Tuesday, August 14, 2007



Our New ASAs got a rude welcome to the REGJB yesterday as the unexpected shutdown of the 17th street Bridge turned the morning commute into an exercise in frustration.

The City Of Miami ( motto: “professional planning night and day for the next earthquake” ) shut down the 17th street bridge while the 12th street bridge, while open, is under construction and the access roadways are limited. As it stands now, the only major access road into our area is the 12th street exit off of 836 which is one exit off of I-95. That has turned 12th street/12th avenue, with 12th avenue also feeding into the crippled 12th Avenue bridge into one big traffic nightmare.

Now under certain circumstances, this might be a good thing. We overheard several rumours about Judges who were so frustrated that they didn’t want to come to court. Less Judges can never really be a bad thing can it? For someone of them it was an actual opportunity to get through a Monday without making a reversible error.

So this traffic problem might well result in a lesser workload for the 3rd DCA.

Sort of like the unforeseen consequences of global warming.

Here are some alternate routes:

Coming from the South. You can stay on US1 instead of turning on 17th and take it to I-95. Then to 836. The problem is that you will get funneled into the traffic nightmare of 12th street.

Try turning on 27th Avenue and heading North to North River Drive which is also NW 20th Street. Turn right on 20th and this will essentially take you behind the Justice Building. Turn right on NW14th Street and you will then be able to access the parking lots on 14th and 12th avenue.

Coming from the North. If you usually take 1-95 to 836 to 12th Street, try the little exit NW 14th Street before 12th while on 836. You will have to act quickly, as the time on 836 is equivalent to a federal voire dire, eg., about 30 seconds, but it will take you north of the 12th street/12th avenue morass.

The Hialeah option. Not for the faint hearted. You basically have to take a bunch of roads labeled NW14th avenue/3rd street/SE99th court/Calle Generalissimo Rodriguez.

No matter which way you head they all funnel you to a street corner where you can purchase bags of limes and pastelitos while waiting for the light to change. I would venture to say that during the decades we have lived in Miami, we have actually spent more time in Europe then in Hialeah. And that was intentional.


Meanwhile, for those of you who got to work yesterday:

Satan was being prosecuted before Judge Adrien. He is representing himself pro se.

Outside of the fact that the lights kept turning on and off and the courtroom was shaken by occasional thunder, nothing unusual happened. Our own Tom Cobitz gets the call as stand-by counsel for the lord of darkness.

Not exactly Daniel Webster and the Devil, but if you have some spare time stop by the Third Floor and watch the proceedings.

Our favourite local scribe, Ms. Nesmith, reports that over the weekend the defendant had a change of heart if not a change in Deity. The Defendant is charged with murder, and the prosecution intends to argue that after the killing, the Defendant intended to cannibalize his victim. The Defendant has forsaken his desire to have the satanic bible at his table, and now intends to rely on the more pedestrian defense (no, not "the devil made me do it") that the police beat him until he confessed.

Yes, this trial promises to be full of astounding allegations.

You can read the article in the Herald HERE

And the Herald is having conniptions because there is a tropical storm in the Atlantic. It has been a slow news summer, and in the words of the Herald: “Nothing sells newspapers like our home town being devastated by a hurricane.”

Since the start of hurricane season we have the impression that the Herald seems to be begging for a disaster to hit us. As the late Miami Radio Personality Mike Renari used to sing

"I don’t want no hurricanes coming round here…”


Anonymous said...


With two more co-defendants distancing themselves from Michael Vick, the embattled Falcons quarterback was considering on Monday whether to accept a plea agreement for his alleged role in a dogfighting operation.

Sources told ESPN's Kelly Naqi that Vick attorneys Larry Woodward and Billy Martin met with federal prosecutor Michael Gill and the investigators on Monday afternoon. The attorneys planned to speak with the quarterback in the evening to see what direction he wants to go in.

That comes on the heels of news that co-defendants Purnell Peace and Quanis Phillips are scheduled to appear in federal court in Richmond at the end of the week and are expected to accept their own plea agreements. Peace's hearing is at 9 a.m. (ET) on Thursday, while Phillips will appear on Friday at the same time. Plea agreements would clear them to testify against Vick.

Collins R. Spencer III, a spokesman for Vick's defense team, said the lawyers were surprised by the plea deals.

"They didn't see it coming," Spencer said.

Anonymous said...

I am surprised by your comments Rumpole.

You appear to be racist on two points. The Hialeah comment stopped short of a racial slur against Cubans. (not to worry the Cuban bar will forgive you just ask Judge Cohen).

