YOUR NEW CLERK

 Chief Judge Sayfie has appointed Luis Montaldo, Esq., the former general counsel for the clerk's office, and oft described as Harvey Ruvin's right hand, as your new clerk. His appointment runs through the expiration of Ruvin's term in January 2025. 

We welcome Mr. Montaldo and alert him to some issues that we would like to be resolved. 

1) The ability to obtain pleadings in PDF format from the docket. The feds do it with CMECF. Most jurisdictions around the country do it. It's time for Miami to join the 2000's and give criminal practitioners the ability to get pleadings from the docket.  FYI Miami is in violation of the Florida Supreme Court edict that all files be digitized. Shhhshhhh... we won't tell if you won't. 

2) Not that it matters to us, but there are still these "paper files" in misdemeanor court, which are the criminal, non-traffic misdemeanor cases. We understand the "retro-craze"- buying music on albums instead of getting it digitized for example. Going to a theater to watch a movie instead of streaming it. Driving a non-electric car. But really, is there a time when criminal misdemeanor cases will be digitized before 2075? 

3) "Abandon hope all ye who enter" should not be the de facto motto of the clerk's office help desks. And yet... time is relative when you go to view a file. Of course, if the files were digitized and available for downloading in PDF format (see #1) then we wouldn't have to stand in line. Neither would anyone else for that matter, including the public.  How about an APP? The Dade County Clerk's App! Go tap your app, get on line, get a file, download it, and voila! You have what you need. 

Now we understand that if lawyers and general public could get what they needed without the help of clerks making us stand in line for a few hours first, it just might make people wonder why we need a clerk's office. But fear not, the clerks can employ an army of scanners, scanning documents, making them available in PDF format, and we would be happy. Think Santa's workshop, but with Cuban Coffee and cafe con leche breaks. 

In any event Mr. Montaldo, you have big shoes to fill, and should you need any help or advice, we are at your beck and call. 

We blog to serve. 

CALENDAR SEARCH CRISIS

 The new year is not off to a good start. The Dade County Clerk's Office, whose technology is known far and wide as a leader in the industry, has been experiencing intermittent outages including, now, the all-important calendar search. 

What does this mean for you? 

You cannot go on the clerk's website and achieve all that you wanted. 

Now, mop up the coffee that you spit out after you read about the cutting-edge technology of our clerk's office, and let's get down to brass tacks, which by the way, is one way the clerk's secures files- with brass tacks. 

First, in County Court, the criminal files are still ...(cue ominous music) PAPER FILES!

Often is the time a newly minted ASA or PD comes bounding into court with their Starbucks and iPad, monitoring their Tinder on their phone, while carrying on a dozen text conversations at once, and stop cold and see something they are not familiar with.

"Wha..wha...what are those?" they point in amazement, seeing actual paper files on a Clerk's desk. 

It's been, what? More than 15 years since traffic files went digital. 

Of course, this is all part of the training because by the time they get to felonies, all the files are hard paper files. 

They inform their big-law colleagues (via text) of the wonders of the REGJB: "Dude, you know what I saw today? An f'ing typewriter!  And someone was using it to write on a paper and guess what? I got to hit a key! It was like uncovering a dinosaur bone in Utah."

The good news is that in the absence of a fully functioning website, which until recently, the Clerks required a Compuserve account to use (if you don't know, don't ask), you can go to the clerk's office or call them. 

If you go to the clerk's office, bring the following: a twenty dollar roll of quarters, two books, a thermos of coffee, a subway sub, some snacks, and you will be efficiently handled in several hours. 

If you call, here's the code:

"Good morning and welcome to the Dade County clerk's office. For Spanish press Uno, for Creole press Un, for German press Ein. For the Probate office just die...ha ha ha...just kidding, press 11 then star then pound then 100 and [click]"

Yes you will be disconnected. 

The simple fact is that not even the National Security Agency can get the documents they need from the Dade Clerk's Office (motto "Proudly providing you 1977 court files on floppy disks.").

