NFL WEEK 16

BREAKING GATOR NEWS: For those of you that care, and we don't, UF Football Coach Urban Meyer has CHANGED HIS MIND AND WILL NOT RETIRE. He will announce this afternoon at a 4:30 press conference that he will instead take an indefinite leave of absence and the D-Coordinator will take over as interim head coach for the foreseeable future (IHCFTFF).

Second to last week of the regular season. Congratulations again to Rick Freeman for his record breaking Suicide pool win.

Denver goes to Philly with the Bronocs playing a win or out of the playoffs game. The Broncos will lose, but we like the over 41 for 700 Geno's Cheesteaks ("wit" of course)

The Texans come to cool Miami with both teams having a playoff appearance on the line. Basically, the Fins need to win out and the House and Senate need to vote for cloture on the final health care bill for the Fins to make the Playoffs. The Fins have been our savior this year and they are 1.5 favourites at home over the inconsistent Texans. One caveat- the Texans have a better road record than a home record. But with that being said we have only a few things to add: RUN RICKY RUN, and THROW CHAD THROW!

Dolphins -1.5 over Texans for a 1000 Ginns.

If the Dolphins win, if the Broncos lose, and if the Steelers beat the visiting Ravens (which is a huge IF) the Dolphins and the Steelers just may meet next week for the final AFC Wild Card spot (if Congress votes for Cloture.)

Pick Em Paulie said...

We're here mourning the resignation of Urban Meyer. But we must press on with our ho-hum football picks. Every time we ask the gambling gods for a 4-1 week, we get 3-2. So now I'm asking for an 0-5 week. Each pick for $500.00
Buffalo +9
Carolina +9
New England -9
Pittsburgh -3
Philadelphia -7
35-37-3 48.61% -$2850

Another reason why we're a happy and satisfied NETJETS customer: avoiding the riff raff and hoi polloi: You won't believe the cretins they let fly in First Class these days. Ivana Trump booted off first class yesterday. Herald Story here.

Trump showed her class by cursing at children as she was escorted off the plane. Good riddance we say.

NFL WEEK 14

Lets start with the suicide pool, which is setting some kind of record for longevity.

Rick Freedman: Titans; Peter Sautter: Saints; Daniel Tibbitt- Bears.

Good luck guys and send me the winner of MNF and the total points scored broken down by total TDs and total field goals. This could be it.

One big bet last week and one winner. Thank you Giants and thank you Vanilla Phillips for that December Cowpoke swoon. Right on time.

The Dolphins are getting 3 in Jacksonville, and while we like the Fins +3 for 200 Hennes, we really like the under 44 for 500 Parcells.

Eagles at Giants. The line is 44. We loved the under in the first matchup this season, and as usual for this year, we were wrong. The history is these two teams is that there are several tight low scoring games and then one big blow out, which happened earlier this year. The Eagles are clicking , the Giants had a big win last week but their offense is still struggling. Look for a low scoring ground game in cold winter weather. Once burned....but we bravely take the under again. Giants/Eagles under 44 for 500 Osi Umenyioras.

NFL WEEK 13

Onward we press, battered, beaten, unbowed.

In War, resolution. In defeat, defiance. In Victory, magnanimity.

Winston Churchill.

We absolutely love the Giants at home this week against the Cowpokes, and here's why: What we've gotten away from and forgotten is the lesson we have employed to such financial success in seasons past- that teams are rarely as good as they seem or as bad as they appear. Teams tend toward mediocrity. Thus, rather than jumping on bandwagons when teams win one or jumping off a bandwagon when they lose, we should do the opposite. The Cowpokes won last week and the Giants were woeful on Thanksgiving Day at Denver (who looked so good beating the Giants, but we had hopped off their bandwagon when they were spanked by the Steelers a few weeks ago. See how this works? ) Thus the stage is set for the Giants to rebound and the Cowpokes to start their annual December swoon.

The Giants are getting two points at home and that's more than enough. Indeed, eschew the points and take the money line- which is Giants +110, meaning you get 110 for every 100 bet. Giants 1000 Mannings to win 1100.

SUICIDE POOL.

Rick Freedman- Da Bears, Peter Sauter- the Chargers; Dan Tibbitt- Bears.

