Of all the mistakes we could make whilst arguing a case this, most assuredly, is NOT one of them.
“Listen, you’re not understanding the issue. Try reading the briefs and not your clerk’s notes….” Yeah, that could happen.
And
“I understand your confusion, having not read any of the cases I have cited …” Sure, that might slip out.
But this mistake? NEVER ever ever.
There was some confusion about courts being open Thursday July 3 with Governor Detain Immigrant Children closing state offices. It appears Courts are open. Ask for a Jury. Don’t waive speedies.
The big beautiful bill is being debated in the senate on Monday, Of the many many many problems (like paying for tax cuts by reducing health insurance for about 11 million Americans by making it nearly impossible to qualify and stay insured) are not only the canceling of tax cuts for wind and solar energy but the actual tax increases on those industries. Why is this so important? We are in the midst of a third revolution- AI. And AI runs on vast data centers that consume enormous amounts of power. The centers can be powered by wind and solar energy, but now we are removing that option.
How much power are we talking about? By 2030 data centers alone will require more electricity than what is now consumed in the US for all manufacturing. So naturally the geniuses in DC want to cripple our ability to cleanly and cheaply produce that energy. Smart.
Also, skip those shots. Flu. Covid. Measles. Mumps? Fake news. Cod liver oil cures all. Here’s a heart warming story on why no one needs the measles shot anymore(note that this is sarcasm.) Measles is now killing Americans. Something that we would have never said or written in 1960, 1970, 1980, 1990, 2000, 2010, and 2020. But this is 2025 and we are speeding towards the dark ages as fast as many in Washington can take us, Prayer cures all- until your appendix bursts and you need a surgeon but won’t agree to her wearing a mask during surgery (masks don’t work right?) or giving you anesthesia full of drugs you haven’t researched.
Two sad stories.
First, the U of Virginia caved to blackmail and fired their very popular and talented university president to resolve a Justice Department investigation. The crime- U of V did not sufficiently dismantle its DEI programs expanding inclusivity in the college experience, thus violating, in the view of DOJ cretins prosecutors, the 1964 Civil Rights Act. The DOJ demanded the resignation of President Jim Ryan to settle the investigation., Truly Orwellian. The article is here.
And here is the sad story of the son of Moroccan immigrants whose parents cannot accept his sexuality.We have a take on the end of the op ed piece which we will share later after you have read the story which is here,
YOUR MONDAY FUNDAY Brain teaser.
Four men are in a room.
Barack is reading a book.
Joe is playing chess.
Bill is texting on his phone.
What is the fifth man doing?
(Donald is absent, playing golf).
This is a plea. Maybe it can be dismissed as a plea made by a grumpy Non-Gen X,Y,Z,A male blogger. But maybe you should pause a moment and consider it.
First, what we are not asking. Keep your phone on whilst waiting for your case to be called in court. The Judge is playing candy crush on her screen on the bench, so there is no reason why you should not be trying to advance to the next level.
Keep your phone on during that bad Hinge date because maybe you get a Tinder match and can hook up once you ditch Mr. I’m getting an MBA to work at Goldman Sachs and then in twenty years I’m going to use my Art History Degree to open a Bed and Breakfast in Bend, Oregon and decorate it in post modern 1870’s Egyptian Street Art, or Ms. I left my job at an advertising firm and make 40K a month as a food and bar influencer for NYC concentrating on FIDI so please take my IG and Tik Tok…
We get it. You need your phone. We all do.
Flash back to last year. Rumpole is blissfully wandering through the Van Gogh exhibit at the Met in NYC on Fifth Avenue. We are a member so we don’t wait in lines. In the galleries there are an overwhelming number of tourists. We can tell by the foreign languages they are speaking. And we can tell because they ALL- EVERY ONE OF THEM - have their phones out and are relentlessly and furiously recording every single picture. A middle aged Asian woman from China, her brow furrowed, darts from Van Gogh to Van Gogh, a ten second video and vroom! She’s elbowing her way to the front of the next one to do the same. It’s like the paintings are the plans to the Atomic Bomb and she’s Ethel Rosenberg. *
Recently, some idiot tourist sat on a crystal chair in the Palazzo Maffei in Verona, Italy, breaking it. Last week a tourist in the Uffizi in Florence backed into a 17th century painting of Fernando de Medici, tying to replicate Medici’s pose for their selfie.
