JUSTICE?

Update: Speaking of justice, John Leighton and Ira Leesfield are two of Miami's well known and well respected attorneys. For many years they worked together in a partnership. The South Florida lawyers blog writes about their blow up and here is a copy of the shocking complaint in Leighton v. Leesfield. 

This is sad to see a 42 year friendship dissolve in this fashion. 

There are two news items for us to ponder in our never ending examination of Justice:

ITEM: SCOTLAND RELEASES MAN CONVICTED OF LOCKERBIE BOMBING:

On December 21, 1988 terrorists blew a 747 out of the sky over Lockerbie, Scotland, killing 270 innocent men, women, and children.

The one man convicted for this horror has terminal cancer and has been released to go home and die. We do not agree with the decision. None of those killed by his cowardly act had a chance to go home and say goodbye to their loved ones. Their lives were violently and unexpectedly ripped from them.

That being said, there is a strong measure of admirable humanity in the reasoning behind the release. Here is part of the transcript from a CNN interview with the Justice Official in Scotland who authorized the release:

MacAskill: Well, I've said all along, and I said in my statement, I'm very, very sorry for the grief. It started in the 24th of December, 1998 (sic) when a heinous atrocity was perpetrated above one small town in Scotland, taking the lives, not just of Americans, but 11 people from our small land.

Nothing can assuage their grief. There is nothing that I could say to Mrs. Cohen or to anyone else that will ease the pain that they have on a day and daily basis.

But in Scotland, our justice system is not predicated on vengeance, but on bringing people to account. And equally, our value system is predicated on seeking to treat people in a matter that is merciful and compassionate, even if they do not show to us as we would wish to show to them.

Blitzer: Do you...

MacAskill: So I'm so heartfelt sorry for Mrs. Cohen and every other victim for the Scottish, UK, American or wherever else. But equally, we are adhering to the values that we have and are following the due process of law that we possess.

Blitzer: Do you realize that you've made their grief so much more powerful right now because they see the picture of this guy walking on a plane and flying back home to Libya where he is about to be received with a hero's welcome?

MacAskill: I've released a sick man. The medical evidence given to me in a report dated 10th August by the Scottish Prison Service says that he's terminally ill. That is a sentence that I cannot impose in Scotland, no court could. We do not have the death penalty. It's final, terminal and irrevocable.

That sentence that he now faces cannot be revoked by any court or overruled by any jurisdiction. I have decided to allow him to go home to die. I am showing his family some compassion. I accept there was a compassion not shown to families in the United States, or in Scotland.

But we have values, we will not debase them, and we will seek to live up to those values of humanity that we pride ourselves on. He was brought to justice after tremendous -- what, not simply by Scottish police and prosecution authorities, but by the United States.

Equally, as I say, in Scotland, justice is tempered with compassion. And that, as I say, is why he has been allowed to go home to die.

Rumpole says: We're not so sure he's right; we're not so sure he's wrong. We are sure our prison system needs a strong dose of what Mr. MacAskill is saying.

Item: Plaxico Burress pleads guilty to shooting himself in the leg and gets two years.

As many people are commenting- one football player in Miami drives impaired and kills another human being and gets 30 days. Another football player shoots himself in the leg and gets two years.

Something's wrong here?

Maybe. Maybe not. New York has very strict gun laws. In the US in 2006 there were 30,896 gun related deaths- or more than ten times the number of people who died in the 9/11 attacks. And that number remains fairly consistent year in, year out, decade in, decade out. States have legitimate interests in regulating the carrying of firearms and NY has well known and very strict laws about illegally carrying firearms.

The problem, if any, is in the result of the Stallworth case not the Burress case. If Mr. Burress wants to emulate the "thug life" he sees in videos and music, then he can do the time and pay the price that kind of life leads to .

3rd DCA ROUNDUP

UPDATE: If you want to understand what end of life care is, and not be frightened by the nonsense of "death panels"read this NY Times article on Palliative care. We should all be so luck at the end of our lives to receive compassionate palliative care.

