Friday, March 22, 2013


The gavel was passed today from Joel Brown to Bertie Soto, who became the chief judge of the Eleventh Judicial Circuit of Miami-Dade County, Florida. 

There was an overflow audience in attendance today  in the ceremonial courtroom in 6-1 at the civil courthouse on Flagler Street in downtown Miami. After getting directions and arriving late and squeezing into a disappointing vantage point to watch the ceremonies,  we saw a beaming Judge Soto  sworn in as Miami's next Chief Judge. 

Our reflection on the speeches, proclamations and pronouncements leads us to say this: it does Judge Soto a disservice to continually reflect on the fact that she is both the first Hispanic and first woman to be Chief Judge of the 11th Judicial Circuit. Not that those accomplishments aren't something to be proud of. They are.  

But Judge Soto was elected Chief Judge by her colleagues not because she is a woman, or because she is Hispanic, but because she is a hell-of-a judge. She earned this election and appointment by her colleagues  not because of what she is, but because of who she is, and in the end, doesn't that mean so much more? 

Au Revoir Judge Brown and Congratulations Judge Soto. 

And when you have a moment can we chat on the portion of the parking lot those people from the department of health stole from us? 

A beautiful spring weekend leads us into the Jewish holiday of Passover next week, so there won't be a lot going on.  As we were saying while waiting for an aging elevator in the civil courthouse to flee from the premises while surrounded by an uncomfortable number of civil lawyers: "Let my people go." 

See You In Court. 


Anonymous said...

I knew that was you! Your umbrella poked me in the butt in the elevator sir.

Rumpole said...


Anonymous said...

Great the fox is gaurding the hen house. Now a judge will have to practically say "I am a hack" to get reassigned. At least it seems like Chief Brown would reassign problem judges as he did on the last rotation.

Anonymous said...

She is a nice lady but no legal scholar and not really a leader. This is like when the most popular girl won the student council election.

FAKE ALEx Michaels said...

You vanted it....you got it.


Fake Alex Michaels on twitter.


Anonymous said...

Ok. Followed him on twiiter- this one is f'ing hysterical:

Fake Alex Michaels ‏@draculawyer
Likes: Wine, women, money.
Dislikes: Prosecutors, judges, lawyers, clients, people, clerks,court reporters, FlaBar, 3rd DCA, Feds, Pds.etc.

Anonymous said...

Ok. I was following fake edward shevernadze fake ayatollah khomeni and fake matt lauer. But I'll add Alex.

Anonymous said...

3/23/13 nailed it.

Soto is very nice and personable but she really has no legal accolades and accomplishments. As an ASA, she was no mover and shaker...unlike her father who is and certainly paved the way for her politically. As a Judge, she has absolutely merited her accomplishments yet, undeniably, she progresses by only aking a safe and politically correct route. She would never ruffle the feathers of the SAO or law enforcement.

I hope her obvious lacking in the superstar lawyer department does not impact her new governing position.

Anonymous said...

Create a fake twitter name and then a tweet representing the name like this:

@fakejoelbrown "I'm outta here. Show me the money!"
@fakeblake "is everybodyhappy?"
Try it. It's fun.

Anonymous said...

Seminole County Chief arrested for purjury.


Anonymous said...

Soto as Chief Judge shows how far the quality of the bench has fallen. We use to have CJ's like the Great Ed Cowart, Weathington, and Joel. Now look what we are stuck with. At least its better than Bernstein.

Anonymous said...

Check out Herald's story about Judge Firtel letting a dangerous offender out of jail. The offender is now on the loose. Great job, Leon.

Anonymous said...

someone dropped a dime on Firtel. Probably the SAO. Read Ovalle's column in the Herald

Caribbean Cigars said...

NCAA and Cigar fans know the best place to be is Caribbean Cigars.
Rolling Stone calls us Miami's Best Kept Secret.
Esquire says that we're the hippest place west of South Beach.
Our customers just say we're the best. So head west on Bird road and right before the Everglades turn when you see the big green Gator smoking a Stogie.

Rumpole said...

Just hold on here. Judges like Firtel make dozens of bond decisions a month. And one bond goes bad and everyone gets wild? Soon legislators will introduce the "NO BOND" bill. Watch.

Anonymous said...

You can try to defend Firtel all you want, Rumpole, but the truth is that this was a really bone-headed decision. The guy was already out on bond with an ankle bracelet? Involved in a robbery involving 2 million dollars' worth of gold? And the monetary bond was only 75K? And he's got no real ties to Miami-Dade except for criminal ties? Sure, judges made decisions every day, but this was something no experienced judge should have done.
Now because he made such a stupid decision, clients are going to be made to sit in jail because other judges are going to be afraid of the press Firtel has generated.

Anonymous said...

Need an opinion blog mates:

Seeing a woman who is about 5 levels above me looks wise, and 9 levels below me brains wise. She's been at my apartment since Friday and in every conversation at some point she will say "OMG" - she actually says the letters "O" "M" "G". And that pretty much is the highest level of conversation that she can achieve.

So it boils down to this: brains or beauty in a GF? And by the way (or as she would say BTW) her looks stop traffic. She's a solid 10.

Anyway, do I push her to the curb or keep the great sex?

Anonymous said...

7:27, Lemme guess, she's a blow up doll, right?

BTW, when did this blog become the go to for sex advice?

Anonymous said...

