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Tuesday, July 28, 2020

SHUT IT DOWN

Judges Sayfie and Soto are wincing as they read the headline. 
"Why can't that moron leave us alone already?" or words to that effect are crossing their Judicial minds. 
Rumpole responds: SHUT IT DOWN ......Commissioner of Major League Baseball Rob Manfred. 

"Ahhhh...." said Judges Sayfie and Soto. "Whew...." 

The Marlins are infected with Covid-19. One positive went to five went to thirteen in a blink of a virus eye. All the Philadelphia Phillies who the Marlins players who were positive played against are being tested. The Phillies game with the Yanks has been canceled. The Umps are in quarantine.  (say, maybe there is something good about this virus stuff....nah).  No one will enter the visiting team dugout the Marlins used at the Phillies stadium. Just call it radioactive and see us in 50 years.  The Atlanta Braves who the Marlins just played before flying to Philadelphia are shoving so many testing strips up their nasal passages that it looks like a walrus convention in the south. 

Lets examine the problems. 60 games are scheduled to be played over 67 days. There is no room or ability to fly a team to play a makeup game. The players are in close contact with each other and close contact with players on the opposite team (the catcher's mask is not exactly the type of mask needed to stop virus transmission). A wildfire spread of the virus is inevitable. Even players who are scouted as "all bat no glove" and  boot every grounder and can't catch a flyball are going to catch the virus. 

A long time ago a great law school professor taught us agency law. And he said "Agencies do agency business." Apply that to any appellate agency case and you will see that thread in the opinion. If the agency was doing agency business then its actions were affirmed. And the reverse was true as well. 
Viruses do virus business. They infect people and spread like a ,,,,uh....virus. 

The cat is out of the bag. 
This is worse than the designated hitter rule. 
One team is a virus hot house and NO ONE on that team can play anywhere anytime against anyone for two weeks. 
How now Comm Rob? Covid just went deep against one of your teams and knocked them out of the box. Are you sending another batter against this virus? (Careful readers realize we just improperly mixed baseball metaphors. But, whatever.)

The Great Baseball owner and promoter Bill Veeck, who did such outlandish promotions as bring your disco records to the game to smash, once sent a small person to bat in a major league game under the theory no pitcher would be able to get to his strike zone (which we all know is from the batter's chest to his knees).  The small person is  known to history as Eddie Gaedel or the PC incorrect Midget Gaedel. He wore the number "1/8" on his uniform. Gaedel stood 3'7" and had one at bat in the second game of a double header against the Cards. He was walked on four straight pitches. Veeck had instructed Gaedel to crouch at the plate and measured his strike zone at 1.5 inches.   Gaedel is the shortest player in the history of major league baseball and as Veeck was quoted as saying "The greatest midget player in the history of baseball" (because he was the only small person player in baseball history). 

Here's the thing. While a pitcher could not find Eddie Gaedel's strike zone. The virus would infect him as quickly as  pitcher Randy Johnson who stands a menacing 6'10" on the mound. 

Shut it down Mr. Manfred. Walk to the mound and instead of pointing to an arm (left hander or right hander from the pen) pull your finger across your throat. It's over. Covid-19- 1. MLB -0. The season is done. You may just not know it yet. 


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/29550004/rob-manfred-says-marlins-outbreak-not-nightmare-scenario

the trialmaster said...

When Bill Veeck was GM with the then triple A Miami Marlins he had the great Satchel Paige brought in via helicopter to the orange bowl for Paige to pitch in a game. Normally the Marlins played in the old Miami Stadium which was a very nice ball park.