MORE BAD NEWS

 More bad news struck today. The email at 9:36 a.m., apparently official...The PDs Holiday party is officially CANCELED

 From Carlos Martinez: 

This was a tough call to make as we are reminded every day of how much personal contact we have lost during the past few months. I am personally disappointed that we will not be able to express our gratitude in person to you. But we need to prioritize everyone's health and safety.

Well done Mr. Martinez. This is what leaders do. They make tough and unpopular decisions regardless of the political consequences.  

Bear (and bare) with us as we reminisce a bit. 

It used to be the party of the year. We are not talking about the teens or the 00's or the 90s. But the late 70's and early 80's. Those were PD parties with a capital P that rhymes with pool and the party was cool. 

Intoxicating substances, some of which the possession of which violated certain sections of chapter 893, flowed freely. Court reporters dressed to (and some undressed) to impress. It was a time and a place that depending on the evening and the company, you could - and we are stealing a Woody Allen joke from Annie Hall- do to a judge or a prosecutor what they did to your client in court. (See the clip below). 

Alcohol was consumed and inhibitions were left at the door. It was Miami's own piece of Vegas for a Friday night/Saturday morning- what happened at the PD party stayed at the PD party. 

Yes, those were the days. And now, sigh, we stay isolated, contacting the world digitally via Zoom and Facetime and texting. The Chateauneuf de Pape (try and get 2005,2006, 2007, 2009 or 2010) is consumed alone, with maybe some KC and the Sunshine Band playing softly in the background. 

But Mr. Martinez is right. Better safe than sorry. Reports are that 20 million Americans could be infected with the virus before the end of the year. A vaccine is on the horizon and we will have a bang-up blow-out party next year, and maybe, just maybe, Rumpole will do something he hasn't done since we had a President whose middle name was Jefferson- attend the PD party. 

Until then, we raise a glass of wine to those days when life was carefree and the only virus that was deadly was transmitted when the parties were in pari delicto nec revelabis turpitudinem.

COMING UP: What Rumpole is Thankful for. (And shockingly, more than one judge made the list!). 

The Joke we are referencing starts at 2:18 in the clip. 

Boca Ban Ban Banned

 Props to DOM who is all over this at his blog /podcast launch base. 

Boca Raton banned Gay conversion therapy. The district court upheld it. The 11th Circuit struck it down 2-1. Boca can now convert homosexuals to heterosexuals. Yippee! And they can do it without wearing masks. 

Are you as sick as we are over the bent of the judiciary? Make no mistake- this is NOT conservatism; laissez  faire capitalism and the market place deciding outcomes. This is religious jurisprudence, pure and simple. What the idiots who are Republicans THINK is conservatism but wouldn't know a conservative if they tripped over William F Buckley's grave while reading Atlas Shrugged, is nothing more than their side of the collectivist coin. 

So because the 11th Circuit is in this kind of mood, we suggest they approve some more types of conversion therapies:

First- Convert Jews to Christianity. This is after all a Christian nation, right?  

Second- Convert Democrats into Republicans. No more messy elections. 

Convert godless vegetarians into meat eaters. Down with Castro and communism. 

Convert poetry readers into action film junkies. Convert lovers of classical music into metalheads. 

And finally, convert bloggers into street sweepers where they can serve society. 

Pardon us while we go vomit after reading the opinion. 

NFL WEEK 11 2020 OVER EDITION

 Welcome to our insightful NFL and social analysis. This is the OVER edition. 

OVER 195,000 of your fellow citizens got Covid on Friday. 

OVER 1,450 Americans died of Covid on Friday. To put that in perspective, that's more American deaths every 35 days than died in the Vietnam war. For those millennials and robed readers who only have a vague idea of what the Vietnam war was, please stop reading our blog and head on over to Mr. Markus's blog where he may soon have a Podcast on the best ways to skip the lines at Disney and Universal, there are videos of Texas judges singing and dancing, and you may pick up tips on how to get the most likes on Postagram or whatever that social media platform is called. 

Before we head into our award winning picks and NFL analysis,  we alert you that we are closely monitoring the Trump campaign and their lawyers dark warnings that an international communist conspiracy from Venezuela and Cuba stole the presidential election. Yes Venezuela and Cuba, countries which cannot feed their citizens, have the technological ability to defeat American technology. SEE BELOW

Packers at Colts. Indy has limited opposing QBs to a 78.9 passer rating. They have eleven picks. Indy has a D and we cannot pick the OVER 51. In fact we are going the other way. 

