REQUIEM FOR A FEDERAL JUDGE

 Judge Altman went to Colombia and Yale. (So did Rumpole. We visited, didn't get in, and left). He had a cup of coffee as an AUSA, did a stint in private practice- realized no real person could bill 2200 hours a year, and was appointed by you know who to the Federal Bench.  Once on the bench he has received very good reviews as an intelligent and thoughtful jurist. He threw himself into his job, mastered the learning curve quickly, and basically has done everything right. 

Then Hamas attacked Israel, a Yale law professor tweeted on X "Settlers are not civilians. This is not hard" (@zareenagerwal) and also posted a video of the attack and X'd (tweeted?) "It's been an extraordinary day". 

 Judge Altman, a Yalie, found himself writing a thoughtful response as to why under international law the people butchered and murdered were not settlers, why Hamas's bloody attack had no basis in law (or humanity for that matter),  and then he pondered pressing the send button. 

To send or not to send, that is the question. Whether tis noblier in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of a dopey Yale law professor/apologist for brutal Hamas murderers, or to take arms against idiocy and wade into the singular most contentious issue of the day.

 Careers larger than Judge Altman's have cratered upon the rocky shoals of the Symplegades Clashing Rocks of the Israeli/ Hamas conflict (including Rumpole's blog, where we dared to speak up for the innocent Palestinians being bombed before Obama weighed in and agreed with us). 

Eventually Judge Altman decided, like Theodore Roosevelt that he did not belong with "those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat",  and he spoke his piece and sent in his article. The backlash was swift, expected, and vitriolic. 

Critics (see the Roosevelt quote above from "The Man in the Arena") weighed in that a federal judge has no right to criticize a Yale Professor and seemingly take Israel's side in the conflict. Judge Raag Singhal SDFL (and another you know who appointee) weighed in in defense of his friend and colleague, and (and you knew this was coming) so did Judge Milt Hirsch. 

Judge Altman's response was not political, but legal. The Yale professor was wrong on the law- no surprise to Rumpole who chews up and spits out Yalie lawyers as a hobby ("Not accept me in your law school? Well I'll show you..."). 

Here is Judge Altman's article in the National Review with the title The Israeli's Slaughtered By Hamas Were Not Settlers. 

DOM covers is all on his blog, including the national newsletter naming Judge Altman "federal judge of the week" (who even knew there was such a thing? We should have thought of that) and Judge Singhal's defense of his friend and colleague. 

All in all just another week in South Florida. The only thing more controversial Judge Altman could have done was defend embattled Michigan Coach Jim Harbaugh. But he wisely left that contretemps alone. 

OH YEAH AND THERE'S THAT

 We rarely peruse the pages of the Florida Bar newsletter - our staff has instructions to deposit the offending circular in the recycle bin as soon as it arrives. We don't need to know that there's a vacancy in the County Court of Ocala, or that Dewey retired from Dewey Cheetum & Howe. 

But for reasons not pertinent to this discussion we spent a few bad minutes thumbing through the pages- time we will never get back- and happened upon this: 

Disbarred for stealing money- and ummmm...oh yeah- he killed his dad. Sort of a weird way of listing the offenses committed that resulted in disbarment wouldn't you say?

Brandon Scott Labiner, 23322 La Vida Way, Boca Raton, disciplinary revocation without leave to seek readmission effective immediately following a September 28 court order. (Admitted to practice: 2016) Labiner misappropriated over $400,000 from his stepmother’s trust fund, of which he was the sole trustee. He also forged documents submitted to the Bar, including bank records and an affidavit, and failed to withdraw from three cases after he was emergency suspended. Additionally, Labiner was charged with second-degree murder of his father and is being held without bond. (Case No. SC23-0945)

So in order of seriousness as per the Bar: 1) stealing 2) lying to the Bar about stealing and 3) killing your dad. 

FOR BULLS AND BEARS ONLY:

For those of you that follow the market, the VIX is dropping faster than a Hialeah misdemeanor DV case. For those of you that missed our call of Amazon two weeks or so ago at 120 (142 as of this writing)  and Qualcomm at 110 (120 ish as well right now) sorry. Watch the Vix- if it starts to rise, the market will fall a bit and you can hop in and snap up Amzn below 140, Appl below 180 (although it is in a long term trading range of 17-180ish) and Applied Materials also below 140. 

