Just to prove that our dear robed readers are not the only ones that can behave badly through email, we report to you today on the emerging "DUES CONTROVERSY" involving the Miami Chapter of the Florida Association of Criminal Defense Attorneys.
Earlier in the week an email was sent on the FACDL Listserv, which is a private service in which if you're a member of the FACDL you can send out emails that reach all the members. Most emails are usually something like "does the 4th amendment prohibit unreasonable searches AND seizures? It's been a while since I've read it."
At which point a few hundred lawyers' blackberrys start beeping and they leave meetings or bow out of secret assignations to answer the call of their colleague in distress.
The email that went out this week was an application for 2010 with a reminder for members to pay their dues.
One member responded that the FACDL's policy of offering discounted dues to Public Defenders should be discontinued, since, and we're not quoting exactly here "PDs have generous salaries not to mention full benefits."
Faster than you can say "Judges Diaz and Faber", hundreds of responses began flooding the FACDL listserv, causing at one point Bill Gates to exclaim "what the F is going on with those lawyers in Miami?"
You see, here's the thing: Most members of FACDL got their start as public employees in the PD or SAO office. Most remember their service as a great time, when they learned the law, made great friends who all pitched in to help make it on tight budgets. This email was, to put it mildly, asking for trouble. Kind of like going into Judge Diaz's courtroom and citing precedent written by a County Court Judge.
The responses varied from the profane (one well respected lawyer wrote that it was time to "shut the f up") to the funny. In that light, we present the famous Daniel Tibbitt. Mr. Tibitt shows he's not just an ace PD; he's not just a football savant as he has survived to the final four in our suicide pool, but he is very funny to boot (although he shouldn't get any ideas about writing a blog):
As a current PD, I must wholeheartedly agree that we are simply way overpaid. The number of tens of thousands of dollars I make a year requires almost one full hand of fingers to count. My real problem is where to spend it all. After repaying my law school loan and paying the rent for my palatial one bedroom apartment, I am left with literally hundreds of dollars every month to spend on anything I damn well please. Now sure, some of that has to go towards food, and bills (for instance, my incredible salary allows me the luxury of having a non-corded "cellular" telephone) and gas (I drive a 1998 Chrysler Cirrus, it is straight pimping and represents the ultimate in decade old Detroit ingenuity, for instance it has air conditioning that works beautifully as long as its not too hot AND the seats recline, oh yes).
I had hoped that I would be able to keep riding this PD gravy train forever but I fear the discussion on this listserv indicates the rest of you may be onto us and how overpaid we are. We may have to discontinue our proud tradition of PD Friday lunches at Joes Stone Crab and renting out the Versace mansion for our PD Christmas party. And, I haven't mentioned that we do indeed get "full benefits". That's right, in addition to our overly generous salary we also are blessed with a little thing called "health care." If I get sick, there's no trekking down to the local ER to wait and
see the emergency physician for me. No, I get on the phone, call my own personal doctor, get a convenient appointment for 2 weeks from now, and presto, I'm cured (provided I haven't healed on my own in the intervening 2 weeks). You wouldn't think the State of Florida would waste money on keeping its employees healthy, but believe it or not, they do, and thats money that goes right into my pocket (well not so much my pocket as the health care industry's pocket, but who's counting).
And then, on top of all that, I get to pay 50 dollars less than you suckers in the private bar in annual dues to FACDL. If you don't think I'm chuckling to myself about my good fortune in that regard as I'm spending that 50 bucks on champagne and caviar every year, you are sadly incorrect.
In conclusion, I can only hope that Ms. Wear's email does not start a groundswell of activism that will overturn the "confiscatory" $75 in annual dues private attorneys pay to FACDL. That word was as well chosen as was the attack on the PD's, since as we all know joining FACDL is a mandatory obligation.
In seriousness, thanks to all of you at FACDL for the services you provide and I hope everyone enjoys their weekend.
Dan Tibbitt