Chiefs at Raiders. KC is looking to avenge their only loss of the season.  Las Vegas has some game of their own on offense. OVER 56.5 - noting that the score of their last game was 40-32 KC. 

NE Cheaters at Houston. Nothing to like here from either team. The evil genius has somehow gotten his team into contention with a 4-5 record. The Texans stink but their QB can chuck it. OVER 48. 

Miami Dolphins at Denver. Have you hopped on the Fins Bandwagon? We have.  The Dolphins are -3 on the road in Denver, It will be cold. It may be nasty. But hey- we're Floridians-  we're tough- we don't even have to wear masks during a pandemic while getting a tattoo in  the bar of your local Don Carter bowling alley. Miami -3. 

SURVIVOR POOL 

Mr Markus- Vikes; Feiler- Chargers; Tischler- PASS (well played). 

This is a great diet aide. We lost our appetite after watching this. But never fear, it returned and we had some wonderful smoked wild hog jowls for breakfast this morning (apologies to Dan Lurvey and his pet porker). 

Coming Next Week: Giving Thanks during a pandemic; Biden's first cabinet picks to be announced Tuesday (we are not on the short list);  Sydney Powell accuses Lichtenstein of bullying America, Texas threatens Pennsylvania over elections results,  and more!

AND FINALLY, we remember this tragic day.  57 years ago today the trajectory of America and the arc of history and morality was bent for the worse. 

A few years ago your blogger went to Dallas and conducted his own thorough investigation.

Our expert conclusion: Oswald acted alone.

WHO IS ZOOMING

 Give credit where credit is due. Miami-Dade, land of the Trump voter, has a court system that responded quickly to covid-19 and instituted a full Zoom system. Lawyers now awake, pad into their home office, log on and Zoom their morning away. Count us as someone who will advocate for a hybrid in-person-Zoom system when everyone gets the Pfizer vaccine. Zoom reduces congestion in the court house, lowers carbon emissions, keeps traffic down, and allows clients to appear in court without wasting an entire morning. 

Broweird appears to be Zooming. Ditto Hillsborough County, which is accommodating your blogger on a pretty serious case. 

Go on the Monroe County court website and this is how much Zoom information is available_______________________. Zero. None. Nada. Appears it is easier to get a pina colada on Duval street then a Zoom link in the Conch Republic. 

So what can our readers report about  the availability of Zoom hearings in Florida in other counties? 

The following is an accurate recitation of a conversation Rumpole had with a Judicial Assistant in August 2020: 

Rumpole: I am calling to get the Zoom link for the upcoming status conference next week.

JA: What's that? 

Rumpole: Zoom or the link?

JA: Either. 

Rumpole: Is your courthouse open? Are you doing in person hearings?

JA: Sure we are. 

Rumpole: The website for this circuit says the courthouse is closed because of Covid. Have you heard of Covid?

JA: Yes. This judge doesn't believe in it. He requires people to attend court. 

Rumpole: I see. Well one way to deal with a life threatening pandemic is to ignore it. Would it matter to the Judge I am a continent away in Europe and I cannot secure a ten hour flight for a five minute hearing? 

JA: No. 

Rumpole: What a wonderful group of public servants you are. Have a nice a day. Click. 

We then called the prosecutor and counsel for the co-defendant who both told us the JA and Judge want to open court and the Chief Judge will not allow them to do so and to submit a motion and order requesting to appear electronically. We then asked why the JA is telling people to come to court. Both told us the Judge was trying to get people to show up at the courthouse so that he could convince the chief judge to allow him to open court. 

We submitted the motion and order and received an order with a Zoom link. We then asked the Judge at the hearing if he was aware his assistant denied knowledge of what Zoom was. The Judge waved us off, denied a motion to continue from both sides and ordered trial for the following week. That Friday we received an order continuing the trial that was set for Monday because of "an apparent lack of jurors." 

This folks, is your Florida judiciary at work.  The most surprising part of this horror story is that the learned judge is NOT located in Broward. 

