JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG

WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM. Winner of the prestigious Cushing Left Anterior Descending Artery Award.

Saturday, July 23, 2022

A BAD DATE

UPDATE: The Hanzman order on lawyers not having to wear suits and ties which is setting the Internet ablaze is below. Also breaking news: Former Judge Jon Colby will be returning Ali-like to the ring/bench to help Judge H adjudicate the Surfside damages awards. And Judge Colby is, like many in this tragic case, donating his time to help get these cases closed and money into the hands of the families.  

We have long eschewed forays into Civil Law, feeling lengthy motions to compel answers to a fourth set of interrogatories were just not compelling (bad pun). 

But we are rethinking the matter after watching the video of a pretrial hearing in Detroit where a woman was suing a man after a bad first date. 

Scroll ahead to about a minute and you will see the whole hearing. 

The first issue is communication-good communication is the most important thing in a successful case. Thus the issue of "justiciable" versus "permissible" rears its head as our hero judge tries to patiently explain to the aggrieved plaintiff that her issue isn't justiciable in the court he sits in.  But she hears "permissible" (the dangers of pro se reputation) and they are off to the races, including a very long and contentious exchange over what is and what is not perjury. 

Query: How many of you robed readers would have tolerated the barrage of "are we done here?" queries from the plaintiff, who was being downright rude. The patience of this Michigan jurist - Herman Marble Jr., rivals that of even our newly sainted civil judge whose "don't let great stand in the way of good" saying is sweeping into the far reaches of the internet. 

No matters what happens in this case of the century, Judge Marble is our new breakout star of the summer of 2022. Seemingly unflappable, he handles a contentious plaintiff who he cannot mute on zoom, and an equally sippy clerk who chastises him for not understanding how zoom works And through it all Judge Marble doesn't lose his marbles (we couldn't resist- sorry).  Kudos btw to the judge for wearing a face shield in court, although he does take it off at some point. And isn't a messy desk a sign of a busy and happy judge? We think so.  Time for some pro hac vice into Detroit- we gotta get into some motions before our new favourite Judge. 

Meanwhile what about our defendant? This poor guy just wanted a nice night out. A pizza, maybe a glass of wine, a stroll down by the GM plant, perhaps some canoodling at the end. But what did he get for his erstwhile romantic efforts?  A summons and complaint- that's what he got. The dangers of dating in 2022- almost enough to make a Netflix night even more compelling. 

So here it is- the case that may finally drag Rumpole into the wilds of civil court- summary judgment, justiciable issues, transfers to different courts, blistering arguments over perjury- bring it on! We are ready. 




PS- Guess what guys? We checked and believe it or not, the plaintiff is still single and available.

Hanzman Order On No Suits and Ties

Order 7-21-2025 (1) by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

62 comments:

Anonymous said...

Where is Judge Margolius when you need him

Anonymous said...

Here's one more reason why Hanzman is the best judge around: https://ctsreceivership.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/2022-07-21_-_SUA_SPONTE_ORDER_Setting_Claims_Process_Hearings_07-25-22_through_08-26-22.pdf

Anonymous said...

Hanzman goes no suit and ties a decade after Rumpole has been demanding it. Little recompense - we all know how he would have responded to the plaintiff in the video. And it wouldn’t have been pretty. So now you can wear your tommy bahamas before the big H while asking for twenty five mill for your client. BFD. Bring in Judge Marble. He da man with a plan Stan.

Anonymous said...

The order is total pandering to the “woke” “#metoo” genx lib global warming crowd. Someone must have an election looming and with all the so so press - maybe he’s a bit worried. What’s next - “Lawyers and litigants are encouraged to order Uber eats and binge watch Khardashian videos on court provided Netflix accounts while waiting for their cases to be called “ Mike Hanz electronically signed order.

Anonymous said...

Omg rump please post the order. A total pandering to the public job by a guy who thinks he’s smarter than everyone else. Give me a break puhleeeese.

Anonymous said...

Finally a judge gets it right. Let’s hear it for the Hanz. Let’s give the man a hand.

Real fake judge margolius said...