The worst thing that could personally happen to these morons like Sarah Palin is to have body/spirit breaking aggressive medical treatment at the end of their life. Unfortunately for the (hopefully small) percentage of the US Public that considers her a leader on this issue, Palin won't understand the folly of her ideas until she's dying. Then she'll know.

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK EDITION.

From James v. State, Judge Shephard, somewhat upset:

On August 24, 1999, Derrick James was sentenced to twenty years in state

prison as a habitual felony offender and prison releasee reoffender for burglary of

an unoccupied dwelling and grand theft. Since then, he has peppered the trial court

and this Court with post-trial motions, petitions, or appeals, almost faster than we

or the trial court could respond.

We fervently disagree with James’ assertion that he has acted in good

faith. We do conclude he has exhausted his post-conviction remedies and certainly

has exhausted us in the process.

(Here's comes the hammer:)

We further direct the Clerk to forward a certified copy of this opinion to the Department of

Corrections for consideration by that institution of disciplinary measures against

James pursuant to sections 944.279(1) and 944.28(2)(a), Florida Statutes (2008),

for the filing of a frivolous appeal.

Alonso v. State- Got a speedy trial question? Here's a speedy answer:

(Hint- the rule may say "speedy trial" but the rule of thumb is wait a day or so just to be sure.)

Silvio Alonso got himself arrested for drug trafficking. On THE LAST DAY of the speedy trial demand period his lawyers filed a Notice of Expiration. The court concluded the notice of expiration was premature and struck it. The 3rd DCA affirmed.

Poor Silvio. His lawyers were a wee bit anxious. Rumpole's rule of litigation: when in doubt, wait a day to be sure.

Don't make this mistake folks. If the speedy trial period applicable to your case expires on say the 15th of the month. File the NOE on the 16th, notwithstanding the plain language of the statute that says you can file the NOE "on or after" the date of expiration of the time period.

See you in court, where patience is a virtue.

THORNTON SEALS THE HIRSCH TAPES

BILL TAKES AIM AT DC?

And with all the politicians out of town, what a waste of a good hurricane. 

The South Florida Lawyer's blog and the Sun Sentinel (the title of the post links to the Sun Sentinel article) report that Judge Thornton has SEALED PERMANENTLY the "Milt Hirsch" tapes. 

Thornton is quoted as saying that he listened to the tapes "not once, but several times" and that the tapes DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT SHOW THAT HIRSCH TOLD HIS CLIENT TO FLEE. 

Rumpole says: this must be some vindication for Milt Hirsch. It is not easy to have your reputation bandied about with rampant speculation on what was said or not said on tapes on which it is alleged wrongdoing was discussed. 

We can't help but think that since Judge Thornton was very clear that Milt Hirsch was NOT advising his client to flee, that it would have been better for Milt Hirsch to have the tapes released. However the decision was not Milt Hirsch's to make and he has to live with the decision of the judge. 

We can't help but think that it was 35 years and one week ago on August 11, 1974 when President Nixon was forced to resign the presidency when tapes showing his complicity into the Watergate break in and cover-up were released to the public.  Many people have commented in retrospect that it would have been better for Nixon to destroy all the tapes. 

In Mr. Hirsch's case,  it appears his actual innocence is on the tapes. 

We have a few questions: did Judge Thornton deny the motion for post conviction relief? And if so, did the specific conversations on the tape affect his decision. put another way- did the Judge listen to the tapes and did that contribute to the decision to deny the motion? 

If so, then we applaud Judge Thornton for reaching a decision on the full merits and considering all the evidence. 

NPR REPORT: PD PLIGHT

Be warned: this is a very disturbing post.

