BLOG SHUTDOWN?

 As we are not (surprisingly) an essential element of the government, we may get shut down if the government gets shut down. And let's face it- who wants to work if the EPA isn't working?

In other news, the director of the FBI fired all the remaining agents who haven't previously been fired. "I told you I was going to shake this place up, and I have" crowed Patel. The FBI will currently employ a woman named Mavel who will handle fraud complaints for all states west of the Mississippi, and two guys named Dareen and Ngyuen for everything else. "That should about cover it" said Patel. "And if needed, Mavel can help the FDA in disapproving new drug applications. She got a B in her high school health science course and RFK Jr is very impressed." 

The Dolphins won MNF, we won our healthy bet, and we are heading into days of reflection and contrition. 

For those of you not working starting sundown Wednesday, you're in good company- most of the federal government will be joining you. Of course some people will be fasting because they aren't getting paychecks or money from government programs that are shuttered, but a fast is a fast, right? 

REPENT!

UPDATE: THE GOVERNOR, EVER SENSITIVE TO RELIGION, IS CALLING JUDICIAL APPLICANTS ACROSS THE STATE. Some will be "sealed in the book of the judiciary" for the coming year. Some will not. (* see below) 

UPDATE 2: FAJARDO GETS A SPOT. Your new circuit court judge is your old circuit court judge, with a US Attorney spot in the middle. REGJB TRIVIA- Name the last CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE to leave the bench as a CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE and then get reappointed as a CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE. We phrased the question to weed out the "Sepe" answers. Go deeper. 

Today is the Jewish Day of Atonement. Miami-Dade Courts are closed. In northern Florida they are shaking their heads..."ya'll do what causa Yom what? And y'all can't eat or drink nothing?"

Poland has come up with a unique way to honor Yom Kippur. The Poland Parliament passed a law preventing holocaust survivors and their families from suing to recover property stolen during the Holocaust. Poland, like France, has a sordid history of not standing up for their Jewish neighbors when the Nazis invaded Poland. The law takes effect....wait for it....on Yom Kippur, the holiest day for Jews. 

Meanwhile, in the latest example of our doomed society, someone named Nicki Minaji has gotten into a very public dispute with the White House over not getting vaccinated. Apparently this Minaji is someone that has a large following on social media and can influence people because of her multiple degrees in bio-chemistry and immunology.   because apparently she sings in rhyme. Somehow Trinidad and Tobago, who has some serious issues to contend with, got dragged in the dispute when Dr. Minaji, relying on the firmest of scientific data, tweeted or something that "her cousin's friend in Trinidad and Tobago  got the vaccine and his [testicles] became seriously enlarged." That in turn caused the health minister for T&T to issue this release: 

The health minister for Trinidad and Tobago said on Wednesday that government officials have “wasted” time “running down [a] false claim” made by Nicki Minaj of swollen testicles possibly being linked to the COVID-19 vaccine.

On Monday afternoon, the rapper lit up the internet when she asserted in a tweet that her “cousin in Trinidad won’t get the vaccine cuz his friend got it & became impotent. His testicles became swollen.” Minaj spent that night justifying her own vaccine skepticism, claiming she still needed to do more research despite the vaccines being developed about a year ago.

Yeah, you pretty much want to follow the advice of some entertainer when making important health decisions. Life tip: Always find out what her friend's cousin is doing. 

So lets recap, Poland disses the Jews on their most holy day; some idiot singer has determined that the covid vaccine will swell men's testicles, which in turn caused the Health Minister of Trinidad and Tobago to conduct a full investigation. Now we are just freewheeling here, but if Dr. Faucci spread the rumor that the Covid vaccine enlarged another portion of the male anatomy, how long would the line be for vaccines?

Now, with that snappish and not politically correct remark, we have something to atone for.  

*Supplicants seeking atonement pray today to be "sealed in the book of life" for another year. 

REPENT

 We try and steer clear of religion and politics, but we note that starting Sunday night the Jewish High Holiday of Yom Kippur began. It is a time of introspection and reflection in which those who follow the faith neither eat, nor drink, nor wash. Courts will be, to use a Yiddish word, Cerrado/cerrada. 

We feel close to our readers. There is no need for the formal Usted when cuando hablamos Espanol.  We think we can use the familiar Tu. No reason not to. There is a give and take among the readers and we post almost all the comments we receive and while families may disagree and fight from time to time, no need to be formal. Tu it is. 

It occurs to us that if ever there was a time to use the formal usted it would have been by Julius Caesar. If ever there was a time when tu was NOT appropriate, one would believe it was when Brutus took part in the plot to murder Caesar. "Et usted Brutus!" just sounds more appropriate  for the occasion then "et Tu Brutus." 