No suit. No tie? No ticky no laundry. No suit no court case. Are you f’ing kidding me? I don’t let lawyers talk in my court. I once held two people in Contempt for for using sign language during a court proceeding.
No suit no tie no f ing way are you in my court. What weak willed punk signed that order ? Judge Judy? Judge big mouth Marilyn ?
So glad I got out when the getting was good.

Anonymous said...

Really rump? The guy donated all his talent and brain power to help people and you let those comments up? Come on man. He should be given a knighthood by the queen. Put on the 11th circuit and the Fla Supreme Court simultaneously- and he could do both jobs and he will tell you so. Biden should put him in charge of inflation and COVID. F Fauci. Hanzman is the man. Trump will put him on the Supreme Court. Clinton would make him Secretary of State. All you naysayers are just jealous fools. E quiet no be gone you bad spirits-

Anonymous said...

Post the order. Can’t open the link. Please Rumpole. We LOVE the Hanzman. First class.

Anonymous said...

Hanzy has no courage- he calls it a "summer heat wave" when we all know it is global warming but he doesn't want to piss off the republican vote. Come on man- take a stand

Anonymous said...

That must have been one bad date! Psycho woman.

Anonymous said...

And he did it sua sponte!

Anonymous said...

Judge Hanzman is our HERO. He sets the example for all jurists. Come on you others on the bench - copy and paste this amazing Order and do the right thing. Casual clothing for the summer season. It is humane. God bless Hanzy. Hey Judge Moreno … you must adopt this Order in Federal Court.

Anonymous said...

Thrilled about Judge Jonathan Colby coming back to work. He is doing this pro bono? A perfect team to complete this tragedy on a high note. Like 9-11. Bravo to Judges H and C. Touch of class. What a case.

Anonymous said...

Hey Rump, get with the times. Six months ago I would have been with you all the way on a Netflix night. But I have a young girlfriend and am learning very fast that Netflix is yesterday's news. On a slow Saturday night, you sit around watching Hulu and laughing at Tik Tok videos. And oh yeah, having to explain who Gordon Liddy was. At. the end of the night and after your 5th glass of wine, the inevitable, "you know something, you're boring."

Anonymous said...

Handy does nothing sua sponte . Not even a trip to the head. He eats a slice of pizza with a fork and knife. He golfs in a suit and tie. He wears a sport jacket to the movies and hemmed Bermuda shorts to the pool.

Anonymous said...

I thought Colby lived in the Midwest and managed a string of chicken delight outlets.

Anonymous said...

So? Want fries with that? doesn’t prohibit you from calculating damages for a lost parent. Cleaning the soda machine doesn’t mean you can’t also figure out compensatory damages for the loss of your prized backgammon board, your camp chickawaka photo album from 1982 and other prized possessions.

Justice Brandis ran a bar and grill over the summer recess. Justice O’Connor did the dishes and always cooked the Sunday roast. Why can’t a fast food chicken guy help out the big kahunna ?

Anonymous said...

Wow. I loved Camp Chickawaka - lost my virginity to a 19 year old summer camp counselor who wore tight jean shorts and tank tops and had jet black hair to her waist. Roselyn. What a hottie.

Anonymous said...

The Big Kahuna. Love that name for Hanzy.

Anonymous said...

Give me a fing break. Nobody does nuthin for freebies. The lawyers are gonna get a hundred mil. Down from 333 mill but still nuthun to sneeze at. These judges are all gonna be well compensated. Who pays for food room board transportation to courthouse dry cleaning for robes the Starbucks and muffin in the morning the dinners at Chili’s? These judges are raking it in. Freebie trips to Disney for “conferences “. It’s all a big scam. User fees. File fees. Clerk fees. Email fees. Storage fees. Gas fees. Miscellaneous expenses probably a million will be washed through misc expenses on the trust account sheets. I’ve seen it all. Don’t trust a guy who says he’s not being paid. He’s being paid trust me.

Anonymous said...

I wish Hanzman and Colby came to criminal court after the Surfside collapse class action trial. I hate wearing a tie in 90 degree Miami summer.

First class fellas.

Hanzman should be President instead of “Let’s Go Brandon!”

Anonymous said...

Hanzman is pandering to lawyers that appear before him. This is because he has been abusive in the past and doesn't want to end up being disciplined in front of the Florida Supreme Court. The age-old axiom says that you can change the stripes on a tiger.

