We have never done this before, so why not? Take our Thanksgiving polls and let everyone know your ideal feast.
Ever since Blogger got rid of the poll widget, polls are such a pain to create.
Substack Update: Tech support looked at our issue- no publish button and eventually said "hmm that doesn't seem right." So we have written a post, but cannot publish it- for now. Stand by, unless anyone has experience with this app that is beginning to get on our nerves. Like snapchat, which no one under 21 can figure out how to use.
Okay we took the plunge. Subscribe (for free, we don't need your pennies) to our Substack and be prepared for even more brilliant
The topic on everyone's mind; the chatter you hear at the cafe's in Miami as people sip cafecito and nibble pastelitos is....who is going to win the REGJB award winning survivor pool this year? There is Team Tibbett, with people pulling for the appellate lawyer the State Attorneys and the assistant attorney generals hate to see coming. And there is Team Rumpole, vying for yet another win to go with his current league leading Fantasy Football team (because we are smart enough to not draft Vikings wide receiver Justin Jefferson, unlike an otherwise brilliant legal jurist).
Dan T is rolling with Seattle this week while sipping his Starbucks, while Rumpole is having some Dungeness crab and picking the 49ers.
Our picks.
Injury update: Aaron Rodgers is out for the Steelers, and Mason Rudolph will start. That changes the calculus for the better for the Steelers we think, as Rodgers has recently been struggling and missing wide open receivers. Steelers +2.5 over the cardiac Bears who keep struggling until the end of games may be a pick worth some Pittsburgh kielbasa, pierogi, and an Iron City Beer.
Chiefs /Colts is the game of the week and count us as someone who has had enough of being let down by KC in yet another must win game. KC is a small -3 at home, and they are the pick, but we can find better places to wage our money.
Like...
Giants +12.5 at Detroit. NY has enough to keep it close, so we will take the points, making this one as easy as green beans cooked with cream of mushroom soup.
J...E,,T,,,S Jets Jets Jets +13.5 against the Ravens. Tyrod Taylor is starting at QB for the Jets because he is the better QB on the team, and something is the matter with Lamar Jackson- embattled QB of the Ravens. Baltimore wins a close one at best over a Jets team with no cranberry Sauce Gardner anymore.
Philly at Dallas is intriguing. Dallas is getting a lot of chatter, and that's all it is. The Eagles are by far the better team. Take Philly -3 in Dallas to beat the stuffing out of the Cowpokes.
The MNF get even game is a real Turkey 🦃. But take the 49ers at home -7 over the Panthers just because we said so.
Querry: Several people we trust (so not any judges) have told us to go on Substack and write. Would you follow Rumpole on Substack and subscribe (no cost)?
"Fasten your seatbelts, this is going to be a bumpy ride."
We are not being literary. THIS is how Fifth Circuit Judge Jerry Smith's dissent in a Texas redistricting brawl case begins. And the first several pages are an unmitigated attack on US District Judge Jeffrey Vincent Brown, both sitting as a three-judge panel on a district court more fractured than Miami civil judges fighting over chambers in the new mega-civil-courthouse which will be open in December- Memo to our civil colleagues- get those summary judgment motions filed!
The dissent is personal and angry. Judge Smith brings up prior cases where his nemesis Judge Brown was reversed, as a way of expressing his complete disdain for Judge Brown. Maybe the nicest thing Judge Smith said about Judge Brown was that he exhibited "pernicious judicial misbehavior." Really.
These two guys need to meet in some El Paso bar, down a cold one, step out back, and resolve their issues. And someone needs to record it for Tik Tok and IG.
Let's just say if you invited these two judges to your Thanksgiving, gravy and mashed potatoes would fly. A turkey leg would be used as a mace to batter the other. We know Judges don't just dislike but despise each other. But rare is the fight that breaks out in a published opinion. And we would never pass up the opportunity to fuel the flames. Almost as good as the infamous Miami Fax machine contretemps in civil circuit that long-time and careful blog readers will remember. Enjoy.
We note the conference call Wednesday afternoon after the stock market's closing bell by Nivida. CEO Jensen Huang said in no uncertain terms that he sees NO bubble in the AI market, and then reported that in the last quarter- forgive us for using technical terms- his company blew the doors off. They cannot meet demand for their chips and racks. Forget about companies, but most countries on earth are reaching out to buy chips for data centers. Indeed the current administration is using access to Nvidia chips as a carrot to countries in their efforts to negotiate the end of regional flareups.
