attention to the rest of them.

See You In Court Monday, where hopefully we will go something like 7-2 on Sunday


Anonymous said...

Whatever Rumpole, there's no threat from Islam to the West, just the West using it as a reason to perpetuate racism against the brown and black peoples of the earth.

Rumpole said...

Islam is a religion of peace, preverted by lunatics. Any religious fanatic is dangerous and the post did not for one second paint Islam as the problem, as it is not.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Islam is a "religon of piece."

(Sound of bomb going off)

See. There is a little piece of you over here and another piece of over there and third over there.

Anonymous said...

darrin mcgillis the clerk of the circuit court ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha HA HA HA ! That's funny

Anonymous said...

You guys have to see this:

Anonymous said...

Islam actaully means "submission", not "peace", though if you submit to Islam you'll have peace.

Anonymous said...

"Shumie at Christys" was a 7500 word article in a Herald Sunday Magazine that was optioned for a made for TV movie starring Christopher Walken as Shumie.

but the movie was never made.

Anonymous said...

i hear that Judge David Young's first "case with a snap" will involve the infamous Case of the Underdone Shumie Tartare. The case will make great t.v as Shumie himself, appearing as Defendant, the bubbly waiter from Christy's, Ramon, and Judge Young break out into a lively medley from Rochelle, Rochelle.

Word on the street is that Mel Brooks is looking at Shumie as the new Max Bialystock in a re-re-re make of The Producers. Stay Tuned!!!

Anonymous said...

Judge Young's show starts on Mon., Sept 10 and can be seen locally on Channel 33 at 1pm daily.

Anonymous said...

It doesn't matter whether Islam is or is not a religion of peace. I personally do not believe it is or ever was. however, what is important is that whoever convinced the Islamic masses that the goal was to die (i.e become a martyr) really screwed up the world. In Judaism, life is the most respected thing. In Christianity, life is the most respected thing. in atheism, life is the most respected thing. In Islam, people crave death, and hope to take others with them. Whether that is how the religion is suppossed to be or not, there are huge masses of people who believe that.

Anonymous said...

None of the Abrahamic religions are peaceful. Torah is replete with god sanctioned incest and murder. Revelations is filled with horror upon horror. The Koran, returning to the Israelites god of war, was a battle cry for a small group of Arabs to conquer there world.

What was the age of Mohammed's youngest wife.

What is the punishment for a muslim who converts to any other religion?

Quibbles? What is the number of countries that are both democratic and muslim?

Anonymous said...

Hilly Moldof appointed to the vacancy left by Jorge Perez

Anonymous said...

dear, judge young and his production staff:

please oh please let mcgillis sue rumpole in your court. allow rumpole to telephone in and testify without his name ever being known.

now thats great TV.

Anonymous said...

OU will beat Miami tomorrow.



If you think we have some looney judges, you haven't seen anything.

Take a look at the story of Seminole County Judge Ralph Eriksson.

When a janitor stood before the Judge last year, unable to hear what was going on and confused about why his attorney hadn't filed some paperwork, the judge ordered him to jail.

A year later, when a 22-year-old waiter asked the same judge to recuse himself, Eriksson sent him to jail, too.

On Thursday, the state agency that disciplines judges formally charged Eriksson with official misconduct. In those two cases, the judge was "punitive and vindictive," abusing his power to hurt men who were only trying to exercise legitimate legal rights, according to the charges leveled by the Judicial Qualifications Commission.

Read the entire story here:


This is exactly the type of Judge that should be FIRED.


Anonymous said...

Is anyone else out there kinda tired of the Captain? Some good info, but just annoying.

Anonymous said...

Who is your vote for sleeziest prosecutor and defense attorney. In defense attorney category: Jonathan Schwartz

Anonymous said...

Schwartz? Sleazy? Far from it? There's a wide misperception regarding the myth and reality? Ask any of the slew of lawyers who are his former Associates. There's a lot of hype and bullshit in this building. Strange, Aloof, Eccentric, perhaps... sleazy... I don't think so.

Anonymous said...

2:50 and 6:43 - your silly American (Christian) biases and
subconscious has gotten the better
of you all. Islam, like any other
religion, has lunatics as followers.

Slave traffickers were Christians, right? Native American killers
were Christian, right? So-called
Christians committed genocide on
Africans and Native Americans,

Southern bigots (claiming to be
Christians) routinely lynched
Black Americans. Christian lunatics
like McVeigh have killed countless
Americans. Does this mean all Christians are violent and crazy?
Ofcourse not.

Study your facts and you will see
that Christianity has been just as
or more violent than Islam has.
Its not the religion that causes
violence and destruction, its the people.

Anonymous said...

I think this is a serious question: Does Islam promote violent allegiance more so than has Christianity or Judaism did in the past? Is there more textual support for righteous holy war in the Koran as told my Muhammad than the books from Moses and Jesus and their followers?

Anonymous said...

11:22 you are correct. however, the problem is Islam TODAY. Live in the present not yesterday.

Anonymous said...

Islam has drawn together a vast array of Middle-East and Asian peoples and cultures and countries. Many of them share similar political and economic troubles. The Denied, Downrodden and Dispossessed are rebelling and merely using the rhetoric of Islam to further their violent and revolutionary goals because it is the language their culture's now speak. Islam's texts, in and of themselves, however, are not essentially more violent than other religious texts.