Anonymous said...

Hanzy and Coco should share a division like Altfield and Cruz.

Anonymous said...

Hanzy and Coco - two civil lawyers in criminal. Yeah that’s all we need - Prima Donas striking defenses because we didn’t take Depos in twenty days. Pass.

Anonymous said...

Hanzy and Coco. I love it. It has all the makings of a morning comedy madcap radio show. “Hanzy and Coco in the morning! 66 WNBC! Today on Hanzy and Coco in the morning the guys have Jim Carrey talking about his new movie biopic Janet Reno. Then Jim Cramer joins the guys for his Monday morning stock report. And finally Freddy the fisherman gives the guys a rundown of his weekend charters and where the hot finishing spots are. Hanzy and Coco in the morning. 66 WNBC and now on Sirius Satellite radio channel 222. “

Anonymous said...

Rumor is if Hanzy goes federal Coco will be his Mag.

Anonymous said...

8:58 am. Rump put it in the comment of year nominations. Brilliant and too funny.

Hanzy & Coco said...

Let’s calm down everyone. First we have to handle some serious business and get closure to people who have suffered horrible tragedies. Then when that’s over we are going to sit down with our agent and go through our offers. The radio show is a strong possibility. We are also looking at a CoutTV Show and so,embers lucrative podcast possibilities. Fox and MSNBC have also told our agent they want a chance to pitch. One thing is for sure we will publish our book “JUDGE How one judge shocked the nation by quickly and fairly handling the largest mass tragedy in the history of Miami”.
A Netflix series is also in the works.

Anonymous said...

If the Netflix show is green lighted I would cast Kevin O’Leary from Shark Tank as Hanzy and Martin Short as Colby. Maybe to bring some diversity I could see Chris Rock as the Colby character. Or even better Rosie O’Donnelll a little female LGBTQ action to bring the broad appeal.

Anonymous said...

Kevin O’Leary. Brilliant. A total doppelgänger in looks and attitude. In fact Hanzy should go on Shark Tank as a joke.

Anonymous said...

I don’t remember what Colby looks like. How about Danny Glover ? Or Ice T or Liz Cheney if she loses the election.

Anonymous said...

My g-d this blog is too funny at times.

Fake Judge Teddy Mastos said...

Are you kidding me? I, Judge Teddy Mastos, want the “Ed McMahon” silly sidekick role on the “HANZY & COCO” show. I’m a bit more Andy Richter in my comedic approach, but I would like the opportunity.

Anonymous said...

The next Martin and Lewis. Howard and Robin. Trump and Pence. A comedic roadshow of epic proportions

Anonymous said...

Radio? No way. This must be an early morning show to compete with Fox and Friends. It would be the perfect competition on the newly revamped CNN schedule.

Hanzy” is the skeptical one with the dry sense of humor. Let Hanzy ask the tough questions of foreign ministers, Federal Reserve chairman and CEO’s.

Anonymous said...

“Jonny COCO” could interview curators from the Bronx Zoo, NYC Mayor Eric Adams on the CNN Daily Murder Report and “COCO’s 7 Day Weather Report.”

Seriously. Why would you not have an open casting for a Style, Jewelry and luxury Car segment? Do the open casting at the Justice Building? Kenny Weisman, brush off your Purple Label Ralph Lauren navy blazer, wax the Rolls and get down there. 9am sharp. 4-1 courtroom.

Oh my Gosh. I forgot. “Hanzy & Coco” don’t require jackets in the courtroom!!!

Anonymous said...

Remember to tip your servers

Anonymous said...

All of this tripe is just ridiculous. Allowing people to dress informally during a process that will see highly traumatized individuals in a court makes sense, but even if it didn't, why all the shots at this judge? His work in this case is nothing short of extraordinary. I do not think all of this makes we lawyers look good.
The only good thing about all of this is that Judge Margolius has surfaced. Frankly, though, I never associated him with sartorial splendor, but loved appearing before him in court or seeing him at the Pickle Barrel.

Anonymous said...

I like the order but DeSantis and the Republican legislature will counter with the Burkas Not Bikinis Law.

Anonymous said...