Make no mistake - here's where we are with AI. Remember when (some of you) used typewriters and people began talking about using a computer and some program called Word to replace the typewriter and that the program could store the document for easy editing, and had spell check? And most people said they were afraid of computers and didn't think typewriters would be replaced? That was circa 1986-1990. Not too long ago.
That is where we are with AI. Agree or not, it is here to stay and will fundamentally change life from how you are served cafecito, to how you drive, to how you work, to how you get your health care. And if you don't think AI will impact all areas of the law, including those who wear black robes, get your head out of the sand, We used to pay up to $100,000 for jury focus groups in trial prep. We just did one three weeks ago with AI for a tenth of the price, and nailed a quick NG.
How you read your depos and search for terms; how you research; how you prepare opening closing and cross- AI right now is changing the legal world,
The only thing it cannot change is a Judge who thinks all they need to do is call balls and strikes and deny motions. But that too will change.
For you Gen X,Y,Z and A judges and lawyers- here is what we are talking about.
Monday Update: Required reading: The NY Times Article on Chaos at the Justice Department. Do not miss this.
If you didn't catch it, check out our football post yesterday where our secret theme was Gen A slang. 6-7.
For those of you not Gen A, think about this. Your childhood punishments were going to be early, not going to the party, being grounded at home. For us Boomers, those are now our ideals.
The Ballad Of The Hurricane.
For you Gen X,Y,Z lawyers and Judges, there was a man named Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, from Newark New Jersey, who was the number one contender for the middle weight boxing crown in 1966 (back when that meant a whole lot). Newark was erupting in flames over race-riots, and there was a triple murder at a bar downtown. In another part of town Rubin and some friends were stopped by the police ( or as Dylan sings, "Rubin was driving around with no idea what kind of shit was about to go down."). A known (white) felon was found in the bar with the bodies, but he said was just there to do a robbery when three black men came in and shot the place up. The police saw an opening to close the case and take down a hero to the African American community. One person in the bar survived the shooting, so they brought in Rubin for a show-up at the hospital. The surviving victim affirmatively stated that Rubin Carter was not the man. Nevertheless, with the use of white cooperating witnesses found at the scene of the murder, the all-white jury convicted Rubin Hurricane Carter when he was at the peak of his career. That set off one of the saddest legal odysseys in American Criminal Law.
Carter was convicted in 1967. The Supreme Court overturned his conviction in 1976. Carter was convicted at a re-trial in 1976, that was if anything, more tainted by racism, prosecutorial misconduct and discovery violations. A federal habeas petition landed on the desk of US District Judge H. Lee Saorkin of the New Jersey District Court- a heroic judge. Saorkin issued a scathing opinion stating that Carter's conviction was "predicated on racism not reason" and "based on concealment rather than disclosure [of exculpatory evidence]. Judge Saorkin ordered Carter's immediate release. NJ Appealed to the Third Circuit and lost, and the US Supreme Court, back when defendants had a chance there, denied cert. The case was then dismissed with prejudice. Carter moved to Canada (can you blame him?) where he spent his remaining years as an advocate for the wrongly convicted. He died in 2014, a majority of his adult life taken from him by a racist criminal justice system in the greatest country in the world (note the sarcasm in the last part of that sentence.)
We once played this song in closing argument. In federal court. Really. It is one of our favourites, and it gets you thinking about the "greatest" justice system on earth, that took a man's life, and destroyed it.
Our favourite line: Dylan singing about the use of an informant: "How can the life of such a man, be in the palm of some fool's hand?"
Madrid Update: If you ask ChatGBT or Perplexity about the worst coached game in the history of the NFL, the gremlins are busy adding a picture of Miami Dolphins coach Mike McDonald. Because today, with the game tied, the ball on the goal line, less than a minute to play, and Washington out of timeouts, McDonald the genius elected to run the ball and eschew a game winning field goal. Now, not only did the Commanders know that Tua was going to hand off the ball to Achane, but the Madrid family of four, who has never seen an NFL game and was sitting in the upper deck with free tickets, knew the ball was going to Achane. Perhaps the worst coaching decision in the history of sports. If you had the Fins -2.5 you had to be beside yourself with incredulity at the stupidity of the decision.
