QUALIFYING WEEK HAS ENDED ..... YOUR WINNERS & CONTESTED RACES .......

 

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

QUALIFYING WEEK HAS ENDED ..... YOUR WINNERS & CONTESTED RACES*

In Circuit Court, four Incumbent judges drew opponents this year while 19 Incumbent judges were re-elected without a challenger.  In County Court, three Incumbent judges drew opposition and 12 Incumbents were re-elected without anyone filing against them. 

And congratulations to Judge-Elect Marcus Bach Armas who was first to file in the open seat vacated by retiring Judge Edward Newman. Bach Armas did not draw an opponent and he can now turn in his season tickets to the Dolphins front office and exchange those seats for an aqua and orange judicial robe. How fitting that Judge Newman, an offensive lineman, who played in three Super Bowls with the Miami Dolphins, winning one (Super Bowl VIII over the Vikings), is being replaced by the senior counsel for the team he played with for 12 years. Thank you Judge Newman for your 28 years of service to the citizens of Miami-Dade County.

As an added bonus to getting re-elected, your Circuit and County Court judges are expecting a very nice bump in their salaries come July 1. That presumes that Governor DeSantis does not issue a line item veto on the amounts recommended in the Budget bill. 

Under the new budget, effective July 1, a circuit court judge’s salary would increase from $165,509 to $182,060, and a county court judge’s salary would rise from $156,377 to $172,015.

CIRCUIT COURT

CONTESTED CIRCUIT COURT RACES:

Group  3 

Lody Jean (I)
Teressa Maria Cervera

Group  20

Robert T. Watson (I)
Brenda Gitchev Guerrero

Group  34

Mark Blumstein (I)
Ariel Rodriguez

Group  52

Oscar Rodriguez-Fonts (I)
Jason Bloch

Congratulations to the following 19 judges who have earned another six years on the CIRCUIT COURT bench:

Group  4        Christina Marie DiRaimondo (I)

Group  6        Laura Shearon Cruz (I)

Group  9        Marcia del Rey (I)

Group  10 Scott M Bernstein (I)

Group  12 Bertila Ana Soto (I)

Group  16 Tom "Tomas" Rebull (I)

Group  26 William I. Altfield (I)

Group  28 Jennifer D. Bailey (I)

Group  32 Barbara Areces (I)

Group  39 David H Young (I)

Group  40 William Thomas (I)

Group  41 Milton "Milt" Hirsch (I)

Group  45 Samantha Ruiz Cohen (I)

Group  46 Ramiro C. Areces (I)

Group  59 Nushin G. Sayfie (I)

Group  62 Gina Beovides (I)

Group  63 Marlene A. Fernandez-Karavetsos (I)

Group  64 Zachary N. James (I)

Group  74 George "Jorge" A. Sarduy (I)

COUNTY COURT

CONTESTED COUNTY COURT RACES:

Group 05

Fred Seraphin (I)
Renier Diaz de la Portilla

Group 19     

Jeffrey M. Kolokoff (I)
Lissette De La Rosa 

Group 42    

Scott Janowitz (I)
Alicia Garcia Priovolos

Congratulation to the following 10 judges who have earned another six years on the COUNTY COURT bench along with Judge-Elect Bach Armas who avoids a contested election:

Group 03        Ayana Harris (I)

Group 07        Marcus R. Bach Armas (OPEN SEAT - JUDGE NEWMAN RETIRING)

Group 08        Carlos H. Gamez (I)

Group 11        Michaelle Gonzalez-Paulson (I)

Group 13        Elisabeth Espinosa (I)

Group 15        Linda Melendez (I)

Group 23        Carroll Kelly (I)

Group 27        Miesha Shonta Darrough (I)

Group 28        Cristina Rivera Correa (I)

Group 35        Chiaka Ihekwaba (I)

Group 39        Julie Harris Nelson (I)

Good luck to all of the candidates. Enjoy your long, hot summer trekking your way from Florida City north to Aventura and from Miami Beach west to Sweetwater and all points between. Enjoy every pancake breakfast, medianoche sandwich for lunch, and turkey and mashed potato dinner on the way.

The primary election takes place on Tuesday, August 24, 2022.

 *We apologize if there were any last minute filings that we missed but this was pre-scheduled due to circumstances not under our control; (conflict in schedule - as I am in trial).

CAPTAIN OUT .......
Captain4Justice@gmail.com

FLORIDA BAR MOVES TO SUSPEND BRUCE JACOBS ON EMERGENCY BASIS

 Some days/weeks are busier than others at the best legal blog in the United States. This is one of those busy weeks. 

As your favourite judges and ours flock to their favourite watering holes  and bend a black robe covered elbow trying to erase the thought of a person ambling up to the window at 11:59 am on Friday and filing to run against him, we have a crack team of reporters sniffing out who is filing, who is not, and who is changing their name to the Miami Dolphins First round draft pick tonight. 

Meanwhile, in another story we have been following, the ups and downs and foreclosures and forbearances of Bruce "The Bank Banger" Jacobs, the Florida Bar (Motto "We never met a lawyer we liked") moved in the Florida Supreme Court on Wednesday for an Emergency Suspension of Mr. Jacobs for having multiple ethics complaints pending. 

We do not envy Mr. Jacobs. The Bar is like Dracula*, they can pass you by and not bat an eye, but once they set their sights on you, they are as blood-thirsty as a night-dwelling Transylvanian and can be as angry as a swarm of Alex Michaelses attacking prosecutors. 

Multiple ethics violations. What to do? It reminds us of what the great Sy Gaer would often say when the state moved to revoke his client's bond for a second or third arrest: "If that is not the clearest indication of a pattern of police harassment judge, I don't know what is." We give that one as a freebie to Mr. Jacobs learned Bar Counsel defender. 

2022-559 Petition 80029 Petition2dsuspension2028emergency29 by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

 

The Bar: " The Florida Bar also moves to suspend the license of one Horace Rumpole, notorious and cantankerous blogger of Miami for calling the Florida Bar Dracula."

Court: "Why do we have to hold this hearing at night after sunset?"

A ROSE IS A ROSE IS A ROSE, EXCEPT WHEN YOUR NAME IS TERESSA MARIA TYLMAN .....

BREAKING NEWS: In Circuit Court Group 52, Incumbent Judge Oscar Rodriguez-Fonts now has an opponent. Jason Bloch has filed paperwork today to run in that Group. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ON THIS RACE IS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION INCLUDING A FEW NUGGETS YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS READING.

UPDATE: Rumpole Says: The Japanese have a saying: "When a man walks into a room, he brings his whole life with him." 

We have a saying here in Miami: "When an Anglo woman married to a Hispanic man decides to run for judge, she brings her newly adopted name to the ballot."