(If you're interested in a Dolphins preview, check out the previous post. And we are happy to report that Ana's cyclonic circulation has dissipated to point where she is not even being tracked for the time being. )

The title of this post links to the NPR article on the failed PD system. The article actually appears to deal with the problems of SAPDs or "conflict counsel". While Miami gets a mention - with PDs complaining the only time they have to see their clients in jail is on the weekend - ( and we respond by saying that they should do a little better at the bond hearing and they won't have so many clients in the can)- the real terror is the appointed private lawyer system in Detroit.

One Bob Slameka has been making a living - if you can call it that- for the last 40 years by handling appointed cases in Detroit, where the fees haven't been raised in 30 years. Slameka proudly refuses to take phone calls from his clients because he won't get reimbursed for the costs, and only sees his in custody clients a few moments before court.

A lawyer like this is a tragedy waiting to happen- and that's just what did happen when Slameka did his usual slip-shod work on an appeal for a client named Eddie Joe Lloyd who ended up serving 17 years for a murder he didn't commit. Another team of lawyers eventually succeeded in proving Lloyd's innocence through DNA.

Here's the outrage: When Lloyd complained about Slameka's poor work on the appeal, including failing to consult with him about the issues in the brief- here is what Slameka wrote back to the state Bar about his innocent client:

"This is a sick individual who raped, kidnapped and strangled a young woman on her way to school. His claim of my wrongdoing is frivolous, just as is his existence. Both should be terminated."

When asked if he really thought his own client should be executed, Slameka said yes, that's what he wrote at the time and that's how he felt.

"That's exactly what I wrote. That's exactly how I felt," he said. "You know something? Because of people's actions, a lot of people don't deserve to live. OK? You take people's lives — I'm not saying, an eye for an eye — but because of the nature of your behavior, sometimes maybe you don't deserve to live on this Earth."

When reminded that Lloyd was exonerated and never actually killed anyone, Slameka brushed it off. He said he didn't have DNA evidence at the time, and criminal defense is a very different job now.

Rumpole says: You get what you pay for in life. And make no mistake- there isn't a legislator around who believes running a campaign with the promise of paying more money to defend accused individuals is a winning cause.

"Getting tough on crime" is the slogan that gets them elected. And once elected, politicians have no desire to be accused of raising taxes to pay for indigent defense. This causes the Bob Slameka's of the world to crawl out from under a rock and take up the job nobody else wants,

We're so damn proud of our legal system. We like to call it the best in the world. Ask Eddie Joe Lloyd how good the US legal system is. He served 17 years for a crime he didn't commit.

Wait. You can't ask Mr. Lloyd. He died two years after getting out of prison. His life mostly wasted by the incompetence of a lawyer who wanted to see him executed.

A lawyer advocates for the execution of his client who turns out to be innocent. And this lawyer is STILL practicing law!!!!

This makes us sick.

See you in court.

NFL 2009 DOLPHIN TIDIBITS

With the start of the 2009 pre-season, many of you are wondering whether we can keep up for a 3rd year our absolutely astounding ability to pick football games well beyond the 66% winning percentile most pro touts only dream about.

Rumpole says: we've been doing it for 25 years or so, so why should this year be any different? Take it from the guy who has watched 90% of ALL plays in EVERY pre-season game this year so far (The NFL Channel makes our job so much easier), we will be ready on day one to make you some bucks.

Your 2009 Dolphin pre-pre forecast:

The best Dolphin draft pick in 2009: Second round (61st overall) Sean Smith. A real steal at 61 and very impressive in camp. This 6' 3 1/2" 214 pound CB will be a shut down corner in the red zone man defense for many years to come.

The worst Dolphin draft pick in 2009? Easy. Our insiders tell us that first round pick CB Vontae Davis - while athletically gifted, lacks the desire, intelligence, and is far from the hard nosed football player a first round CB should be. This will be a wasted pick as Sean Smith keeps Davis relegated to an expensive nickel back substitution player.