ELECTION FRAUD WE HAVE THE PROOF

 We are social and legal commentators. We leave the investigative journalism to the lower paid minions who skulk in back alleys late at night, standing surreptitiously in doorways, hidden by fog, notebook and pencil stub and camera with telephoto lens at the ready.  (Let's see Mr. Markus write an opening line that paints such a vivid picture. Podcast schmodcast). 

But at times we do don our Deerstalker hat 

(the kind Sherlock Holmes wore), pull out our magnifying glass, and uncover clues. And we have done it again, selflessly, altruistically (and possibly because we are bored in our self-imposed quarantine). 

And now we present to you the stunning and sad results of our investigation which yields but one result even for the dimmest of the robed readers amongst us: ELECTION FRAUD! 

The results were suspicious. The winner an upstart and an upset. Feathers were ruffled and conspiracy theories took flight. 1,500 votes arrived electronically from one IP address. 

The contest was the annual Bird of the Year run by New Zealand's Forrest & Bird. The clear front runner was New Zealand's Antipodean Albatross, which is colloquially known as the Toroa.  The upstart was a fat endangered flightless Parrot called a Kakapo and a Kiwi Pukupuku. 

Networks broke into news coverage to report the potential fraud and stunning upset:

The Toroa was in the lead all along ala Thomas Dewey in 1948. Then Truman-like, the Kakapo pulled the election out at the last moments. Feathers were ruffled. Charges arose like flights of fancy. The rules allowed one vote per email account. And at the last minute 1,500 votes arrived from the same email address in Auckland.  Russian influence was speculated similar to the infamous 2019 Bird of the Year vote where Russian influence was reported by the Washington Post. The respected firm of Forrest & Bird ran the election and warned on their website that if fake votes were submitted "we will find you and be disappointed." 

Careful statistical analysis showed suspicious voting for the chunky flightless Parrot who is also known as the Little Spotted Kiwi: 

Candidates took to Twitter ala you know who- to campaign.

@team_kakapo announced their win. Twitter tagged the tweet with it's recognizable warning 

that the tweet about the election results were in dispute.

The Antipodean Albatross initially disputed the election results as "fake news"

Antipodean Albatross, #BirdOfTheYear Runner-Up

@VoteToroa

·

Nov 17

The Toroa campaign would like to deny this fake news. We have conceded to

@team_kakapo

and are prepared to whoop the moss chicken's butt for next year's #BirdOfTheYear election. #SeabirdsNotTreeBirds

@Forest_and_Bird

@DomPost

@NZStuff

#NZBirdPol

Antipodean Albatross, #BirdOfTheYear Runner-Up

@VoteToroa

·

8h

.

@team_kakapo

should have won #BirdOfTheYear. ⓘ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗽𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗱

 Upon being informed of the stunning loss, the Toroa tweeted a short concession speech, and then also like you know who-vowed to run in 2021. 

We are monitoring these results and political flights and fights hourly. You might say we have a "birddog" determination to follow this wherever there are ruffled feathers. You can count on us more than Forrest & Bird can count votes. 

THE BENEFITS OF MEDIATION

 Ohhhhmmmmmm......close your eyes.....let the world go...go down....deeper....deeper. 

Oh wait- that is MEDITATION and we are writing about MEDIATION. 

Very quietly last week a pilot criminal mediation project went into effect. Four cases were sent to Retired Judge and apparently Super-Mediator Stanford Blake, whose health appears to be just fine we are pleased to report. 

And the results of this frangipani experiment were that.....(drum roll please....) ALL FOUR CASES WERE SETTLED! TA DA!

Well fry us in butter and call us a Catfish! Mediation. In criminal court! Who woulda thunk it?

Put us firmly in the NO category about this unsavory experiment in jurisprudence. If this gets out, the next thing that will happen is that more cases will settle and no one will need criminal trial lawyers and we don't remember anything from law school about how to write a will or do a closing. Trying criminal cases is all we know how to do. (That and writing superb blog pieces, but there is only money in trying criminal cases). 

So no sir, settling cases with mediation is not something we like. Not one bit. 

Now excuse as as we have to finish an appellate brief on our IBM Selectric. 

BROWARD DOES IT AGAIN PAYOFFS IN NFL CASE YIELD ARREST OF LAWYER

 There is a new twist in the Broward State Attorneys' prosecution of NFL player Deandre Baker- a former first round pick of the New York Football Giants. 