Well done Captain. And we hope Ms. TMTC (hijklmnop-LSMFT) decides to email us and respond to this post. She is invited to do so without any edits (unless she curses at us). 

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

A ROSE IS A ROSE IS A ROSE, EXCEPT WHEN YOUR NAME IS TERESSA MARIA TYLMAN.

We have been writing for this BLOG (thank you Rumpole) since late 2005. We got into this business to report on the JNC process, newly appointed judges named by our Governor, and judicial elections. If you are an avid reader, then you know that we have, on several occasions, called out judicial candidates for playing the Name Game. In order to enhance their appeal to a certain segment of the voting population, a candidate who went by one name for years and years overnight becomes a totally different person.

Well, in 2022, that honor (but will she eventually be called Her Honor) goes to attorney Teressa Maria Tylman.

THE FLORIDA BAR

According to The Florida Bar, Ms. Tylman was listed as an active member of the Bar under the name Tylman from her admission in September of 2010 until February of 2022. She also used the email address for Bar purposes of tessatylman@gmail.com

On February 23, 2022, according to The Florida Bar, she changed her last name to Cervera and her email address to teressamcervera@gmail.com and she became:

Teressa Maria Cervera, The Florida Bar, Admitted: 9/23/10

6800 Bird Rd # 444
Miami, FL 33155-3708

So, with the help of an anonymous tipster, we did some checking.

FLORIDA DIVISION OF CORPORATIONS

According to SUNBIZ, Ms. Tylman is currently and since inception has always (for ten years) been incorporated under the name:

Entity Name: TERESSA MARIA TYLMAN, P.A.

Current Principal Place of Business

2030 SW 60TH AVE
MIAMI, FL 33155

SIGNATURE:  TERESSA TYLMAN PRESIDENT 06/03/2021

MIAMI-DADE PROPERTY APPRAISER

According to the MIAMI-DADE PROPERTY APPRAISER, (we ran her office address used on Sunbiz), she and her husband own a home at that location, under the name, you guessed it, Tylman:

ADDRESS: 2030 SW 60TH AVENUE

Owners:

ADAM CERVERA*
TERESSA MARIA TYLMAN
WARRANTY DEED: Signed June 7, 2017

*Adam Cervera is Teressa Tylman’s husband. He is an attorney employed by the law firm of Becker & Poliakoff.

LINKEDIN

According to LinkedIn, at one time Ms. Tylman was employed by the Law Firm Fein & Meloni, under the name, you guessed it again, Tylman:

Teressa Tylman - Fein & Meloni - LinkedIn

FLORIDA VOTER ID CARD

According to her VOTER Registration card, Ms. Tylman is 37 years old, she is registered as a Republican, and she uses the name, you guessed it, Tylman, on her official voter’s ID card.

FLORIDA DRIVERS LICENSE

According to our investigation, the most recent Florida Drivers License issued to Ms. Tylman was issued on February 12, 2022, under T-xxx-xxx-85-552-0. The name on the license, you guessed it, Teressa Maria Tylman. Only eleven days later, Ms. Tylman was changing her name with The Florida Bar, from Tylman to Cervera.

Let me say very clearly that, Ms. Tylman, is not breaking the law. We last exposed the Name Game charade in 2018, when in Broward County, an attorney names Jason Allen (his middle name) Rosner decided to file paperwork to run for Judge under the name Jason Allen-Rosner. The reasoning for the hyphen was all to in your face clear - Rosner did not want to be listed last on the ballot of the four competitors in his race and by changing his name to Allen-Rosner he went from last to first on the ballot.  We have also reported numerous times in Miami-Dade County when a judicial candidate magically gained an Hispanic name, seemingly overnight.

But running for Judge means that one has read and is familiar with the Code of Judicial Conduct. Canon One of the Code discusses INTEGRITY and states that "An ..... honorable judiciary is indispensable to justice in our society. A judge should participate in establishing, maintaining, and enforcing high standards of conduct, and shall personally observe those standards so that the integrity ..... of the judiciary may be preserved."

INTEGRITY, for those of you keeping score at home, is defined as: "the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles".

WHAT IS THE LAW???

We previously spoke with Jesse Dyer, an attorney in the General Counsel's office with the Division of Elections, Florida Department of State, and here is what he told us about the issue of what name they permit to appear on a ballot:

First, there are no Florida Statutes nor Florida Administrative Codes that directly address this issue.

Second, there is an Advisory Opinion issued by the Division of Elections, authored 36 years ago, AO Number 86-06 that primarily addresses "nicknames" appearing on the ballot.

The AO reads, in pertinent part:

" ..... Under common law principles, not abrogated by Florida law, a name consists of one Christian or given name and one surname, patronymic or family name; therefore, the name printed on the ballot ordinarily should be the Christian or given name and surname"..... "However, it has been determined that any name by which a candidate is known is sufficient on a ballot, and a person is legally permitted to have printed on the ballot the name which the candidate has adopted and under which he or she transacts private and official business, 29 C.J.S. Elections §161."

The Advisory Opinion goes on to state that:

"Election officials, however, may be justified in refusing to print on the ballot a candidate's nickname when it is not shown that the nickname ever was used by the candidate as part of his legal name, and such officials may be equally justified in refusing to print on the ballot a candidate's choice of a name which has not been adopted by him or her and under which the candidate has not transacted private and official business. See C.J.S. Elections §161."

For 37 years, Teressa Maria Tylman held herself out as Tylman. When she married her husband, Adam Cervera in 2014, she continued to use the Tylman name for another eight years. But when she decided to run for Circuit Court Judge against Judge Lody Jean, Tess Tylman magically became Teressa Maria Cervera, overnight.

So, there you have it. Maybe it’s time for a change in the law. Or maybe, just maybe, we should expect just a bit more integrity from some of our judicial candidates.**

CAPTAIN OUT .......
Captain4Justice@gmail.com

**Ms. Tylman aka Cervera is invited to email us with an explanation/understanding as to why she decided to change her name with The Florida Bar in February to Cervera. We will print her emailed response on this Blog (with her permission of course).

***The photo above is of the UPS Store located at 6800 Bird Road.  Ms. Tylman aka Cervera has her law office address listed with The Florida Bar, as #444, at that location.

JUDICIAL ELECTIONS 2022 - QUALIFYING WEEK HAS BEGUN - COUNTY COURT RACES

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

QUALIFYING WEEK - PART DEUX - COUNTY COURT .....

COUNTY COURT

In County Court, 13 Incumbents have already filed in their Groups. Judge Edward Newman, in Group 7, is retiring. One attorney, Marcus Bach Armas, has filed to run in that Group. He has yet to draw an opponent, and Mr. Bach Armas is doing everything he can to dissuade anyone from filing against him as he has already raised $136,154 and loaned his campaign another $21,000.

Three Incumbent County Court Judges have opponents. Judge Fred Seraphin, Judge Jeffrey Kolokoff, and Judge Scott Janowitz.

