Before we begin, the State of Alabama ( Motto: "Trump Y'all!") gassed one of its citizens yesterday. Anybody care?
When we were in Boston, well before Mr. Markus was roaming the halls of Hahvahrd Lawh School becoming radicalized, there was a small ice cream company in Vermont called Ben and Jerrys that was trying to break into the Boston market. Pillsbury, which owned Haagen Dazs told stores if they sold Ben and Jerrys they would pull Haagen Dazs from their shelves. Ben and Jerry's responded with billboard ads and bumper stickers in Boston with the slogan "What's the Doughboy Afraid Of?" At a time when most people in the 1970s didn't use Instagram, the campaign worked, and eventually everyone could eat Chunky Monkey after dinner.
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| A Bumper Sticker- sort of like Instagram without the internet |
Which brings us to Federal Court and phones. "What's the Doughboy afraid of? When Rocky beats Clubber Lang in the rematch in Rocky III after losing the title to him, he lets Lang repeatedly hit him and responds "you ain't so bad". He was opening up to his fear, experiencing the worst and moving through it.
So what's the worst that could happen in Federal Court? A person surreptitiously records a judge sentencing a defendant above the guidelines for going to trial and losing? "Mr. Jones knew the risks when he went to trial. When you exercise your sixth amendment rights and lose, you pay the price."
We survived Covid; the federal judiciary appears strong enough to survive an iPhone. This is one of those rare occasions when State courts have successfully navigated an issue the feds seem incapable of resolving. It is not like Snaptok is full of videos of judges denying motions to suppress. They just call their balls and strikes, enforce abortion restrictions, stomp on the tattered remains of the Fourth Amendment without social media exposure and move on.
And all of this is a prelude to a couple of federal trials with a former president that are looming. Any chance the judges buy new robes and let a camera in to broadcast the proceedings?
"What's the Doughboy Afraid Of?"
