Monday, April 18, 2016


We interrupt our Donald Trump like coverage of the suspension of Judge Schwartz to remind the denizens of the REGJB that there is a lunch and learn Wednesday. 

The topic, and we couldn't make this up if we tried, is...
"Defending clients with professional licenses."

Hmm.. truth is stranger than fiction. 
Sometimes the blog spirits shine on us. 
Go eat and learn. 

UPDATE: Judge Schwartz has been suspended. Initially the suspension is with pay. In other words, unlike the rest of the real world, she doesn't have to work for her paycheck. But we understand, she is a constitutional officer (as difficult as that may be to choke down) and there has to be a procedure in place for the Supreme Court to suspend her without pay. The below order requires the parties to brief that issue. 

Disciplinary troubles mounted Monday for Miami-Dade County Court Judge Jacqueline Schwartz, who was accused of being intoxicated in court and starting a drunken confrontation with staff and police at a Miami restaurant...
Thee latest incident, according to the state Judicial Qualifications Commission.
Witnesses said the judge "took the bench and presided over a criminal traffic docket while impaired" March 28, the commission charges said.
"After approximately 90 minutes, Judge Schwartz was removed from the bench by the chief judge and sent home. At first, Judge Schwartz stated that she was OK to drive herself home," the complaint said. Her bailiff drove her home in her car, but the judge couldn't remember her address or give directions and didn't recognize her bailiff or realize she was in her own car.

There was also an incident on March 18 at the Ergon Greek restaurant where the police had to be called and the judge was removed and appeared to be intoxicated, cursed at the police officers, threatened them, told them she was a judge, and threatened to have a waiter who would not serve her alcohol fired. 

Most disturbing of all is that Judge Schwartz "self reported" the incident to the JQC in which she totally and completely denied anything unusual occurring. This despite the fact that patrons of the restaurant individually called 911. 

Probable cause has been found. Things look dim. 

There are times we are hard on people and there are times we are not. In the pages of this blog recently we have refused to publicize the name of a prosecutor arrested. We said it was personal incident and we didn't want to pile on. We distinguished the arrest from an incident that would occur during the time someone was at work. 

Judge Schwartz was impaired on the bench. (Allegedly). She was removed from the bench by our chief judge while trying to preside over a trial. There was a rumor she locked herself in her chambers. Most disturbingly, Judge Schwartz apparently attempted to drive home but was stopped by police at the courthouse. 

We are by no means DUI experts, but isn't there case law that allows for the arrest of an individual who is impaired and has car keys and is going to their car under the theory they are in actual or constructive possession of their vehicle?

Was Judge Schwartz granted a courtesy that normal clients, defendants, lawyers, have not been granted? 

Enough is enough. Whether she has an alcohol problem or not, this is a judge who is consistently rude to people, who flouts her position as a judge outside of court and during the time she has nasty interactions with the public,  and has firmly demonstrated in our mind that she does not have the ability, temperament and judgement to be a judge.  She should do us all a favor and resign. If she doesn't resign, she should be removed. 

And the Miami Herald should cringe that they endorsed her in the last election and they should issue a retraction and admit they got it 100% wrong. 

Judge Schwartz's behavior is an embarrassment and brings discredit to the legal profession and the judiciary. 

Here is the complaint. 
Jeff Feiler, Esq., for the defense. 


Anonymous said...

She doesn't have a drinking problem, she has an asshole problem. Good riddance to the trash of the judiciary

Real Fake Judge Jackie Schwartz said...

Fuck you. Don't you know who the fuck I am? You can't fucking write about a fucking judge like this. I'll have you fucking arrested you fucking creep. Take this fucking post down this fucking instant or else.


Rumpole said...

Reminds me of the great Neil Simon play The Odd Couple.

Oscar: You leave me notes. Notes on my pillow. Notes on my desk. We're out of cornflakes. FU. You used the last garbage bag. FU, It took me three months to figure out FU was Felix Unger.

A classic.

Phil Davis and Roy T Gelber said...


Anonymous said...

"Judge Schwartz's chambers, please hold"

8 minutes pass....

Judge Schwartz's chambers...

Please hold for the President

BO: Hi this is President Obama can I speak to Judge Schwartz?

