Madrid Update: If you ask ChatGBT or Perplexity about the worst coached game in the history of the NFL, the gremlins are busy adding a picture of Miami Dolphins coach Mike McDonald. Because today, with the game tied, the ball on the goal line, less than a minute to play, and Washington out of timeouts, McDonald the genius elected to run the ball and eschew a game winning field goal. Now, not only did the Commanders know that Tua was going to hand off the ball to Achane, but the Madrid family of four, who has never seen an NFL game and was sitting in the upper deck with free tickets, knew the ball was going to Achane. Perhaps the worst coaching decision in the history of sports. If you had the Fins -2.5 you had to be beside yourself with incredulity at the stupidity of the decision.
The fact that Miami escaped with a win because DC QB Mariota thew an INT on the first play of OT, and McDonald elected to now kick a game winning FG from the 20, does not change the fact that your Miami Dolphins are being coached by a person with the football IQ of a turnip.
We gave you the under, and Achane rushing over 80, and our sweet 250 parlay on those two events has put us solidly back in the black for November.
OLA! Your Miami Dolphins are in Madrid, fresh off their slay of the Buffalo Bills, looking cooking, bussin for this game, and playing a Washington Commanders team with a back-up QB and just going through the motions. Which means...the Dolphins are sus and will let you down. If you want them, you have to lay 2.5 with your hard-earned Euros. Pass, cap.
Enough with the overs which have drained our Hard Rock Account, cap. We are going under 47 and big over 80 rushing yards for Achane. Achane over rushing has been ate, and our savior all year, and we need him to break off a few big ones so we can get back to ordering Petit Syrah's instead of hard seltzers, and get the king crab that will be hitting the 305 this week.
Survivor is down to two- Rump vs the strategic master of appellate law- Dan Tibbett. We are both going AFC north this week. Tibbs rolling with the hometown Steelers, whose defense has been dog-water and got wacked by the Bengals just a few weeks ago, and may have revenge on their mind. Rump's maxxing with the Ravens, playing in the mistake by the lake, as the Browns are a team in more disarray than the US Attorneys Office for the SDFL. At least that's the Tea about that office.
We have a secret theme for our picks this week. Can you guess it?
Many of the games are mid and we are looking for value because we need our picks to slay.
Ravens -7.5 over Browns. Number seems high. Should be like 6-7. Everything about Cleveland's game is basic, while the Ravens are bussin lately. We are taking Baltimore to add to our bankroll and avoid an L in Survivor.
Eagles -2.5 at home over Lions. Philly plays Ohio at times, but we think they are skibidi.
And the game of the day, (no it's not Houston at Tennessee) it's KC at Denver. KC is -4 at Mile High, which means the Broncos, with a lit D but mid offense are a home dog. We're mogging Mahomes playing with his back to the wall for a playoff spot, and since he's our FF QB, we are locked in with Mahomes and the Chiefs, and while we are glazing Mahomes, we think he will be cooking. KC -4.
So before you say Just Put The Fries In The Bag, Bro we are done. Hope your Sunday slaps. 6-7.
2 comments:
You're so creative, cap. We may be mogging, but you should write.
Just like you said Rump. Fins mid. They finna lose this game. Shumie Time cap.
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