Wednesday, July 25, 2007




Jury panel queried in masturbation trial

A Broward prisoner on trial on charges that he masturbated in his jail cell will face a jury of his peers.
During jury selection Wednesday in the case of inmate Terry Lee Alexander, all seven jurors admitted to attorneys that they have masturbated.

The awkward questioning was posed by defense attorney Kathleen McHugh, who faced 17 prospective jurors and asked point-blank who among them had never masturbated.
No hands went up.
Then, she went one-by-one, asking each prospective juror if he or she had ever masturbated.
All nine men said yes, two of the 10 women said no.

McHugh's line of questioning, which also included definitions of obscenity, vulgarity and indecent exposure, was a preview for a trial that will determine whether what Alexander was caught doing in his jail cell violated prison codes on vulgarity.

The 20-year-old was alone in his jail cell in November when a female deputy, watching him from a nearby control room, became offended when she saw him masturbating.
He is facing a misdemeanor indecent exposure charge and a maximum of one year in jail.

What the article doesn't say is that this female deputy has a history of filing criminal complaints against inmates who masturbate.

It is, believe it or not, against the rules of the Broward jail for an inmate to engage in onanism.

The real issue, and one that has been overlooked by all the media focusing on the antics of the Broward Judiciary, is that the Broward State Attorneys Office files this crap.

How many defense attorneys have been told by a Broward ASA that after the depos were taken that they believe the defendant is innocent but that their office has a policy of never dropping cases and making the jury acquit the defendant?

That is the real outrage that is going on North Of the Border. A prosecutors' office that has abandoned any semblance of discharging the duties of prosecutor. The Broward ASA's are for the most part merely robots that are wound up, pointed towards court, and told "try that case."

Stepford Prosecutors. A real menace to justice.

See You In Court in Dade, where as far as we know, none of the many people we know and work with on a daily basis who could testify as an expert in the Broward case, will be called as a witness.


Anonymous said...

What a bunch of jack offs!

They should stop trying to see if the case will stick and put it all in a sock.

Anonymous said...

I think the 2 women who said no should be investigated for perjury!

Anonymous said...

Tis is not being hard on crime (Pun intended) it is being soft on brains!

Anonymous said...

I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom, but I taught her never to dishonor her family. She found a boyfriend; not an Italian. She went to the movies with him; she stayed out late. I didn't protest. Two months ago, he took her for a drive, with another boyfriend. They made her drink whiskey. And then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted. She kept her honor. So they beat her, like an animal. When I went to the hospital, her nose was a'broken. Her jaw was a'shattered, held together by wire. She couldn't even weep because of the pain. But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life beautiful girl. Now she will never be beautiful again. I went to the police, like a good American. These two boys were brought to trial. The judge sentenced them to three years in prison - suspended sentence. Suspended sentence! They went free that very day! I stood in the courtroom like a fool. And those two bastards, they smiled at me. Then I said to my wife, for justice, we must go to Don Corleone.

Anonymous said...

If I was on that panel the answer would have been.... none of your fucking business.

I wonder why the judge allowed that kind of questioning?

Rumpy, can you let us know what the verdict is?

Rumpole said...

CK- could you send me an email from an address I could respond to? I have a private communique.

Anonymous said...

discharge. rumpole said discharge. huh huh huh.

Rumpole said...

4:50= I leave the reporting of breaking news to the reporters. But I will go out on a limb here and venture a prediction:

And then they should move for costs.

Anonymous said...

Hey Rumpole! I noticed that some notable golfing members of the judiciary and their trusty bailiffs are no where to be found.

Tomorrow is Thursday and I wonder if there will be a return to greens by Judge Ivan Fernandez and his trusty Bailiff Frank as well as the other Members of "The Judicial Golf Team".

Anyone for Golf? Doral Gold Course at 1 pm? Anyone? See you there?

Rumpole said...

Let me respond to that comment- Judge Ivan Fernandez is a very respected and hard working Judge. You need a trial? He is ready to go.

Now, no where is it written that a Judge must stay in his or her chambers every moment between 8am and 5pm. Bailiffs and Judges often work late when they are in trial. I do not think Bailiffs get overtime. If Judge Fernandez wants to treat his bailiff to a golf outing during the summer every now and then, when things are slow, I don't see anything wrong with it.

It is a big difference between an occassional afternoon golf game, and knocking off every day at 1 to play tennis like Seidlin did in Broward.

Anonymous said...

The Q regrets to announce that as he is out of town in California for the forseeable future, his lecture this weekend at the Uof M Law School, on the intoxilyzer 8000- "Problems with Interference, purge analysis, and extrapolations in Type 2 Diabetics" will have to be reset.

Anonymous said...

What does Golembe have to do with all of this?

Why is he relevant to the discussion?

Anonymous said...

Ladies and Gentleman, the next Public defender of Dade County: William Jefferson Barzee.

All rise.

Anonymous said...

I've been to that Q lecture. Its one of his better ones.

Anonymous said...


Why is this filed?

Talk about wasted resources!

What is the right sentence if convicted -- three minutes, time served, and a paper towel?