The fact that Miami escaped with a win because DC QB Mariota thew an INT on the first play of OT, and McDonald elected to now kick a game winning FG from the 20, does not change the fact that your Miami Dolphins are being coached by a person with the football IQ of a turnip.
We gave you the under, and Achane rushing over 80, and our sweet 250 parlay on those two events has put us solidly back in the black for November.
OLA! Your Miami Dolphins are in Madrid, fresh off their slay of the Buffalo Bills, looking cooking, bussin for this game, and playing a Washington Commanders team with a back-up QB and just going through the motions. Which means...the Dolphins are sus and will let you down. If you want them, you have to lay 2.5 with your hard-earned Euros. Pass, cap.
Enough with the overs which have drained our Hard Rock Account, cap. We are going under 47 and big over 80 rushing yards for Achane. Achane over rushing has been ate, and our savior all year, and we need him to break off a few big ones so we can get back to ordering Petit Syrah's instead of hard seltzers, and get the king crab that will be hitting the 305 this week.
Survivor is down to two- Rump vs the strategic master of appellate law- Dan Tibbett. We are both going AFC north this week. Tibbs rolling with the hometown Steelers, whose defense has been dog-water and got wacked by the Bengals just a few weeks ago, and may have revenge on their mind. Rump's maxxing with the Ravens, playing in the mistake by the lake, as the Browns are a team in more disarray than the US Attorneys Office for the SDFL. At least that's the Tea about that office.
We have a secret theme for our picks this week. Can you guess it?
Many of the games are mid and we are looking for value because we need our picks to slay.
Ravens -7.5 over Browns. Number seems high. Should be like 6-7. Everything about Cleveland's game is basic, while the Ravens are bussin lately. We are taking Baltimore to add to our bankroll and avoid an L in Survivor.
Eagles -2.5 at home over Lions. Philly plays Ohio at times, but we think they are skibidi.
And the game of the day, (no it's not Houston at Tennessee) it's KC at Denver. KC is -4 at Mile High, which means the Broncos, with a lit D but mid offense are a home dog. We're mogging Mahomes playing with his back to the wall for a playoff spot, and since he's our FF QB, we are locked in with Mahomes and the Chiefs, and while we are glazing Mahomes, we think he will be cooking. KC -4.
So before you say Just Put The Fries In The Bag, Bro we are done. Hope your Sunday slaps. 6-7.
To start, we have the sad news that retired federal magistrate judge Dube passed away. Head over to DOM's blog where has up his post in 2013 about Judge Dube when he retired. Judge Dube was a wonderful and decent man, a pleasure to appear in front of, a Marine, and the kind of Miamian that made this city great.
There are 48 days left in 2025. Wow. And speaking of trials, that leaves the next two weeks, and the weeks of December 1, 8, and 15 to get those trials in. And it is never too soon to remind all of our readers on the very first and most important of Rumpole's rules for practicing law- never ever ever agree to allow a case to be set for trial the first week of the new year- and the first two weeks if you can help it.
What Rumpole is reading: Frozen River, by Ariel Lawhorn- a murder mystery novel taking place in Maine in the 18th century. Be prepared to be cold with the amazing descriptions of Maine's winter. The War of Art, by Stephen Pressfield. How does resistance manifest itself in myriad forms in the artist, and what the artist can do to overcome it. American Coach, The Triumph and Tragedy of Notre Dame Legend Frank Leahy, by Ivan Maisel. A Big Mess in Texas by David Fleming, about the 1952 Dallas Texans, the team, and Buddy Young's fight to become an NFL player and overcome his diminutive size and racism. Gettysburg: The Tide Turns, by Bruce Chadwick- an oral history of the battle at Gettysburg told though diaries, letters and firsthand accounts.
What Rumpole is watching- the new Springsteen Biopic Deliver Me From Nowhere, (naturally), and on Netflix- Death By Lightening- the series adaptation of the remarkable recent book about the election and assassination of President James Garfield. The first two episodes are superb.
A beautiful November weekend awaits, and perhaps a winner in this epic REGJB Survivor Pool battle.
Today November 13 is a great day in American history.
A seemingly minor domestic spat set off a chain of events that resulted in an interpersonal relationship that over a period of several years changed everything.
It just goes to show you that not all domestic arguments should end up in DV court with the 800 week program. Sometimes a simply change of scenery and roommates is all it takes.
Enjoy.
