Tuesday, March 13, 2018


(the following is based on national-fake news sources. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent.)

The last days of Rex Tillerson....

Thursday March 8, 2018.
Rex Tillerson arrives in Ethiopia. He is surprised to learn that his boss has agreed to meet to North Korean dictator and killer of American tourists and students  Kim JongUn. 
Tillerson responds by stating that "We're a long way from negotiations.
This announcement surprises and angers  the President who at that precise moment is negotiating for the delivery of McDonald Hamburgers and Kentucky Fried Chicken to North Korea for the meeting. 
Presidential Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee-Sanders calls the food "freedom meals." 

Friday March 9, 2018. 
The next day Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is awoken from sleep around 2:30 AM by Chief of Staff John Kelly who tells Tillerson to expect a "tweet" after the weekend.  Trump is in his PJ's watching the Best of Dean Martin Roasts on cable TV. 
Presidential Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee-Sanders announces that the White House has bought more space on iCloud to list the latest resignations from the White House. 

Friday March 10, 2018. 
The President is scheduled to receive his daily briefing at 11:00 a.m, but instead plays Tiger Woods Golf on Xbox. The President then tweets that "Tiger got a bum deal. The women lied. Fakes news!" 
The Secretary of State asks for a briefing on the economic situation in Africa but is told that Jared Kushner has revoked his security clearance. Instead, he is given an iPad and googles "Africa" and "problems?" 

Saturday March 11, 2018. 
Secretary Of State Tillerson clears his schedule. He isn't feeling well. 
Trump goes to Pittsburgh where he campaigns for a Republican for Congress. He calls the White House switchboard looking for his wife, but all the switchboard operators have resigned, and is forced to leave a voicemail after listening to this message: "You've reached the best white house switchboard. A switchboard that no one has ever seen one as good. If you are a cabinet member seeking to resign press one; if you represent a porn star and want to have your client give an interview, press two; if you are the attorney general of the United States, you suck and your time is coming pal."

Sunday March 12, 2018.
CIA Director Mike Pompeo goes on Meet the Press and is asked by Chuck Todd about Tillerson's involvement in the upcoming Korean negotiations. Pompeo suppresses a giggle and responds "Who?" before saying, "Oh, yeah, well, we will see about that."
Tillerson receives a secure message from Ivanka Trump asking for four bottles of Kahlua. 
Presidential Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee-Sanders calls the news that a new counter in Times Square - similar to the deficit counter-that will count the total of White House resignations- "fake counter news". 

Monday March 13, 2018. 
Rex Tillerson decides to return to the United States early to "prepare for the North Korean negotiations." His trip is delayed when during a lay-over in London, he is bumped to stand-by on an American Airlines flight. 
Prime Minister Theresa May announces that Russia is behind the poisoning of a former Russian spy and his daughter who are both living in London. Tillerson immediately issues a statement supporting the English Prime Minister and denouncing Russia. Trump Tweets calling May "Fake News" and "An Obama Plant" and has his phone ripped from his grip by Chief Of Staff Kelly before he can tweet anything else. 
The Secret Service forcibly ejects Trump aide and Body-Man Randy "Macho Man" Savage from the White House for unspecified "Crimes Against Humanity" and finds the book "The Ten Best Speeches of Vladimir Putin" in his office along with a taped language course in Russian and a bottle of Vodka. 
Presidential Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee "Stormy"-Sanders tells the press that the removal had been "planned for months." She then hands out the daily list of White House resignations. 

Tuesday March 14, 2018. 
Tillerson gets a seat on a Virgin Atlantic flight to Dulles. 
Trump, in the Oval Office, points out the window and yells "Look, it's Obama!' and then grabs his phone from Kelly and runs into the bathroom and locks the door and Tweets "Rex You're Fired!'.
Tillerson lands at Dulles. 
The White House issues a statement that Tillerson was fired in November, but "we kinda forgot about ol'Rex."
Tillerson's State Department spokesman Steve Goldstein gives a press conference in which he states that Tillerson was fired by tweet when he landed at Dulles. 
The White House immediately fires Goldstein.
Trump Tweets that "Prime Minister May has lost her mind- she's no Margaret Thatcher."; Trump appoints a Boise, Idaho City Councilman Herb Meyers as Assistant Attorney General for Fake News and orders him to fire Special Counsel Robert Muller. Herb resigns, stating that "I've been honored to serve the president and the people of this country for the last forty-two minutes. I just wish I could have seen the White House before I quit."
Sarah-Huckabee Sanders denies all events of the week, stating "fake news fake news fake news" before announcing "the planned departure of the White House grounds crew, the White House kitchen staff, the White House valets, the White House barber, and the White House gardening crew." After the press briefing she is asked to leave the press room by John Kelly who has revoked her security clearance.
The President ends the day watching Sean Hannity, who calls Rex Tillerson  a "Hillary Clinton  lovin fool" and eating four portions of dippin dots for dessert.


Anonymous said...

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Robert Kuntz said...


Your blog. Do as you please. But this is becoming tedious.

Readers of "The Justice Building Blog" come to your blog for, ya know, Justice Building stuff. This used to be a reliable, entertaining, informative place for that -- maybe the best place for that. Miami-Dade is, I think, the fourth largest court system in the country. There's tons going on and your blog long played an important role revealing and commenting on that. Now, too often, it is just another one of scores and scores and scores of blogs mostly trading in snarky commentary about Trump and his many foibles and follies. Agreed there is no lack of material there but, honestly, you don't write all that well about the topic.

