Florida is banning the word "Gay". Really.
Soooooo.... why stop there? We have some ideas- Ban Ideas! Ban em all! Ideas are bad. They lead to thinking; and thinking leads to voting and vaccines and that leads to stolen elections and Bil Gates tracking you when you go to Pizza shops in Washington DC to watch porn.
At the start of this governor's term he banned State employees from using the term "Global Warming" which was a good great and GAY idea.
Why do you need a boat and snorkel to get to Ocean Drive? The Democrats of course! Global warming has nothing to do with rising sea levels.
We fought World War II because Nazi Germany burned books, among other atrocious things. Burning books was a small symptom of a larger disease- hate and ignorance. Florida would never burn books. We can do bigger and better- hate more and be more ignorant than Nazi Germany. Never let it be said that Nazis out hated Florida lawmakers.
Plus, there are problems with burning books. First, there are very few books left. It's all digital. So it really wouldn't accomplish what our law makers want to do. Kindles (despite the name) don't really burn. Instead, we Floridians ban words and ideas. Because we have evolved from those crude Nazis. We mean, what Christian, God fearing Florida Republican would be caught dead in those Brown Shirts? Such a fashion faux pax for ignorant lunkhead dictator lovers.
In that vein, we offer to our Florida Governor and his minions some more words and ideas (and books) that should be banned:
Ban Biden. Ban the mention of Joe Biden. Fake President. "LET'S GO BRANDON!"
Franklin Roosevelt. Ban the mention of a great democratic President.
Reason. Science. Jews (we are a Christian nation after all). Blacks. Race. Lesbians. Transgender. Ban em all!
"Bi-weekly"- too close to the word "Bi" and can't have that.
Voting. Democracy. Covid19 (totally fake). Vaccines- government scam.
Ban these books to start: To Kill a Mockingbird; Fahrenheit 451; The Grapes of Wrath; I know Why The Caged Bird Sings.
Ban Nine of the first ten amendments to the Constitution. The Second Amendment - which every good republican can tell you requires everyone over the age of six to have a firearm on them at all times, including at church and in a bar, would replace the pledge of allegiance: "I pledge allegiance to Donald Trump and the second amendment and our love of guns. And to the republic, where we shoot each other, one nation, with no stolen elections, one loaded AR15, with ammo and rifles for all."
Ban Critical thinking. Ban The Socratic Method. Did we mention banning "reason"?
Ban all scientific research. Ban Merck, and Pfizer, and AmGen and all Bio-tech companies. Remove all mention of Dr. Jonas Salk and the polio vaccine from history books. Ban the word "vaccine" and require the death penalty (or an hour talking to the governor, which ever is more painful) if someone says the word "vaccine" in public.
Some research, especially into the efficacy of horse antibiotics and ingesting bleach as a way to cure most diseases would be allowed under certain rules called "The Non-Fauci Standards" which state that scientific investigation into drugs using a double-blind study are banned. Joe Rogan will be The United States Commissioner of New Drugs, because clearly he has the training and knowledge for it, while Dr. Fauci does not.
And finally, Ban the Blog, and ban all blogs (sorry David).
Does this make you sick like it does us? Here is a way to fight back.
Use the Word GAY every day, in as many sentences as you can, especially if you're a lawyer and in court.
Judge: Good morning counsel.
Lawyer: It's a GAY day judge. And I'm feeling so happy and GAY.
The way to beat Putin- and he will be beaten, is to every day and in every way say the word Ukraine and praise the Ukrainian people. Never stop until he is shamed into silence and defeat.
The same goes for our governor- not that we are making the GAY comparison between our happy and GAY governor and the gray and not GAY Putin. We are not.*
So it is really simple how to beat the Don't Say Gay law. Say GAY all the time. Every day.
Have a great and happy and GAY weekend.
* We really are. In every way.