Battery with a Burger! The story is here. Something tells me the police are the least of this guy's problems. He may just be safer in jail until the french fries cool off.

NFL WEEK TWELVE

The losing continues for us. But still we trudge on.

And to snap the streak, we look to the Houston Texans, who got us into so much trouble earlier in the season. The Colts, unbeaten, come to Houston, who has never beaten Indy. Todays the day. The Texans have righted the ship, and Indy, while very good, is hurting at several positions. The Texans are getting 3.5 at home. Houston +3.5 +300 Peytons.

The Dolphins have been a savior for us this year, and we have regretted when we have gone away from them. They are on the road at Buffalo today giving three points. We like them to take a victory home from upstate NY. Fins -3 +4oo wings.

If you can get Steelers at Ravens under 42 grab it. Roethlisberger may be out, and these teams play perhaps the hardest hitting football in the modern era. Take a look at last year's AFC Championship game. Brutal. Under 42 for 500 Tomlins.

SUICIDE POOL- we could have a winner!

Freedman and Peter Sautter pick the Bengals while Iftikhar Memon picks the Fins. If the Bengals loose.....

Update: At 12:39 PD Daniel Tibbitt picked the Falcons. And they won on the last play.

And Ifyikhar Memon goes down today as the Fins implode in the 4th quarter.

NFL WEEK ELEVEN

There isn't a game we like, which isn't surprising since we can't pick for bubkas this year.

That being said....

The Chargers at Denver. Chargers -4 for 200 Rivers.

Eagles -2 at Bears. Eagles for 300 Lovie Smiths.

49ers at Packers. Packers -6.5 for 200 Brats.

Pick Em Paulie said...

Pick Em Paulie is having a blah year for the first time in a long time and the vig is killing us. But on we press. Each for $500.

WASH/DALL over 41.5
Buffalo +9
Pittsburgh -10
New England -10.5
Chicago +3

2009 record
23-25-2 47.92%
-$2250

SUICIDE POOL

Week eleven. Gotta be a record.

Rick Freedman-Cowboys; Ifitkhar Memon- Cowpokes;

Daniel Tibbitt- Cowpokes; Peter Sautter- Minnesota.

(as of right now I think we need a tiebreaker. Email me your MNF winner, total score, total TDs, total Field Goals, and attendance -just kidding about the attendance,)

BTW- this post is kind of short because the initial tests reveal that I probably have Groats disease. The doctors are working on a course of treatment and I'm just not in the mood to write much.

NFL WEEK TEN

We start off Sunday with some sad news:

Judge Leonard Rivkind has passed away. As a former Chief Judge of the 11th Judicial Circuit of Florida he instituted the domestic violence court. If you didn't appear before Judge Rivkind, you missed a good solid judge who was committed to the law and the people of Dade County. The attorney who alerted us to the passing of the Judge had this to say:

I never found a judge who treated all people who he met more decently.

A very bright and caring jurist.

The Herald Obituary is here.

At a time when a few misbegotten lawyers are giving the profession a bad name, Judge Rivkind's life serves to remind us that many lawyers find fulfillment in working honestly and to the best of their abilities. And when a lawyer of talent and dedication Like Leonard Rivkind is elevated to the position of Judge, we all benefit.

Lots of big games today and we start with the biggest.

Sunday night: Cheaters and their evil genius coach and pretty-boy QB play at the Colts. Take Indy at home -2.5. Indy is hurting, especially on defense. However The Cheaters have defense problems as well. Manning at QB has essentially refused to let his team be out-scored this year. Among many great years, this may be his most impressive effort yet. The last team with the ball scores and wins. The over under depends: if you can get 48 take over, if it's 50 leave it be. Indy +200 -2.5.

Buffalo at Tennessee. The number is 41. Tennessee is on a two game win streak having made a mid-season QB change to Vince Young. Buffalo has a Harvahrd boy at QB. While David O Markus may like that, we aren't particularly impressed. Nuff said. We like the under here for 100 Massachusetts Halls. *

Detroit at Minnesota. The Vikes are favored by 16.5. The Lions barely have a heartbeat. Many years ago Tampa Bay Head Coach John McKay who laboured through two non-winning seasons in the Bucs first two years as an expansion team was asked, after a particularly difficult loss, how he felt about his team's execution. He answered that he was in favor of it. The same goes for the Lions these days.