As stated, it's your blog and you can do as you damn please. But you know what one of Trump's core failings is? It appears that he never listens to anyone about himself. Indeed it may well be that his narcissism renders him incapable of doing so. You are, presumably, not similarly afflicted. That means you can either willingly engage in the same character flaw, or you can heed -- or at least consider -- those of us who tell you that this is not your strong suit.

Most of these sorts of comments get posted anonymously, which I think makes them easier for you to disregard. This one isn't. Please give it some consideration.

Anonymous said...

An attorney for one of the Parkland survivors filed a Motion to Disqualify the State Attorney and PD in State vs Cruz alleging Conflicts of Interest. Does a supposed victim have standing to file suck a Motion?

Rumpole said...

Mr. Kuntz, you are correct about one thing, and one thing only. This is my blog.
Please click here. http://www.disney.com/

Also, please stop reading. I am sure of one thing. No one will be emailing me asking where you went.

Yours etc.,
HR, Esq.
Blog Proprietor

Robert Kuntz said...


That was a fruitful exchange.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Kuntz,

As a long-time blog-reader, I am enjoying Rumpole's remarks about the administration. Frankly, I have trouble focusing on other subjects now. Our nation is going through unprecedented times. We have a 'leader' who disregards the rule of law, demands impunity for doing so, and punishes those who question his prerogatives. He has alienated our allies and truckled to our enemies. No one knows how to make this stop. No one knows whether we can ever repair the damage he does every minute. This is a man who wants to 'fix' the First Amendment, raze the Eighth to execute drug dealers, dispose of immigrants like old garbage, and shut the door on anyone else. Except Norwegians.

I'm always surprised that anyone can think of anything else right now. I envy you.

Anonymous said...

The people who are the most anti-Trump are those who act the most like him.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Kuntz

With all due respect, asking learned people not to discuss the president's almost daily outrages is the new way to defend Trump. Frankly, Rumpole is not discussing it enough. For instance, the little racist who passes as our attorney general has decided to take on states where marijuana has been legalized and routinely says things about federal judges which would generate bar proceedings against you or me. Also, he has declared war on California because they don't want to help pay for his ethnic roundups and detentions. The administration is a continuing threat to the constitution and to decent people. You are a great advocate and a wonderful writer, don't defend these fascist with your silence or at least don't ask those with the courage to speak to abide this disgrace.

Anonymous said...

Kuntz what do you think of millennial me?

Anonymous said...


I agree with you about the relative quality of rump's posts on Trump... his other stuff is better. But they are attempts at creativity. I admire those who try new things, even if they are not playing to their strengths.

Along those same lines, whenever I see video of gwbush talking about his painting, I feel happy for the guy.

As for 532 and 552, your arguments are profoundly silly. Everything doesn't have to be about Trump-- it just doesn't.

Anonymous said...

9:52, I'm with you! There is nothing more important to chronicle than what is going on in Washington. This President is an outrage and history will not look kindly on those who ignore the daily accumulation of lies and corruption. He vowed to drain the swamp yet brought in a cesspool. He is a clear and present danger to all that is decent and good in America. He must be stopped.

Anonymous said...

No idea waht 5:41 means. Does he mean that if you're anti-Trump you lie all the time? If you're anti-Trump your greed is your only driver? If you're anti-Trump you welsh on your debts? If you're anti-Trump you dislike Muslims, immigrants and Latinos? If you're anti-Trump you think the law doesn't apply to you? If you're anti-Trump you treat women like meat? If you're anti-Trump you think your critics should be bullied into silence? If you're anti-Trump you don't read? If you're anti-Trump you prefer autocracies to democracies?

Anonymous said...

I have never met mr cuntz but I do agree with his sentiments. The alternative to trump was Clinton. Many of us had had enough of that family and are delighted that’ rump beat her and lowered taxes.

Robert Kuntz said...

I feared my comment might be taken for a defense of President Trump, or a call for less criticism of him. Let me be clear: All other considerations aside, the fellow has the personality and impulse control of a hungry toddler who has missed his nap -- traits undesirable at best, and existentially dangerous at worst, for a President of the United States. So it's not that I don't want anyone to criticize him, I just think others do it more artfully. And it's not that I want less conversation about him overall. It's just that I would have preferred less here, as it seems to displace the content I -- and, I suspect, other longtime readers -- most enjoy.

Put it this way: Salt, pepper and garlic are wonderful on a steak, and I can hardly get too much of them there. But they aren't what I'm looking for on a stack of pancakes. That said, and as he is both quick and justified to point out, Rumpole is the cook in this diner. He can serve breakfast however he likes. But then it shouldn't come as a surprise if the customers complain from time to time. In doing so, I'm just not the sort of guy to drop my anonymous complaint in the suggestion box.

(And, let's all be honest with one another: Rumpole certainly relished the chance to respond as I expected he would. In another context, I think folks call that "good radio.")

As for Millennial Me, from my age and perspective I find her posts . . . fascinating. I feel a bit like the cliched anthropologist from central casting, in the Frankie and Annette beach movies of my childhood, offered a glimpse into "what those young people are up to."

Seth Sklarey said...

Somehow a Secretary of State named after a German Shepard somehow didn't inspire confidence. Trump kept saying "Here Rex."