"Good morning Mr. President. We have the latest translations of conversations on Putin's phone for you to review."

Biden: "Did you get that Grand Theft file from the Clerk's Office in Miami?"

NSA Briefer: "No sir. It's proving more difficult than we expected. We do have the videos from the latest meetings of the council in Iran and some from their secret nuclear weapons lab."

2022 is going to be a long year dear readers. 

GOING GREEN THE CLERK'S OFFICE DILEMMA

 We start with a problem that has an easy solution. How many millions of dollars does the Miami Dade County Clerk's Office spend on these?  

What to do? What to do? Hmm....it's 2021....what could help solve this problem and disrupt the way the Clerk's office has been doing things since 1919?

WAIT! The internet might just help....AND WAIT.....THIS THING CALLED EMAIL MIGHT BE OF ASSISTANCE and hang on....(slight interruption with the phone ringing) AND WHAT DO PEOPLE HAVE IN THEIR HANDS 16 HOURS A DAY? THEIR PHONES !

Now let's try and put all the pieces of the puzzle together and fix this ornery problem. The internet, and email and phones...hmmm... people get arrested and have to give out their information including their phone number. Can we ask for their email? Don't see why not. Now, with that email and phone number could we create a database on the internet and add those valuable pieces of information into the system?  It seems doable. NASA put a robot on Mars. Georgia managed to hide several million Trump votes and not get caught. The technology seems feasible to do it better, faster.... (Cue 6 Million Dollar Man opening below). 

With an email alert to a court date AND a text message, could we save millions of dollars in postage and acres of landfill and make our postperson's job a bit easier? Why by Jove I think we'e got it. 

The feds do not send out little postcards that take engineers with doctorate degrees twenty minutes to open and they seem to have no problem with failures to appear. 

And this is even WORSE for us to admit- our cousins north of the border provide a written notice of the next court hearing whilst the defendant is in court. What does this save?....anyone....Bueller?.....anyone? POSTAGE - with written notice received in court, the Clerk's office doesn't have to mail notice to the lawyers and clients. 

We have spent a year mostly not issuing bench warrants and ACs and the world is still spinning. Bondmen now routinely use text messaging APPs to alert clients of upcoming court dates, why can't the clerk's office do the same?

BUT WAIT the naysayers are naysaing. What about those .0001% of cases where the defendant does not show and the bondsperson contests the forfeiture?  We cannot update the system, save millions of dollars in postage, save on greenhouse gases and help cool the planet because in ten cases next year the court will not be able to estreat the $5,000 bond for the defendant who is charged with possession of marijuana and resisting with violence. Sorry, good idea, but we might lose that estreature case on a notice issue,  and we need that five grand so keep spending those millions and filling those landfills. 

(They may also say the Rules of Judicial Administration and Dead Sea Scrolls require notice to be mailed. We have searched the elusive ROJA-DSS and not found any such rule, but then again the ROJA-DSS are constructed to prevent a logical search and reading of the document.) 

There will be a workaround to the notice issue. Defendant's will sign a paper before release affirming their contact information. If they change it and miss a court date they lose their bond, pure and simple. 

So let's recap. There is a problem that costs a lot of money. Technology can solve it and save money, save landfill, save on greenhouse gasses and in general make the whole thing better and more efficient. And therefore the reason this giant inefficient bureaucracy has not changed is because...drum roll please....

THAT'S THE WAY WE HAVE ALWSYS DONE IT. 

Oh. Sorry we brought this up. 

WHAT SAY YOU HARVEY RUVIN? 

We suspect Mr. Ruvin will say that if attorneys go on the clerk's website they can sign up for electronic notice. We have seen that that  function DOES NOT stop the clerk from mailing those evil little notices no one can open without tearing the actual information. At the very least Dade should transition to in-court written notices AND STOP spending money on those ridiculous mailers. 