Will the Dolphins win the division again this year? Not likely. Although Chad Pennngton becomes the first QB to start a second season for the Dolphins in 7 years, a weak wide receiving corps (you really think Greg Camarillo and Devon Bess match up favorably with the likes of say,

Moss and Welker for the Cheaters, or Ward and Holmes for the Steelers?) puts the pressure on the offense. Teams will put 7 and 8 defenders in the box, double Ted Ginn if necessary and press coverage on Camarillo and Bess or the TE. With the running game tied down, the Fins don't have the guns at WR to stretch the field and make the defense pay.

The defense also has some gaps, including the aforementioned rookies at CB, and the disappointing pre-season of Dolphin LB/DE Matt Roth. Don't expect Joey Porter to repeat his feats of last year, and Jason Taylor is a nice pick up, but lets face it- he's way past his prime and subject to injury.

The bottom line: The Dolphins still have a suspect secondary, a weak WR corps, and an aging group of LB's with Porter and Taylor. Their running game is solid, but teams will shut that down and force them into passing situations. The wildcat won't surprise anyone this year, and coach Bill Cowher has been telling anyone and everyone that will listen that the way to beat the Wildcat is to blitz it. Just ask the Ravens if that works. (Remember last year's playoff fiasco?)

The dolphins are well coached but they invested a luxury pick in the second round in QB Pat White when a LB, DL lineman, or RB would have had more immediate results. Vonate Davis will be a bust like his older brother TE Vernon Davis (also a first round pick with exceptional athleticism but no heart for the game).

The Patriots are back. The Jets are well coached but should be beatable and the Colts are also on their way down but Manning is always tough and the home opener on Monday night should tell us a lot.

A wildcard slot is possible, but we just don't see the Dolphins better than 9-7 this year. They are improving, but this is a tough league.

STAYING STUPID ON CRIME

YOUR EXCLUSIVE REGJB BLOG AFTERNOON CONE OF CONTINUANCES UPDATE (just got back from court)

Bill is upgraded to a Hurricane but appears to be heading off to the east. Bermuda and the Carolinas need to keep an eye on Bill. 

Ana is downgraded to a Tropical Depression and Tampa and the Panhandle look to be likely targets, but it might graze Key West, so if you are down there the only thing to do is to increase your level of alcohol consumption IMMEDIATELY BY ORDER OF RUMPOLE (just don't drive).

From NY Times Op-Ed Columnist Charles Blow, an Op-Ed piece entitled "Getting Smart on Crime" caught our attention. (The title links to the article.)

Stats: US Prison population has quadrupled over the last 25 years while the population has grown by less than a third.

The US has more inmates per capital than any of the 36 European Countries with the largest inmate populations. The total number of US inmates is MORE than the combined total of inmates of those 36 countries.

States spend 1 in every 15 dollars on corrections.

Yeah, those drug minimum mandatories are really working well aren't they?

A 2006 UCLA study found that in California it was cheaper to put drug offenders in rehab programs than to incarcerate them, and the recidivism rate is much lower.

As Judges Rosinek and White-Labora like to remind us: "Drug Court Works!!"

Anybody want to defend the reasoning behind the legislature investing the discretion in drug cases with a 25 year old prosecutor and taking it away from a 50 year old judge?

We elect or appoint Judges (beyond the three hour lunches they take) to make tough decisions on cases. There is no justification, beyond political pandering by politicians seeking votes, for legislatures to enact minimum mandatory sentences beyond the review and discretion of Judges.

Want to piss off a prosecutor in Miami? Watch them preen around court waiving a 15 or 25 year minimum mandatory at some kid- just waiting for the defense attorney to coming begging for something...anything. Then you tell the Judge the client is eligible for youthful offender sanctions and the judge has the discretion to sentence without regard to the minimum mandatory. Makes the prosecutor crazy. They just can't stand to have anyone other than them play the role of the almighty.

But YO sentencing works. When given the opportunity with YO sentencing options, Judges make well informed and reasonable sentencing decisions almost all the time. The same cannot be said for "Dr. NO, Esq," at the SAO and his policy on minimum mandatory sentences. But then again, most judges have a lot more legal and life experience than that .....(fill in the blank with your own choice derogatory adjective.)