Here is your current line-up for the County Court judicial races.

Group 03         Ayana Harris (I)

Group 05         

Fred Seraphin (I)

Judge Seraphin has paid his Qualifying Fee in the amount of $6,255.08
He has a net worth of $306,179
He has raised $100 from one contributor
He has loaned his campaign $7,166
He is paid $156,377 as a County Court Judge
He was appointed to the bench in 2001 by Gov. Bush. He ran unopposed in 2004 and unopposed again in 2010. In 2016, Milena Abreu ran against him. Seraphin won 50.16% to 49.84%; (he won by 677 votes out of 210,919 cast).
When I first reported on this election back in January, Seraphin was the only Incumbent who had not yet filed for re-election. He is now in catch-up mode as an opponent filed against him on Monday.

Renier Diaz de la Portilla

Mr. De la Portilla filed in this Group on Monday, April 25 and there are no financial documents on file.
He has been a member of The Florida Bar for 14 years.
He runs his own law practice concentrating primarily on criminal defense. He is also a mediator.
He has been a candidate in numerous elections over the course of his lifetime.
He was elected to the Miami-Dade School Board in 1996 at the age of 25 and he served two years.
He was elected in 2000 at age 29 to the Florida House in District 115 in a special election and he served two years. He ran for re-election in 2002 and lost to JC Planas in the primary, 45-43%.
He returned to the School Board from 2006-2012 winning a couple more elections.
In 2012 he ran in House District 103 and lost to Manny Diaz Jr 55-39%.
In 2014 he ran for Circuit Court Judge against Veronica Diaz and he lost 57-43%.
In 2020, he ran for a seat on the Miami-Dade County Commission, District 5, against Eileen Higgins and he lost 53-47%.
If I forgot to mention any of his elections, I am sure Renier can update me in the Comments section.

Group 07        OPEN SEAT - JUDGE NEWMAN RETIRING

Marcus R. Bach Armas 

Attorney Bach has paid his Qualifying Fee.
He has a net worth of $3,673,240 (plus great Dolphins seats).

His annual salary with the Miami Dolphins is $190,663.
He has raised $136,154 from a total of 217 contributors. 
He has loaned his campaign a total of $21,000
He has been a member of The Florida Bar for 13 years. One year at Holland & Knight, one year as a Law Clerk to Fed Judge Gold, and for the past 11 years he has been with the Miami Dolphins now serving as their Senior Director of Legal & Gov’t Affairs.
I believe he is the son of former County Court Judge Mercedes Bach (1995-2008).

Group 08        Carlos H. Gamez (I)

Group 11        Michaelle Gonzalez-Paulson (I)

Group 13        Elisabeth Espinosa (I)

Group 15        Linda Melendez (I)

Group 19     

Jeffrey M. Kolokoff (I)

Judge Kolokoff has paid his Qualifying Fee.
He has a net worth of $2,182,366.

His annual salary as a County Court Judge is $156,377.
He has raised $40,225 from a total of 74 contributors. 
He has loaned his campaign a total of $325,000
He has been a member of The Florida Bar for 15 years. He was appointed to the bench by Gov. DeSantis in April of 2020 and this is his first election. Prior to taking the bench he was an ASA and then worked for the law firm of Beighley, Myrick.
Judge Kolokoff is clearly trying to scare his opponent into another race. Up until March, he had held zero fundraisers and had raised only $13,325. He finally held his first fundraiser just over a month ago and 50 contributors donated a total of $26,900. On March 30th, Kolokoff loaned his campaign $250,000.

Lissette De La Rosa 

Attorney De La Rosa has paid her Qualifying Fee.
She has a net worth of $543,576.

Her annual salary with Heritage Py. & Casualty is $165,979.
She has raised $56,135 from a total of 81 contributors. 
She has NOT loaned her campaign any money.
She has been a member of The Florida Bar for 20 years. Hard to find out much about her law practice. She appears to have previously worked in the area of Estates and Trusts in the Tampa area. She is currently employed by a Clearwater property insurance company, Heritage Property & Casualty, in their Sunrise office.

Group 23        Carroll Kelly (I)

Group 27        Miesha Shonta Darrough (I)

Group 28        Cristina Rivera Correa (I)

Group 35        Chiaka Ihekwaba (I)

Group 39        Julie Harris Nelson (I)

Group 42        

Scott Janowitz (I)

Judge Janowitz has paid his Qualifying Fee.
He has a net worth of $425,000.

His annual salary as a County Court Judge is $156,377.
He has raised $18,750 from a total of 36 contributors. 
He has loaned his campaign a total of $1,000
He has been a member of The Florida Bar for 16 years. He was appointed to the bench by Gov. DeSantis in April of 2020 and this is his first election. Prior to taking the bench he was an ASA in Broward and then worked for the law firm of Geyer, Fuxa.
Up until two weeks ago, Janowitz hadn’t even held a fundraiser. He had only raised $2,800 from 6 contributors. He is way, way behind his opponent in fundraising.

Alicia Garcia Priovolos

Attorney Priovolos has paid her Qualifying Fee.
She has a net worth of $1,816,344.

Her annual salary as an ASA is $94,890.
She has raised $61,865 from a total of 135 contributors. 
She has loaned her campaign $50,000.
She has been a member of The Florida Bar for 16 years, all of that time as an ASA in Miami-Dade County. She is married to former ASA and current criminal defense attorney John Priovolos.

You don't want to miss our column on Wednesday - we promise, you won't be disappointed.

CAPTAIN OUT .......
Captain4Justice@gmail.com

JUDICIAL ELECTIONS 2022 - QUALIFYING WEEK HAS BEGUN - CIRCUIT COURT RACES

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

QUALIFYING WEEK - UN-MASKED EDITION (Masked, for Rumpole) .....

It comes around every two years and your trusted El Capitan is here to bring you all the news. Qualifying week runs from Monday, April 25 - Friday, April 29 at NOON. Today we bring you the latest in the Circuit Court races.

CIRCUIT COURT:

Elections for Judge in Miami-Dade County take place on August 23, 2022.  Currently there are a total of 23 Groups up for election in Circuit Court.

In Circuit Court, all 23 Incumbents have already filed in their respective Groups. Three Incumbent Judges face opposition. They include Judge Lody Jean, Judge Robert Watson, and Judge Mark Blumstein.

Here is your current line-up for the judicial races. (I) stands for Incumbent

CIRCUIT COURT

Group 3

Lody Jean (I)

Judge Jean has paid her Qualifying Fee in the amount of $6,620.36
According to her Financial Documents, she has a Net Worth of $578,512
She is paid $164,909 as a Circuit Court Judge
She has raised $110,734 from a total of 278 contributors. 
She has loaned her campaign a total of $50,000
Judge Jean is a former ASA. She was appointed to the bench by Gov. DeSantis in April of 2020 and this is her first election.