Anonymous said...

here we go barzee here we go!! but
if we can't have barzee then give me the nafty. what? no nafty?? bring in the the nally. and if we can't get the nally-bring in that old bag sally.

Rumpole said...


We obviously try cases better than we can predict the outcomes.

Anonymous said...

"You keep doing this sir, you're going to go blind"

Rumpole said...

I know for a fact that is not true.

Anonymous said...

What's the eamil address


Anonymous said...

I had a client who was once charged with L & L in front of a kid for messaging his balls in front of a kid.

He was sleeping in a camper, woke up, went out side and grabbed his balls... well the kid said he was like... presenting them to her.

The information said he was "masturbating" in front of the kid.

We looked in every DICTionary we could find and could not find one that said ball rubbing was masturbating.

Not guilty. Client in custody for about 8 months. Special PD case.

Ten years of college for THIS?

The fun part was that Jeri Beth Cohen was the judge......

Anonymous said...

Looks like they finally caught Fredo Gonzalez with his pants down and written documentation to prove his latest chapter of perjury in front of Congress. What a disgrace this man is to American government, American justice, and American history

Rumpole said...

CK my sometimes dimwitted friend. This is the email address. Howardroark21@gmail.com. It is on the front of the blog. You need to send me an address so I can send you an email. See?

Anonymous said...

The Q woulda walked that guy in Broward with one hand down his pants.

Rumpole said...

You know, I used the biblical term for masturbation- Onanism, and the story of Onan, who the lord instructed not to spill his seed on the ground.

But can you imagine the possibilities for closing here?

"Let he who has not sinned cast the first vote for guilty."

Anonymous said...

Judge Lindsey is a nice gal, probably very bright and I think she has the ability to make decisions, she just doesnt. She struggles with even the most ministerial rulings. And, like most judges with that affliction, when she does make a decision its a rubber stamp of a state objection.

A long time ago R. Hersch told me to give her a chance, she'll get better. Hasn't happened, little buddy. She's still a deer caught in the headlights.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Anonymous said...

I heard it was a 'hung jury'.

The jury said it was 'hard to convict'.

No one can say, 'Broward is soft on crime.'

The jury came back with a question, 'can we see some physical evidence.

Ok, ok, for real....The jury came back Guilty, and the Judge 'whacked him'.

Thank you everyone - I am here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress!

Anonymous said...

Who cares about Lindsey- that Bloom PD!!! Dreamy!!!!

Anonymous said...

8:42- I must disagee. I have been in front of Judge Lindsey frequently lately and like old man Hersch said, she has in fact gotten better. She does not automatically defer to the state all the time now, thinks about issues, reads case law, tries her best, and is polite and considerate to lawyers. I say give her more time and she will get better.

Anonymous said...

4:39: Bonasera

What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.

Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day accept this justice as gift on my daughter's wedding day

Rumpole said...

Before I knock off for the night, can someone please explain this to me: The Fins draft Ted Ginn Jr about ten slots higher than anyone expected. They take an enourmous risk on an injured player. It was clear Cam Cameron had an intimate knowledge and relationship with Ginn and his family. WHY IS THIS GUY NOT SIGNED AND IN CAMP?

Ginn owes the Dolphins for taking a chance on him. He cannot afford to miss camp, especially a first year head coach's camp with a new QB, a new offensive system, and a suposed new attitude around the Dolphins.

Prediction- things remain the same for the 8-8 going nowhere fast fins.

This really stinks.

Anonymous said...

If the Broward Sheriff's Office is going to start arresting people for jerking off then they may as well start with their own donut munching deputies. Most of them are a bunch of j/o's.

Just remember a bird(bone) in the hand is better than two in the nest!

Anonymous said...

the prosecutor should stand up in opening and say "ladies and gentelman this is a case about a penis in a hand in a jail"

what a joke. i am a career prosecutor and i genuinely embarrased by what i hear about the broward sao.

Anonymous said...

I once had a job working with some australians. they had a song about wanking(jerking off). a line in it said if you deny doing it you are a liar and if you admit it you are a fool. no prospective juror should have to answer such a question especially in front of others. what's next? what hand do you wipe your ass with, ever picked your nose. if god didn't want us to do it he would have made our arms shorter. and from the man's perspective it is either do it yourself or have wet dreams and wake up with hardons. pass the body lotion. Oh. oh ! oh!! oh!!! yes!!!!!

Anonymous said...

"The judge sentenced Alexander, of Lauderdale Lakes, to 60 days in jail, on top of the 10-year sentence he is currently serving for armed robbery."

Doesn't sound like a big deal... but does he have to register as a sex offender when he gets out based on a misdemeanor conviction of indecent exposure? It's not like his life wasn't over already, but if he has to register it's just adding insult to injury.

Don't worry Rumpole, it looks like KFR may follow Broward's lead:

"Janelle Hall, a spokeswoman for Miami-Dade Corrections, said that while no charges have been brought against inmates, the department is working with State Attorney Katherine Fernandez Rundle's office to discuss prosecution of such ''egregious'' cases in the jail."

