JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG

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Wednesday, January 29, 2020

MYSTERY COURTHOUSE

The other day we traveled to the belly of the beast, otherwise known as 73 West Flagler Street- the Civil Courthouse. Like any good traveler, prior to our sojourn we received inoculations for typhoid, diphtheria, and greed. We perambulated through several floors, thoroughly lost, until a helpful soul informed us that Judges in civil court routinely hold hearings in their chambers!! Thus we entered the belly of the belly of the beast. It was not pleasant. Leave it at that. 

Free from the confines of expensive suits, watches, armies of paralegals and (most importantly) billable hours, we walked about the area, liberally applying hand sanitizer but desperately needing a hot shower. There is a Starbucks on the corner across from civil court. But no respite was to be had in its overpriced confines, as it is populated by the same unpleasant personages as we just escaped from. Plus there are lawyers in there as well. 

Continuing our walk on a fine Miami winter afternoon, we stumbled across this.



What could this courthouse be? Did judges hold hearings inside? Are there jurors and courtrooms and as they say in Latin- "the whole shebang".  We have never heard a lawyer say "I have to get to a trial in Courthouse East later today" or words to that effect. 

Alas one unpleasant experience for the day was more than enough and we stopped to snap a quick picture and then were on our way, lest some expensive suit approach us seeking referrals for closings, or soft-tissue injury cases, or other such arrant nonsense. 

Does anyone know what happens in Courthouse East? 
Is there a Courthouse West? Do they wear cowboy hats and spurs and call women "ma'am'"there? 
Do they talk with a New York or Bahstahn accent in Courthouse East? 

Let's be frank and talk about what everyone is wondering: Is this Legal-Miami's Area 51??

Meanwhile there is this: 


13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I recorded a quitclaim deed there once many moons ago. I think its an extension of the clerks office on the first floor of 73 west flagler.

anonymous said...

They hold hearings for contested parking tickets there.

Anonymous said...

Why be Frank? Why not be Harold or Ernesto or Montgomery or even Rutherford?

Anonymous said...

What an entertaining writer you are. You deserve a bigger platform. The Herald should scoop you up. The next Dave Barry. Love the way you used perambulate and the veiled shot at judges:

But no respite was to be had in its overpriced confines, as it is populated by the same unpleasant personages as we just escaped from. Plus there are lawyers in there as well.

You have to read that a few times to figure out what you were up to. Tricky blogger.

Anonymous said...

I just saw some Corona beer in my local Publix. I am shocked! Why are they still selling this beer when it is causing a virus all over the world?

Real Fake Blecher said...

DUI laws have changed since the days of Essen and Essen.
That much we know.
I used to love to tear the Indium Crimper readings apart.

Anonymous said...

Rump, great blog post I have been to that courthouse about 15 times over the last 25 years and will say I found the clerks there to be very friendly, helpful and professional.

Anonymous said...

Quick question. I tend to shop at Big and Tall. Suit vent in the back- side panels or one split down the back?
Fashion matters.

Anonymous said...

That's where financial institutions (with the help from the Chief Judge, the civil circuit, retired decrepit judges, and the full cooperation of the dimwit jurist of the 3DCA) obfuscate property titles so they can steal real estate property or equity from hapless Miami homeowners. Basically, that building is a crime scene for the next financial meltdown.

Anonymous said...

Recording, records library and parking tickets.

Anonymous said...

Please change that stupid captcha. It scrolled through over 30 attempts at verification with more and more traffic lights, crosswalks, buses, stairs, bicycles, motorcycles and fire hydrants than in any Broward clerk's office or Miami-Dade inmate search captcha.

Anonymous said...

4:23 must be Bruce Jacobs.

Rumpole said...

I’ve removed the captcha. I hate it as well. But I’ve I get hit with a ton of spam I’ll have to reinstate it.