Teressa Maria Cervera

Attorney Cervera has paid her Qualifying Fee.
She filed to run on April 14 and there are zero Financial Documents in her file.
She has been a Member of The Florida Bar for 11 years but I could not find out anything about her law practice when checking online

Group  4        Christina Marie DiRaimondo (I)

Group  6        Laura Shearon Cruz (I)

Group  9        Marcia del Rey (I)

Group  10 Scott M Bernstein (I)

Group  12 Bertila Ana Soto (I)

Group  16 Tom "Tomas" Rebull (I)

Group  20

Robert T. Watson (I)

Judge Watson has paid his Qualifying Fee in the amount of $6,620.36
He has not yet filed any of his Financial Documents
He has raised $109,678 from a total of 266 contributors. 
He has loaned his campaign a total of $50,000
Judge Watson has worn many hats. Steel Hector, Holland & Knight, AUSA (for 5 years), Kobre & Kim. He was appointed to the County Court bench in January of 2019 by Gov Rick Scott as one of Scott's last appointments. He was then elevated to the Circuit Court in December of 2019 by Gov. DeSantis. This will be his first election campaign.

Brenda Gitchev Guerrero

Attorney Guerrero has not yet paid her Qualifying Fee.
She filed to run on January 24 and there are zero Financial Documents in her file.
She has been a Member of The Florida Bar for 16 years.
She runs a private practice specializing in Family law. She is a former ASA where she worked in the Child Support Division.

Group  26 William I. Altfield (I)

Group  28 Jennifer D. Bailey (I)

Group  32 Barbara Areces (I)

Group  34

Mark Blumstein (I)

Judge Blumstein has paid his Qualifying Fee in the amount of $6,620.36
He has not yet filed any of his Financial Documents
He has raised $160,263 from a total of 301 contributors. 
He has loaned his campaign a total of $60,000
Judge Blumstein ran for the Circuit Court bench in 2016 in a four way contest. In the primary he came in first ahead of attorney Luis Perez-Medina. In the general election he defeated Perez-Medina 51% to 49%. This will be his second election campaign.

Ariel Rodriguez

Attorney Rodriguez has paid his Qualifying Fee in the amount of $6,620.36
According to his Financial Documents, he has a Net Worth of $1,606,772
He is paid $156,854 by the U.S.D.O.J.
He has been a Member of The Florida Bar for 23 years.
He is employed by DOJ, Office of the US Trustee as a trial attorney in Bankruptcy court.
He has raised $38,542 from a total of 134 contributors. 
He has loaned his campaign a total of $4,833

Group  39 David H Young (I)

Group  40 William Thomas (I)

Group  41 Milton "Milt" Hirsch (I)

Group  45 Samantha Ruiz Cohen (I)

Group  46 Ramiro C. Areces (I)

Group  52 Oscar Rodriguez-Fonts (I)

Group  59 Nushin G. Sayfie (I)

Group  62 Gina Beovides (I)

Group  63 Marlene A. Fernandez-Karavetsos (I)

Group  64 Zachary N. James (I)

Group  74 George "Jorge" A. Sarduy (I)

Tomorrow - County Court .....

CAPTAIN OUT .......
Captain4Justice@gmail.com

THE ANTI UNIVERSE

 Longtime and careful readers of this blog know our fondness for cosmology. (True story. Waiting for a hearing many years ago we were reading a book -before kindle's existed, and a judge walked by in robes and stopped to chat. Judge:  "What are you reading? " Rumpole: "A book on cosmology." Dumb Judge:  "Hmm... never thought you would be interested in makeup and nails. Do you own a beauty parlor?" ... Rumpole: "Yeah, something like that."), 

There may well be an anti-universe.

To understand what that means, it is important to understand a few cosmological questions like, what happened before and just after the Big Bang and what is dark matter made of besides the oft speculated "full and complete discovery in a federal criminal case" ?

A new paper published recently in the Annals of Physics attempts to answer those questions in a simple and elegant way. 

Currently, physicists think there was a period of rapid expansion after the initial moments (well less than a second) of the Big Bang when all the matter in the universe rapidly expanded.* It took some time for that expansion to cool off and slow down, and that's all well and good except we are now fairly certain that the expansion will never stop. The universe will continue to slowly expand for eternity (or until Bill Belichick- the evil genuis-  retires, whichever comes first) making everything in the Universe farther and farther away from each other, which has ominous implications for our morning Starbucks run a few billion years from now. 

But what if, the new paper theorizes, there was not a rapid expansion/inflation period? What if from the moment of inception the universe just uniformly expanded and is continuing on it's merry way like a County Court Judge denying continuances at a calendar call? 

 If that was the case, then the existence of an "Anti-Universe" would help explain matters. Imagine at the moment of the Big Bang the formation of two universes... ours and one the complete opposite, running backward in time. In order to contemplate this, imagine jumping on a trampoline. The first time you land and the trampoline goes down and then up is the big bang. And you going up is our universe expanding. But the after effects on the trampoline as you leave it and go up is the Anti-Universe. 

The Anti-Universe would help explain the existence of dark matter. Dark matter would be made up of right-handed neutrinos, which are the counterpart to a new left-handed neutrino that would exist in the backward running universe. It would create a more elegant beginning to our universe. It's existence would be the opposite and equal reaction to the Big Bang. 

An Anti-Universe where time runs backward. Admittedly, it is kind of difficult to think about and comprehend until you remember this.....

Hialeah!

Then it all makes perfect sense. 

Proof of the Anti-Universe:

* It is a fundamental concept that at the moment of the big bang all matter in the universe existed. Which means at that moment, the building blocks for what would become Gangham Style by Psy existed. Not to mention Sarah Palin and Pete Davidson and every designated hitter. It's a deeply troubling thought. 

WHY WE WEAR A MASK

 The novelist-philosopher Ayn Rand is the reason why we wear a mask and will continue to wear a mask despite an ABA rated "non-qualified" federal judge/Trump appointee from the middle district of Florida (naturally) deciding that people should not be required to wear masks on public transportation. 

Ms. Rand, an emigree from Russia, who through her all-time best-selling novels outlined her philosophy of Objectivism, credited the fundamentals of Objectivism to Aristotle and the logical proposition     that "A is A". 

What that simple statement means is that reality cannot be changed despite a person's deepest desire to do so. 

The first A in this case is Covid variant Omicron. It exists. It is more transmissible than the original Covid19 virus and it is sweeping the country. The second A is that masks prevent the transmission of Omicron. 

So while we are virus-tired, and "so over this" the fact remains that people die everyday from this virus and that if you do not wear a mask in crowded, in-door public places like courtrooms, airplanes, elevators, movie-theaters and the like, you will get sick, and some of you will die. 