TNF: The streaking Jets, suddenly the hottest team in football going 2-0, play the revamped Cheaters, suddenly the leaders in the AFC East. Jets -13 seems a bit much, but fresh off our disastrous over pick on MNF (was the score 3-0 at halftime?) we are going with the over 43 tonight in the hopes that more action will lead to less drinking, and less of a hangover tomorrow as we head into what is nothing less than a glorious So Fla weekend.
There is chatter that judges want to do away with zoom.
And why wouldn't they?
It helps lawyers.
It helps litigants, many of whom cannot afford to pay for parking.
So why wouldn't those who wear black all the time and don't feel respected unless they sit above everyone else want to end the single most helpful innovation in the law since Westlaw made Shephardizing a case as easy as clocking on a button?
Ah, but as we dive deeper into this pending contretemps, it turns out it is not all of the judiciary. We paint with too broad of a brush. So who could it be?
It's not the DCA judges. They're busy cutting back on oral argument, so any lawyer lucky to get an invitation to appear is going to jump on it.
And it's not the Circuit bench because they need to wrap things up early and polish that DCA / US District Court application.
The feds never really had it. Plus you don't get hearings on most matters. Write a motion, prepare an order denying it, keep track of your CJA hours, and you're all set.
So who could it be that feels undervalued, disrespected, and needs to throw a temper tantrum like North Korea so they won't be ignored?
Why it's the County Court criminal judges who want to do away with Zoom!
Why?
Because they will not be ignored. They are doing really really important stuff and unlike those pushovers in Circuit, they need lawyers and litigants on bended knee, begging for their attention so the important business of imposing a w/h or adj and court costs and time to pay can be resolved with the Solomonic wisdom they all possess and just need everyone else to know about. ("Did you see the way Judge XYZ adjudicated that woman which means she will lose her SNAP assistance? Brillant! Just Brillant.") And if the poorest people in the system miss work and have to pay for parking, which means they cannot shop for food for the next day, then....just work harder, duh!
They can do what they wish. We never go there anyway. But we will tell you this, they drag defendants and lawyers to county court every day for their nonsense and do away with Zoom, we will harp on this every day until our last day blogging (June 30, 2026). And we will give credit to those behind the push to do away with Zoom. Because there is no reason the judges who do away with Zoom should not get all the credit they deserve. Over and over and over.
So as they say in pleadings,
Kindly Act Accordingly.
We run this every year. It's important. Here it is again in 2025, when our veterans are called, privately, as dumb for risking their lives for our country.
Good Monday morning REGJB! Court is opened Monday and closed Tuesday (11/11). Good luck with jury selection today.
Come Tuesday morning we will have our first cold snap of the fall, when temps start dropping late this evening. By Tuesday morning it will dip to 49! Sweater weather! We love it. And remember to skip that extra large Starbucks coffee order and donate to a local Miami food bank.
On Sunday night, as blog readers were counting their winnings (we gave you Fins over Cheaters, the Jets blowing the first pick by beating the Browns, and Seattle over Arizona) a group of senate Democrats were agreeing to a temporary funding bill that would re-open the government until January. Air travel would return in time for Thanksgiving (unfortunately that includes MIA which we abhor), and SNAP would be fully funded allowing people to use their recently worthless TRUMP cards (Terror Reigning Under Meal Payment cards). In return, the Democrats did NOT get relief for those paying the exponentially higher premiums when renewing their Obama care.
So let's summarize. To punish the democrats for not agreeing to the government funding bills, the republicans made food and health care unaffordable for many working-class Americans. Seems to us like a good election strategy for the midterms: take away food and health insurance. Sure, that works. The only thing left is to raise taxes on those earning less than $60,000.00 a year to incentivize them into working harder and earning more.
What did you miss most about the government shutdown? Visits from pesky USDA inspectors? The FDA regulating new medicines? Air safety?
Don't forget to thank your favourite federal courtroom deputy from showing up and keeping court running smoothly without being paid. Ditto to the federal PDS.
You can make your donations to help feed Floridians using the money saved skipping your Starbucks drink here:
We are down to TWO in the Blog Survivor contest, as Carolina let Lucy Lew down. It's just Rumpole vs. the appellate master of disaster: Dan Tibbett.