The Broweird SAO- which NEVER drops any case, even against an innocent defendant, ended the prosecution against Deandre Baker because the three complaining witnesses signed identical affidavits in which they said they did not see anything and that it did not matter because they were not robbed. 

Their lawyer however- one William "Bill" Dean WAS ARRESTED and charged with extortion. BSO has released a statement alleging that Dean told Baker to pay his clients $266,000.00 each and that their stories would change and that they would stop speaking with the prosecution. 

This is also the SECOND accusation of witnesses being paid off in this complicated case. originally a second NFL player had been arrested in the case- Seattle Seahawks Cornerback Quinton Dunbar. However Dunbar's case was dismissed in connection with a video showing witnesses being paid off in Dubar's attorney's offices. 

QUERY: when did paying off witnesses become the norm in criminal defense? What about depos and motions? Or are we helplessly old fashioned? 

So to recap- defendant's case dismissed. Lawyer for complaining witnesses arrested.  It's Broward. Anything can happen....and usually does. 

MONDAY MODERNA GOOD NEWS

 Good Monday morning. It's the middle of November and a Cat 5 hurricane is exploding in the Caribbean- not that global warming is real or anything. The virus numbers in the US are waaaaay up and we will try and find some good news. 

First, your Miami Dolphins won convincingly on Sunday, continuing their streak to 5-0.  The Bills lost, and the Dolphins are in the hunt for a playoff spot. 

Second, Moderna, which uses the same virus platform as Pfizer, reported their interim phase three results and like Pfizer's, they were outstanding. Only five people of the 30,000 who were in the study, who received the vaccine, tested positive for Covid-19. That's a better protection rate than the Pfizer vaccine. The Moderna vaccine can be kept in a refrigerator for thirty days, which is better than the Pfizer vaccine which needs to be stored at -80 degrees Fahrenheit.  Moderna will have 20 million vaccines available by the end of 2020, enough to inoculate 10 million people, as like Pfizer's vaccine, the vaccine is administered in a two-dose therapy. 

Meanwhile we face a dark winter before spring and summer. Close to two hundred thousand Americans are getting Covid-19 every day. Remember when 50,000 a day was frightening? And people are dying at an alarming rate. Hospitals in Texas, Arizona, Ohio, and Tennessee are at or near capacity. The Dakotas are overwhelmed. This it NOT the flu, and Covid19 kills young and old alike. Meanwhile Florida allows people to congregate in bars and restaurants and Florida judges are pushing to try cases. It is insane. Count us in as someone who will REFUSE to attend court in person until we receive the vaccine. Period. 

For those few of you who do not follow us on Twitter @Justicebuilding, you missed our tweet this weekend. It is rare that we make specific reference to an individual. We tend to think big picture. But we are aware of one person who typifies the problems all of us are facing. He contracted Covid19. He subsequently was informed that he will be fired in January, and simultaneously will be losing his place of residence for the last four years. Send him you best thoughts and wishes. 

His name is Donald J. Trump. 

NFL WEEK TEN 2020

 If you have seen infrequent blog contributor Scott Saul's paen to Attorney Greg Gonzalez and his work for veterans, posted yesterday, scroll down and check it out. 

 A "Trump Like" refusal to lose or concede is the only phrase that comes to mind as we watch Messrs. Markus, Feiler, and Tischler take their battle in the survivor pool into week ten. This week they all are rolling with the Packers. As the rules require, someone has to WIN the pool. If the Pack lose today, they all survive and roll on.  

If you are like us, then you were up early getting in your exercise so you could watch the final round of the first Masters ever held in November. As we write this Dustin Johnson's lead is down to one. We love this golf tourney. 

NFL Picks: 

Best game of the week is Buffalo at Arizona. Return to the mean for both teams. The Bills beat up the Seahawks last week while the Cards fell in a shoot-out with your amazing Miami Dolphins. Arizona at home -1 for us please. Bills aren't a powerhouse and Cards are better than they looked last week. Over 56 for us as well here. 

Chargers at Miami. That sound you heard was us jumping on the Dolphins bandwagon. We had them in the playoffs next year, but this year is looking promising. Take the hometown Flippers over the snake-bit Chargers who find news ways every week to lose. Miami -2.5.  Over 48 as well. 