It just will not be us. 

Imagine you are in the hospital. You are having difficulty breathing and the doctor wants to place you on a ventilator.  You cannot get better and increase your O2 levels by telling the doctor "but a judge said it was OK to not wear a mask."

"Oh, wait! If I judge said you don't have to wear a mask on a plane, then you must be ok. Try taking a deeper breath. It cannot be covid."

Yes it can. Because A is A. 

For more on this and other information on Objectivism, try reading "The Virtue of Selfishness" and  "Philosophy Who needs it?"

NO TIES

 As summer approaches, we renew our plea/rant against ties and jackets in the middle of the summer in South Florida, on a planet that is overheating. 

Zoom has shown us that lawyers can attend court virtually without the entire justice system collapsing because of a perceived lack of respect for the court. Some lawyers, like Rumpole, attend a zoom hearing in jacket and tie and shoes shined. Other lawyers attend zoom from their car in a golf shirt. 

Somehow, the dignity of the court has survived and justice marches on. 

There is NO reason to require a person, when it is 95 degrees out with 100% humidity, to trudge into a courtroom wearing a JACKET and a tie. Think about that- judges make some lawyers- not all- wear a jacket. The determining factor is the gender of the lawyer. One gender can dress in a cool and appropriate manner while still maintaining a professional look. The other gender must wear a jacket and tie. 

Does this sound reasonable to you? 

Can someone defend the current practice, because we cannot. 

A PASSOVER CONSTITUTIONAL CALENDAR

 He reads and rhapsodizes over the Constitution and related stories. 

It's Judge Hirsch's Passover Constitutional Calendar. 

The evening of Friday, April 14, 1865, was the fifth day of the Jewish holiday of Pesach, or Passover; and was of course the beginning of Shabbat, or the Sabbath.  Only days earlier, Lee had surrendered to Grant at Appomattox.  In Cincinnati, Rabbi Max Lilienthal’s sermon for the evening drew the obvious parallel between the deliverance of Jews from slavery in Egypt and the deliverance of Blacks from slavery in America.  “Four years ago,” he asked, “how many of us were Abolitionists?  How many of us dreamt of the possibility that this sacred soil of liberty should be cleansed from the scourge of slavery?  How many of us had the moral courage enough to think that this great stain could be or should be removed from the brilliant escutcheon of the American people?”

The theme was taken up in synagogues across the nation that Friday evening.  And not just in synagogues: April 14 was Good Friday, and many church-goers heard similar sermons.

Of course not everyone went to church or synagogue that evening.  

President and Mrs. Lincoln went to the theater. 

Rumpole says, moral of the story is sometimes it's better to have a Seder, or a Shabbat dinner, or go to a Good Friday service  than see a play. 

USFL ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW

 Today marks the start of ten weeks, 40 games, eight teams, April 16-June 19 with the Championship game on July 3. 

As an all inclusive blog that does not just focus on the footnotes in the appendices to the legislative history to the Jencks Act and erudite missives  on Anti-trust issues,  (like you know who), we bring you posts on all that matters to a full and satisfying existence. Including spring football. 

All your favourites are back: NJ Generals, Tampa Bay Bandits, Philly Stars⭐, Miami Meek Robinettes (not really). 

All games will be played in the new Fun-Sin City of the South- Birmingham, Alabama! (Really).  Pass the grits and wings and put on the game!

Fox and NBC will stream the games on platforms, including Saturday night's opener @7:30 PM between the Generals and The Birmingham Stallions on both networks at the same time! Imagine that!  Sort of like the State of The Union address, but with forward passes and blitzes. 

Something new: Three Point Conversions from the ten yard line! (Really). 

Overtime will start with a quick Jeopardy-Like quiz in which captains from each team will compete to answer questions from non-sports topics like "!2 letter words"; "Supreme Court Clerks who became Justices" and "Federal Sentencing Guidelines" : "this controlled substance which is rapidly becoming legal in many states where it can be ingested as a gummie, is used as a baseline for converting certain drugs into amounts for guideline purposes..." - "Umm.. What is Marijuana?" "Correct!" (Not really). 

The winner gets the ball first. Answering a daily double correctly gets the ball at the fifty yard line.  (Really not really). 

Instead of an onsides kick, teams can try to convert a 4th and 12. (Really). 

Players get $4,500 a week (More than a Florida State Circuit Judge) and $850.00 bonuses for wins (which neither ASAs or PDs get, but that would open a hornet's nest, wouldn't it?). 

Baseball it is not....but then nothing ever is baseball. 

Happy holiday weekend. 

Coming tomorrow- Lincoln, Passover, and a Hirsch Constitutional Calendar you do not want to miss. 

NOW HE BELONGS TO THE AGES

 Two different parts to this post. Stay with us. 

On April 15, 1865, at 7:22 a.m., (some reports 7:21 a.m. but we give him an extra moment of life) our greatest president died of wounds from an assassin. As part of his cabinet huddled around his bedside, Edward Stanton, the secretary of war, said "Now he belongs to the ages" as Lincoln took his last measured breath. (There is an alternate version of Staton saying "now he belongs to the angels" but we like ages better, as it is in fact where Lincoln belongs). 

There is something uniquely American about Abraham Lincoln. Self-taught; from dirt poverty; a life of continued failed ventures; never rich- an everyman (and woman's) struggle to provide for a family; a wife suffering from depression; Lincoln's brilliance would not let him fail. Prior to the presidency, he was not from a powerful family like the Roosevelts or Kennedys. He was not a hero on the battlefield like Grant or Eisenhower or Teddy Roosevelt, or George HW Bush.  But Lincoln's genius for the written and spoken word would not let him fail. In 1860 he engaged in a series of debates with Stephen Douglas, challenging the Democrat Douglas for his senate seat. Lincoln narrowly lost the election 54-46 as the State legislature voted for senators at that time. But Lincoln's performance, his words (he first spoke "A house divided cannot stand" in his acceptance speech for the Republican nomination for senate) and his uniqueness,  propelled him to the forefront of the nation's conscience as the leader of the anti-slavery movement. In a uniquely American turn of events, his loss in the senate race propelled him to the presidency. 

In the White House, he lost a child, won a war and saved the Nation. No president endured the tragedies Lincoln did. His leadership and wisdom endures, and he does in fact, belong to the ages. When the North captured a British ship supplying the South, and England threatened war unless their sailors were released, Lincoln quietly ordered them released, saying "One war at a time." We reflect on that decision often, when in the heat of a trial or defense, clients or prosecutors attempt to open a second front. 

When the first reports of casualties at the battle of Antietam came in - 23,000 in a force of 100,000- the deadliest day in American History, Lincoln, stunned, muttered "What will the nation say?" And yet, he endured, singularly carrying a nation on his back unlike any leader before him and something never repeated until Churchill and now Ukranian President Zelensky. In an ending that can only be described as Biblical, having won the war, Lincoln, like Moses, was denied entry into the promised land of peace.  