Remember what Rumpole's fav law school professor (Property, Trust and Wills and Estates- believe it or not) used to say: "Bears make money, Bulls make money, pigs get kicked in the head."  We follow that one but neglected his other saying "The wills you write in your youth will support you in your old age."  RIP LW. 

We were two busy trying drug cases in our youth to write a will. 

IT'S JUST A MISDEMEANOR

 Ain't nothing but a misdemeanor. Nothing serious, right? 

NFL SURVIVOR POOL WEEK 9

 A seemingly never ending string of trials has kept Rumpole scrambling just to post the world-famous survivor pool. We do not even have time to ponder football picks these days, which is a sad thing. 

This week, the Pool's favourite pick was the Browns over the Cardinals. Dan Lurvey took the only loss with a not a bad pick of Atlanta over Minnesota- who was starting a rookie QB.  But unfortunately for Lurvey the rookie went out with a concussion and newly acquired QB Josh Dobbs- the rocket scientist (for real) who has experienced a resurgence this season came off the bench and rallied the Vikes to a win and sent Lurvey to Loserville where everyone who plays the survivor pool ends up - except one. 

Heading into the second part of the season, DOM looks like a strong choice to take home the title, although don't count out veterans like Rick Freedman and Dan Tibbitt who are strong players and are well positioned to make a run. 

Personally, our Opus One fund took a massive hit today when our Fins let us down in Germany. We had them +1.5 parlayed with the under for a nice potential payday. The under hit, which we also had, but all that did was mitigate a mid-three figure loss on the Fins parlayed with the under. Oh well, there's always next week. 

And we have similar bets on the sizzling 8pm game tonight with the Bills over the Bengals and the under. We just aren't sold on the Cincy resurgence just yet- and one way we have made some nice money this year is riding the under which has been hitting with regularity. The smart money boys in Vegas are betting on a return to the mean with over starting to hit, but we are going to ride under until we have a losing week which we haven't had yet. But take what we are saying with a grain of salt, as we lost big time today on Miami and are fighting the urge to chase our losses and get even. Oh well, better to lose a bet than a trial we always say. 

Aaa2023 Regjb Survivor Pool Week 9 by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

STROOCK ING OUT TO MIAMI

 This week came the news that NYC mega law firm Stroock Stroocl & Lavan "stroock out" after 147 years in business as the partners voted to dissolve among the firm suffering massive defections, especially in its prized real estate business, to other law firms. It's a dog eat Stroock world in the rarified air of NYC big law. 

This week also came news that Miami has a new resident! Jeff Bezos, and his GF are moving from Seattle to Miami and we want to give the power couple an REGJB Blog Welcome. 

We also have a few tips for the new Miami residents. 

Publix vs. Milams is a big decision when deciding where to push your shopping cart. Each have their own upsides. Of course we also have Whole Foods, but that can be tough on a new couple on a budget- those smoothies and cold pressed juices add up quick. 

We definitely recommend switching from your morning Starbucks to a Cafecito or cafe con leche, and depending on where the new couple rent, we are sure there is a local cafe just around the corner. We are also partial to the well buttered side of cuban-toast- the soft piece that does not crumble when you bite into it. 

For fun, you cannot beat a day at the beach, and by November the public parking lots are emptying out and you can snag a spot- or just take an Uber to your favorite sand dune. 

And for a fun night out, dinner and clubbing on Miami Beach is a must for every new resident, but be careful of the upsells at the clubs, where a coveted spot in the VIP section usually requires the purchase of  multiple thousand -dollar bottles of vodka (that retail for 60 bucks at the corner liquor store).  For dinner there is Joes- remember to tip the maître'-d on the way out, and a local secret is Joe's Take Out right next door for breakfast- avoid the touristy stone crab omelet and just go for the eggs or french toast. 

