WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

TO CLOSE THE COURTS OR NOT? THAT IS THE QUESTION.

"In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts;
they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty."

Ralph Waldo Emerson.


Monday August 28, 2006. Dade County Office of the Chief Judge (CJ).

Dramatis personae:

Chief Judge (CJ)
Assistant: Asst
National Weather Service.
Various Judges, as themselves.


Asst (on the phone): “But he just had a talk with him. Again? No bathroom breaks? OK. I’ll tell him.” (Hangs up phone). “Chief, a clerk just called from criminal court, seems another court reporter was not allowed to use the bathroom before the end of the arraignment calendar.

CJ: “Well how long could that take?”


Asst: “They say it was past 3:00 pm. Should I get Judge …..”

CJ: (cutting off assistant) “Not now. Call him later. He should be done with calendar by 7pm. I got other problems.”

CJ: (Looking at computer and talking to himself): “Yesterday the National Weather service had the hurricane going to New Orleans. Last Night it was Tampa, and Today its Miami. What do I do? What…do…..I do….hmmm"

(begins to pace back and forth slowly, hands clasped behind his back).

To close the courts,
Or not.
That is the question!

Asst: “You said it chief!”

CJ: “shhsh. I’m on a roll."
(starts pacing again)

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
(stops pacing)
Not to mention sarcastic comments from lawyers
And that stupid blog.

Hmmm.
(starts pacing)
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them.

(A Judge pokes their head into the office of the Chief Judge)

Judge: “Hey are we closing this week? My Canasta club just canceled their game tomorrow night.”

Asst. “Shhssh. The chief is thinking.”

CJ:

The insolence of office….
Why did I take this job?

To grunt and sweat under a weary life
Of banging gavels during discovery’s strife,

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of wind speeds and rain
Gives me now a great big pain.

OK. Courts are closed!

Asst. "But Chief, what about “Neither rain nor sleet, nor gloom of night shall stay these couriers from the swift completion of their rounds” ?

CJ: “Hey. That was pretty good.”


Asst. “Yeah. I used to work right across from the main post office in Manhattan. Saw that every day.”

CJ. (getting serious again). “We are not the postal service! We are not a group of government bureaucrats who show up to work everyday and wear some goofy uniform just to collect a paycheck.”

Judge: ”We’re not? That’s what I do every day.”

CJ: "No. Courts will remain open. I’ll show them tough and pluck."

Asst: (on phone to chief of clerks) "Wait, No cancel that. We’re staying open."


CJ: (turning on the television to channel 7)

Reporter: BULLETIN. THIS IS OUR 3:23 EMERGENCY UPDATE. HURRICANE ERNESTO HAS BEEN RE-NAMED TO KILLER TROPICAL STORM ERNESTO!!!

ITS GOING TO RAIN IN MIAMI. PLUS WIND. IF YOU HAVE NOT PREPARED FOR THIS KILLER TROPICAL STORM BY NOW. GIVE UP. LEAVE YOUR HOME AND RACE, NOT WALK, RACE TO THE NEAREST SHELTER. BY PREPARATIONS, WE MEAN 60 GALLONS OF WATER PER PERSON PER HOUR, PLUS 260 GALLONS OF GASOLINE AND HOOKING UP ONE SMALL NUCLEAR GENERATOR RIGHT INTO THE ELECTRICAL BOX OF YOUR HOME.

WITH ALL THE DETAILS ON THE IMPENDING DEATHS, WE TAKE YOU TO THE MIAMI MEDICAL EXAMINERS OFFICE WHERE THEY ARE OPENING AIR CONDITIONED TRAILERS TO ACCOMMODATE THE EXPECTED INFLUX OF CORPSES…..


CJ: "No. Better close courts for the foreseeable future."



POST SCRIPT:

Hindsight is always 20-20. Our wonderful chief Judge closed the courts and saved hundreds of lawyers from getting rained on while walking from their cars to court. The CJ forever earned the love and respect of the lawyers who remained warm and dry.

The Dane, from whom the CJ drew his introspection and indecision, had a much different fate.

See You In Court Thursday.

BLOG PARTY AT TOBACCO ROAD THURSDAY AFTER WORK IS ON.

39 comments:

Judge Adrien said...

"Blame it on the rain, ain, ain...."