Maybe someone reading this will cite the above mentioned statistics to a judge or prosecutor in court today or this week.

It's a start.

ANA AND BILL

Business being a bit slow at Home Depot and Channel Seven, and mindful of President Obama's mandate to stimulate the economy, we bring to you:

SUNDAY EVENING UPDATES- The "CONES OF CONTINUANCES" ( (c) Rumpole 2009, all rights reserved) have been updated as well.

Keep your browser right here all week (The Girls Gone Wild South Beach website won't miss the traffic) on Miami's only LEGAL/HURRICANE BLOG.

'Hurricanes to the left of us, Hurricanes to the right of us....and here we are

stuck in the middle with you."

Tropical Storm BILL:

Tropical Storm Ana:

RULE BRITANNIA

There's been some sort of coup in Turks and Caicos and Britain has suspended the government and imposed Home Rule on the Islands.

The title links to the Herald article.

Rule Britannia

Britiannia rules the waves....

JUDGE ARTHUR SNYDER

Based on the conversations yesterday, we think the only thing to do is create an official post for talking about memories - good and bad- of one of the legends of the REGJB.

Mayor Of North Miami Beach.

Circuit Court Judge.

First Mayor of Aventura.

Cantankerous jurist with a tennis court named after him, Judge Snyder was nothing if not controversial. He had a penchant for offering defendants polygraphs in drug trafficking cases, and for holding defendant's who showed up late to court in contempt.

But he was also tough on the state. Judge Snyder could separate the wheat from the chaff and knew a BS state case when he saw it.

Post your memories of Judge Snyder. Love him or hate him, he was an original and is part of the colorful history of our beloved (???) building.

David Ranck gets PTI for Pizza provocation. The Herald reports here.

Here's the inside info on Miami's TV judges courtesy of the DBR. David Young and Karen Mills Francis are out. Alex Ferrer and Marilyn Milian (our favourite) are hanging strong.

And who else doesn't like the Judges in Broward? Why the clerk of the court!!! Here's the DBR article on the very public feud between Clerk Howard Forman and Chief Judge Victor (I'm in charge here and don't you forget it) Tobin. With television cameras present Forman got in Tobin's grill and told him just where his authority stopped (at the doors to the clerk's office).

“I was offended by his attitude,” Forman said later. “I’m kind of done with him.”

("Me too" says Rumpole)

Keep fighting the good fight Howie Baby.

3rd DCA ROUNDUP

UPDATE: Miami's most famous impaired driver- Cleveland Browns Wide receiver Donte "30days" Stallworth has been suspended by the NFL for one season. Put another way, the NFL imposed a penalty 12 times more severe than the Dade State Attorneys Office believed this Manslaughter was worth.  

In a letter to Stallworth made public Thursday, commissioner Roger Goodell said, "I believe that further consequences are necessary" in addition to the punishment handed down by the legal system.

(Rumpole says: Really? 30 days was not enough for Goodell?)

Apparently being an NFL football player is less impressive to the NFL than to the Dade SAO. They don't have a very good record against the NFL do they? Sort of like the Lions playing the Steelers. 

It's time again for our Third DCA roundup. Defendant's keep filing appeals, and they keep denying them.

It's a long hot summer and it's obvious our overworked judges at the 3rd DCA are

taking some well deserved time off.

Only one case merits our discussion:

Hutchinsion v State. This case caught our eye for two reasons. 1) Did you know that you can file a motion for post conviction relief beyond the two year time period if you first file a motion pursuant to 3.05(2) and ask for an extension of time to file a 3.850 motion if you demonstrate good cause for missing the original deadline? We didn't, but now we do.

Also not to be missed is Judge Rothenberg's ringing endorsement of plea agreements:

The importance of the availability of plea agreements (to defendants, the

State, the courts, and our system of justice) cannot be overstated. All parties to a

plea negotiation must be held to the terms of the finalized agreement.

