Monday, July 27, 2009


Play our Presidential trivia game, below:

Based on the email address, we're pretty sure this is a Judge, but there is no way to be 100% sure.

We received this email.

It's hot. No one wants to be working.
And apparently, tempers are running a bit short:

Dear Rumpole:

Would you print this on the blog? It might help make calendars run a bit smoother.

I don't like:

Attorneys who raise two fingers on each hand to indicate parenthesis when making an argument.

Attorneys who say to me "I'm sure you've read the case law" when they know damn well I haven't.

Attorneys who start by addressing the court with "judge this is the case where... (fill in the blank- "the man wearing a skirt broke into his neighbors house" ) as if I have been waiting all day for your case in which I remember every detail.

Bulletin- every case has their own unique set of facts. I don't remember any of them. Get to the point. The quicker the better.

Attorneys who make jokes. I have a big calendar. Get to it. If you think you can do standup go to an open mike at a comedy club. Don't try your routine with me.

Attorneys who text while I'm addressing their case. Stop multi-tasking for one damn minute.

Getting those stupid facebook emails. I'm not your friend and I don't want to be your friend. Stop adding me to your friend list. I won't respond.

Attorneys who try and impress me by announcing ready and then quickly adding that they may not be available because they're on standby with the US supreme court. If you need a continuance, just say so. I could care less where you have to be and the implication that the case before me is not that important really doesn't matter. I just want to do a decent job and close the case.

Thanks Rumpole. This has been brewing in me for a while. It's nice to blow off steam. Have a good weekend. We all read your blog you know.


A robed reader.

Rumpole says: Glad to be of service.

If you've been reading the comments section this weekend and last week,
you have seen unfold a tale that appeals to prurient interests to say the least.
Let me make this very easy on all of you writing in: Under no circumstances
will I print any allegation, guess, allusion....whatever, that references the
names of the individuals in question. So let it go and drop it. Whether it's
true or not, subjecting people to embarrassing rumors like this is not productive.
The only way this would make the blog is if there was proof of a violation of
the code of ethical conduct for attorneys or judges, and an aggrieved
opposing party filed a complaint. Then it would be news and blog worthy.

NFL training camps open this week and it's time to start doing the intense
statistical analysis that allows us to be the premier football blog tout.

A little summer time trivia: This President's first name was Hiram.

See You In Court.


Anonymous said...

I don't like:

Judges who think their time is more important than anybody else's. If you say you're going to take the bench at 9 or 1:30 then do that, don't drag me in to make you wait around hours because you "got tied up." I have lots of things to do besides hang in your courtroom waiting for you.

Judges who tell me how to practice law while I'm in front of them with my client. I know you think you're smarter than me because you got elected, but I may have been practicing longer than you, and I know how to practice law. Don't demean me in front of my clients, and I'll treat you like a honored member of the bench, instead of the idiot you're acting like.

Judges who push me to trial on a complicated B or A case, when I have very genuinely laid out my reasons for a continuance. The fact that you cannot control your docket should not result in my client suffering because you want to close out cases. It's your fault the audit is in the 800s or 900s don't take it out on my one client and case.

Judges who treat Public Defenders like their personal staff. Yes, they work before you everyday, but they do not work for you, they work for their clients. That means call their case out of turn just like you would a private, because the PD client may have to get to work on time, or the PD may also have to go another courtroom, just because you wear a robe does not make you a king or queen, and your courtroom is not a fiefdom.

Respect members of the bar like you would like to be respected. Hey, we've all got bar numbers after our names, and at the end of the day, a quick election will place you back in my ranks.

And, lastly, follow the law. I don't expect you to rule in my favor every time, but I do expect you to follow the law. So I don;t have to waste my time appealing you. Do the right thing the first time.

And lastly, be courteous, and keep your personal drama off the bench. Being courteous does not make you appear either weak or stupid, in fact, it makes you appear wise and judicial. Keeping your personal drama on the bench does not make you appear human, it makes you appear stupid and foolish. Wear the robe the way it deserves to be worn, and don't make me regret voting for you, or make me question your personal makeup and sanity.

Anonymous said...

6:59 -

If a judge is running late maybe it is becaue one of your bretheren are the cause, not the judge. I agree if a judge says he/she is starting at 9 or 9:30 they should take the bench then. The late afternoons are usually due to longer than they should be morning calenders.

If you are a PD and you seem to have a PD attitude, and your client has a legitimate reason to need to be taken out of turn, speak up. The only overall solution to your complaint is to take nothing out of turn. Talk to your private counsel colleagues and see if they agree.

We know your are not "staff", but you are there for a majority of the cases and most of the calender. Whether we take your cases out of turn or just down the calender in order, you are still going to be there all day. You work, for the most part, in one courtroom. Private counsel work in them all. You figure it out.

There are judges on the bench who actually can teach you a thing or two if you would let them. Condescending they should not be, but helpful they can be. It really depends upon the judge. As smart as you think you are, there are many who really are smarter than you.

Following the law should be easy. If your judge is not, then you have a gripe. However your belief in what the law is may not necessarily comport with the other side or the judge. As you put it, "I don't always expect to win.." If that is so then take a loss with grace and move on.

And lastly lastly, I agree a judge should be courteous as long as that is way you treat him/her. Don't cop an attitude or bitch to the nearest lawyer in a voice loud enough for the judge to hear you call him/her "an idiot" and things should be okay.

Anonymous said...