COMMING MONDAY: GROUNDHOG DAY. Same old Rumpole making the same warnings and complaints about courts not recognizing just how dangerous this covid-19 virus is. So if you do not want to read the same old stuff, albeit with new and worsening numbers, click on over to Mr. Markus's blog where we are sure he will be having a scintillating discussion on the evolution of the Eleventh Circuit's local rules or something like that. 

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR FELLOW LAWYER HAS BEEN DOING ?

 

There is a distinct hero walking among us. Everybody knows of him, but you may not know about him since he pretty much keeps his altruism on the hush-hush. At the Miami criminal courthouse, he is out and about and everywhere yet, in certain regards, he keeps a low profile. This attorney applies his unique experience as a military veteran and criminal lawyer, along with his distinguishable Bronx upbringing, to bring a unique solace to certain people that very much need it. I am referring to Mr. Gregory A. Gonzalez, everybody’s buddy, but do you know how much of an angel, a mensch, and a savior he can be?

Greg is  dedicated to the welfare of military veterans that come through the Miami criminal justice system.  I am not just talking about representing their legal interests for Greg goes well beyond that. You see, Greg befriends, guides, comforts, feeds, transports, and acts as a guardian angel to many of these veterans, even if he doesn’t represent them. Greg doesn’t do this to stack his resume, he does it because of extreme empathy, he knows he can help, actually understands how to help and follows through with these veterans in order to try to insure their welfare. Many of Greg’s virtues are in the open; he is affable, the high quality of his lawyering is obvious, and it is common to see him in the cafeteria buying veterans meals …and compassionately listening.

But it wasn’t until I had a recent foray in Veterans court that I saw the incredible commitment that Greg has. My client, a combat veteran, absconded from his Miami-Dade residential program. As a consequence, he was picked up in Collier county and held without bond.  The honorable Marissa Tinkler-Mendez, the presiding judge for veteran’s court (who also deserves accolades for her notable work with veterans),  was going to allow my client to be released however, he first needed to be transported back to Miami. During these COVID times, transportation from one jail to another is easier said than done…many are simply not moving the inmates around…like in this situation.  So, it became quite clear that if I did not take responsibility for the transportation, then the client would never be moved.  I arranged for my client to be released to me so that I could drive him across the State with the expectation that the client had to be admitted back into his Miami program on the same date.  Since Greg is involved in every Veteran’s Court calendar call, when he heard about what was going on, he volunteered to pick up the client and transport him. But Greg wanted to do so much more; he drove out there before the sun rose, picked up my client, fed him, and spent time really listening to him. Greg took my client back to his program, went inside, talked with the staff and observed exactly what the client was going through. Most importantly, Greg created a lasting bond as an essential mentor to my client.

If you have never served in the military, and particularly during combat times, it is impossible to relate or even understand what a veteran may be going through… but Greg sure does. Since being transported back here, my client has had some hiccups of apprehension and instability, but he wisely reaches out to Greg for existential advice.  When my client reaches out for help, Greg often responds in person to help this man through his difficulties.  Greg is a guardian angel to my client yet, my commonsense surmises that this degree of altruism is probably not just limited to my client.

Since Greg is quite selfless in his dedication, he doesn’t want this post to just focus on him.  There are other dedicated mentors, and this is what they do.  There is always a need for more mentors to get involved. 

Many of us try to give back to the community through pro bono work, volunteering, charity involvement, etc. Greg’s actions are, unequivocally, helping others yet he also may be saving some lives. Don’t just judge some of these lawyers by verdicts, how ornate their office is or other material reflections for there is more to life.   With Greg making himself continuously available to rescue these veterans where they don’t know where else to turn, his actions qualify for him to be in the pantheons of the South Florida criminal justice system.

 

 

 

 

 

 

KABOOM

 It's a story that should have happened in 2020 rather than fifty years ago in 1970. But it is a classic and we love it 

Watch the Video and then we will discuss, but here are the basics. A 45 ton whale washed ashore in Florence, Oregon. It smelled. No one wanted to cut it up and bury it. So naturally, engineers decided to blow it up with dynamite.

Nothing could go wrong with that right? Right?