The Judge Adrien pic next to the devil creture stops shot of using the N word. (this could be a problem unless you are a democrat).

In the future choose your words more carefully.

Rumpole said...

1) get over yourself and stop taking this too seriously.

2) have you ever been to Hialeah? I have traveled the world and never seen another place where one street has three seemingly unrelated names. It is disconcerting to say the least.

3) There is nothing and I repeat nothing racist about the post about Judge Adrien. You tell me exactly what reference or hidden inuendo there is to a racial slur? Judge Adriene is from the Islands. I googled "pictures of satan" and choose the second or third picture I saw. It is as simple as that.

But why stop there? Why not accuse me of making a racially insensitive comment when I told the new ASAs to watch out for Cuban coffee as too much cafeine and sugar is not good? Why isn't that as racially insensitive as claiming (correctly) that Hialeah street signs tend to have three or four names to the road?

And when you are finished answering those questions, go to the front desk and ask the nurse when you can leave the mental ward.

Anonymous said...

Not only do the streets in Hialeah have multiple names, they don’t run strait , they end at canals; And you can not ask directions because no one speaks English. If you find your way to the courthouse, Judge Shelly will yell at you. New ASA`s beware.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole always says if we want to know who he is, "think outside the box." Lets take him at his word. The Justice Building is box-shaped. Could he be hinting at the fact that maybe he rarely sets foot inside the Justice Building and is therefore outside "the box?" If so, then who would he be--a semi-retired former Justice Building regular? A former Justice Building regular who has gone on to greater glory in federal practice? An administrator at the LOOBHB or the SAO? KFR?

Anonymous said...

Hey 9:45. Get a life. If this country is coming to the point where one must get clearance from the thought police before opining, I am leaving the good old USA and going to .............Hialeah!

Anonymous said...

There is reference by one of the commenters regarding the pictures on this post being Judge Peter Adrien and a devil creature. Actually I thought you were exposing Adrien's secret identity.

Anonymous said...

Milton Hersch, author, never seen in court, Rumpole.

Anonymous said...

FYI the 17th ave bridge will be reported closed for at least nine months (which actually means a year) due to the recent tragedy in MI. they just realized that that bridge is the worst bridge in miami and can fall at any point... so now they decided to take the time to fix it... good job...

Anonymous said...

Tough luck E, no more easy nolle prosses in dui court.

Anonymous said...

Whoever is saying Milt is Rumpole is probably putting their shutters up because there is rain in the east atlantic.

Rumpole is someone who is in the building a lot. Milt is there maybe once a week.

Get some perspective.

Rumpole said...

Regardless of who you think is Rumpole, I do not publish coments that make fun of how someone looks. You may think this means you guessed correctly, you have not. But beyond that, if you research the blog, you will see numerous comments by me saying the same thing about different indiviuduals. This is a hard an fast rule.

Anonymous said...

I figured it out while away on vacation:

Rumpole drives a cadillac coupe deville slightly damaged from an accident he had near the everglades. He drives to the Justice Building every day from Boca Raton. He is president of his condo association. Whenever he works out a plea agreement, he uses his "space pen"which he always brags to prosecutors that it can write upside down. Isn't it obvious folks?

Hence: IT is Jack Klompis. Gotcha Rumpole. You are out'd. Admit it.

Anonymous said...

Rump, this is actually an e mail to just you (I won't use my e mail server).

I'm surprised you didn't publish my comment that Phil looks like you. It wasn't meant to offend anyone (including him). I don't see how it was insulting. It was really a comment on his repeated denials. Kind of like non-hearsay. It wasn't offered for the truth of the matter asserted. Anyway, keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

i dont care who rumpole is.
i just want the heat and humidity to go away.

"they said california is the place you ought to be, so they loaded up the truck and moved to beverly...hills that is, swimming pools, movie stars..."

Anonymous said...

uncle leo HEEELOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Milton Hirsch is not Rumpole. No way, no how.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole is none other that APD Danny Tibbit

Anonymous said...

to 1050 ; you seem simpleminded enough to think the blog is 1 person. ever heard of email and a phone.

Anonymous said...

Is Phil R. a real tall white man, thin with glasses who left the pd about a year ago?

Anonymous said...

no. the tall guy is scott pettus

Anonymous said...

Guess what... the two nearby bridges, both 12th Ave AND 22nd Ave. both have major construction issues and large traffic jams.

Great planning!