Anonymous said...

JUDGE KAREN MILLS-FRANCIS 65% 145
STEVE MILLAN 35% 77

Anonymous said...

Andy Cosen is a political and media consultant who came up with this winning campaign slogan two years ago:

"Peter Adrien. In your heart, you know he's Camacho."

I hope this settles the dispute.

Fast Gerry Klein said...

Come on guys, stop playing around. Where is everybody??

Anonymous said...

Seen at the sandbag line in Sweetwater: judge Ivan Hernandez, just rolling up his sleeves and quietly pitching.

Anonymous said...

rumpole - is it true that early voting is open today?

Anonymous said...

fast gerry post was hysterical!

Somepeople turn to Rumpole said...

"some people"
By: umm.. oh who the fuck cares.

Somepeople watch the news for emergency information.

Somepeople turn to Rumpole

Somepeople read the daily business reveiw for breaking legal scandal

Somepeople turn to Rumpole

Somepeople read the miami herald to learn about who in power has been arrested

Somepeople turn to Rumpole

Somepeople call up friends and trash talk about the Judges in dade county

Somepeople turn to Rumpole

Somepeople lie, cheat and make up rumors daily about co -workers in the dade county court

Somepeople turn to Rumpole

The gist is for all live late breaking news, rumor, emergency information "I turn to Rumpole".

fasr gerry klein said...

cts, you have a fine lawyer listen to what he tells you, corrections!
C'mon....

Anonymous said...

HEY RUMP:

You need to do a bit on the other Chief Judge, the one North of the Border.

The courts are closed through ..... did he say Wednesday or Thursday ... unable to tell with that distinguished lisp .... first he closes the courts through Thursday and all the attorneys waive off their witnesses and tell their clients to take a long Labor Day weekend and now he changes his mind and the courts ARE OPEN FOR BUSINESS ON THURSDAY.

UGH.

Rumpole said...

Not really sure about that Rumpole comment.

Real History Buff said...

I was sorry to see the blog post that tired old tripe about Lt. Commander Andrew Cotsin. It's a post by a group os conspiracy nust who have claimed for years, with no proof that Cotsin missed his train in Chicago, arrived late in Washington, blah blah blah. There is no proof Admiral Husband Kimmel ever sent Cotsin to Washington, which is why Cotsin never testfied on Kimmel's behalf. Give it a rest already guys.

Anonymous said...

That post was THE BEST post ever on this blog for pure artistic merit!

Anonymous said...

Larry 48%
Gina 52%

Rumpole said...

Millan cannot and will not beat KMF.

Things are starting to get nasty in several races. For no particular reason we think the Larry Schwartz Gina Mendez race,which is neck and neck with blog voters, will be just the same on election day.

Thank you for the praise on the post. We try to write quality material (it helps when you're stealing from the Bard.)

Anonymous said...

Very quietly, several former military nco's working at the post office diverted the mailing of a particular wierdo. In case you were wondering,

Anonymous said...

Miami Loves Migna
Rumpole Is Altschuler
Miami can't you see?
Migna Loves Miami
Altschuler is Rumpole

I'll need a drink tomorrow by 3eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

(I thought I'd try to combine the two songs).

Anonymous said...

Patty-lostherlawsuit- was seen ranting and raving at no one in particular. That's what happens when a bunch o ticket people play lawyer and try to argue a complicated motion. They get their head handed to them.

Patty has to answer for her misguided attack on a good jurist.

Anonymous said...

Rump. You just mentioned that Millan can not and will not beat KMF. Where did that come from? Were you responding to someone or some comment?

Also, what races are getting nasty; who is doing what to whom?

Anonymous said...

I'm so excited, it's almost Thursday and I'll be at Tabacco Road from 5:00 - 8:00 for the first GJB Blog Partee.

What is the over/under for the amount of candidates and judges that will show????

My prediction is 8.

Anonymous said...

one day the lawyers of this town (and I am one of them) will realize that their polls, votes, and opinions amount to a very very small meaningless percentage of the total votes.

Next tuesday will be a severe embarassment to the judiciary.

Anonymous said...

AHHHH! I was out all day and couldn't check in on the blog the usual 50 times an hour. I was a wreck. Finally, I was able to read everything and now can relax. Man what is happening to me!