Vikes -16.5 +300 McKays.

SUICIDE POOL

On and on we go.....

Rick Freedman-Vikings; Ifitkhar Memon-Saints; Daniel Tibitt-Dolphins; Peter Sautter-The Fins, which even he says is surprising since he could pick the Vikes over the Lions.

You don't meet many women named Millicent these days.

* As David would tell you, it's the oldest building at Harvarhd.

NFL WEEK NINE

Friends, Dol-fans, countrymen, lend me your ears. Today in New England will not be pretty. The leaves have turned. It is a crisp fall day. And the despised Cheaters will pound our Dolphins. Take our advice. Go for a walk. See a movie. Don't watch the game. Oh...the humanity.

The game that we really like is the Ravens at the Bengals. The surprising Bengals are in first place in the AFC North. They have already beaten the Ravens in Baltimore and the World Champ Steelers in Cincinnati, and yet the Bengals are 3 point home dogs. Cincinnati at home getting points is a lock, right? Nope. The Ravens are the better team here by far. The total here is also a bit out of wack at 46. Ravens -3 +200, under 45 +300.

The Eagles are -3 at home over the resurgent Cowboys who are led by the second worst coach in the NFL- Vanilla Phillips. Take the Eagles -3 for 400 Cheese steaks

("with" (pronounced "wit" in south Philly) of course, and if you have to ask "with what?" you're a hopeless cheese steak novice and should not be reading this blog). And of course we mean Pats Cheese Steaks, not Genos which as any Philly fan knows are both right across the street from each other.

We've got a pretty good feel for the Monday night game of Steelers at Broncos, but lets see what happens here.

SUICIDE POOL:

Our famous writer of bitingly funny emails, super PD Daniel Tibbitt picks the Seahawks; Ifitkhar Memon-Falcons (NOTE -we erred and wrote in the wrong pick earlier); Rick Fredman- Falcons; Peter Sautter-Seahawks.

PLAYERS- PLEASE EMAIL ME YOUR PICK FOR STEELERS BRONCOS- PLUS TOTAL POINTS SCORED- TOTAL TDS SCORED- TOTAL FIELD GOALS SCORED. WE ARE APPROACHING A POSSIBLE TIEBREAKER SCENARIO. TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO IF ALL 4 OF YOU LOSE TODAY? RESET IT FOR NEXT WEEK, OR GO TO A TIEBREAKER. I WILL LET A MAJORITY VOTE OF YOU 4 DECIDE.

HR.

NfL WEEK EIGHT

For the rest of the NFL it's week 8. In Miami and here in NYC it's Dolphins/JETS...and that's a big deal.

The visiting Dolphins are getting 4 points from gang green. The Dolphins have been our saviour this year, and we're going to ride them for all they are worth. 400 Henne's Dolphins+4. Let's get this out of the way so there is no confusion: we don't like Ny's hotog eating, Brady-like pretty boy QB and his band of green wearing misfits and we look forward to a long and hateful relationship. We feverently hope Joey Porter hits him so hard he wakes up thinking his back in California, where he belongs.

The Broncos are not for real. I don't care what their record is. No team quarterbacked by Kyle Orton is any good. Ravens at home -3 +400 Flacco's.

Giants at Eagles. This is the game of the day, considering the Philly fans have the opportunity to go to an NFL game at one, and a world series game at 8. Fun fact- the last two meetings between these teams had a combined score in each game of 34 (23-11 Eagles and 20-14 Eagles). In 4 out of the last 5 games the combined score has been 34 twice, 29, and 19, with one 67 last year just for fun.

The total here is 45, and we like the under for 300 CC Sabathias. Update: There's a 70% chance of rain in Philly, Giants WR Maningham is questionable. We raise our wager to 600 Sabathias.

Pick Em Paulie said...

Okay, another good week last week as we go 3-1-1 to finally get over the .500 mark and back in the black. 7-2-1 last two weeks. Lets keep the streak going. Good luck to Rump, as well.

Each bet for $500.00.

