CRITICAL COURTS

As we end October, what people are talking most about is....climate change? The new spending package? Delta Plus? Nah. It is the proposal by PETA (for whom we have donated time, efforts, and money) that Baseball change the animal-offensive name of "The Bull-pen" to ....(wait for it)....

The ARM BARN! Ta da!

In other news, any guesses as to which of all the court districts in Florida, was first to jump on the no-mask mandate? (Hint, we do not like this circuit). YUP, its Broweird, whose new chief judge eagerly embraced the new rule that people in courts do not have to wear masks. Yes, in Broward, it's June 2021 all over again. 

In Texas, they all up in arms (which means in Texas they are nervously fingering their sidearms) over the issue of Critical Race Theory. Truly, without Googling it, we have no idea what CRT is. And before we go further, speaking of Texas, if you add the sum of the day of the month with the day before, and square it, if the result is a prime number, you can get an abortion in Texas, if it is not a prime number, you cannot. You know what they say about abortion in Texas, it is like the weather in Florida,  if you do not like it, wait an hour, the law will change. 

Getting back to Critical Race Theory, which in 2021, is becoming the new Sharia Law hot button issue, we are imaging the future. Come with us to 2033....

 Facebook National News. Dateline Washington, DC:

A week after her inaugural address, President Tiffany Trump, making good on her campaign promise, announced a deal on funding for the nation's Critical Race Theory Courts, where defendants, who can show they were exposed to CRT in their youth, can be offered a diversion program based on their underprivileged upbringings. The first CRT court will open in Dallas, Texas, at the site of the old Texas School Book Depository, which was destroyed under the orders of President Trump, when it was revealed Ted Cruz's father, using a gun provided by Barrack Obama's father from Africa, shot and killed President Kennedy from the Grassy Noll. 

In other news, Chief Justice Amy  Barrett, writing for a unanimous court, upheld the law 2030 law passed by the Republican dominated Congress banning Twitter. "If you ban President Donald Trump, you get banned, First Amendment or not. And we note, if the First Amendment had the same status of the rest of the Constitution, it would have been in the Constitution, and not some last minute afterthought Amendment."

Some scary thoughts, in line for a scary weekend. 

Happy Halloween. And other than in court in Broward, wear your mask over your nose. 

OVALLE v. PUBLIX

If you have not been following the contretemps of Ace Herald scribe David Ovalle and the express lane at Publix on his twitter account @davidovalle305 then you have been missing a treat. The issue has, at last, through the volunteer efforts of two retired Judges from the Third DCA, and yours truly, been resolved. While we will not ruin the ending, it is our strong advice that if you bump into Ovalle at Publix, you walk the other way. He's a rabble-rouser.

Ovalle v Publix by Rumpole21 on Scribd

RUMPOLE ON TWITTER/PROBLEMS AT THE HAGUE

Before we get to Twitter, a quick report from the Colonel of County Court:

Attention All County Court Soldiers! The Colonel is in the House.

At ease soldiers, take a knee.

The major shake up in County Court has been the replacement of Judge Bloom with Judge Hague. Things are not going smoothly in Judge Hague's Courtroom, mostly because of Judge Hague's intransigence, which the comment below perfectly states:

Anonymous said...

Dear Judge Slom et al. Why did I have a case infront of Judge Hague at 9:30 am but did not leave his court room until almost 11:30 am? Please tell me why he must go through the calendar in alphabetical order, refuse to take attorney's out of turn and then wait to be done with every other calendar before going back to a certain time! I lost valuable time, I wept on the inside as precious seconds, minutes, then hours passed away from my not so young life and then were gone forever! Which in turn made me late for every single Judge I had to see that morning. Really annoying. Give the bar some respect.

Thursday, February 24, 2011 12:50:00 PM

The Colonel adds- The problem is even worse! Lets say you have Ansel Adams on the 9:30 Calendar and Zela Zelon on the same calendar. When the Adams case is called Judge Hague will normally NOT accommodate you and let you call your other client(s) on the same calendar. You have to sit down and wait. This is not even the "Slom Rule" (no switching between calendars- the clicking predisposes the judge to carpal tunnel syndrome.) This is a complete refusal to recognize that most attorneys in county court have several clients on several calendars before all the judges and IT IS IMPOSSIBLE to sit in Judge Hague's courtroom and wait until he calls each case in turn and make a living by handling the other obligations in other courtrooms. Something has to give because this type of inconsiderate conduct by the Judge turns heads.

Ok Soldiers, the Colonel is out, fall out. As you were.

RUMPOLE ON TWITTER:

@JusticeBuilding.....

A few thousands Egyptians brought down a regime with Twitter so lets see what one slightly dyspeptic and disgruntled blogger can do with the local Court administrators.

Our Twitters promise to be exciting and chock full of exclusive content that you will get nowhere else, including: our Twitter Diet Tip of the Day ( (c) Rumpole 2011); our Twitter Stock Picks ( (c) Rumpole 2011) among others.

Someone told us there is some way we can Twitter our posts so that, upon signing up you will be immediately alerted when our posts go up (usually between 5-6 am). There will also soon be some button you can click on to automatically follow us.

Twitter: It does a blogger good.

Coming soon- Rumpole deposes Castro with a keyboard, a Twitter account, a piece of string and two cups and a half a roll of scotch tape (and some scotch). Just watch. Also Judge Brown suffers a nervous breakdown, but that's for another day.