 

 Off all the hilarious unforeseen side effects which should have been foreseen, is the fact that the seagulls who were all standing by ready to eat the whale carcass were scared off by the explosion and did not return. Every time we think of the dead whale meat raining down over dozens of square miles of Florence, Oregon, with the hope that seagulls would eat the bits and pieces, and those birds scared to death by 25 pounds of TNT blowing the whale sky-high, we can not stop laughing. Engineer George Thornton should be enshrined in the Engineer Hall of Fame, if there is such an entity, for his supervision of this project. How many engineers can add "blew up a Pacific Grey Whale" to their resume of work? 

And then of course there is the person whose car was destroyed by whale blubber. We can envision how they filled out their insurance forms:

Describe the accident: "I parked my car in a legal parking spot near the beach. Unbeknownst to me, a group of brainless idiots who work for the Oregon Department of Highways decided to use TNT to blow up a dead 45 ton whale. A large piece of whale blubber flew a quarter mile through the air and landed on my car and destroyed it. Really. I am not making this up." 

So dear and loyal readers, November 12 will be forever enshrined on this blog as "Exploding Whale Day". As one commentator wrote, "it is a story that belongs in 2020 if ever there was one."  The only thing better would have been if it would have occurred on a Friday the 13th, which happens to be today. 

Enjoy your weekend. The virus is raging. Stay inside and stay safe. 

CASSIUS AND THE SECOND WAVE

 Every ten days a million Americans are infected with Covid19. Salt Lake City has a positivity rate of 22%. That means if you get on an aeroplane with 300 people, 60 of them have Covid. Fly the infected skies. 

On Wednesday Florida had 5,837 new cases. As we have explained before, that number can reach ten thousand in the blink of a Republican Governor's mask-less eye. 

There are almost 60.000 Americans hospitalized for Covid19 and that means that many hospitals are full. Perhaps this does not bother you because you are staying home and socially isolating and there is little chance you will get the virus. Good luck if your appendix bursts, or you have a cardiac incident or a car slams into you while you are jogging by yourself at night. 

And consider this. There will be an increase in 2021 of cancer deaths because when hospitals are overwhelmed, people do not follow up on preventive testing like colonoscopies, or mammograms.

All in all things are not looking great. 

And then there is the occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. 

A more dastardly  villain lurks just out of sight. 

Forget for a moment that President Trump will not concede the election.  Consider this- the things the president are saying are causing large number of Americans to question the validity of the election, despite the fact that there is almost no evidence of any voter fraud, and zero evidence of widespread voter fraud. 

What this means is that Senator McConnell will be able to delegitimize  the presidency of Joe Biden. Like he did with President Obama, McConnell will be empowered to block most of Biden's programs, judicial appointments, and generally engage in four years of obstructionist actions. McConnell's actions will not be widely condemned, because many Americans will not view Biden as legitimately elected because Trump will be beating his "the presidency was stolen from me" Twitter-drum every day.  

In other words, Senator McConnell is using the actions of Trump and the gullibility of wide swarths of the American public to assist him in his own power grab.  

When you consider the evil of the Trump White House and you look for villains, look for the one who knows better and still plays along. He is lurking just offstage and out of sight.

There's your Cassius (Julius Caesar) or Claudius (Hamlet). He's the majority leader of the Senate. 

COURT APPOINTMENTS REDUX

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away there was a scandal in Miami over court appointments and payments and lawyers bills. Most prosecutors and PDs now in practice were in diapers, or not even a twinkle in their parent's eyes. There was no Starbucks outside of Seattle. We beeped each other from payphones, and sideburns were cool. 

The scandal back then  unfolded like this. There was no "Wheel". Yes it was so long ago the wheel had not yet been invented. To get a court appointment, a lawyer would grovel in chambers with a Judge, or seeing a Judge at a party, press two dozen business cards into his or her hands. The Judge could appoint a lawyer as many times as they wanted. Judicial campaign contributions didn't hurt a lawyer's cause. Some judges just appointed the same two or three attorneys over and over again. It was a living. (Not for us). 

The problem that arose back then is  the same as the current one reported Tuesday in El Herald Here. The lawyers' bills did not hold  up under scrutiny. Certain former judges were known, when their bills in various cases were matched up, to bill over 30 hours in a day- Einstein's theory of the relativity of time not withstanding. 