As someone who rarely (never) appears before the following judgesopponents, who should get my vote? I figure someone here must have some insight into the best one for the bench. I understand these are just opinions and should not be construed as a direct endorsement.

Brenda Guerrero/Robert Watson
Lissette De La Rosa/Jeffrey Kolokoff
Alicia Garcia Priovolos/Scott Janowitz

Anonymous said...

I started the Hanzy / Coco thread and I’m thrilled how it took off. How about a job Rumpole?

Anonymous said...

Janet Yellen as Coco.
Tom Hanks as Hanzy.
Will smith in his epic comeback role as the mouthy Radio board op who cracks everybody up and is ruthless but very loyal to Hanzy and Coco.

Or just let Kim k and Pete play Hanzy and coco. Or even better Kim K and Pete Buttigedge as coco.

Anonymous said...

Harry Hamlin as Coco.
Former Pro golfer Craig Stadler the walrus as Hanzy.

Anonymous said...

Colby has to be going nuts over all these people to play coco. Janet Yellen? Rosie O’Donnell. Melissa McArthy ?
Too f ing funny.

How about Ivana Trump ?

Anonymous said...

Let’s revamp the Honeymooners.
Ralph is Hanzy.
Coco is Norton.
Jennifer Aniston is Alice.
Michelle Phipher is Trixie

Anonymous said...

I’m viewing this as a “ circle jerk”

Anonymous said...

I truly think that Abe Laeser should step up and be “ABE the SPORTS GUY” on the HANZY & COCO TV morning show on CNN. He’s too smart for the weather guy.

Anonymous said...

This Hanzy & Coco Show has legs!! Whoever is the creator and Executive Producer and Show Runner is going to make a ton of dough over the decade that the series goes on. Think of the spin offs.

It’s gold Jerry!!

Anonymous said...

Why would Judge Hanzman and Former Judge Jonny Colby not be the new … wait for it, wait for it … the 2022 series premiere stars on ABC Primetime Thursday of the remake of The “Odd Couple!”

Netflix said...

Mr. Rumpole, Gentlemen and Ladies
We are watching.

And we are interested.

Anonymous said...

How about this. Hanzy and Coco are in a CNN limo on the way to their new morning show and someone without insurance hits them and when they go to court the judge sentences the uninsured guy to be their butler!

Jake Gyllenhall as the butler

Anonymous said...

Rumpole - The blog has never been so awesome. Your readership is up tremendously. “Hanzy&Coco” is the best ratings booster - since your Civil War historical retrospective.

Well played Rumpole. Well played indeed.

Anonymous said...

Excuse me people. Isn’t there a supporting cast member role on Hanzy and Coco for the esteemed Judge Ellen Venzer?? Maybe a cooking segment? Thoughts?

Rumpole said...

Here's the page view stats

All Time
8639192

Today
314

Yesterday
2339

This Month
45016

Last Month
55881

Anonymous said...

@hanzy&Coco is trending on Twitter

Anonymous said...

the IG account already has 25k followers

Anonymous said...

Just heard that HANZY & COCO wrote a new book about “The Role of Section 90.403 as it Relates to Climate Change.”

Absolutely a can’t put down treatise. I won’t tell you how it ends. Wait till the movie!!

Perhaps our Dynamic Duo will take a break from their historical class action trial and make a live appearance at the Aventura Barnes & Noble?

Anonymous said...

Team Rump and Capt and the rest of your crew...Congrats on the number of views. Outstanding. You may be able to get West Law or a similar outfits to advertise on your blog. Maybe sell some JBB Merch as well. Maybe donate proceeds to your favorite charity ? Wishing you continued success.

Anonymous said...

Hanzy & Coco could be the next Simon & Garfunkel?

Anonymous said...

Please tell me you’re going to continue the Hanzy and coco thread. I started it and the Coco was just a typo from Colby. And look what happened. Lightening struck and it’s pure genius and it’s taking off everywhere. They mentioned it on a local Spanish language radio show this morning. People are bombarding Netflix and Sirius on line with #hanzy&coco messages.
Let the good times roll Rumpole.

Anonymous said...

No. No. No.Rumpole. Delete the post about SANDI. No one cares.

The people demand more on HANZY & COCO.