DEN +3.5
CLE/CHI over 40
Indy -11.5
Miami +3.5
NO -10

2009 record
18-16-1 52.94%
+$200.00

SUICIDE POOL

Iftikhar Memon: Colts; Rick Freedman: Chargers; Peter Sautter: Colts; Daniel Tibbitt: Chargers.

Long day ahead in NYC. See ya at the finish line.

NFL WEEK SEVEN

Due to circumstances beyond our control, we have not been able to properly analyze this week's games. However, we are prepared. We asked several hard working and well respected jurists to sit in for us this week and make guest picks. We're sure you'll find this to your liking.

Judge Cueto: " I took a week off to assess and digest the impact of the lines in today's games. While there is nothing ad hominem in this monograph, I herewith suggest the following:

Atlanta at Dallas: Several years ago our learned and wise colleague Bob Scola was asked to take a look at this same matchup. While Dallas has been in the league much longer than the Falcons and deserves the respect due seniority, I choose the Falcons, +4 for 500. "

Judge Pinero: "Chicago at Cincinnati seems like a nice matchup. Are the Bengals for real? We'll find out. Bears +2 +300 apple pies."

Judge Adrien: " I'm just happy you asked me. Are the Knicks playing? "

Judges Faber & Diaz. "Hello hello hello! It's your favourite pair of NFL watching, comedy club attending, room redecorating, email sending Judges!!!!!"

Faber: "The Dolphins are wearing orange today. That really clashes".

Diaz: "Oh, like I really care what a County Court Judge says about a team's uniform? Not!"

Judge Butchko: "Remember- we're all friends here. Try and pick the games and get along."

Judge Miller: "F'em. Just give em the max. We can do that, right?

Can I fax my picks? May I just say that in retrospect my decision to favor the use fax machines over emails seems very wise, does it not?"

Judge Adrien: "Ummm....The Cubs? "

Faber: "Have you seen those Denver throw back uniforms? Who is their fashion designer? "

Diaz: "What is it with you wanting to know everyone's fashion designer? Just pick a game and shut up."

Judge Jimenez: "I wrote a letter to the State attorney about picking games."

Judges Faber and Diaz: " Julio- you got screwed worse than Nesmith did at the Herald."

Faber: " I think the Giants in their cute blue uniforms at home over Arizona -7 are worth 200 Coconuts comedy club tickets"

Diaz: " And I think the Saints will shred the Dolphins secondary worse than I shredded you in the DBR. New Orleans -7 +200"

SUICIDE POOL

Daniel Tibbitt: New England; Rick Freedman: Colts; Iftikhar Memon: J...E....T....S; Peter Sauter: New England.

NFL 2009 WEEK 6

UPDATE. Titanic edition.

Well today has been an unmitigated disaster. Now I know how Jeff Fisher coach of the Titans feels (the last I checked the Titans were losing to the Cheaters 59-0 in a blizzard.)

The only thing to do is press forward and put 1500 Matt Ryans on the Atlanta Falcons -3.5 for the 8pm game. )

SUICIDE POOL DOWN TO FOUR

On any given Sunday any team in the NFL can beat any other team (excluding apparently the Redskins) and so Miguel De La Over and Michael Feiler exit our suicide pool with ill timed selections of the Eagles over the Raiders. David Marcus should have followed his instincts and picked the Raiders because the Jets just fell to the Bills and the leg of Rian Lindell. Marcus and the Public Pretender are out and we head to week seven with four left: Rick Freedman, Daniel Tibbitt (he sent an email at 10:24 am picking the Steelers today and we neglected to include him in the picks but he sent the email timely), Peter Sautter (who picked the Steelers with an email at 10:56 am today and I also neglected to include him but his pick was timely) and Memon.

Two winning weeks in a row and we're ready to go. The Fins got us here, so why not continue to ride them? All our money on the Dolphins not losing today! (Woops, off week for Miami.)

Giants at Saints. The game of the day. Two undefeated teams. The Saints are giving 3 at home. The Giants have a terrific Defense, and the numbers show that over the years the Saints are way below 500 coming off a bye week. Also Saints QB Brees has nine TDs this year- but how many has he thrown in the last two weeks? Zero. The same number of guilty verdicts as we've had in our four trials this year.

