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Saturday, July 17, 2021

BEETS BEAT BEEF

Global warming and climate changes are falsehoods, perpetrated by left wing, pizza shop owning, child exploiting, Chinese agents who have bribed Hillary Clinton along with the Muslim Imams controlling former President Obama. 

The fact the Western United States is burning; that the hottest days on earth ever recorded have occurred this summer, and a flash flood just killed hundreds in Germany is merely....(everyone now) fake media! 

So, if you were in fact brainwashed and wanted to flee the worst effects of global warming and climate change, where would you go? The Pacific Northwest has frequent fires, is in the midst of the tenth "thousand year drought" in the last fifteen years; lake Meade which provides water for millions is rapidly becoming a puddle. Remaining in Florida is out- killer hurricanes and the prospect of Immokalee becoming Miami Beach as the ocean floods half of our state. Europe, devastated by heat waves and now flooding is no longer safe. 

Where would you go to establish a safe base in these troubling times?

When we consider such troubling issues, we repair to 11 Madison Park, our favourite US restaurant which recently re-opened in June (no 15,000 waitlist for us, courtesy of a little case-quieting work for a member of the staff). And here is what we found- there is nary a piece of animal protein on the menu! 

Ceramic pots with aging beets, dehydrated, re-hydrated, smoked and carved table side "a-jus" is the closest you will come to a sliced steak. Caviar from seeds are served like a dish of beluga, and went well with an ice cold vodka martini. Lettuce wraps, vegan bread baked without butter or any animal products, watermelon and peach salads, cheesy dips made with brewers yeast, all conjure up the thought that we are paying over four hundred dollars to eat creatively crafted veggies. 

And yet, it works and it works amazingly well. 

The second vodka also helps one forget that we are destroying our planet and that we may be forever condemned to history as the generation that destroyed the earth. 

But hey, as they say in Texas, Oklahoma, and Alaska to name a few places- drill baby drill. It is America's destiny to destroy earth with SUVs and Big Macs because animal farming contributes to 14.5% of all human produced greenhouse gasses. 

We will have another plate of beets please along with the watermelon salad. 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Climate change is an existential crisis that demands immediate action if we want to save the planet. The virus epidemic was an excellent dry run for the types of emergency measures that we must adopt and fast. To that end, do the following NOW:
1. limit driving to ten miles per day per adult.
2. outlaw meat consumption.
3. AC below 75 degrees should be punishable by mandatory jail time.
4. most important, the conservative ecosphere has published via the internet and podcasting a huge amount of misinformation on climate change. It is causing people to think for themselves. These deniers need to be rooted out and their platforms eliminated.
These are just a few of the public policy proposals that need to be adopted quickly. It will take a few years but once this climate of fear takes hold, the crisis will be averted.

Anonymous said...

A\C at 75? This is an emergency sir. Air conditioning is murder. Ban them now!