Anonymous said...

Update Rumpola- I decided to name my secind kitten Sy. No reason to explain. He is a tough little guy and loves to play with my other cat Sarduy. So now I have Sarduy and Sy as cats. I guess you can deduce that I have a pretty boring personal life.

Anonymous said...

Let me just say it before anyone else does- no one would ever mistake me for being thin.

Phil R.

Anonymous said...

Holy Cow the Scooter died!

Heaven must have needed a shortstop. They got a hall of famer in Phil Rizzuto.

Anonymous said...

...blame it on the rain.....



I was asked to handicap the Judge Shuminer seat.

Let me start out by saying that I don't do handicapping - it is impossible to predict what a politician will do on any day of a given week - let's see which way the wind is blowing.

Having said that, I do want to point out that, unlike his predecessor - Bush - Gov. Crist has bucked the trend of naming sitting judges to higher seats.

This practice that Bush was so famous for, got him two appointments for every one that he started with. So, if a Circuit Court seat had an opening, you could expect him to appoint a County Court Judge; giving Bush another open seat - on the County Court.

Crist has been very different. To date, he has made 10 appointments to the bench (with John Thornton being the latest tapped). Crist has had many opportunities to appoint a sitting Judge to a higher seat; thus giving him the extra appointment. Of the 10 appointments he has made, only once has he chosen a sitting Judge; that being County Judge C. Jeffery Arnold was appointed to the Circuit Court.

In the 3rd DCA, for example, he could have chosen two of the nominees who were sitting Judges; he instead chose Vance Salter. In the 4th Circuit, he could have chosen two County Court Judges; he instead chose a family law attorney, Mark Mahon. David Young's seat went to a criminal defense attorney, John Thornton. In the 19th Circuit, Crist chose a personal injury attorney from the law firm of Willie Gary, F. Shields McManus to replace Scott Kenney. In the 18th Judicial Circuit, he chose another personal injury attorney, Robert Wohn, Jr, over five other candidates including a County Court Judge. In the 1st DCA, he did not choose a sitting Circuit Court Judge and chose instead a member of the House of Representatives.

So, my initial assessment is that Judge Gayles and Judge Sarduy do NOT have a leg up on the other four candidates, - Joe Davis, Miguel De La O, Nushin Sayfie and Lisa Walsh.

He seems to be going for the most qualified and deserving candidate of the six finalists - and that - my loyal readers - is a good thing. I mean, he has even gone so far as to pick criminal defense and personal injury lawyers.

Joe Davis is certainly a highly qualified local attorney; Miquel De La O - what can I say about him - maybe you should ask Catalano; Sayfie and Walsh both have excellent reputations as fine attorneys (of course Sayfie does have the political connections as her hubbie Justin Sayfie was senior policy advisor, spokesman and chief speechwriter for Gov. Jeb Bush, and he was also a Bush-Cheney '04 Ranger as well as being the co-chair of the 2004 Bush-Cheney grassroots campaign in Broward County).

So, for what it is worth, that is my analysis of the Shuminer seat. We miss you Cristina .....

Look for both Judge Young and Judge Shuminer next month as both will premier their shows in September.

CAPTAIN OUT ..................

Anonymous said...

C'mon Rump,

You didn't post my "outside the box" comment AND you don't comment on it? Que pasa? Is that an admission?


Anonymous said...

thanks captain for that breakdown, or should I say, thanks Brian T, as we all know who the captain is anyway, don't we.

Anonymous said...

I was once appointed to take over a case that Miguel De la O had prepared for trial but was unable to try due to a conflict, which arose at the last minute. The work that had been done by Miguel (depos, motions, memoranda.) was of excellent quality and made trying an otherwise difficult trial a walk in the park. In short, Miguel De La O knows his business and in my opinion is well qualified to be a Judge

Rumpole said...

Send it again CK- I think I did post it but you left it under another post. Look at the comments for the previous post, I believe it is there.

Anonymous said...

Okay Rump, trying to think outside the box. If you are talking about "THE box", the most important box there is, you must be a woman!


Anonymous said...

If Nushin becomes a judge, it will ONLY be because of who her husband is. Bet on it. Nushin will be Norma Lindsey #2.

Anonymous said...

Captain am I mistaken or is Walsh an attorney for the JQC?

Since Thorton got the last appointment and De la O comes from the same camp site it is my prediction that we will be saying Judge Miguel De la O very soon!

Anonymous said...


Wrong. Sometimes politics and talent cross paths.