JS: Who the fuck is this?

BO: Judge Schwartz it's President Obama and ...

JS Fuck off asshole and stop bothering us. (click)

Judge Schawrtz's chambers please hold

9 minutes pass

Judge Schwartz's chambers

BO: Hi this is really president Obama please put the judge on the phone
JS: Hello?
BO Judge Schwartz. Don't hang up. This is really president Obama. Listen, I'm going to have Judge Garland withdraw his nomination. This nomination is getting really down and dirty and i need a nominee who isn't afraid to tell a republican senator to go fuck himself. Especially that jerk Grassley. Can you fly to Washington tomorrow for the announcement?

JS: Well, there's this restaurant thing...
BO: Already have it solved. The health department is shutting them down and it turns out Constantopolis, the waiter over stayed his visa and is on a flight back to Lesbos, and my guys at the NSA tell me there won't be any more trouble.
SO, Judge Schwartz, your country needs you. Will you serve?


Froomkin said...

Wait a minute. Didn't the Herald already retract its original endorsement of Schwartz by endorsing her remaining opponent, Bocanegra, in the runoff?

Anonymous said...

rumpole which odd couple episode had one of the main characters say "its bail before jail, so you better not fail"

Anonymous said...

The Herald did not endorse her during the runoff once the issue with the store clerk came to light. She was endorsed in the primary when no trouble was present.

Rumpole said...

Oscar Madison said it to Felix's poetry teacher in the episode the Pen is mightier than the pencil. In the episode Felix wrote the famous poem ode to a sky-scraper

"777 they will call you
towards heaven heaven heaven you will soar
only god can make a tree I grant you
but only man can make a 40th floor"

Great Episode.

Just discovered and read a wonderful book by Jack Klugman- Tony and Me- about his wonderful friendship with Tony Randall. I highly recommend it.

Greenberg Traurig Partner said...

I think Judge Schwartz is getting a bad rap. Just last month I got a very insightful order from her on a summary judgement motion-

"This fucking motion having come before the f'ing court on the firggin defendant's motion for fucking summary judgment, and the dammed court being g-dammed well advised in the fucking within circumstances and having heard fucking oral argument from both fucking parties it is fucking ordered and adjudged that

the motion is FUCKING GRANTED and this fucking waste of time case is fucking dismissed.

Done and Fucking ordered on this the 11th day of February in fucking 2016.

Judge Jackie Go fuck yourself-Schwartz.

I mean- what's the problem here?

Clueless in Clewiston said...

She should have been a Broward judge ! She would have fit right in.

Anonymous said...

She drinks. She curses. She calls cops pigs.

The south miami Hells Angels motorcycle club endorses Judge Jackie Schwartz as our type of judge and if they remove her ass she always has a place on the back of one of our bikes.

Anonymous said...

Anyone cover a hearing for me in Schwartz, I'm way too hungover to go to court today

Anonymous said...

what a terrible human being. Frank Bocanegra for judge!

Notorious RBG said...


Anonymous said...

The problem with the Miami Herald endorsement is that they endorsed her even before the incident with the store clerk.

If the Miami Herald had done their research and talked to attorneys that practice before her they would have realized that she is not a good Judge (and that's being kind). The editorial board did no research and that is why they just decided to endorse the incumbent. She should have never won the reelection.

Not JAFI much longer said...


Fake Judge Jackie Schwartz said...

They fucking endorsed me, okay? You got a fucking problem with that?

Anonymous said...

Does she realize she has police officers at SDJC that protect her if something were to happen in her courtroom? Calling police officers and rescue workers pigs! Really? She probably treats her staff the same way. She's an asshole.

Anonymous said...

Nice job all you folks posting and re-posting her troubles all over your Facebook pages. She's gonna get what she deserves and the media is going to make sure it's on Pg. 1. But, do you have to gloat? Get a life. You know who you are.

Anonymous said...

What's with these schwartzes judges and temper issues?

Anonymous said...

Wacky Jacqui

Anonymous said...

Supreme Court Suspends Schwartz with pay effective 5pm today until the case is over. Orders briefing as to why suspension should not be without pay. Ouch!