He is our greatest president, the greatest American, one of the great if not greatest figures from all of recorded time. Lincoln is the best example of the man meeting the moment, and he truly belongs to the ages. 

NO PAPER IN JAIL

We cannot end this post without commenting on the endless chatter on certain listservs we are morally if not legally prevented from mentioning in public (See The Rumpole Cannot Talk About Us Act, Fla. Stat. et. seq). 

Lawyers are now slowly realizing that they cannot bring paper into local jails. Something we posted about here  A Problem With Paper, a month ago (March 17). 

Lawyers cannot bring paper into jails because unscrupulous individuals are sending paper products like books and greeting cards laced with liquid drugs into jails. 

OK- we get that. The jails need to be careful. BUT please explain why lawyers cannot bring laptops and iPads into jails? The electronics cannot be laced with anything. What is the absolute worst that can happen? A lawyer will show a client a news article posted on the Fox website? Really? The jail needs to stop inmates from reading on TMZ that Ben and JLo went for coffee at Starbucks yesterday and were seen holding hands and sipping matching lattes?  "Warden we have a big problem! A lawyer showed an inmate a video of Chris Rock being slapped!" "OMG! Order a total lockdown. Condition RED!"

Think about it. Prosecutors send discovery digitally. Lawyers cannot bring the paper discovery into the jail and cannot show our clients the digital version. So we are left with using our imaginative description's of the discovery: 

"Close your eyes, imagine a video of you, entering a warehouse, it's wired, there are cameras on the walls. You have a hundred thousand dollars in a small satchel. The seller pulls out a brick of white powder from a Publix bag. In the background Glenn Frey's Smuggler's Blues plays on a radio: 

You've got to carry weapons
'Cause you always carry cash
There's lots of shady characters
Lots of dirty deals

Every name's an alias
In case somebody squeals
It's the lure of easy money
It's got a very strong appeal

You get the idea. 

The F. .DL (name we are not allowed to say)  is on this. They are shocked, shocked! to find out there is a problem. A committee has been formed. Emails (which we never see) are flying back and forth. A meeting has been demanded with the Jail. The jail has appointed a corrections officer six months on the job to meet with the committee ("I'm not even allowed to have a handcuff key yet, what do you want me to do?") 

Prediction: Nothing will happen. It is way too dangerous to allow the possibility of an inmate getting unauthorized access to Judgesgonewild.com to allow electronics into a jail. 

Happy Passover, Good Friday and Easter. 

UKRAINE DESTROYS THE MOSCOW

 Two Ukrainian Neptune Anti-ship missiles hit and damaged The Moscow, the Russian's Black Sea Flag ship. The ammunition deck is on fire and all hands have abandoned the ship. The Moscow was the destroyer flag ship of the Russian Black Sea fleet. She fired cruise missiles into Ukraine and now she is headed for the bottom. 

The Moscow before she was hit with two missiles

She is the largest warship to be destroyed by enemy action since WWII.  This is an enormous blow to the prestige and capability of the Russian Navy. 

Prior to the Moscow being hit, she attacked a Ukrainian force on a Ukrainian Island and in a radio exchange demanded the soldiers surrender. The soldiers responded "Go Fuck Yourself Russian Warship!" Somewhere, General Anthony McAuliffe, the General at Bastone when the 101 airborne was surrounded in December, 1944, is smiling. When the German commander asked for his surrender, General McAuliffe replied: "From the American Commander, Bastogne, to the German Commander: NUTS!". 

What we are seeing is a repeat of the lessons of history- a big and well equipped but unmotivated army is no match for a smaller, well trained and highly motivated army. At the start of WWII Germany had the largest and most professional army in the world. A bunch of young men, citizen soldiers, from the cities and plains of the United States put on a uniform, learned to shoot a rifle, and emerged victorious. Two hundred and fifty thousand British men, their country facing imminent invasion, went to Egypt and defeated Germany's best tank divisions and their most brilliant general, while 18 and 19 year old pilots dueled and beat the Luftwaffe over the skies of their country. 

As we marvel at the bravery and courage of the Ukrainians, the words of Winston Spencer Churchill ring true once again: Never was so much owed by so many to so few. 

Well done Ukraine. Well done indeed. 

CODE BLUE

UPDATE: One pain in the rear in the comments sections is freaking out that if there is a fire in the building, people won't leave because they have read the blog and will say to themselves "Rumpole said a fire is part of code brown and that means shelter in place and even though we are right near an exit and the fire has engulfed the hallway, rather than take the obvious way to safety we will follow some stupid blog that was obviously a parody and stay here and die."

Please do not do that. 

Let's be clear- if there is a fire, GET OUT. Don't hide in the jury room, or under the judge's desk, or shelter in a restroom or get in an elevator. Use the stairs. There are fire exits at both ends of the hallway. This includes the scenario of an airplane being flown into the building by terrorists and the building catching fire. Get out. Do not stay in your beloved REGJB. We hope that is clear.

 Here's a quick REGJB quiz testing your REGJB knowledge: 

A life-threatening emergency in the REGJB is known as 

[  ] Code Blue 

[ ] Code Brown 

[ ] Code Red 

[ ] Code Judge Meek Robinette

The answer is Code Brown.

Code Brown includes a fire, an active shooter, or other dire life threatening events. 

What codes should be assigned to non-life threatening events? 

We have some suggestions: 

Code Green: In the unlikely event all escalators and elevators are working at the same time. 

Code Orange: Building Inspectors have determined that the REGJB is in imminent danger of collapsing. 

Code Purple: A Judge has read a FLW cover to cover.

Code Yellow: A civil lawyer is seen in the building. Rumpole notes that if you a see a civil lawyer, don't panic and  feed it or engage it in conversation, especially about any accident. Stand back, stay quiet, the civil lawyer will snoop around with its beady little eyes, and having satisfied itself that there is no potential client, the civil lawyer will move along at its own pace. Remember, the civil lawyer is most likely more afraid of you than you are of them.  In an emergency, you can throw a few dollars in the opposite direction you wish to go and then quickly and quietly retreat. 

Code Black: The Judge who makes Cafecito in the afternoon is either off, out, or her machine is broken. 

Code Pink: A City of Hialeah Police Officer testifies truthfully. It is anticipated this code will never be used. 

 Code Blue: In the unlikely event a prosecutor does not say "victim wants the max" or in the even more unlikely event that the prosecutor says they are offering a plea the victim does not agree to, a code blue will be announced. The Courtroom will be locked until the media arrives so the proceedings can be recorded for posterity. The last time this occurred, in 1974, there was no way to record the event and the reporting  in an article by the Miami News has been lost. 