DADE CLERK BUREAUCRACY

In the State portal filing system (unofficial motto "portal to hell") each clerk for the circuit creates the categories that pleadings are filed under. So for example, if you have a motion, you click the motion section and then the specific subject. For example, you can select a "motion to suppress". The specific titles of the motions available is set by the local clerk. So for example, there probably isn't a "motion to lower bond" in Broward because...well, you know why. 

Pop Quiz: In Dade, which motion is NOT A CHOICE in the motion category, meaning our clerk has decided there is no need for this:

A) Motion to Travel
B) Motion to Transfer Judges Section
C) Motion to Tax Costs
D) Motion to Determine Confidentiality Of Court Records

So you, as a long time and careful reader, are surely saying to yourself: "Self, I always file motions to Determine Confidentiality of Court Records. I mean, who doesn't? Duh! And ditto for the daily use of Motion To Transfer Judges Section. That's like the first thing they teach in law school, right?  So now it's down to Travel or Costs..."

Yes, loyal reader, the Clerk's in Dade, in their infinite wisdom, based on the daily practice in our courthouse, apparently frequently deal with motions to transfer judges section, but never see...A MOTION TO TRAVEL. 

Are you kidding me? 

We don't even know what a motion to transfer judge's section is. But then again we've only been doing this 30 plus years. 
How in the name of Marshal Ader do they not have a Motion To Travel in the motions section in the portal? 

Sorry, but if you practice around the State, you will see that Dade has a bizarre list of motions, but not things like a motion to travel, or a motion for individual voir dire.

Need a motion to waive jurisdiction? They got it. Need a motion to "record/admit pre-trial immunity testimony"? EZEEPEEZEE. 

How about an "Amended Motion for Post Conviction Relief"? You-bet-cha. As if they were sitting around one day and one of the clerks said to the other (while in the process of pouring another large bourbon):
 "You know what we need Sam? We need a special category for Amended Motion For Post Conviction Relief because so many of those suckers file amended motions."
"I hear ya Arnie. How about adding a motion for travel?"
"What's that?"

It's ridiculous. Almost as bad as needing the precise page and word count before they would accept the motion. They did away with that requirement as long as-while filing the motion- you affirm out-loud you have recorded the number of pages and words in your separate "page and word number diary" that the Clerks who run the portal system require you to have. 

Or something like that. 

From Occupied America, please send us  a motion to transfer judges section. 

Peace/Out. 

CLERK'S OFFICE TO CLOSE

David O Markus In County Court? See Below. 

The Clerk's Office to close???
Well, not quite. But we're heading that way. Think we're "foolin?" Check the date of the post: 3/31/2016

Changes are coming to the Clerk's office, none of them good. 

You want limited government? You got it. 

Just don't arrive on the 9th floor of the Dade County Clerk's Office with a question because the clerk who sits in the booth opposite the elevators and answers questions is being re-assigned. You have a question? Google it. 

In our milieu, there used to be two clerks in the attorneys room handling file requests. 

Now there will be one. 

There will be longer lines and increased wait time. 
As a smart and resourceful lawyer you are thinking that you will just use one the clerks at the windows for the general public. Think again. Attorneys are BARRED from using those services:
"Sir. Drop your file request form on the floor, raise your hands in the air and step away from the window."

Here is what our sources are saying: 

Right now visitors to the 9th floor (attorneys and general public) are welcomed by a deputy clerk who works in a general information booth directly across from the elevators (one window).  For the uninitiated, this clerk then directs people to one of many windows which are found in the various rooms of the 9th floor.  There are general rooms and an attorney room.  The general rooms include a payment/information room (many many windows), a bonds/bondsman room (a few windows), an appeals room (one window), and a case file room (many windows).  

Then there is one attorney room and it is dedicated to defense attorneys and prosecutors where they can file orders signed in court, review files, get dispositions, get certified copies of orders and request a variety of other services.  The attorney room has two windows.  Attorneys line up and wait to be helped by two great deputy clerks, normally Leida and Mike.  The line in the attorney room is often times long, but fluctuates throughout the day and generally moves quickly because there are two clerks who only work with the attorneys and have a great deal of experience (and patience) in dealing with them and their requests.  

