NE

 We left the Magic City for many reasons, one of which was to avoid the soul-sucking storms and the endless loops of video on channel 7 showing long lines at Home Depot and empty shelves at supermarkets while reporters try and control the hysteria in their voices: The rain has started here in Hialeah and most gas stations are out of gas. With winds whipping at eight to ten miles per hour experts are now saying it's the time to hunker down. We go now to a live report in Miami Gardens where Anna Sanchez Castro-Lopez is reporting that McDonalds is limiting purchases to ten burgers and fries per customer as people prepare to go hungry...

And now here in the Northeast we are facing a Nor'easter hitting this weekend. The reporting is just not the same:  The storm is expected to hit coastal regions this weekend from Massachusetts to Long Island. There will be wind and rain and both the Yankees and Mets are expected to announce moving their games. Broadway shows for Saturday may be canceled, alternate side of the street parking will be suspended as of Friday, and bodegas are selling lots of chopped cheese sandwiches. In other news the UN is in town, the president threatened to bomb Belgium unless they lower the price of his favorite chocolate; he ordered the Commerce Department to rename the East River the Trump Tower Canal, and slapped a 90% tariff on all hockey pucks and goalie masks made in Canada in advance of the start of the National Hockey League. In return Canadian Prime Minster issued a statement 'The fault dear Brutus lies not in our stars but in ourselves that we are underlings.'  causing the white house to issue a statement that they applaud the Canadian Prime Minister quoting the great American writer Mark Twain. *

Speaking of literature:  One of the world's great writers Annie Dillard passed away this week. She was a master of sentences with a style uniquely her own. You should order some of her books while buying that organic dandruff shampoo that has gone viral on Amazon. Dillard wrote thirteen books, won a Pulitzer Prize and a National Humanities Award during the Obama administration when we had people in power who actually read and understood literature. 

Some examples of her sentences:

The sun was going. The world was wrong...This color has never been seen on earth. The hues were metallic; their finish was matte. Teaching a Stone to Talk.

 About the streets of Pittsburgh: The old cobblestones were pale humpy ovals like loaves.

And finally: Seeing a partial eclipse bears the same relation to seeing a total eclipse as kissing a man does to marrying him, or flying in an airplane does to falling out of an airplane. Although the one experience precedes the other, it in no ways prepares you for it,

Go try and find something on an IG reel that hits the way the last line of that paragraph does. Go ahead, try. You never will. 

But hey, keep scrolling to find that sandwich on 8th street going viral. 

 Dolphins return home this week after a disastrous two-week road trip.  The KC Chiefs are in town with their resurgent running game to complement their QB who is decent. The line is KC -30. 

And finally, Rumpole's fav stock Nvidia (along with Apple) is undervalued. It's up 22% this year while the overall average for chip stocks is up 77%. The shares currently trade at 17 times forward earning, less than its five-year average. And there is this: historically stocks gain nearly 15% after a fed rate hike like we had last week, as opposed to a 9% increase after a rate cut. Wait! You are saying. Stocks are supposed to fall after rate hikes. Initially, they do. But if you think about it, the numbers make sense. Rate hikes reflect a backward looking response to economic strengths which then are reflected in the next quarters' numbers, which causes the market to rise. What we are worrying about- the breadth. It's narrow. But fear not, we are keeping an eye on things for you. 

Speaking of keeping an eye on things: Who had downloaded MUSE? It's quite interesting.  

* For our robed readers and those raised on tik tok and IG and not books, the quote is actually from Shakespeare and our attribution to the white house misidentifying it is an example of irony and humor ridiculing the lack of intellect in those who currently speak for our country.