Brees has semi-inflated numbers from his 6 TD performance in week one over the hapless Lions. Assume for a second Brees threw an average two TDs in week one- then he would have five in four games- pretty average numbers. And Brees was still shut out the last two weeks- including two weeks ago against Buffalo of all teams. The Giants are not Buffalo and are not the team to make any QB healthy.

Giants +3 +500.

Arizona at Seattle: The Seahawks are a totally different team with Matt Hasslebeck at QB. How different? In three games Senaca Wallace had a QB rating of 82.5 with three TDs and two ints. Hasselbeck in two games has thrown 7 TDs, 2 ints, with a QB rating of 103. The Cardinals haven't won on the road this year and Warner is having a very mediocre year ( 6TDs, 4 ints, 89 QB rating).

The Seahawks are -3 at home and we like the number. Seattle -3 +750.

Sunday Night: The Bears play in Hot-lanta and we like the Falcons here -3.5 big. How big? Lets see what we do in the Giants game. We'll post something before 8pm.

Monday Night: The Broncos go to San Diego where the disappointing Chargers take on the surprising Broncos. The Chargers are led (as we often remind you) by one of the worst coaches in the league: Norv "will never ever win a Super Bowl" Turner. But are the Broncos for real? It's one thing to nip a weakened Cheaters team at home, but quite another to take on the Chargers at home where their considerable offensive firepower usually is displayed (overlooking the Ravens game earlier this year.)

We like the Chargers -3.5 because we like QB Rivers much more than Denver's Chicago castoff Kyle Orton. What Orton does well is manage a game. He won't win it for you very often, but he won't lose it for you either. While Bronco D-Coordinator (and last year head coach of the 49'ers) Mike Nolan has done an outstanding job with the Orange Crush defense this year (and we love rollin with Nolan) what this year has shown us is that for the most part a good offense can overcome a good defense. That means we expect a shootout in San Diego and we like Rivers in that type of game. Check back Monday for just how much we like Rivers in this one.

SUICIDE POOL:

Michael Feiler -Eagles; Public Pretender- J..E...T...S.; David Marcus -Jets (reluctantly, he informs us); Miguel De La Over- Eagles; Rick Freedman- Steelers; Iftikhar Memon (boy this name annoys us) Cheaters.

COLD FRONT COMING TONIGHT! Currently its a very pleasant 62 degrees, heading to a high of about 75. It was 62 at 6am today as we ran over the Key Biscayne bridge in the dark and then headed down to Baggs state park before turning around and loping back to our bike on the other side of the bridge before pedaling to Starbucks, and then home. Can't think of a better way to start off a Sunday.

FOOTBALL 2009 WEEK THREE

With a winning week Two under our belt, we're kinda like most NFL teams at this point: 1-1 and needing a win on week three.

Of course we're still south of 2K in the red, but steady and sure wins the race.

We like the Texans -4 at home over the struggling Jax Jaguars.

Texans -4 +1000.

We also are not convinced that the J...E...T....S... are for real. Gang green is giving three points to the visiting Titans. The question is what's wrong with Tennessee? We think it's the QB. Kerry Collins is a streaky kind of player and last year was his streak. We've lost every bet we've made on the Titans and against the Jets this year. Time to leave these guys alone, although we think the Titans will win today.

The best game today is the Falcons at the Cheaters. Can the evil genius and his pretty boy QB bounce back? We sure hope not. But who knows? Not us.

Who would have thought that the best 2-0 teams playing each other today would be the 49'ers at the Vikes? The guys in Purple are -6.5 at home. Based on Favre's play, that number seems a bit high, as the Vikes are looking to give AP about 25 touches on the ground. Lets throw a couple of Favres on the Vikes. Vikes -6.5 +200.

The Giants play the Bucs in Tampa and there's nothing to like about this game except the number: 45.5 For some reason the number has crept up from 42 meaning the money is going on the over. We like the under. Under 45.5 500.

Other games of note: The popular pick today is that the Lions get their first win since the Nixon administration. The Lions play the Redskins, who with a payroll of 20 billion still can't find a way to win.