Anonymous said...

She would be a great asset to the Broward County bench!!!

Anonymous said...

"Her troubles".??? I'm troubled that my tax dollars pay for a drunk judge to make decisions that affect others lives.

Fake Judge Jackie Schwartz said...

You can't f'ing suspend me. The voters elected me. Don't you know who I am?

I'm calling Donald Trump.


Anonymous said...

Do you all think it's funny that she suffers from alcohol addiction? Do you imagine that judges don't or shouldn't suffer from alcohol addiction? Do you think someone who suffers from alcohol addiction knows they shouldn't run for judge? Or attempt to attain any employment paid for by tax dollars? Do you know any addicts? Have you witnessed their struggles? Do you think they wake up one morning and say, gee, I have or want to get a real responsible job paid for by tax dollars, so I'll acknowledge right now that I have a problem and stop drinking to excess immediately?

The commenters on this blog must all be immensely strong, healthy, self-aware, disciplined and civic-minded people. I salute you.

Fake Alex Michaels said...

WTF? I've said and done worse. I say fuck you in court every f'ing day. Big f'ing deal.

Feel the Bern ie Sanders said...

The system is rigged by multi-millionaire un-elected supreme court judges in Tallahassee who receive big political donations from big political law firms.


Fake Judge Jackie Schwartz said...

This cause, having come before the duly elected court in Miami-Dade County, and the court, being fully advised in the within premises that Justices Labarga, Pariente, Lewis, Quince, Parady, Perry, Moe, Larry, Curly and Shemp have interfered with the duly elected Judge of this County, is it hereby ordered and adjudged that

Justices Labarga, Pariente, Lewis, Quince, Parady, Perry are hereby SUSPENDED FROM BEING JUDGES until such and further time when they can SHOW CAUSE before this court as to why they should not be removed from the bench for unconstitutional and totally uncool actions ab initio, sui juris, res ipsa dixie, jus sanguine, and yuck yuck yuck.
This order shall take fucking effect immediately. Moe Larry Curly and Shemp are excused because you don't mess with the stooges.

Done and Ordered in Flannigans, Miami Dade County On April 19, 2016

Judge Jackie Fuckin Schwartz

Anonymous said...

I actually wouldnt mind a drunk judge if he or she would start calendar by 9AM.

Still hoping that the Herald asks each candidate for judge that question: If elected, at what time do you pledge to begin work each day?

Anonymous said...


Police were called. When they showed up, the judge called them “pigs,” an investigation by the Florida Judicial Qualifications Commission claimed. Investigators also said Schwartz was spilling wine and slurring. The commission did its own investigation and interviewed the officer who confronted Schwartz.


She was singing the 70's hit
Spill the Wine
Dig that girl...

run with that defense

Anonymous said...

6:27 I don't give a damn about her personal problems. If I was before her because I cursed at a cop and was arrested would she give a damn if I had an alcohol problem? Indeed the rules of criminal procedure specifically PROHIBIT a downward guideline departure for drug and alcohol problems.

She ran for re-election with her alcohol problem. She owed it to Dade county who has carried her for a decade and the tax payers of the state of Florida NOT TO RUN for re-election because she had an alcohol problem. But besides having an alcohol problem she has an integrity problem and that's why she deserves all this ridicule.

If she resigned from the bench, got help and ran again, or even if she took an unpaid leave and got help and then used her position to show others how they can get help, then you would be right.

But she has no honor. No integrity. So she's a drunk with no honor. And that means she's not entitled to our sympathy. Every judge in this county knows how bad she is. Let her return her last five years of salary and apologize to all the litigants who came before her while she was drunk and abusive, and then maybe your complaint is valid. But not now. Not as she continues to deny her problems. And yes, I know denial is a symptom of the disease. But she has hired a lawyer who says she didn't drink. She took meds. She gave a completely false statement to the JQC completely denying the incident at the restaurant and being puzzled why the police were called. The same police she called "pigs".

You want sympathy for her disease? You going to re-pay the litigants she screwed over? Ask around- all the hours people waited for her to take the bench late and drunk? WHo is going to repay the City of Miami for the time the police were taken off the road to deal with a spoiled drunk judge who lied about it and cursed them?