Soto isn't mean nor bitchy. She is a little conservative and but does look for agreements. Have
Known her over 20 years, opposed her as a PD when she first came to Felonies as an ASA. Tried many cases against her; She had a good trial style and wasn't a over the top prosecutor.
Growing up in the Mid-West she understands discrimination.
She also has a rare quality, Common Sense . Also On or off the Bench she is polite and considerate of others, even Defendants & lawyers before her

Anonymous said...

Heard through the shumie grapevine this is place for sex advice.

I'm in a good shape, decent looking, have a well paid respectable job but can't find a good woman. What irks me, however, is that I sometimes see couples out and the women are babes and the guys are 'doughboys' or not attractive looking. Why, how do ugly or fat guys get hot looking women?

I know there is more to a person than just looks but why would a beautiful woman who takes care of herself be with a guy like that? Are good looking women insecure or are men are intimidated by them?

What say you?

Anonymous said...

How about we give Soto a chance before we call for her slaughter?


Anonymous said...

Beautiful women present an "Out of my league syndrome" in the average male, making him afraid of getting rebuffed if he tries to ask her out.

Anonymous said...

Just the Average Joes' opinion on landing a hot woman.

Most good looking women don't get asked out a lot because most guys assume they have a boyfriend meanwhile she's thinking "why aren't men attracted to me?" or is she thinks, "there must be something wrong with me?" Slowly her self confidence is destroyed and her self esteem lowers. In walks the average Joe who sees this woman and thinks "What do I have to lose, I'll ask her out." Boom! Average Joe lands a beautiful

Anonymous said...

It seems only assholes run for judge nowadays. We had De la O and Labora last year, Al Milian this year. Now comes Martin Zilber: http://www.wsvn.com/features/articles/investigations/MI92527/

Are no nice people left who want to be judges?????? Why so many jerks

Anonymous said...

Here is a simple mathematical formula I use. I call it the simple-sexy scale.

The Number should be 15. Some say 16, but I say 15 is fine.

So the holy grail is the hottie who is a 8 in looks and a 7 in brains. If she is an 8 in brains, she is out of your league.

Some examples. The sexy librarian might be a 6 or 7 in looks but for a 6 if she is a 9 in brains, bingo- get her. Ditto if she is a 7 in looks and 8 in brains.

Of course the downside is the Victoria secrete model who's a 10 and a 5. Get ready for hot nights and boring days.

Anonymous said...

WTF is it with Hispanic parents who name their daughter "Milady"??? Is this some Knights of the Roundtable Arthurian fricking joke?

I meet this nice woman who is beautiful and a very intelligent pre-med student but her f'ing name is "Milady" and I can't get past it. And I cannot figure out some nickname that will get me through her nightmare of a name. It's at the point where it is turning me off. I mean who, in the throes of passion can moan "oh yes, Milady, oh yes, right there, do it.."

(sigh). There is no justice.

Anonymous said...

This explains why so many 'average joes' land hot babes. If they have kids let us pray they take after the mother.

Anonymous said...

Believe it or not, beautiful women have a hard time meeting men. The reason being that most men are intimidated by their looks. They think that because she looks good, she must be high maintenance, hard to get, already dating, and snobby. The few men that do approach her are all players who like to play head games just to get into her panties and claim her as a trophy. Some average joes that date beautiful women know this. They know that in most cases, beautiful women are single, fed up of head games and craving for a real man to approach them and desire them for who they are and not solely for their bodies.

Anonymous said...

A handsome man spots a gorgeous girl. He immediately thinks, “She’s so hot she’s got to be taken.” He overlooks her. The pretty girl never gets approached. She notices she’s being ignored by a hot guy and thinks there’s something wrong with her. She’s clueless and distraught, but she tries to go on her merry way. A few minutes later, a really beastly, ugly-critter looking guy spots the gorgeous girl and he thinks to himself, “This girl is HOT! I’m going to take my chances, another rejection isn’t going to hurt, besides, I feel today is my lucky day!” Ugly guy approaches gorgeous girl. Gorgeous girl is confused as she thinks to herself, “No one really takes the time to get to know me, what the hell, he may be the one, I’ll give it a shot.”

That’s why Average Joes get the hottie.

Anonymous said...

Average joes get the hotties because they know they're lucky to have them and treat them with respect and admiration.
Hot guys are too busy trying to strut their own stuff and think they're entitled to a hot woman that they don't treat her as anything more than an object of their conquest.

Anonymous said...

Most beautiful women are only approached by hunters aka hot guys who are busy strutting around their shit and feel entitled to a hottie.

Meanwhile, the simple guys, average joes, geeks sit in the back of the room and admire her from afar and think, 'what the hell I'll give it a shot' and succeed. They are grateful, and don't take advantage of their hottie by treating her like some type of trophy. Respect.

Anonymous said...

It is not unusual for beautiful women to be lonely because no one will ask them out on a date. Guys either assume that she is already taken or shallow and don't bother. Instead they ask the girl out who appears to be more approachable. Meanwhile the babe is passed over. I get nervous approaching a beautiful woman but I don't let that stop me.

My two cents, hot guys feel entitled to a hottie and more or less treat them like objects, arm candy and behave like a douche bag. Average Joes appreciate hot women and appreciate their inner beauty.

Anonymous said...

Aren't most men put off by attractive women?

Anonymous said...

@7:30, Yea because every time I see an attractive woman I'm nauseated, dingus.

My brother-in law who is an average joe surprised everyone when he married a very beautiful woman. She loves him because he literally worships the ground she walks on, treats her very well with kindness and respect. Married for ten plus years and they still behave like newlyweds. Not to sound too mean, but unfortunately, their kids look just like him.

What the heart wants, the heart wants.

Anonymous said...

Berti Soto as chief judge? God help us all.