And finally our hometown Fins travel out west to play the Chargers. Can't pick a team coming off a MNF game and a short week and then traveling to the other side of the country. The Chargers are hurting with LT on the sideline, and of course they have the second worst coach in the NFL. Norv "run on 4th and 2 against Ray Lewis" Turner. The interesting thing about the Fins game is that the number trended down from Fins +7 to Fins +5.5, probably on the announcement that LT was out. We will be watching to see how the Miami Wildcat works, considering Ronnie Brown had a monster game running it last week. Last year the Fins started 0-2 before turning it around, but they didn't have to travel out west after a Monday night game. We sort of like the Fins +6 if you can find it because we think the Fins are good enough to keep it close.

We wouldn't put a wooden nickel in these picks until we get hot and spot some trends. So far this year the biggest trends are that the Cheaters and the Titans have been awful and the Jets have been much better than expected. I missed all of these. But don't fret- there's still plenty of time to pay for that new 4 Stroke engine for the boat.

Suicide Pool: Last week showed you why this is tougher than it looks with six players going down for the count.

David O Markus, late of Wall Street Journal fame takes the Eagles; Ifitkar Memon : Ravens; Miguel De La Over: Vikes; Public Pretender: Ravens; Michael Feiler: Packers; Daniel Tidbitt: Ravens; Sexy Fan: Texans; Peter Sautter: Eagles; Rick Freedman: Ravens; 52nd Street Irwin: Redskins.

For those of you starting an intense 24 hours of introspection and fasting, have an easy fast and we hope you find what you're looking for.

Court closed Monday, see you Tuesday.

FOOTBALL 2009 WEEK TWO

PICKS UPDATE: With the over in the Ravens/Chargers now a win, we are +250 for the day, and we will roll that on the over 44 in the Gints/Cowpokes game.

UPDATE: SUICIDE POOL- UPSETS GALORE: RUMPOLE- OUT; Weisman/Foster- OUT; Feet of Clay Kaeiser- OUT; Jimmy the Greek- OUT; LAST YEAR'S CHAMP- Cary Clemmons-OUT.

This is the bounce back week. This is the week we get back to basics and get back into the game.

We like the Titans coming off the ten day lay off to pound the hapless Texans. Titans -6.5 +600.

INJURY UPDATE: Annoying player Wes Welker is out for the Cheaters (unless they have lied, again) and that makes us kick our pick up 100 Ryans to 200 on the J...E...T...S..

The J...E....T...S... are 4 point home dogs. We like the Jets to keep it close. J...E....T....S..+4 100, and we really like the under 47 +200.

Picks Update: We lost the Titans -650; won both our Jets picks +400, so we're -150 for the day. We're going to watch the Ravens/Chargers over which we boosted to +400 and then probably lay some Vanilla Phillips on the Over 44 on the Cowpokes/Gints game. Probably 500 or so to get us in the black today.

Perhaps the best game of the week outside of the Dallas/Giants matchup in Texas is the Ravens/Chargers game in San Diego. The Chargers are without their RB LT, but have an able backup in Sproles, and the Ravens, despite all the talk about their tough D, have a more than able gunslinger in Joe Skinny (Flacc0). We can't figure out who wins this game, but we like the over 40 +100.(changed at game time-see above)

SUICIDE POOL: Rumpole: Titans; Fake Alex Michales: Cowboys; David O Markus: Falcons; Miguel De La Over: Falcons; Wesiman/Foster: Packers; Cary Clennon: Packers; Rick Freedman: Redskins: Daniel Tidbitt: Redskins; Dan Lurvey: Falcons; Ifitkar Memon: Vikes; Peter Sauter: Redskins; Sexy Fan: Broncos; Feet Of Clay Kaeiser: Packers; Jimmy The Greek: Titans; and in the most surprising pick of the Week, the Rank Master chooses the Raiders. This is strategy. If the Raiders pull out a win, and most experts have them wining only 2-5 games this year, the Rank Master will have an edge on the rest of the field by having eliminated a weak team from the list of teams. Good luck RM, the Raiders didn't convince me last Monday night.

Who's going to the Monday Night game? Should be a fun time, but a tough game for the Fins. Remember that last year the Fins started out 0-2 before unveiling the wildcat against the Cheaters.