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Saturday, September 18, 2021

OUR NEW OBSESSION: My Anaconda don't...

 Every now and then something new and exciting crosses our path and we become obsessed with it/them/him/her. 

Our new obsession is Niki Minaj. In our prior post we examined Nikki's  (we are on a first name basis now) tweet about her cousin's friend's testicles swelling after getting a Covid vaccine. The health minister of Trinidad and Tobago had to become involved and investigate, and then a contretemps with the  White House over a meeting, a zoom meeting, and finally no meeting.  

The Tweet that started it all: 

My cousin in Trinidad won’t get the vaccine cuz his friend got it & became impotent. His testicles became swollen. His friend was weeks away from getting married, now the girl called off the wedding. So just pray on it & make sure you’re comfortable with ur decision, not bullied

Query: who is the bride to be who dumped the vaccinated and now impotent groom left at an altar in Trinidad and Tobago? THAT is the interview we want:  "So you saw his...ummm...his...you know...were swollen and you claim he couldn't...couldn't get an ...obtain a ....achieve a....well, and this happened after he got vaccinated?"

Here's what has happened since then. 

Fans of Nikki rallied outside the CDC in Atlanta and called Dr. Fauci a liar. 

CNN issued an Op Ed criticizing  Nikki

Someone named "Trinidad James" stood up for our Nikki. 

We learned that Nikki is actually FROM Trinidad and Tobago! Go figure. 

Dr. Raven "The Science Maven" Baxter, who advertises himself as a "rapping molecular scientist"  (we couldn't make this up if we tried), weighed in on the controversy, chastising Nikki for her tweets. 

Former President Trump stated that Minaj would be his Health and Human Services Director when he is restored to the White House after the Georgia Vote is thrown out. (We are making this up, probably). 

And then Stephen Colbert weighed in. Enjoy.


Add Nikki Minaj to our growing list of obsessions. Somewhere after Churchill, Cosmology but before Arthur Rimbaud (sorry Artie).  Despite his brilliance, how  can a 19th century  French poet compete with this? 

By the way, what he say?

He can tell I ain't missing no meals
Come through and check him in my automobile
Let him - with his grills, he keep tellin' me to chill
He keep telling me it's real, that he love my sex appeal
He say don't like 'em boney, he want something he can grab
So I pulled up in the Jag', and I hit him with the jab like
Dun-d-d-dun-dun-d-d-dun-dun
My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't
My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun
Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Oh my gosh, look at her butt

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Manny Diaz's annual salary is 3.1 million USD.

Anonymous said...

Are you Black? Do you like hip hop? Like hip hop culture? If you dare question Fauci, who has been nothing but 100% consistent on masks ("they do more damage than good" March 2020), and vaccines ("they provide 100% protection against hospitalization and death" Spring 2021), you can expect white liberals to mock your music, ridicule hip hop lyrics, and basically portray you as a tap-dancing Sambo.

And you deserve it. How dare you question Fauci? Look how expertly he managed the AIDS epidemic, averting mass deaths of a generation of homosexual men. Look how strongly opposed he has been to "Gain of Function" research, in which animals viruses are supercharged to infect humans. The man is a beacon of integrity.

And you? Well... you enjoy music with lyrics too dumb for white liberals. How dare you question your betters. Know your place, rappers and rap fans. It's to vote Dem and then shut up for four years. The "outreach" to your community will begin again in 2024, when you are needed. Till then, shut up.

Rumpole said...

I’m not black. I do not know or love hip hop. But I’m really enjoying all things Minaj.

Anonymous said...

You open up the post with the phrase "every now and then . . ." I am an old timer. Every time I hear that phrase I think of "Fast" Gerry Klein trying to explain to the Herald why he was golfing at 11 am on a weekday when he should have been in court. Apparently he was robbed in the locker room. Hilarious. He claimed "every now and then" when his calendar got cleared out early, he went golfing when everyone with a pulse knew he was on the links every morning.

Anonymous said...

RUMPOLE.

Anyone left alive in the SURVIVOR POOL after Week 2?

Stats please dear Sir.

Anonymous said...

I'm deeply confused by the comment/question left by @5:49pm.

What difference does it make whether Rumpole is black or not?

What was the point of asking if he is or if he isn't?