For culture, we are sad to say there isn't much- Miamians flock to malls and strip malls to see and be seen; and for locals, pulling up to the valet in a Tesla S is all most Miamians want to do- as long as their friends and neighbors see them. However, if you search, you can find small oases of culture. Books and Books in Coral Gables is a good place to spend a lazy, sticky, hot, humid afternoon, and there is usually a book reading a few evenings a week- but unfortunately the titles might be "Miami Influencer- the untold stories" or "Gucci Channel and Me- adventures at Bal Harbor". 

Right across the street from Books and Books is one of the few independent movie theaters where you can catch movies that do not have bridges being blown up and people being shot every two minutes. The theater is one of the last refuges of the dwindling Miami Intellectual elite. 

And finally, we have all the sports you could ever want, and the good news is that unless it's the playoffs, you can snag a great seat for a good price. We like the Vivid Seats app. But should one of the teams make the playoffs, then the see&beseen crowd will snap up all the seats and pretend to be lifelong fans. 

Such is the life in one of the phony-ist cities in the world. 

So enjoy- and remember : sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen! 

* In case you were wondering, we have intentionally refrained from any offensive commentary about the appearance of an older man and younger Latina girlfriend being anything that is common or that Miamians approve of. Such nonsense is offensive, sexist, ageist, and has no place on a blog that does not peddle such trashy, juicy rumors. 

WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU

 This is very disturbing, especially that it is happening in France, of all places, whose record in standing up for their Jewish citizens is abysmal. Franch citizens (except for the brave underground) stood by while their neighbors, beginning with the fall of Paris in May 1940, were rounded up and placed in cattle cars and sent to concentration camps in Germany and Poland. The French mostly did nothing. 

And now in 2023, 83 years later, Stars of David are appearing on Jewish businesses and homes in Paris. 

It can happen here. Just look who is running for President and the rise of white nationalists. 

From the social media platform X:

Naftali Bennett בנט

@naftalibennett

In Paris, Jewish stores have been labeled with Stars of David. As if 80 years have not passed. The distance between the massacre in Beeri Kibbutz and the streets of Paris is shorter than you think. Yes, the west is next. Israel is fighting radical Islamic terror on its borders. If we don’t stop this terror here and now, you’ll get these massacres in Paris, London and New York City. We have only one option: total victory.

MID WEEK POTPOURRI

 To paraphrase Groucho Marx, we would never join a club that would have us. 

Sponsorship - Bench and Bar 2023 by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

 

If there was a Blogger Level for $19.95, we would contribute, Just sayin... 

 AND....If you're a Federalist/ DeSantis drone and do not know who this is- please stop reading out blog. 

GAG ME WITH AN ORDER: 

In other news, Judge Chutkan in DC re-imposed her gag order on the defendant/former president of the United States, pending appeal. In response, the defendant remarked on his own social media platform "Dumb Schumcks Who Do Not Believe in Science, Truth, Reason, or Law" commonly called DSWDNBISTROL,  that "No one has ever seen what this judge has done." 

Maybe no one has ever seen a gag order on a candidate, because no candidate is as crazy and dangerous with their public statements as this defendant/candidate/lunatic is. 

Do you notice that for the last several years the defendant often criticizes people using the phrase "no one has ever seen..." as in "no one has ever seen a secretary of State as bad as Rex Tillerson"...
 "No one has ever seen a secretary of defense as bad as Jim Mattis"... "No one has ever seen an Attorney General as bad as Bill Barr"...."No one has ever seen an Attorney General as bad as Jeff Sessions"... you get the point. 

Where is he getting the data for the "no one has ever seen? comment? Is he polling? Talking to caddies on the golf course?  

And why does everyone he hires turn out to be so bad? Every Secretary of Defense, his first Secretary of State, all of the Attorney Generals, not to mention FBI and CIA directors turned out to be so bad that he had to fire them and remarked that no one had seen someone as bad as them. 

Querry: Does/did the defendant ever hire anyone who was good? Or even decent? It doesn't appear that he ever did. Maybe he is a poor evaluator of talent, which makes sense considering how his businesses fail and do so bad that he has to grossly over value their worth which has him in hot water in NYC. 

TIDY UP 2

 Still needs to be said:

 "After every war someone has to tidy up."