As the Captain reported, Florida moved to phase Three. Hurray! The virus is gone. No need to wear mask. Go jam into restaurants and crowded areas and don't wear no stupid commie mask and if, by chance you get sick, tell the doc it cannot be Covid 19 because Florida's know-all Governor declared Phase Three. 

Stay safe. And repent. 

YOM KIPPUR

Courts are closed today in observance of Yom Kippur, the day of atonement for Jews. 
As our life gets more complicated, more busy, more digital, we often struggle to find time for spin classes, yoga, and religion (not in that order).  You could fill a three-page pamphlet with the title of "Great Jewish Athletes of the 20th Century". (Don't start an email avalanche, we know there were plenty, it's a humorous line ). 

Tops among hall of fame pitches in the last century was Sandy Koufax. Kofax was as a great a pitcher you will ever see. Koufax, Bob Gibson, Tom Seaver, Doc Gooden, Jim Palmer, Steve Carlton. Take your pick. But Sandy Koufax was Jewish, and in 1965 his Dodgers were in the world series, often referred to as The October Classic, because it occurs in October. Sometimes Yom Kippur falls in October, like in this year. 
We let Judge Hirsch and his Constitutional Calendar take it from here......

The First Amendment purports to guarantee freedom of religion from encroachment by the federal government.  The Fourteenth Amendment incorporates that guarantee as against the states.  See, e.g., West Virginia Board of Education v. Barnette, 319 U.S. 624 (1943); Hamilton v. Regents of the University of California, 293 U.S. 245 (1934); Meyer v. State of Nebraska, 262 U.S. 390 (1923).  

But for freedom of religion to exist in fact, and not merely in contemplation of law, what is required is acceptance and even support in the general community for those whose religious practices differ from those of the general community.  Such acceptance and support cannot be imposed by legislative fiat.  Either they exist as an expression of the American spirit, or they do not exist at all.

On October 6, 1965, Sandy Koufax, the ace of the Los Angeles Dodgers’ pitching staff and almost certainly the greatest pitcher in all of baseball at that time, declined to pitch in the first game of the World Series against the Minnesota Twins.  Koufax was Jewish, and the game fell on Yom Kippur, one of the most solemn religious observances in the Jewish calendar.

Dodger owner Walter O’Malley, even with all he had riding on the World Series, backed Koufax’s decision.  “I won’t let Sandy pitch on Yom Kippur under any circumstances,” O’Malley told the press. “I can’t let the boy do that to himself.”  (O’Malley joked to the press that he’d “ask the Pope what he can do about rain on that day.”)

"Nobody said a word. Nobody thought a bad thing about [Koufax],'' said Wes Parker, the Dodgers’ African-American first baseman. "We respected him because he was doing it because of his religion. He was being true to himself.''

"Most people admired Koufax for putting his religion before his job,'' Hall-of-Fame Dodgers broadcaster Vin Scully said. "It was his decision, and everyone respected it. They understood.''

In Koufax’s absence, the Dodgers gave the ball to Don Drysdale.  But Drysdale didn’t have his stuff that day.  He coughed up seven runs in less than three innings.  When Dodgers manager Walter Alston went out the mound to take out his starting pitcher, Drysdale quipped, “I bet right now you wish I was Jewish too.”

CLOSED

Closed for atonement* and spiritual cleansing. 

We will re-open tomorrow for regular business. 

Thank You. 

Horace Rumpole. Esq. Proprietor. 

In the meantime, vote for us as the best blog, which we are, here

*We haven't done anything requiring forgiveness, but in the spirit of the day and all that....

RUTH CHRIS SHOULD FAST AND ATONE

Ruth Chris's steakhouse, a moderately decent steakhouse chain tried to be a little creative with it's Ann Arbor, Michigan restaurant. It offered a promotion to reduce the bill for a meal for the week following the Michigan-Rutgers game this past Saturday based on the score differential. So for example, if Michigan won by 10 points, diners would get a ten percent reduction in their bill. 

Michigan shutout  Rutgers  78-0 Saturday!

The restaurant, which quickly sold out for this week, is falling back on the small print which apparently limited their reduction to 50%.  Bad press has ensued. They would have been much better to honor their word, and make a donation to a local homeless shelter to boot. The free publicity would far outweigh their losses for a week.  It's overpriced anyway. 

Over/under on the first lawsuit being filed? 

Weird week. Court's closed Monday. Many lawyers and judges out Wednesday for Yom Kippur- the holy day of atonement for our readers of the Jewish faith. 

See you in court.