Guten Morgan, we start our day with the Colts and Falcons in the NFL's first ever game in Berlin. The Colts are -6 favourites and you have to ask was last week an aberration or has the whole season been an aberration? We are going to go with last week being just one of those weeks for Indy against a motivated Steeler D. We like Daniel Jones, who is continuing the tradition of failed NY first round QBs having a second chance somewhere else. And no "sauce on side" for us, as Sauce Gardner joins the Colt's secondary fresh off his early release from the NY Jets. So we are JFK'ing this with an Ich Bin Ein Berliner bet and starting our day off with a heavy dose of beer and schnitzel on Indy -6, [PUSH] with a tiny parlay on Jonathan Taylor over 93.5 yds rushing (a little too high but what the heck, it's Germany) and Penix under 232 passing yards. [WIN 15 got us 50].
The rest of the week, including the big power matchup everyone is talking about, a bit later after we finish our Vietnamese Coffee brew (we are obsessed).
First up is the Bills at Miami. Will the Fins keep it close? Who knows? Who cares? The Miami fans have abandoned this team because that is what they do. Take the points as the Bills have KC hangover and there may be a back door cover. Like for five bucks- no more. The fins stink and could lose 38-10.
Giants at Bears (our survivor pick). Chi -4 seems a bit light. Lay the 4 and get the hotdog 🌠with tomato, onions, relish, mustard and a pickle spear on a seeded bun. We love a good Chicago dog.
Arizona at Seattle. The Cardinals have disappointed us. But it's the offense of both teams we like today. A hawk beats a cardinal every time, even with -6.5, and over 45.5.
Okay, here it is, the matchup you have circled since the schedule was released last year. Browns! Jets! It does not get any better than this in the NFL. This is the battle for the first draft pick in 2026. The Browns will be looking to draft their 234th first round QB since 1990 (or as many cabinet members that resigned in the dear leader's first administration). But if there is one thing a die-hard Jets fan can count on is their team to screw it up. They got off the schneid last week, and in their battle for the first pick of the draft next year, the J E T S Jets Jets Jets screw this up by winning a close one at home. Maybe on OT FG in which the entire stadium will be praying for them to miss it. Who knows, other than it will be entertaining.
This friends, is what football is all about. Jets +2 because they screw things up like John Thune presiding over the longest ever shutdown of the government. No Snap payments? Happy Thanksgiving.🦃 * Wanna fly home? Have you considered Uber?
This NY times article about a senate investigation of federal judges who responded to a NY Times inquiry about the Supreme Court's shadow docket caught our attention.
The Republicans are going after federal judges who had the temerity to criticize the nine members of the highest court in the land. Impeachments may follow.
Why did this catch our attention? Because of the renewed grumbling at 1350 NW 12th avenue about your humble blogger.
"Something should be done"; "file a bar complaint"; "have you read what he wrote in the comments about our office?"
The third comment irks us the most. WE DO NOT WRITE THE COMMENTS, GENIUS. Others do. You might want to thank us for letting you know how lowly your office is viewed.
Back to the federal judges, who we now, uncharacteristically find ourselves sympathizing with. Fear not, denizens of courtrooms with ultra-high ceilings, we feel your pain. And we (you members of the judiciary and us- your blogger) are in good company. Forty-six different aliases were used by commentators /authors of the federalist papers. And if Publius was good enough for Alexander Hamilton, John Jay, and James Madison, then Rumpole suits us just fine. There is a long tradition of using pen-names to spark discussions about issues, The practice pre-dates the republic. So to you ASAs grumbling about us: as James Madison would say: stuff it!
And if you would like to learn more about the Supreme Court's shadow docket, then our own modern-day Federalist Judge Milton Hirsch will be giving a CLE zoom lecture about this very topic. His latest constitutional calendar on Milton's Paradise Lost...Guy de Maupassant... Ernie Banks...Mark Twain...Ulysses Grant, had this missive about an upcoming CLE.
On an unrelated note: Although the Supreme Court normally rises on or before the July 4 holiday and doesn't reconvene till the first Monday in October, this past summer saw a torrent of path-breaking opinions (and "shadow docket" orders without opinions). I'm doing a one-hour Zoom CLE on those cases at lunchtime next Thursday, Nov. 13. If you need an hour of CLE, you can get it painlessly from the safety, comfort, and convenience of your own chair and computer. Here's the link: https://mbba.
So there you have it. A defense of pseudonyms.
A Pennsylvania Farmer
(the pseudonym of federalist John Dickinson - one of our favourite Founding Father).