You want sympathy. You go support her. As a tax payer and lawyer, I for one (to use her language) am fucking tired of her taking advantage of all of us and running for judge because she is a female and can win.

F her.

Anonymous said...

Rump good call on odd couple

Can you recall what industry Felix's classmate wanted to blow the lid off of.

Anonymous said...

Sorry Jackie, but karma is a bitch. Other than jeff feiler, im not sure of any local lawyer that will come to your aid.

Rumpole said...

Ha.No. I remember the quote but I cannot think of the industry.

If you read that book I recommended Klugman reveals that the Password episode is his favorite and probably mine as well and that as Felix is being wrestled off the stage Tony Randall improvises the line "what a gyp" which really was very funny.

Anonymous said...

At least she's suspended with pay; so that pesky Job won't get in the way of her boozing career

Anonymous said...

7:06 hit that on point

Anonymous said...

the classmate's book was going to "blow the lid of the upholstrey business...I name names" One of the best!

Anonymous said...

the most disturbing part about her conduct past and present is how she obviously thinks she is better than the working class, as evidenced by her treatment of restaurant staff, police officers, convenience store owners, and "non-descript hispanics." how do you think she treats criminal defendants? whatever judge posted that tirade with all of the weird rhetorical questions is COMPLETELY missing the point of why we're talking about her in the first place and why she should not be on the bench. her raging alcohol and drug problems are symptoms of her megalomania, not the other way around.

Anonymous said...

Another Little Girl wearing a robe masquerading as a grown up with life experience who is totally unqualified to judge others. Our bench is probably the second worse in the country only to Broweird.

Anonymous said...

How come Jackie is suspended WITH pay and Giselle Pollock was suspended without pay?
Giselle had no priors with JQC. Giselle was nice but, drunk.
Jackie has a really bad prior and was a bitch to everyone.

I don't get it.

Anonymous said...

Listen 2:23:00 the comment "another little girl" is sexist, it is also not true as she is a 50 plus woman and also completely irrelevant to the accusations alleged as the gender of the person has nothing to do with the underlying issues. As the author of this comment it makes one wonder: Did you have mother issues growing up? Are you divorced and cannot make a relationship work? or Are you just jealous? Your comments might be taken more seriously if you could refrain from letting your own personal issues get in the way.

Anonymous said...

To 11:11 p.m. - Right on sister.

Anonymous said...

2:33 you are an asshole. I'll name you 7 judges who run intellectual circles around you (in alphabetical order): Brennan, Colodny, Sayfie, Tinkler-Mendez, Tunis, Walsh, and Ward. That is a list from our building alone, not even including county court or men. How can you indict the entire bench because of one disturbed judge? Oh, right, because you are an asshole. A sexist asshole.

Anonymous said...

11:11 - yes, I am jealous. Very jealous. I too wish to be a disgraced judge who has zero support from anyone. Where do I sign up?

Anonymous said...

I think the bigger issue is with the chief judge and the administrative judges who knowingly allow bad and unethical judges continue on the bench unreported. Jackie'so problems were no secret, just like so many other horrible bad judges who nothing happens to. But we are watching and so is the world. Unless they get some balls this shit will continue. Stop sacrificing the people and report your bad judges to the JQC.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like another former Hialeah fuck up that kept getting swept under the table. Stop being political and stand up and report.

Anonymous said...

So Wacky Jacky decides to default my client seven days after we filed our Answer and Affirmative Defenses. So she decides to deny our motion to vacate her default order. So my poor clients have to spend money they don't have and are forced to file an appeal (still pending) before the Circuit Court Appellate division because Jacky was to lazy or just to stupid to review the file or docket before defaulting my client.

Jacky is the reason that Judge's absolute immunity from civil liabilities should be removed by the legislature.

Also to Anonymous wrote said...
"Judge Schwartz's chambers, please hold"

8 minutes pass...."

Try getting Lawrence King's JA on the phone sometime.

Anonymous said...

Judge Robert dube was in business with dr Richard Levitt surgicare outpatient center of Miami is is not a conflict of interest after for judge King or rule and dismiss my case without reclusive himself Witt vs Stryker