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Friday, October 23, 2020

WE VOTED

 This is a primer on how to vote in Florida. 

First. You must pass the Voter History Test.  Q: Who were the runner ups in the 1956 Republican Presidential Primary and Democratic Vice Presidential Primary? *

Second. Having passed the test (piece of cake) you then show up at your Voting Site and register so you can be assigned your Voter Assistant (VA).  Expert Tip: Ask to have a VA who has similar views as yours assigned to you. 

Third. By law ballots must be assigned randomly. There is a large tumbler that slowly and continually stirs up the ballots. Reach in and grab your ballot. Under (semi) rare circumstances, your ballot may include a Jacksonville Congressional Race. Just wing it. 

Fourth. You may vote by check mark, by circling your favourite candidate on the ballot, or by using an orange high-lighter. Any writing instrument OTHER than a Russian manufactured #2 pencil is acceptable. 

Fifth. If your ballot has Al Gore and George Bush on it, you may exchange it at any local 7-11 for a full-size Slurpee of your choice 

Sixth. If you vote on SW 8th Street, your presidential choices will be Donald J. Trump,  Paul Harvey (good day!), Barry Goldwater, or John Birch. 

Seventh. Mark your ballot (see #4) and submit it to the Dade County Canvassing Board for approval. To do this, you will take your ballot in a semi-sealed green envelope, leave your polling spot, drive downtown to the Miami Dade Government Building, and take the elevator to the Clerk's Office. When the Board approves your ballot, go back to your polling place. 

Eighth. Your ballot will be electronically scanned using Tik Tok on your phone. Open the App, scan the ballot into a video and then email the video to VoteFl@Miami [your precinct number here].vote. 

Ninth. Get your "I Voted!" sticker and leave and congratulations on your jury service. 

* Robert Taft and John F Kennedy. 



5 comments:

Fake Judge Elect Rosy Aponte said...

As I myself me having voted for myself and me wonning a judgeshipes voting is very emportant. Firstist I urgist all peoples to vote in the Supreme Court Election and Darnald Trumps' judge Amee Bartlet Cones as the Jutise-Judge for the Supreme Court. And maybe soon I myself may run maybee in Judge Thomas Clarnence's slot when he is ready to retire.

Also we all must get ready and take the day off for voting on Sunday November 1 and do the duty that President Abram Linkoln said is the mostest ciziens duty except for fighting in the army as a jury.

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Phil Maniatty said...

I thought JFK wasn't the V.P. runner up until 1956.

Phil Maniatty said...

I thought JFK wasn't the V.P. runner up until 1956.

Anonymous said...

I watched Dava Tunis this week go crazy with a lawyer who has been around a long time. After she gave a long rambling speech, the lawyer finally said, would you please let me finish a single sentence. She then said that there were too many people waiting so, yup, she didn't let him finish a single sentence without interruption.

Dava, there is a reason a complete moron beat you.

Anonymous said...

Sorry Rump. you got it wrong on Ike but right on Adlai. The correct answer is Joe Smith (1 vote). You mistook 1956 for 1952 where Taft (Mr. Republican)did in fact finish second.