NO MIDDLE GROUND

 There was Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. DOM, Star Wars Nerd (SWN) could tell you that and more. We puzzled over what to name this post, the last two movie titles being most apropos. Instead we went with another pun on the SDFL Judge who is rapidly becoming our favourite. 

When we last left Judge Middlebrooks, minding his own business in WPB, doing what federal judges do, he had been assigned the political hot potato of Trump v. Clinton.  As he geared up for the case management orders that we hear flood in on civil cases, he was asked to recuse himself because be was appointed during the presidency of William Jefferson Clinton.  Bill Clinton is  married to Hillary Clinton, defendant herein, therefore any non-vaccinated person storming the capitol could connect the dots. 

But in stepped Judge M, with a well-reasoned order DENYING the motion to recuse, and in the most judicial way possible, calling the plaintiff in the case a moron. We are hard on judges, rightfully so.  But when a judge does something we could never do, like write an order like this, we throw up our hands in surrender. We are bested. We could never have written this. 

Our favourite part? There are so many. There is this slap to the head footnote: 

3 I note that Plaintiff filed this lawsuit in the Fort Pierce division of this District, where only one federal judge sits: Judge Aileen Cannon, who Plaintiff appointed in 2020. Despite the odds, this case landed with me instead. And when Plaintiff is a litigant before a judge that he himself appointed, he does not tend to advance these same sorts of bias concerns. See, e.g., Donald J. Trump v. Wisc. Elections Comm’n, No. 20-cv-1785 (E.D. Wis. 2020) (Judge Brett Ludwig); Donald J. Trump for President, Inc., et al., v. Sec. of Commonwealth of Pa., No. 20-cv-3371 (3d Cir. 2020) (Judge Stephanos Bibas); Comm. on Ways and Means, U.S. House of Representatives v. U.S. Dep’t of the Treasury, No. 19-cv-01974 (D.D.C. 2019) (Judge Trevor McFadden). 

There was this judicious footnote that one of the four cases cited in the motion to recuse actually supports the conclusion that Judge M should not recuse himself: 

4 In the first case he cites, Hamm v. Members of Bd. of Regents of Fla., the Eleventh Circuit held that a district court judge did not exhibit bias sufficient to warrant recusal based on certain statements he made at trial. See 709 F.2d 647, 651 (11th Cir. 1983) (“This is not a case in which the judge openly exhibited ‘a partisan zeal’ for the defendants or ‘stepped down from the bench to assume the role of advocate’ on the defendants’ behalf.”); see also Davis v. Bd. of Sch. Com’rs of Mobile Cnty, 517 F.2d 1044, 1051 (11th Cir. 1975) (same). Neither case discussed whether judicial appointment by a party, without more, would cause a reasonable person to suspect bias on the part of the presiding judge. And Bivens Gardens emphasized that, to establish bias justifying disqualification, a party must demonstrate “such pervasive bias and prejudice that it constitutes bias against a party”—a showing that certainly has not been made here. 140 F.3d 898, 914 (11th Cir. 1998).

Quite frankly we would have written: "Hey! Idiot- try reading cases before you cite them in a motion." But then again, we do not possess the judicial wisdom and temperament of Judge M. 

And there was this concluding peroration:

When I became a federal judge, I took an oath to “faithfully and impartially discharge and perform all duties . . . under the Constitution and laws of the United States.” 28 U.S.C. § 453. I have done so for the last twenty-five years, and this case will be no different. 

Wow! Well Done Judge Middlebrooks! Well Done Indeed!. 

The full order 

Clinton by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

SPRING WEEKEND

   This is one of the spring weekends we like the most. 

Baseball is finally open and the soothing sounds of bats on balls and balls smacking into leather gloves once again soothes our covid19 tortured soul. Even Judge Hirsch, as his beloved Cubs race to the basement, is still full of hope this opening weekend. You never know. 

Sunday is Palm Sunday. We love a good Palm Sunday. It's a welcoming event. It celebrates Jesus being welcomed into Jerusalem. We were welcomed into the REGJB a little less reverently when we first arrived. More like a stranger in a strange land. However we celebrate inclusiveness. 

Speaking of inclusiveness, we find ourselves this weekend, once again, in Augusta, Georgia, a sleepy little town of small-town America strip-malls and Olive Garden and Carrabba  Italian restaurants, and a Courtyard by Marriott just off I-20 and down the road from the most iconic golf tournament in the world, known for its exclusiveness. This weekend, like every Masters weekend, the Azaleas are in magnificent bloom and the golf course is perfection. The place is abuzz with Tiger Woods who is making a Ben Hogan* like comeback to golf at the highest levels. Those Judges and lawyers born during the age of Starbucks have no idea what any of this means, and we don't care. 

What if the old REGJB was run like the Augusta National Golf Club? 

Invitation only. You can't ask to join Augusta, you have to be invited. If you ask you will never get an invitation.  Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was surprised one day to receive an invitation. She accepted. 

No cell phones allowed. 

The people who attend this weekend are called "Patrons" not customers or fans. 

The menu is simple and cheap, headlined by the famous Pimento Cheese Sandwich which costs $1.50. The recipe is a guarded secret. 

Pimento cheese Sandwich in the traditional Master's green wrapper. 

 The egg salad is $1.50;  the  ham and cheese is $3.00. The most expensive items on the menu is a beer for $5.00 or  a while wine for $6.00. Going to the Masters should be on any fan's bucket list. The most coveted souvenir is a seven inch tall beverage cup. People paw through the garbage to get one. The NY Times did an article on the cup. 

Bad behavior is not tolerated. There is no shouting "in the hole!" when the player hits a tee shot 450 yards from the hole. No shouting "you da man!" or "baba-booey". Any such hooliganism will result in your admission privileges being revoked. 

The conduct code doesn't just apply to fans. In 1994 CBS golf commentator Gary McCord called the Augusta National's greens fast (which they are) and opined that they were groomed "with bikini wax". McCord quipped that some mounds behind some greens reminded him of "body bags".  The powers that be at Augusta were listening. Several months later it was announced that the chairman of the club had informed CBS that Mr. McCord would not be welcomed back because of "distasteful comments."

In 1966 CBS commentator Jack Whittaker was calling a playoff at the Masters. People surged towards the 18th hole. Whittaker said on TV "here comes the mob." That was that. The Master's chairman huffed that it was not a mob, and Whittaker was banned. This story has a happy ending. Whittaker was given a ticket for admission by a CBS executive five years later. During that same tournament a CBS announcer fell ill, and the same chairman who had banned Whittaker asked him for help. Whittaker took the mike and called Master tournaments for the next ten years. 

Will Smith slapped Chris Rock on worldwide TV and was banned from the Oscars for ten years. Gary McCord quipped about fast greens and he was banned for life. 

 All caddies wear a white jump suit that must be returned at the end of the tournament. The champion gets a coveted green jacket and hid caddie gets to keep his jump suit with his name on the back. 