The End and the Beginning by Wisława Szymborska | Poetry Foundation

And we do not think this is just about sweeping streets. It's the damage to the survivors, including the IDF soldiers who will be involved in actions that tragically will kill innocent civilians. These men and women do not want that and yet they will have to live with it for the rest of their lives. 

"War can't give life, it can only take it away."

War, by Edwin Starr

NFL WEEK 8 2023

 Rumpole had a day- don't ask. 

We are going to knock your socks off and pick the Bears for our survivor pool- getting the pick in right at the kick off of the 8pm game. 

We will get the rest of the survivor up shortly. 

Survivor- we picked the Bears because "Those who dare win"; We are sad to De La Over leave the survivor pool this week as KC dropped the ball literally against the Broncos. Tough loss for Hizzoner who is always a crafty survivor (and he doesn't get reversed much either). 

Aaa2023 Regjb Survivor Pool Week 8 by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

TIDY UP

 "After every war someone has to tidy up."

The End and the Beginning by Wisława Szymborska | Poetry Foundation

A SAD STORY

 We have a sad story about a troubled individual to share with you dear readers, who have not shunned us for speaking up for the innocent Palestinian citizens two weeks before the rest of the world did. 

This is about a man who is delusional- he believes the former president won the last election and he bought into the fake stories that your favoritie lawyers like Sydney Powell and Jenna Eastman (now both convicted of crimes) peddled. 

The man also doesn't believe that women should have reproductive rights- he frequently quotes scripture much like those sad people you see outside of the courthouse screaming at you to repent (which if you are a DeSantis Drone isn't a bad idea). He works to outlaw the rights of trans-people in general and trans-teens and trans-children in particular, believing such people are living against "God's will". In short, he is the type of person you would not want to share a cup of coffee with, or trust with any of your personal affairs. 

And today- October 26, 2023, he is the new speaker of the House of Representatives. 

We told you this was a sad story. 

And the date makes it doubly sad and ironic because on October 26, 1951, another very different man- a man of inestimable greatness- Winston Spencer Churchill- became Prime Minister of England for a second time. 

But that was Great Britian then, and this is the United States now. 

A sad story indeed. 

CLE IN THE REGJB

It's not "R OC K in the U S A" but still...

CLE ON WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 25, 2023. Starting at 4pm. Topic: SCOTUS (Supreme Court of the United States for you DS Drones) Year in Review. 

Courtroom 4-1 REGIB 

If you cannot make it, we will give you all you need to know: 

SCOTUS 2022 Opinions: Appeals by Defendant: Per Curiam Affirmed; Appeals by the Government: Per Curiam Reversed; with a double secret Affirmed for all death penalty appeals. 

SCOTUS MOTTO: Jus callin balls and strikes and upholding precedents (unless it involves abortion or the exclusionary rule). 

Special Guest Appearance by a recent MAGA/DeSantis Drone speaking on "Why I don't clear all my rulings with the Federalist Society" and "Don't count out appealing those not guilty verdicts" 

FACDL EMAIL:  

Hi everyone,

 

Tomorrow’s CLE, Supreme Court Year in Review 2022-2023, with Judge Milton Hirsch, will be in Courtroom 4-1. We’re starting at 4pm.

 

If you haven’t signed up already, you can register here: Sign up for SCOTUS Year in Review with Judge Hirsch 

EDLDERLY AND IN PRISON

 When the Covid19 pandemic broke and we all became experts on federal compassionate release motions, Rumpole for one was surprised to learn that there is no equivalent motion in Florida. In other words, Florida truly locks you up and throws away the key and wants its prisoners to rot in jail and makes sure no  pinko-commie-liberal-before DeSantis Drone Judges- can do something humane like allowing a person to die with dignity surrounded by their family.  (And yes we know you will all scream that the prisoner didn't let a person die with their loved ones, and we respond an eye-for-an-eye leaves everyone blind).  But no worry for DeSantis Drones, they won't even get the chance to show their Federalist Chops by denying compassionate release to some 80 year old man who went to prison as a 20 year old for robbing twenty bucks from a 7-11 back in the day when the stores really opened from 7 am to 11pm. 

Anyway, here's a good NY Times Article on the subject. 

