trump LIABLE

 The verdict came a little after 3pm on Tuesday May 9, 2023. 

The former president was found liable for sexual assault (not liable for rape), and liable for defamation. 

The total award is approximately five million dollars. 

Ms. Carrol, the plaintiff, had testified that she was not sure if trump's penis had penetrated her, because she could not see. She was certain that his fingers had penetrated her sexual organ. Perhaps size does matter. In any event, the jury declined to find trump liable for rape, but liable for every other count in the complaint. 

Now we are going to go out on a limb here and just take a wild guess, and for the record this is before 3:30 pm on May 9, 2023, that the defendant in this case will say the following: 

1) The judge was biased; 

2) The jury was biased; 

3) The plaintiff was ugly, mentally ill, and not his type; 

4) That nobody has ever seen anything like this jury trial before and very respected lawyers, we mean really the very very most respected lawyers in the country had called the former president to tell him that they had never in their very very long and respected careers ever seen a judge more biased, a worse jury, and a more ugly and mentally ill plaintiff than in this case; 

5) That the jury was confused and clearly the case will be immediately overturned on appeal because how can someone be found liable for sexual assault and not liable for rape and that very very respected lawyers, we mean the most respected trial lawyers in the country, had never seen a case where a person was found not liable for rape but liable for sexual assault; 

6) That his lawyer did a horrible job and he made a big mistake in having him defend him because any other lawyer could have won the case and very very respected lawyers, the most experienced lawyers in the country have called to tell him they have never ever ever seen a lawyer defend a case worse than the way this case was defended; 

7) That this case is a witch-hunt which started with Russia, the FBI, Area 51, Elvis, the Cubs winning the world series, Obama being born in South Africa and raised in Chinese madrasas where he developed the covid-19 pathogen, Ted Cruz's father killing President Kennedy, the change in how McDonald's cooks their hamburgers,  and Joe Biden taking home LSAT cheat sheets which were then stored on his son's computer and sold for hundreds of thousands of dollars to liberal college students who all ate at a pizza place in Washington DC that catered to pedophiles. 

And so it goes in America in 2023.