The tournament is invitation only. All former champions are qualified to play for life. Players who win other tournaments during the year are qualified to play, and the club may invite any other player to compete as well. All invitations are personalized letters that arrive in the mail and each one requests an RSVP. Phil Mickelson, a former champion, famously declined his invitation to play this year, still smarting from in inadvisable dabbling in opening a competing tour in Saudi Arabia, which imploded under the weight of the Saudis abuse of women, minorities, and the LGBTQ community. 

There is something special about the back nine at Augusta, especially on a Sunday. Before Tiger, there was Jack Nicklaus, the Golden Bear. His Sunday back-nine charges, starting at "Amen Corner", the three most beautiful golf holes in the world, are legendary and awe inspiring. 

In 2019, trying for his first comeback,  Tiger was down two to Fancisco Molinari as Molinari approached the twelfth on Sunday.  Molinari put his shot into Ray's Creek. Tiger, born for this type of pressure, landed his ball gently on the green. He made par, while Franciso double boogied and they  walked off 12 tied for the lead. 

 

 There is much wrong with the genteel old south. You will not read us wax poetic about good old days gone by. We know the Augusta National Golf club did not admit women and minorities for many years. That was wrong.

But there is a level of quiet culture that we like. The food is good and reasonable. People are friendly. No one's head is buried in a cell phone because they are not allowed. We like being a patron - it is so much better than being a fan at a dolphin game with the sweating and swearing masses clamoring for twenty-dollar beers. 

For one weekend during the year, class wins out. 

* Ben Hogan had what was considered the best golf swing of all time. Ok, we can debate  his swing versus Byron Nelson's swing.  Hogan was a diminutive Texan who practiced his swing until his hands bled. In 1948 he won ten tournaments, a record that still stands today. In 1949, driving home from a tournament, Hogan's car was hit head on by a Greyhound bus. He threw himself over his wife to save her, and that may have save him. He had two pelvic fractures, a broken collarbone, broken ribs, a broken ankle, and near fatal blood clots. He was in the hospital 59 days. By all accounts he needed to learn to walk again. Golf was out of the question. And yet...in 1950 he came back to win his second US Open Title. In 1951 he won the Masters, the US Open and the World Golf Championship (later called the PGA). Hogan won a total of twelve more tournaments after his injury, all of them limping in pain.  In 1953, at his one and only appearance at a British Open, and having never played links golf, he won the tournament and returned to a ticker tape parade in NYC.  Whatever Tiger does after his accident, not matter how inspiring, he will never reach the level of greatness that Ben Hogan achieved. 

NO MIDDLING THE CLINTON LAWSUIT

Former President #45 and his Trump High Powered * Legal Team (hereinafter THPLT) who are suing former secretary of State Hillary Clinton in the SDFL (because it's a Miami thing) have moved to recuse Judge Middlebrooks because ....wait for it...he was appointed by President Clinton, the husband (gasp) of the defendant in the case. 

Naturally, we have some thoughts. 

First, it took a lot of high-powered maneuvering by Bill Gates, the Tri-Lateral Commission, the Georgia Secretary of State, and certain Pizza establishments in Washington, DC to get the complaint to be assigned to Judge Middlebrooks to begin with. Does the *THPLT team think that they can just get Judge Middlebrooks off the case because they smell a rat? Not in the name of the Fake Moon Landings, not to mention the Arizona Secret Stuffed Ballot Initiative ASS-B-I. 

Remember this is the same Judge Middlebrooks that the THPLT believes was dinning with President Biden at Camp David just before the blockbuster lawsuit was filed. **

Now interestingly,  the members of the THPLT are not composed of any of the other lawyers who filed lawsuits challenging the election results in the last election due to the fact that all of those lawyers are facing hefty fines for their frivolous filings and/or are being investigated for ethical violations,  including the basic ethical rule all law students are taught on the first day of law school: "I will not advance any cause on behalf of clients who are batshit crazy."  (Pardon our use of technical legal terms, but this is after all a legal blog so just try and bear with us). 

We have included the powerhouse motion filed by THPLT, but exclusive to this blog, we also  have the checklist for the other reasons to disqualify Judge Middlebrooks that the THPLT considered, but ultimately abandoned: 

1) Judge Middlebrooks may be of Mexican descent because one of his ancestors was known as El Middlebrooks;  2) from the years 2008-2016 Judge Middlebrooks worked in a courthouse that had a picture of Barack Obama in the lobby; 3) Judge Middlebrooks likes catsup on his french fries and so does Joe Biden AND so does Hillary Clinton; 4) Judge Middlebrooks was overheard laughing when the former president recommended at a news conference that people drink bleach to kill the covid19 virus;  and 5) Judge Middlebrooks has been frequently seen wearing a mask!!. 

We also have an exclusive story that the THPLT tried, at the request of their client, to file their lawsuit in the Supreme Court, but gave up after the Supreme Court clerks who answered their phone call couldn't stop laughing when the THPLT asked for directions on how to file their suit directly with the court. 

* NOT.  You try writing that with a straight face. 

** But that never happened. They are just loopy. 

gov.uscourts.flsd.610157.21.0 by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

CRUZ JURY SELECTION BEGINS TODAY

 The jury selection for the penalty phase for Nikolas Cruz, who murdered seventeen people, many of them his classmates whilst at school in Parkland, Broward County, begins today, 

How long will it take to select a jury? The judge has set aside three weeks.  15 in-court days. We are picking the over.  Seventeen murders. Seventeen attempted murders. The evidence to prove aggravating factors for each murder will be difficult for even the most hardened lawyer to endure. The penalty phase should take at least two months, including the testimony of the survivors. 

The obstacles in selecting a jury are daunting.

The pretrial publicity is overwhelming. 

There will be a significant number of jurors who will most likely say the murder of multiple children at their school requires the imposition of the death penalty regardless of the mitigating factors, 

There will be jurors who will not be able to serve for the time it will take to try the sentencing phase of this case. 

This case is a nightmare on so many fronts. 

Query: did the defense make a correct tactical decision in having their client plead guilty to the murders and attempted murders?

One tidbit- this case will most likely be the final curtain call in the career of Mike Satz, the long-time state attorney for Broward County. 

FEDERAL COURT MYSTERY

 The Wilkie Ferguson Courthouse has thirteen floors of Federal Court Judges dispensing justice as the good lord and/or President Trump saw fit to allow them to do. (No Biden appointees yet, right?).

Thirteen floors of fun and frivolity, right? 

Then why this sign? 

What in the name of Bill Gates tracking chips is going on here? 

A fourteenth floor?

Well, we had to see it. So we got into the elevator, and this is what we saw:

No fourteen

This is a riddle wrapped in a mystery. 

The fourteenth floor in the federal courthouse has just become our Area 51.