Some snippets: 

Research shows that most people age out of criminal conduct. Moreover, the Department of Justice asserts that the risk of elderly people reoffending after release is minimal. Yet decades of tough-on-crime sentencing and increasingly rigid release policies have left many to grow old in a system that was not designed to accommodate them. The cost is high, for both the residents and the public at large.

Cleveland Lindley, 53, has served 28 years. He was sentenced to 105 years at age 25 for robbing a McDonald’s, his third strike under California's infamous three strike law. 

NFL WEEK 7 2023

 Emergency travel just leaves us enough time to pick Seahawks over Arizona for FF. We debated Lions over Ravens.  (Update- but thankfully we did not pick this game, although betting wise we like the under). 

And take the Fins tonight at Philly. No points just the money line. And if you have a sports betting app like we do, the Parlay with Moster scoring a TD and Tua over 275 passing yards and Miami to win is a sweet way to pay for that next bottle of Opus One. We will get the survivor pool up when we have more time later today. 

SURVIVOR

The Survivor pool today saw two losers when the Bills went down to the cheaters in an exciting last second comeback-upset. The pool also saw some players (finally) smartening up and using their bye. It never ceases to amaze us when people lose without using their bye during a tough week like this one. 

One caveat- Dustin Tischler may switch to a bye- he is running the numbers and checking the simulations and if he wants a change he has until kickoff around 8:05 pm to email us. 

Aaa2023 Regjb Survivor Pool Week Seven by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

SATURDAY ART AND NEW DEPO ROOM

 Breaking news, on a par with the Republicans unable to decide on the toppings for their pizza after their Sunday morning prayer group and caucus (and the tiny weeny barely significant problem of their inability to choose a speaker of the House and get Congress running) THERE IS A NEW DEPO ROOM AT THE REGJB [party time 💥👯]: 

Effective November 1, 2023 The Deposition Room will be relocating.

7th floor Conference Room 7115  (whoopie!). Next to courtroom 7-4.               

As you exit the elevator on the 7th floor make a left (Rumpole says, when in doubt go left) and pass the Double Doors, [and the cafe that makes the best grits and corned beef hash in Miami, truly...)  It will be on the right-hand side before courtroom 7-4. (But don't wander into the Judge's courtroom or experience the wrath of a disturbed judge: "Hi, ummmm, I was uh, just uh, like looking for the depo room, and umm...like where is is?"  The response will not be pretty nor fit for publication on a family blog...) 

If you would like to schedule the room, please call. The Court Administrators Office Circuit Criminal Division  (Motto: "Yes We Exist!") 305-548-5632. 

Next up some Saturday Art to soothe your confused soul over the changes to the Depo room and whether the Republican Caucus should choose ham and pineapple on their post prayer pizza, and who should be speaker. There is no comment to the rumor that Miladys Garcia, of late of the cleaning crew for the Hialeah branch court is considering the job. Apparently most of the Republican caucus has no opinion of Ms. Garcia, which makes her a frontrunner. You read it here first. 

Sojourner Truth and Frederick Douglas 

Langston Hughes & Upton Sinclair- quite a gem of an edition 

 

SANDI IS GETTING IN THE WAY OF OTHER RELATIONSHIPS

There's this annoying person in and around the court house...Sandi LNU (my forays with her are too brief to learn of anything beyond her first name).

If I try to find out how to communicate with Andrea, this "Sandi" constantly interrupts. Sandi is not just fixated upon one person since she also acts as a blockade to my desired immediate communications with others such as Teresa, Ellen, Tonya, Carmen...and some men as well. These are individuals that can be quite imperative in my day to day life. Sandi is hardly just focusing on me since every person that I ever try to delegate to, or do my dirty work, there's Sandi being her usual gadfly.  When  I need vital information like phone numbers, email addresses, zoom links and being familiarized with daily routines, there is Sandi acting as a frustrating interference to my desired  quick gratifications. It is especially bad with hand held devices since her presence is felt way too fast.

Can’t Sandi go away? Who invited her to the party? She’s everywhere and anywhere!  

Listen, if I wasn't involved with others, I do dig the wild hair and, of course, the pearl necklace.   

Has this character with the sardonic expression affected anybody else?  

POWELL PLEADS!

