THE 17TH AVENUE BRIDGE IS OPEN!!

 Long storied in song and fable, the 17th Avenue Bridge, which spans the mighty Miami River, is now open once again. This bridge which has brought countless clients to the courthouse for rescue and redemption; this bridge, which has conveyed legions of prosecutors to work in the early morning hours, hopeful that an early start to the day of trial will result in a win, only to see their hopes dashed against the rocks of a Rumpole cross and closing, is once again open, connecting our little slice of heaven known as the REGJB with the sights and smells of Cafecito like only they can make it on Calle Ocho. 

While it lacks the historical significance of the bridge at Remagen; the grandeur and majesty of the Brooklyn Bridge or the romance of the Ponce des Arts in Paris, our 17th avenue viaduct serves its purpose to those who call the crossroads of 12th street and 12th Avenue their second home. 

Welcome back old friend!

17th AVENUE BRIDGE RE-OPENS

Rumour has it that one of the more distressing periods in REGJB history has come to (or will soon come to) an inglorious end with the re-opening of the 17th avenue bridge.

If you recall, in an example of superb urban planning, while re-constructing the 12th Street Bridge, city planners suddenly decided to close the 17th avenue bridge, effectively reducing access to the REGJB from most points south to one or two lanes of obstructed traffic on one bridge over the famed Miami River (motto used to be: “cops dump your drug rip-off murder victims bodies here”. You younger lawyers go ask someone who has been around a while).

Of course the 17th avenue Bridge’s sudden closure was not the result of anything other than a bridge collapsing in Minnesota, which prompted some intern in the Miami City Engineer’s office, who happened to be watching CNN, to do a little investigation which yielded the interesting result that the last time the 17th avenue bridge was inspected Richard Gerstein was sitting on the 6th floor running things.

So rather than face the tragedy of a bunch of judges and lawyers unceremoniously dumped into the Miami River in their Lexus SUV’s (who said our blog was depressing? Can you think of a better picture to cheer you up on a Monday?) someone decided to inspect the bridge and found that the last temporary repair of scotch tape and paper clips was just about to fail. And ever since our commuting time to work has doubled.

But now free at last, free at last, we can drive our fuel inefficient SUV’s to work while on the phone and drinking starbucks while screaming at a client, at last!

See You In Court, and now you know how to find us- just hang out on the 17th avenue Bridge and watch us commute to work.

UPDATE: Thanks to hawaiian shirt wearing former Dade PD Roy Gonzalez for alerting us to our mistake about the bridge being on 17th avenue, not street. Roy writes in to tell us that retirement was boring so he is now practicing law in Sebring.

Hmm...no work...no shirt and tie...no clients complaining..no jails to visit...sit around all day and drink beer and cash a pension cheque....somebody needs to get Roy a psych eval!!!