JACK DANIELS AND JUDGES WHO CURSE

Longtime and careful readers of the blog know our interest in obituaries and a life well lived. And while we note the passing of Eunice Shriver, sister of Ted, Bobby and JFK, it is the life and death of Jimmy Bedford that has caught our attention.

Jimmy Bedford's NY Times Obituary is here.

For twenty years Mr. Bedford was the sixth master of the Jack Daniels distillery.

Mr. Bedford's responsibilities included making sure Jack Daniels Old#7 never changed. That responsibility included sipping the batches of whiskey to ensure that the taste was the same.

There are tougher ways to make a living.

CURSES!

All rise for the honorable Judge Jeffrey Marcuzzo of Omaha, Nebraska.

Now this is a judge we can do business with.

Unfortunately Judge Marcuzzo has been suspended for 120 days by the Nebraska Supreme Court. It seems that two attorneys who were litigating against each other agreed to change the date of a motion scheduled before Judge Marcuzzo. Judge Marcuzzo called the prosecutor and left the following voice mail about the hearing being changed without his consent: (Warning: X rated)

I did not appreciate that one f— bit. And if I find out you ever did that again to me or any other members of the county court bench, I’ll shove the rest of it up your a — so f— far it will make your throat hurt.

278 Neb. 331. WSJ Law Blog here.

Now that's a Judge we could do business with!! No legalese. Straight from the heart. You know where you stand with Judge Marcuzzo. And that's just fine with us.

See you in court. Let's see if we can find a Judge Marcuzzo around these parts.

DOLPHINS BLOW IT

Today is Tuesday and if business is still slow and you didn't call Susannah Nesmith yesterday, what are you waiting for??

Fallout from our criticism yesterday of Atticus Finch was rather severe. Some emails suggested we would be hung in effigy if they only knew what we looked like. Criticizing Atticus Finch to a group of lawyers is akin to going to a Dolphin game and saying something negative about Dan Marino. It's just not done in polite company.

Mr. Markus is back blogging with the third addition to his family home and safe and secure as he plans for tuition to Harvard, class of 2027. What do you think that will run? About 400K a year, plus whatever they will be using for books by then.

And speaking of returns, the Broward Blog appears to be back and running after a brief summer hiatus.

123 of the most discriminating individuals we know follow us on Twitter here. Perhaps you should too.

Football season is almost upon us, and before the first snap, before the first tackle, before TO's first curse at the QB for not throwing to him, the Dolphins have officially blown it.

Go here to see and hear the awful reincarnation of the Dolphin's fight song. But first we recommend a strong shot of medicinal brandy, and a barf bag. It's truly awful.

See you in court.

OH SUSANNAH

Today is Monday and if you're not in court trying a case like the rest of us, perhaps business is a bit slow? What are you going to do about it?

Looking at the phone won't make it ring. And don't even think about calling that slimy bondsman who slipped you his card last week.

Do you have a website? Do you have a web presence?

Do you have a story to tell about who you are and what your firm does?

Then click on the title to the post and contact our favourite former Herald Reporter, Oh Susannah Nesmith who has reinvented herself as web consultant to the stars of the South Florida legal community.

Atticus Finch revisited.

Poke any lawyer in Au Bon Pain at the REGJB and odds are he or she will tell you they wanted to become a lawyer after reading or watching Atticus Finch's defense of Tom Robinson in "To Kill A Mockingbird." Most of them will also tell you they considered naming their first son "Atticus" or their first daughter "Scout."

But if you think about it, Finch's defense of Robinson was half hearted at best.

He engaged in the "blame the victim-she wanted it" defense by putting his client on the stand to say Mayella Ewell tried to seduce him. Finch even engages in a little sliming of the victim by having Robinson recount a conversation with Ewell in which it is readily apparent that she is having an incestual relationship with her father.