 Sydney Powell, indicted in Georgia, lawyer for former POTUS 45, plead guilty in Georgia to several misdemeanor counts including conspiracy to tell lies, conspiracy to tell stupid lies, conspiracy to tell stupid election lies while a lawyer, and aggravated sycophancy. 

Terms of her plea deal include (cue Jaws music) cooperation against co-defendants. (Cue Dragnet Music) Dum da dum dum. Dumb da dumb dumb dumb. 

The Story you about to read is true. The names were not changed because everyone knows who they are. 

This is the City, Washington DC. It was built and swamp and some say it is still is a swamp. You can come and visit the institutions built on the foundations of freedom. Congress. The Supreme Court. The Senate. There are memorials to great Americans like Lincoln, Washington, and Roosevelt. It is a city built on the principle of laws and elections and the peaceful transfer of power. Sometimes people don't want the peaceful transfer of power when they lose elections. Sometimes they tell lies about voting machine hacked by dead Venezuelan dictators. When that happens, I  go to work. I carry a badge. 

It was a Tuesday in January 2020. It was cold in DC, and the chill just wasn't in the air. Freedom was being chilled as well. I am working the day shift in Election Fraud. The Boss is Attorney General Bill Barr. My name is Friday. 

Reports were all over the Internet that Hugo Chavez, who had been dead for years, had organized the hacking of voting machines in Nevada, Pennsylvania and Georgia. A lawyer named Sydney Powell was claiming on Fox TV that she had incontrovertible evidence of the hacking while her partner held news conferences outside of lawncare companies in Philadelphia while hair dye ran down his face. The media was in full meltdown mode and it was time to stop the stop the steal movement. ....

For those of you DeSantis Drones born in the late 1980s/early 1990s with no idea of the cultural references we are making, here is one of the classic original Dragnet openings. It was a different era, when the federalist society didn't exist, and judges granted motions to suppress for constitutional violations, as shocking as that may seem these days. 

¡Cállate

“If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon’s, but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition, and ignorance on the other.” - U.S. Grant, 1875 

This is the guy who would know. 

Meanwhile on Monday Judge Chutkin in DC told the former president to watch his mouth. ¡Cállate nino rico. 

She issued an order that he cannot disparage prosecutors, witnesses, or court personnel. The former president promptly called all the names on the Vietnam Memorial Wall in DC morons for being stupid enough to die for their country. He also said that in general jurors who got picked for cases were stupid for working for free. He then disparaged the Red Cross, Mother Teresa, Moses, and ER doctors and pre-school teachers before promising that the Yankees would have been in the post season if Biden hadn't stolen the election from him, and that the Giants would have beaten Buffalo on Sunday night if he was calling the plays. 

So just the same old same old. 

How would you like to be Judge Chutkin parsing the language of the defendant in the run up to the trial? Does calling the DOJ a bunch of chuckleheads violate the judge's order? Does mentioning all the cases DOJ prosecutors hid discovery in the past violate the judge's order? 

Does criticizing the Federal sophisticated means enhancement because it was enacted in a time when computers were rarities and supporting the judge who wrote that applying the enhancement these days is akin to fining someone for speeding and then increasing the fine for using a car to speed, violate the judge's order? OK, we reached on that one, but you get the point. 

And what if he calls the lead prosecutor (whom we have named our winning fantasy football team after) "not worth a warm bucket of spit" which is what Vice President John Nance Garner once called he vice presidency when asked. What should Judge Chutkin do if the defendant blatantly crosses the line? Revoke his bond? Would any Desantis drone have the cojones to do that?  (Lots of Spanish in today's post because, spending fall in New England, we miss it just un poco. 

These are the things we ponder between collecting our money when the Raiders sacked Cheater QB Matt Jones in the endzone for a safety on Sunday as time ran out, giving the Raiders- who were winning by 2- two more points, allowing them to cover the three-point spread and Rumpole to collect on a sizeable bet. Sometimes you get good wins and not just bad beats in gambling and life. 

MONDAY'S HOT TAKE

UPDATE 2:  As of Monday afternoon all is well. The building (but not necessarily the DeSantis drones therein) are all cooling off and your bond hearing schedule for Tuesday is returning to normal- or what constitutes for normal in a courthouse where one Judge today achieved notoriety for spending a majority of his time not adjudicating cases, but doing what DeSantis drones do, and focusing on nonsense - in this case upbraiding lawyers for not wearing ties on zoom. 

