MIAMI BEACH WELCOMES TOURISTS (put away your phones and no videos)

 A little-known codicil to the Faber College constitution suspends the operation of the First Amendment in Miami Beach. 

The City of Miami Beach has criminalized the taking of videos of Miami Beach police officers beating arresting individuals. 

Query: How many City of Miami Beach police officers does it take to break a defendant's nose? 

None. He tripped and fell. Whoops. 😝

Several people have been arrested for taking videos in Miami Beach. All of their cases have been dismissed. Some took six months to dismiss. Some CMB police officers have been arrested for battery for beating individuals they encountered. 

From Ovalle's article: 

Since then, nearly every one of those cases has been quietly dropped. But in one of the few remaining cases, the Florida Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers asked a court to dismiss the case against an Ohio tourist, saying the ordinance unconstitutionally punished the right to free speech. Given the opportunity to defend the law in court, Miami Beach’s city prosecutor last week backed down — simply dropping the case.

Despite that exposure of police brutality which shocked everyone because of the peaceful nature of the City of Miami Beach Police officers (yeah, we couldn't write that with a straight face) the City of Miami Beach has their own thug prosecutor for their City Ordinance violations because the SAO won't prosecute their (warning- technical legal words to follow) ...         bullshit arrests. And the City has affirmed its intention to arrest individuals who record officers interacting with citizens. 

Let's repeat that. In 2022, if Chief Justice John Roberts is strolling down Ocean Drive and sees a few City of Miami Beach police officers beating the crap out of some tourists and decides to record it on his iPhone, he will be arrested. 

The FACDL has sprung into action, challenging the law and writing amicus motions and briefs (literally- "we cannot believe you are so stupid as to argue in support of this") and the Miami Herald covers the contretemps here. Enjoy. 

And remember, when you cross the causeway, don't cross the police by pressing "record". 

A NEW IDEA

The City of Miami Beach Police Department has apparently come up with a new way of avoiding those pesky problems that come with pre-filing a new case: kill the defendant.

As reported HERE
by the Miami Herald a man died after a fight with Miami Beach Narcotics Detectives.

Old joke:
Q: How many City Of Miami Beach Detectives does it take to throw a defendant down a flight of stairs?
A: None. He fell.

See you in court, where if this trend continues, we could soon be out of clients.

Rumpole addresses the issue of the identity of those who make comments:

Let us take a brief moment and address and issue that has arisen in the comments section. One lawyer (one guess who) wants to sue another lawyer for comments allegedly made by that second lawyer about the first lawyer.

We have no way of knowing who makes a comment. Our only remedy is that if a comment is made and the person signs a name, and that person emails us and asks us to take down the comment because someone else signed their name to it, we will do it. But the mere fact a comment is signed is no proof whatsoever that the name associated with the comment was the actual person who made the comment.

That's clear isn't it? Sort of like the in field fly rule. (6.05(e): With less than two outs, and runners at first or second, or bases loaded, and a force play at third, if the batter hits a fly ball that is in the opinion of the umpire a catchable ball, the batter is automatically out.)

FREE PARKING IN MIAMI BEACH!!!!

If you know Rumpole (and nobody does) you know that nothing warms our heart like a good old fashioned prank.

Enter one Alfred Spellman, described by the HERALD
as a "professional filmmaker, amateur prankster".

Mr. Spellman allegedly opened a web site promoting free parking on Miami Beach this weekend, in which you could print out a receipt designed to fool the Miami Beach parking police.

Ha ha ha ha.

Now comes word that the city that brought you the 1968 Republican Presidential Convention, and is the butt of countless defense attorney jokes ("how many City of Miami Beach Officers does it take to throw a defendant down a flight of stairs? NONE. he fell.") has opened an economic crimes investigation against Mr. Spellman.

Why if we weren't anonymous, we would represent Mr. Spellman pro bono (Latin for: my client bounced the cheque again.)

While we would never counsel anyone to break the law, every now and then it's nice to "stick it to the man" in the words of Spellman's website.

Here's hoping Mr. Spellman makes it to court and is not found in some alleyway of Miami Beach beaten senseless with a bunch of unused parking meters.

Speaking of scams, another one is winding down as the law firm of Adorno & Yoss (motto: representing the public seven clients at a time) agreed to pay the City of Miami 1.6 million dollars which will be added to the 15.5 million that the City Of Miami has agreed to refund taxpayers in a class action lawsuit over the fire-fee case.

Adorno had agreed to represent the entire class at about the same time he and his pals at the City Attorneys Office were finalizing a seven million dollar settlement for seven clients, earning his firm a quick two million, and giving the rest of his clients (the tax payers of the City of Miami) bubkas (to use a technical legal term).

The Third DCA called it "a scheme to defraud." "More unethical and reprehensible behavior by attorneys against their own clients is difficult to imagine.'' The Court intoned.

Now comes word that as the Florida Bar continues its investigation of former Assistant State Attorney Hank Adorno, the embattled lawyer is quietly considering "The Spellman defense."

"It was a joke. A harmless prank. A way to 'stick it to the man'. No lawyer in his right mind would screw an entire city of clients to make a quick 2 million."

As Johnny Cochran might say "You can't disbar, if the prank didn't get very far."

See you in court, pondering how nice it would be to have 1.5 million in the operating account, even if we had to return it.