Finch relies heavily on Robinson's left arm being useless while Ewell had bruises to the right side of her face. But is it beyond the realm of possibility that Robinson hit Ewell with a backhand or otherwise struck her while her face was turned?

Finch has Robinson recount an almost unbelievable story by Ewell of saving money for a whole year just so she could send the children out of the house that particular day in the knowledge that Robinson would be walking by. Can you just imagine a prosecutor saying in closing argument "In order to find Robinson not guilty you must believe Ewell planned this a year in advance."? Finch manages to co-mingle the "she wanted it" defense with this absurd story to the point where one must believe Ewell was so sex starved that she worked on this scheme for a whole year.

Yes Finch has his admirable qualities. He stood on the steps of the jail to stop a lynch mob. But his lawyering skills leave a lot more to be desired.

This New Yorker has a an article about the South and Finch's defense revisited here. We recommend it.

The final condemnation of Finch is just as severe- his complicity in Sheriff Tate's obstruction of justice. In the conclusion of the Novel, Boo Radely saves Scout and her brother and kills Ewell's father:

Sheriff Tate brings the news to Finch, and persuades him to lie about what actually happened; the story will be that Ewell inadvertently stabbed himself in the scuffle. As the Sheriff explains:

Maybe you’ll say it’s my duty to tell the town all about it and not hush it up. Know what’d happen then? All the ladies in Maycomb includin’ my wife’d be knocking on his door bringing angel food cakes. To my way of thinkin’, Mr. Finch, taking the one man who’s done you and this town a great service an’ draggin’ him with his shy ways into the limelight—to me, that’s a sin. It’s a sin and I’m not about to have it on my head. If it was any other man it’d be different. But not this man, Mr. Finch.

“Scout,” Finch says to his daughter, after he and Sheriff Tate have cut their little side deal. “Mr. Ewell fell on his knife. Can you possibly understand?”

Understand what? That her father and the Sheriff have decided to obstruct justice in the name of saving their beloved neighbor the burden of angel-food cake? Atticus Finch is faced with jurors who have one set of standards for white people like the Ewells and another set for black folk like Tom Robinson. His response is to adopt one set of standards for respectable whites like Boo Radley and another for white trash like Bob Ewell. A book that we thought instructed us about the world tells us, instead, about the limitations of Jim Crow liberalism in Maycomb, Alabama.

Sorry to burst your bubble. Give Ms. Nesmith a call.

We can't for obvious reasons, plus we don't need the business, but we bet she

does a bang up job.

RUMPOLE'S SUNDAY QUIZ

UPDATE. uhho.

You want to know how old we are? We quote Mike Renari: "I don't want no hurricanes coming round here..." (it worked until Andrew.)

We apologize in advance for confounding our robed readers as they peruse their sunday comics.

5 logicians walk into a diner for breakfast.

The waitress approaches and asks "does everybody here want coffee?"

The first logician says "I don't know."

The second logician says "I don't know."

The third logician says "I don't know."

The fourth logician says "I don't know."

The fifth logician says "No."

The waitress- working her way through college for a degree in logic has all the information she needs.

Who does she bring coffee to and why?

Extra credit for expressing the solution in a mathematical formula.

We "think" we know the answer.

We heard this on NPR this morning and it is Will Shortz's puzzle for the week, so if you have the solution you can go to the NPR website and submit it here as well.

SI

UPDATE: The Herald reports here that the SAO and US attorneys Office will have a press conference this morning to announce (brace yourselves) that there is DRUG TRAFFICKING (gasp) in Miami!!!

In other news, both prosecutorial offices will confirm that they are looking into reports that some people have said that some mortgages in Miami may have been falsified over the last few years.

If there's a reason why your business is slow, you can look to those criminal law "experts".

SOTOMAYOR SI!

3rd DCA ROUNDUP

If Wednesday was Sundae then Thursday is our 3rd DCA roundup day:

There is no crime of attempted battery on a law enforcement officer. There. We said it. It's out in the open. And the 3rd District agrees here in Myers v. State.