Anonymous said...

you guys are all wrong on andrew costin. he was actually at the center of the iran-contra affair and was one of the people on the plane who bought a cake and some missiles to the ayatollah.

Anonymous said...

What is the over/under for the number of useless ticket hacks who will be wearing robes on january 3?

Anonymous said...

Rumpole is or may be John Amarantos, Esq. with the help of some other derlicts.

Anonymous said...

6:09 whats does "former military nco's" mean and who is the wierdo

Anonymous said...

the migna song guy/girl has made me root against migna.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully, all lawyers, their families and secretaries will get out to vote or it will be a living hell. Some of these challengers (Gonzalez, Alvarez and the like are just a blemish on the ass of the potential judiciary). Keep Murphy, Leifman, Miller, etc......where they belong.

Anonymous said...

Closing the courts was a good idea. Better safe than sorry and my new shoes didn't get wet. But what does that mean for my soundings that were set for today? The clerk's office is just gonna double up on some other wednesday and that day will be miserable for me. Worse than water spots on new leather.

Anonymous said...

I have been at MJB for several years now. I've never seen or met Parks, Veliz, Bardwil, and many many more of these people running for judge. They may be good candidates, I just have no way of knowing. But would I rely on one of those stupid bar polls or CABA polls or some stupid endorsement? Never. How many of those people who said the candidates were unqualified even know them? My guess is that they know the person's opponent and that's why them gave them a bad rating.

Anonymous said...

Gina 55%
Larry45%

Gina is rapidly (rapido) pulling away!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I am not a judge or candidate, just someone who has practiced here for a long time and enjoys watching judicial political campaigns. For reference sake I am hispanic (cuban) and practice civil law.

KMF will beat Millan because enough people care about having black judges on the bench. Its the same reason McWhorter will win. Neither Paty Whatshernamethisweek nor Steve Millan can come up with a good enough reason why they should replace an incumbent who is a person of color. Patty is doubly screwed because she changed her name at the last minute. Both will lose badly. The three incumbents who are in trouble are Hernandez and Schwartz (Larry and Shelly).

Hernandez is simply a bad judge who has incredibly bad poll numbers and none of the endorsements you need to win. He's a hispanic but one not liked and who screwed his fellow judges and all their friends that got them there. Faber has the black and anglo markets locked up and is attacking in the hispanic market. He has run a tight race and is in a good position to win.

Larry has a tough race with Gina. Voter turnout could decide this one. Gina has a hispanic name and good support among latin voters. Larry has the Herald and the support of the lawyers. My prediction is Larry will squeek this one out by a razor thin majority.

Shelly on the other hand has more problems. He doesn't really have the same support that Larry does and Migna is working very hard. Look for this to be the reverse of Larry's majority with Migna squeeking it out.

Anonymous said...

rumpole
you have created a gossip mill. never reveal your identity or you will forever be know as the worlds biggest yenta.

Rumpole said...

1) we did not post a comment about a Judge making fun of a physical disability. You know who you are, clean it up a tad.

2) biggest Yenta? We don't write bubkas. Its the rest of the yodels who write this stuff.

Anonymous said...

rump, you (or one of your three-headed amalgam) is haiku harry. bank on it.

Anonymous said...

Rump:

I received a postcard from www.operationrestorejustice.org supporting Liefman, Faber, Miller & McWhorter. Have you seen it? I must say that it is very professionally done with glossy pictures and everything!

Anonymous said...

To Mr. Hispanic Civil attorney. What the hell are you talking about? You surely have not studied the last 4 elections in Miami-Dade County.

Here is a lesson Mr. Civil fool. Xavier Cortada, Don Cohn, Martin Zilber, Larry Shatzman, David Peckins, Reginald Richardson, Henry Harnage, Josie Veliz and David Levy.

They had the endorsements, they had the all mighty African-American and White communities. At least that is what they thought.

I would say more, but you need to pay to learn. Teaching a fool is a waste of my time. Go back to your PI practice. I hear an ambulance approaching.

The flood gates are now open. In 6 years the judiciary as you know it will no longer exist. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Remind me again why you can't get personal jurisdiction over god? (Isn't the church a registered agent?)

Anonymous said...

God has the utmost sovereign immunity. That's why you can't get personal jurisdiction over Him.