Response to first post:

1. Same to you. If you show up late don't expect to be called out of turn (and roll your eyes if you aren't)in front of everyone that arrived on time. If the courtromm is full and it's 9:30am don"t ask to call your 11:00am motion out of turn. You knew the motion calendar was at 11:00am. If that is not good for you tell your sceretary to schedule it another day. I don't care if you have a client coming in at 11:00. It's not about you. You have ONE case in court that morning we have a couple of hundred where others are depending on us to move the calendar. It's about them.

2. If you don't want to be told how to practice law then don't say "What am I supposed to do?" especially when you have been sitting on a case for 2 months without doing a lick of work.

3. Set your motion for continuance on a motion calendar before the report date. Chances are that you will get a continuance if you are a lawyer that is respected for your work in the building.

4. Agreed on the PDs and their clients. But don't roll your eyes when the PD is ahead of you in line with ten files to address. Also, PDs sometimes don't speak to their clients until they see them in court so we are waiting until they are ready.

5. Respect is never an option.

6. If you don't see the law the same way we do, don't be a baby.

7. Keep your personal drama out as well. With some lawyers it's always something. At a minimum, stop recycling your excuses. We see the patterns. And PLEASE stop saying "You know me Judge, I'm not afraid to go to trial!"

Anonymous said...

U.S. Grant. The second republican to be president.

Anonymous said...

The President's full name would be Hiram Ulysses Grant, better known as Ulysses S. Grant. While a cadet at West Point, we was the brunt of jokes given his initials (HUG), so he changed his first name to his middle name. This cadet became general of the Union Army and subsequently the 18th President of the United States.

Rumpole said...

It was indeed US Grant, but as I understand the story his first name was dropped by mistake when he entered West Point, and he decided to keep it that way.

Anonymous said...

This fine judge has a lot of nerve to post this. Maybe one day he/she will actually post their name. I am sure many of us would love to file to run for your seat and win, then you wont have to worry about this stuff.

Oh, and if you dont want friend requests on facebook, then make your facebook profile completely private. If you knew anything about facebook, you would know this option exists.

Anonymous said...

with the internet why can't we have soundings via web cam from lawyers offices.

you sign in to the net wait your turn. the judge starts clicking a few mouse buttons from left to right and hearing cases from chambers, at least sounding.

technology people!

Anonymous said...

Just because the PD is in court all day, does not mean his client has to be there all morning, too. Take things out of turn, that way you know they are ready to be addressed, when you address them. If an arraignment plea is ready to be taken, don't make the client wait all morning, because you "have to get through your calendar." Common sense and respect is all we ask for.

Anonymous said...

Big talk from some judges. The problem is most of them don't follow through and they are prepared to throw those judges who do run a tight ship under the bus when talking to lawyers.

Anonymous said...

The debate goes on. The lawyers blame the judges and the judges blame the lawyers.

If a judge does not run the courtroom the way the lawyers want (whether it be private counsel or PD) then the judge is insensitive, inconsiderate, discourteous and "nasty".

Well judges, I challenge you. Are you ready to butch up against the Defense Bar and say, "Them's are the rules. Follow them."? Or are you going to wimp away into your corners and hide, only to hand up your colleagues in order to curry favor like the hypocrites you are.

Is it "all for one and one for all", or "what's good for me is good for me."? What say you all?

I think I already know the answer.

(Here's a hint: Who said: "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for hamburger today."?)

old guy said...

Too easy: WIMPY

Anonymous said...

Tecnology will not be used for soundings. The security guard union wants bodies in the courthouse so that they can make them wait in line outside.

Anonymous said...

2:05 must be Don Horn

Anonymous said...

Curtesy, consideration and respect are all I want. I try to give it and hope for it in return. Yes Sir , No Mamam, Please and Thank You go a long way, IF you Use them. A Little Common Sence never hurt, either.
D, Sisselman

Anonymous said...

As a defense attorney, I would much prefer to appear before a judge who takes the bench on time, exhibits appropriate demeanor, takes private attorneys out of turn, is fair, follows the law and rules on matters promptly RATHER THAN a judge who is defense-oriented and who lacks one or more of the aforementioned attributes.

Anonymous said...

Who give's a horse's behind what you do not like! You are a public servant. I have been in front of judges who do not like you to read in their court, judges who do not like any noise above 1/2 decibel, judges who abruptly and on a continuing basis jump off the bench and say they have a luncheon to go to (at 11:30) and tell everyone to be back at 2:00 PM, judges who like to put the a/c sky high so everybody else must freeze their butts off for the sake of the judge's personal comfort. Too bad that you do not like lawyers who make a parenthesis sign with their hands. This is not the middle ages and you are not the Baron of Dade County.

Anonymous said...

more on the porn star intern please

Anonymous said...

there just arent that many milfy judges out there so i think i can narrow it down.

the trialmaster said...

11;51. The clients who have PDs do not have jobs that they need to attend to. If they did they would not request the PD in the first place. Do you think they have to get out of court to do brain surgery? the only place they have to be is to pick up their food stamps and welfare checks that we pay for.

Anonymous said...

"Getting those stupid facebook emails. I'm not your friend and I don't want to be your friend. Stop adding me to your friend list. I won't respond."

To that I say STFU!

Anonymous said...

Holy Crap David. Go rent a computer with "spell check". I pity the person who had to grade your Bar exam.

Anonymous said...

trialmaster your comments are based in fantasy, as is you name.