Another reason that there is no crime of attempted battery of a police officer in Florida is that if you take a swing at a cop and miss they're going to beat you up so bad that they're bound to charge you with at least battery on a police officer.

But lets think about this for a minute: If you swing at a cop and miss, and the officer sees it and is in fear of your actions, that's assault. But lets say you sneak up behind officer Friendly with a big stick and rear back to hit him with it, but just before you do, officer Friendly's partner grabs the stick, wrestles you to the ground, and then as we said before, both officers beat you to a bloody pulp. There is no assault because officer Friendly didn't see the stick. Why wouldn't it be an attempted battery on a police officer?

Judge Nushin Sayfie joins the wall of shame for doing you know what (or not doing you know what) in Sanchez v. State.

Ditto Judge Soto in Malone v. State.

It's time to get serious about this. We will pay $100.00 cold hard cash plus the costs of ordering the transcript to the first lawyer to say to a judge something to the effect of "are you sure you want to deny this Rule 3 motion without a hearing and risk having Rumpole put you in the Hall of Shame on the blog?"

Ayn Rand wrote that "Contradictions don't exist. If you discover a contradiction, examine your premises."

Our premise: That Judges could learn from the repetitive opinions saying the same thing over and over: don't deny Rule 3 motions without either holding a hearing or attaching a portion of the record conclusively showing why the movant is not entitled to relief.

What we've learned: like an habitual offender who gets arrested while on probation, some groups of people will never learn.

See you in court.

WEDNESDAY IS SUNDAE

According to the South Florida Blog, someone named "The Grinder" is after Milt Hirsch.

Yikes!

Bill Clinton rescued 2 US Journalists from North Korea.

It's a well known fact that the dear leader of that nuclear state often takes to wearing four inch lifts in his shoes.

The NY Times reports here that Russian Akula's (attack subs) are back off the eastern seaboard of the US.

And finally, a semi-well known South Florida muck-racker alleges that our chief judge is NOT listed on the Florida Bar website as an attorney licensed to practice law in the State of Florida.

Go to the Florida Bar "find a lawyer" link here and check it out for yourself. Ask what Brown can do for you, and you'll get no response.

Stranger things have happened.

See You In Court. Licensed and ready to go.

UPDATE: Mystery solved:

Anonymous said...

He is listed under bar number 131231 and his legal name is Johill Harvey Brown but goes by the nickname of Joel H. Brown, which is perfectly fine.

TUESDAY IS LOOKING BETTER

UPDATE: Milt Hirsch story breaks a civil angle....go to the civil blog here and read all the gory details including someone named "the grinder" and first amendment dross. (care to jump in Word of the Day Guys?)

Monday is done. Despite the hostile environment you know where, our client emerged from court looking like this:

And that's how we will feel back in the friendly confines of our home turf on Tuesday.

And speaking of smiling, there are two attorneys who are downright beaming.

Abdul Kallon (40) of Birmingham, Alabama and Jacqueline Nguyen (44) of Los Angeles were nominated to the Federal District Court by President Obama on Friday. Kallon was born in Freetown, Sierra Leone, and Nguyen and her family fled Vietnam when Saigon fell to the Communists.

Talk about diversity jurisdiction!!

Finally and way way off topic for this blog is this fascinating story in the NY Times.

We probably know less about conducting a successful relationship than the average judge knows about the 4th amendment (you know Judge, the pesky one that says all the stuff about search and seizure and that probable cause junk).

Anyway, what do you do when your spouse of twenty plus years comes home and announces that he's leaving and doesn't love you anymore?

And no, the answer does not involve the words "Glock" and "9 millimeter ammunition". But what this woman did may surprise you.

And more surprising, it worked!!!

See you in court. It's still hot and these judges have not done a damn thing about the dress code/tie thing.

COURT ON MONDAY

Monday's going to be tough.

When we walk into court Monday, it's going to look something like this to us.

Where are we?

See ya.