Here’s the thing- Judges who are confident in themselves and the job they do care not one whit how someone is dressed. They get respect by earning it through their rulings and demeanor. DeSantis Drones who have no self confidence get respect not through their rulings but by their picayune application of nonsense just so they can bloviate and hear themselves speak and order lawyers and clients around. We are sure you agree with us Judge____ , right? 

UPDATE: (and this may be a record for the quickest update to a post)

As per Judge Wolfson- an excerpt from an email "We have every reason to believe that operations at the REG will be normal today..." 

Rumpole responds: By normal we assume you mean chickens running through the hallways, protestors outside, jurors mistakenly chatting up defendants in the elevators, broken escalators, judges starting 9 am calendars at 10:15, internecine squabbles amongst the Criminal County Court Bench over petty perceived jealousies, and other such quotidian activities that comprise life in our building. 

We also assume that as to the AC a crack team of repair experts descended on the building over the weekend, replaced a few air filters, plugged in a plug that had been pulled out, and otherwise did all the things similar to the crack team that keeps the escalators running so well. 

It may again be cool to be in court today. We shall see. 

BUT THERE STILL WILL NOT BE JURORS IN THE BUILDING TODAY- which means no NGs for yours truly. 😡pp

Here's the memo floating around about where to go and how to handle your HOT Monday

Remember, no AC is no excuse for not wearing a Jacket and Tie in court for gentlemen lawyers. Tradition is tradition no matter how ridiculous it is and how much you sweat. 

RE: ALTERNATE LOCATION FOR RICHARD E. GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BOND HEARINGS FOR MONDAY, OCTOBER 16

Due to repairs underway in response to an emergency maintenance issue at the Richard E. Gerstein Justice Building, first appearance hearings and jail arraignments will continue to be held at the Miami-Dade Children’s Courthouse on Monday, October 16.

Please see below for additional details:


Miami-Dade Children’s Courthouse, 155 NW 3rd Street

Felony first appearance hearings Monday Oct. 16th: Courtroom 12-1 – https://zoom.us/j/93208306120 (https://zoom.us/j/93208306120)

Jail Arraignments and Misdemeanor first appearance hearings Monday Oct. 16th: Courtroom 12-4 – https://zoom.us/j/93571408057 (https://zoom.us/j/93571408057)

NFL WEEK SIX

 If you have not canceled Rumpole yet for being an unrepentant antisemite for daring to speak up for the innocent children and people of Gaza being used as human shields while being bombed, then here is your REGJB Survivor Pool. 

Picks seem inappropriate due to the sadness in this world and an impending ground war in Gaza. 

No update on REGJB AC, but remember court is OPEN but there will be no jury trials on Monday. The CJ will update us on Monday for Tuesday and trials. 

Aaa2023 Regjb Survivor Pool Week Six by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

 

 #Givepeaceachance

A HOT TIME IN THE REGJB

 Ok, all together now…and a one and a two and a three and ”We’re having a heat wave…a tropical heat wave ♭”

Heard around the building:

“How was court?”

“Rough. The Judge was hot.”

And 

“You see that lawyer? S’he’s hot…”

And

“There was a hot time in the old courthouse today.”

We are speaking of course of the REGJB air conditioner failure Friday  which caused a cascading effect of issues including the literal meltdown of the REGJB computer network because the hamsters that spin the wheels that power the sophisticated REGJB computers overheated and the all the equipment including the hi-tech Compuserve dial up modems literally had a meltdown.

Judges over heated with each other trying to get calendars covered. County Court is in total meltdown with personalities overheating. More on that at another time. 

What we know: There is no AC. 

What this means: NO jurors on Monday but court will be open and gentlemen lawyers are expected to wear jacket and ties because this is Miami and common sense is arroz con mango.  However, courtrooms 3-1 and 5-2 will be turned into coed saunas…bring towels and flip flops. $30/hour.

Yes dear readers, the Old Gray Lady is having some hot flashes. Try and sympathize- she’s getting older.