SECRET PTI...(shhhsssssh)

SUICIDE POOL: Is now open for registration. Miguel De La O(ver) lucked into the championship last year. Now he's talkin some repeat trash. The only way to silence the judge is to join. Send an email to FBpool12@gmail.com. 

FANTASY FOOTBALL: we have 4 divisions and 19  18 17  16  15 open spots  and the battle for second place (to us) is on.  Send us an email to join. If we get more than 20 people, we can add divisions. 

PRE-TRIAL DIVERSION: DID YOU KNOW?

That a semi-secret pre-trial diversion for first time drug offenders who do not need to go to drug court has been available for several months? According to insiders, each judge runs the program a bit differently. Some run it through standard PTI, while others will just require your client to randomly show up and provide some urine. The program apparently is for the defendant who does not have a drug problem but who was arrested, perhaps in a club, with drugs, for reasons unrelated to having an addiction (use your imagination on this one). Next time you get a case like that, ask the PD in the courtroom what the judge's policy is. And don't forget to use the secret handshake. 

JUDICIAL FUNDRAISERS: QUERY- should we post them on the blog? Our view is, in for a penny, in for a pound. If we post one, we post them all. 

What judge "deserves" an opponent? Ooo...there are some judges who just hate seeing that on the blog. But post some thoughtful comments and we just might conduct a poll.  (comments like "so and so should get an opponent because they got their spot because of their hispanic, jewish, nepalese, etc, surname, is not sufficient.) 

TERRY SULLIVAN OBIT: 

We neglected to post the very fine obituary done by Herald Reporter David Ovalle. Please read it. 

And next time you see Ovalle guzzling black coffee and huddled in one of his wi-fi hot spots in the REGJB, give him a few clucks like a chicken. Ovalle hasn't yet signed up for the suicide pool or our fantasy football league. But then again, what can you expect from a Chargers fan.....? 

Long weekend coming up. Who's not working Friday (we're not even working Thursday)? 

See you in court. 

JAIL HEALTH WARNING

What to write about....what....to...write....about??

Hmmm.....slow news week.

Oh wait. There's this: if you go visit your client in jail you may catch a deadly infection for which there is no cure.

from an email:

The Miami-Dade Corrections Dept has issued an Alert that during the month of May, there have been several cases of MRSA reported at the Metro West Detention Center. MRSA is a resistant form of a Staph Aureus infection. They have recommended that you take extra precautions when visiting clients at Metro West. Recommended precautions include using good hand hygiene, especially upon leaving the facility.

Rumpole says: Recommended precautions include.. NOT GOING! Just a thought.

NEW PRE TRIAL DIVERSION GUIDELINES FROM THE SAO

You can read the full memo below, but as a service we have excerpted the highlights:

1) No one is eligible. Ever.

2) Upon agreement of the prosecution to refer a client to PTI, the client will have to drive to a small undisclosed location in Hialeah, which is actually where the government often hid President Dick Cheney when Bin Laden was alive and not viewing pornography.

3) Upon locating the undisclosed location in Hialeah, the client will be required to wait six hours, or until the clerk in the attorneys room on the 9th floor returns from wherever they disappear to whenever we step up to the window to request a file. Whichever comes first.

4) The client will pay an application fee of $500.00. The fee will be paid in cash, preferably in small bills to "Hector".

5)The application will be reviewed and denied (see rule#1).

6) The attorney must then calendar the case in court and seek a "re-referral" to the program.

7) Review steps 2-6. Rinse. Repeat.

New PTD Procedures (5)