Sounds like a job for the trialmaster :)

Anonymous said...

forget the pd in Bloom........Bloom is hot, hot, hot!!!

Anonymous said...

I recall Marc Daks sued to compel the Feds to permit the Jewish inmates a Passover Sader. Masturbatory relief is a fundamental human right. The Broward sheriff office used be sued to compel "private rooms" for the inmates. (If they installed coin operated video it could be a profit centre).

Rumpole said...

Yeah, that's all we need in Dade. No more court appoitnments, and now you can double the number of criminal cases by arresting every inmate in DCJ for a new crime of masturbation during his incarceration.

Hey- has any female inmate ever been arrested for this?

Anyway, the coin operated porno tapes sounds like a good idea. Soda, chips, and a Jenna Jameson video. Sounds like the Saturday night of many of our single colleagues.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't be surprised if the poor sap was convicted because his lawyer embarrassed the jury. Besides being plain stupid, it was unnecessary. Needless to say, you should NEVER unnecessarily embarrass jurors who are going to decide your client's fate.

Here's a better way to handle it: "I was going to ask you if you have masturbated, but then I remembered an old joke that 9 out of 10 people have masturbated, and the tenth is a liar. I know you'd rather not answer, and I'd prefer not making anyone lie, so I'll move on." Point made: everyone has masturbated. Odds are the two women who denied it are lying. And, even if they aren't, they know everyone else does masturbate.

Anonymous said...

too bad they didn't let the jerk off...

Anonymous said...

The pd's in Bloom are starting to get a bit overrated. You guys need to get out more. This is Miami!

Anonymous said...

Can't believe his female PD couldn't get him off. Looks like more hard time in the penal system.

Anonymous said...

The prosecution is a joke, but the judge sentencing 60 days? What an idiot. If the SAO wants to present such a stupid case shame on them, but anything other than CTS is the crime!

Anonymous said...


The hottie SAO interns before Judge Arzola challenge the Bloom PDs to a bikini contest.

JIMBO BEST to Judge, as he is not in trial.

Anonymous said...

Bloom pd's lose that contest, badly.

Anonymous said...

there is NOTHING that works in the regjb that comes close to the hotness of the spectators

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, actually Bailiffs are to only get Comp time for time they work overtime. They do not have the right to leave early everyday as they are paid to work 40 hours. (The Miami-Dade County checks they receive state Hours Worked: 40)With that said, you must understand that this is called theft. A Judge is supposed to put in 40 hours as well.

I think it is sexist for you to say the Bailiff can leave. What about the JA? I mean, do the ladies who run the show not deserve a little help from their Bailiffs? Here is a term for you, "Pink Collars."

Judges should work a minimum of 40 Hours and Bailiffs should work the same 40 hours. If you disagree, you are insulting the ladies and agree with time theft.

Anonymous said...

Why would the defense attorney ever ask if the members of the panel ever masturbated? I'd want a jury pool full of wankers and then some. Let the prosecutor piss off the panel by asking. Who taught her to pick a jury?

Anonymous said...

To 3:38 -

You could not be more wrong. Judges are independently elected judicial officers who really answer to no one but the voters. The rememdy for their mis or mal feasance in office is impeachment by the Florida Senate or discipline by the Supreme Court on a JQC conviction. The Chief Judge's power over the judges in their circuit is really only limited to assignments (divisions or courthouses).

There is no defined work day. The truth is a judge can work one hour a day. If that is not acceptable then the voters may speak at the appropriate time.

That does not mean that laziness and dereliction of duty should be tolerated. But in the strict legal sense they can thumb their nose at you until their term is up.

Oh, and by the way, you really need to get some sleep.

Rumpole said...

3:38- who is sexist here? You assume the bailiff is a male and the JA is a female, when in many cases the reverse is true.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, I do not know of any JA who is female who plays golf. I mean, can you imagine? The outrage! Stop acting stupid. You know a male judge would never take his female JA golfing as you would never stop writing about it on this blog. Ladies are being abused and you condone it and Farina ignores it. Troubling.

Anonymous said...

I have to get back to work now. The Judge needs me before lunch so he can go play golf. I wonder if there will be lighting today?

Hint on who I am: I have your orders sitting in the back office unsigned for months. Who is my Judge?

Rumpole said...

Look- 1) the only one being roughed up is me by some very obnoxious female baliffs.

2) I am not in support of daily golfing outttings. And it is true it is probably rare for a judge and female JA to go golfing. But they can take long lunches, and do whatever else employees and employers do for a bit of time off.

The point is, if a Judge and bailiff and JA skip out to a 3pm movie, or some golf, or to a Marlins game, or to a late long lunch during the summer, no big deal.

If JA's are getting the short end of the stick here- and most judges we know treat their JA's very well- but if a JA is being abused, I want to know about it and you can bet I would post about it if I could prove it.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, you want to prove something? Please investigate the hardships the Bailiffs have endured on their quest to become part of a Union. They have been stopped at every turn.

Let me know if you want to know about JA abuse. I have a list. I will see you in Chambers.