Here is the plan: 

1. Close the general information booth which directs the public to the window or room that will most efficiently handle their need (so in the future they will be walking around aimlessly, waiting in line in one room before being directed to the appropriate room or a totally different floor, which the information booth clerk would have sent them to in the first place), 
2. Close one of the attorney windows, leaving only one window and only one clerk to handle all the attorneys and their requests.
3. Prohibit attorneys from using the various general public windows which offer the same services to the public but which are often times less busy when the attorneys need help the most (e.g. during the early mornings, as calendar calls come to an end, at the end of the day to file/certify last minute transport/modification orders).

This is happening because all the temp clerks were recently fired en masse and there are seven deputy clerk positions on the 9th floor that are not being filled.

Don't blame the clerk's office. Blame your "limited state government" officials who want to lower your state income tax (oh, wait- we don't have a state income tax) and reduce waste (like the clerk who answered the questions of befuddled citizens) and privatize services - like the new "El Chapp" Cafe which is opening, we are proud to announce- the 6th of never. 

By the way, there's a new El Chapo cafe diet craze sweeping the nation. No food. Weight loss. Amazing concept. Wish we thought of it. 

CALLED STRIKE THREE

There are no small cases. 
And thus, your favourite federal blogger and federal defense attorney David Markus found himself a stranger in a strange land on Wednesday: Before Judge Ed Newman in Dade County Court representing Major League Baseball player Delmon Young, who was charged in some affray with a valet. 

It was hardly Casey At The Bat. But the mighty state attorney's office dug in, and stood by as the Ump called strike three! The complaining valet didn't show up in court and the case was nolle prossed (technically- "never mind"). 

Mr. Markus, not used to standing in court surrounded by hoi poli of defense attorneys representing the mundane DUIs, expectorating in public, disorderly intoxication and such, still managed to maintain his dignity, and left the courtroom, only to be promptly interviewed by TMZ here. 

There is no rest for the weary or  busy defense attorneys,  and you can see Mr. Markus in more familiar terrain, as he is rumored to be in trial today before Judge Moore. 

See you in court. 

CLERK'S NEW WEBSITE

Here is a question from the current FCAT:

Pick the one word or phrase that doesn't belong:

Innovation. Technology. Service. Dade County Clerk's Office. Advanced. 

Time marches on. There are Apps for everything. You can order a car-cab from your phone (Uber), food (hundreds of apps), games, shop on Amazon, watch movies on Netflix, read the Times, translate a foreign language, navigate with a map. 

All of these apps that interface with websites have one thing in common: ease of use. The experience on the web should make your life easier and your time at work more productive. 

Enter the Dade County Clerk's Office saying "not so fast pardner."

It used to be pretty easy to look up your client's case. 
Then they updated the website. And in true bureaucratic fashion, the Clerk's office  took a good thing…and made it worse. 

Now, every time you do a search you have to try and decipher a blurry set of words and numbers and if you enter them in wrong, then your search is declined.  Because apparently in China, there is a big need to know which Miami residents have been arrested for disorderly conduct. With that information, they can rule the world. First the Dade Clerk's website, then the South China Sea. 

Or as Mao said:
"Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun and a slow website."

The reviews are in, and if you follow the FACDL listserv, it's not pretty. Words like "asinine, stupid, dumb, idiotic, and awful, pepper the conversation….and that's just the people who designed it discussing it." 

Here are some actual quotes: 
"It sucks"; "I hate it"; "It slows me down"; "Drives lawyers nuts."
And one judge who wrote "what's a website?" (That's a joke.) 

So take a bow Clerk's office. You've lived up to your reputation. The only left for us to report on is what we are sure is a high seven figure cost for adding the extra step that everyone hates. 

See You In Court where we have yet to be able to successfully log on to CJIS.