And then there was the old multiple case windfall scam  and it went like this. A defendant was charged with robbing six convenience stores and was charged with six separate robberies. We all know how those cases are resolved- a global plea to two years and five years probation back then, especially if the defendant had a drug problem. And in those days, rather than itemizing a bill, the lawyer could bill a set amount. So lets say the amount was $5,000 (we do not remember the exact billing levels but it was done by degree of crime.). Close out six cases at 5K each and make a cool $30,000 back when that bought you more than a weekend in NYC. 30K was some real scratch. 

Outrage erupted. We do not remember anyone being criminally charged. The investigation was an outgrowth of the infamous Court Broom investigation (where janitorial firms were charging the county excessive amounts to buy brooms to sweep the courthouse in the evenings. Not really, but if you do not know what Court Broom was, please stop reading our blog. There is space in Mr. Markus's universe for you).  

The wheel was created, and judicial campaign contributions plummeted. Defense attorneys did not need to be nice to judges who we really didn't like because now they did not control how much money we made. 

Life moved on and some twenty to twenty five years later we have another potential scandal. Well, this is how we view that- the Godfather answers all questions.  These things happen from time to time and then it blows over. (If anyone can send us the exact scene on You Tube where Clemenza says that we would be much obliged). 

 Do not get too exercised about this. There are very very good lawyers who have excellent reputations and we owe them the fairness of letting this play out before we rush to judgement or call Georgia for Biden. 

COURTS ARE OPEN (SORT OF)

 Good Tuesday morning.  State and Federal Courts are open in Miami-Dade County in the aftermath of the rain-event called ETA. "Open" in the sense of lawyers and litigants being able to appear via Zoom. "Closed" in the sense of the Covid19 Virus running rampant in Miami-Dade with a positivity rate over 7%. To put that in perspective, NYC is closing restaurants and re-instituting lockdowns because their positivity rate is over 3%. But as we say in Florida:  "We are not smarter than you;  and we are slower than you; but at least we are warmer than you. "

There are 70 days left in the most destructive presidency in the history of the United States. Some things that may occur during those 70 days: 

Thc cabinet is fired; Pennsylvania is sold to Canada...so is Wisconsin. Congress is disbanded. The US withdraws from NATO. The US invades Lichtenstein because we can. Russia buys Las Vegas. The Seventh Fleet is sold to China for a "very very good price." The wearing of masks in public is outlawed. Anyone caught wearing a mask in public is subject to a five year minimum mandatory sentence.  The President Tweets out the Nuclear Codes because "lots of people want to see them". Four Nuclear Missile Submarines are sold to Saudi Arabia in exchange for them throwing the President a "really really big parade. The type of parade no one has ever seen before." The President orders the National Archives to use a sharpie to remove Amendments 1, 3-11, and 13-14 from the original Constitution. Mosques are ordered closed because of Covid. Citizen councils are formed to report on anyone who says "Black Lives Matter." The White House is closed for renovations until further notice. The portraits of both President Bushes and Obama are lost after they are accidently set on fire. OJ Simpson is hired to investigate.  By executive order, the President must work at Mar A Lago. The entire state of Alaska is open for oil drilling.  The CDC is closed. Dr. Anthony Fauci is prosecuted by the Justice Department for speeding. Pfizer is seized by the Marines. Vaccinations will be given based on voting records. The Gulf Of Mexico is closed to commercial shipping so that more oil drilling rigs may be built. Amazon is prosecuted for selling soap over state lines. Every public school must be renamed for a Southern Confederate General. No federal funds will be spent to fight wildfires in California and Oregon. Airforce One is renamed TRUMP ONE. The Head of Qanon is named to head the Department of Education. "Every Legal Vote" is defined by law as a "every vote for a Republican."   "Defund Georgia" appears on billboards throughout the nation.  Philadelphia is closed for sanitation violations.  

Stevie Wonder is appointed to recount all of the votes by hand and until he is finished no winner of the race will be declared. 

And finally, the US Army Corps of Engineers is sent to the Mexican border to finish the wall. Rudy Guliani sues Mexico for the costs of the wall and the judgment is sent to a collection agency. 

And on January 1, 2021, by executive order, this is the newest National Park:

And this is the newest best selling shirt. We cannot wait until we get ours.