In the Met, few were contemplating Van Gogh’s masterpieces. The golden wheat fields, the beguiling self portraits, one done months before the artist took his own life. The impact of art on the soul was lost. The experience became one long post card- a picture of the leaning tower of Pisa, or the Eiffel Tower, or Buckingham Palace- I was here- LOOK. LOOK AT ME NEXT TO VAN GOGH’S SUNFLOWERS … I WAS HERE… I DID THIS….DON’T YOU WANT TO BE ME?
No, we don’t. There is not one piece of art that has not been digitized and is not available for free on line. So why lose the experience of art on the desperate desire to prove you saw the painting?
It makes no sense.
We can spend an hour looking at one or two Rothkos and get lost in the wonder of how a few stripes of paint on a canvass makes us feel. And then we can repair to a favourite coffee shop in the West Village and debate Rothko’s influence over a dark espresso and crusty croissant. Is there not a better way to spend a day? How can anyone who races through an exhibition with their phone out recount how the art affected them if they don’t spend time contemplating the picture?
It makes no sense.
One last analogy. Imagine watching Tom Seaver in 1969 pitch a two-hit shutout as the Miracle Mets were on their way to an improbable World Series victory. Seaver was one of the great pitchers of all time. We saw him do this at Shea stadium that year. The sound of the ball popping in the catcher’s glove is indelible. The frustrations on the faces of hitters who could not figure him out remains with us to this day. And we had no phone. No camera. We just sat and watched and were washed over in the experience of being there.
That is what our phone generation is losing- the experience of seeing and feeling. They are replacing it with the proof of presence. I WAS THERE. I DID THIS.
But can they answer the most important question of all: How did it make you feel?
* Ethel and Julius Rosenberg were innocent. But that is a post for another time.
Florida’s Governor (“ I don’t believe in Covid or Global Warming so how did I not get elected president?”) has announced the closure of State Offices on Thursday July 3 as well. So you can enjoy a long weekend celebrating American exceptionalism (like defunding HIV treatment in Africa!! USA all the way. Let people get AIDS every day!).
What a guy. Just don’t use the term “global warming” if you’re a state employee or you will find yourself Trumped.
The Gov is term limited. He has a year left. Perhaps there’s an animal shelter he can defund before he leaves. Or some low income food for the elderly programs he can shutter. Or some children of immigrants he can cuff in front of their class and have their friends loudly mock them for being foreigners before taking them out of kindergarten and to a concentration camp in the Everglades. The kind of things we now want America to be known for. Enough of that nonsense of feeding hungry children and innovating health care to end things like Smallpox.
You know, the kind of stuff it takes to run for the presidency.
BEARS
Summer time leads to fall and that’s the best time to tune into the Bear Cams of Katmai National Park in Alaska and watch Brown bears peacefully feed on the salmon run until the current administration approves of oil drilling at the Katmai falls.
Check it out here. This is our favorite on line activity (other than betting against the Marlins).
Update : In response to our snarky riff on the Problem Solving Judge, we had THE PROBLEM SOLVER spoon it right back to us, proving that she’s the right judge for the job.
Margie Verde-Yanez
Personally we think she should keep the title as is. Why not have a problem solving judge in an age when we have so many problems that need to be solved?
Here's your winners and losers, judge-wise. Pretty much all of the administrative judges from the prior administration are O U T out. So much for competence, as opposed to political payback being the deciding factor.
Take a look at the new lineup, and if you are a long time and careful reader of the blog, what title immediately would catch Rumpole's eye? The answer is below.
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SO....we cannot resist. There is a Chief "Problem Solving" Judge? Really? Because our well known view is that Judges are problems, and cause more than they solve (and this has nothing to do with the current "problem solver").
How does this work?
Hmm...I'm having a problem with solving Fermat's Last Theorem. What to do? Oh, wait! I know, I'll call the Problem Solving Judge.
Or is it like Dear Abby?
Dear Problem Solving Judge, I'm having a problem with my mother-in-law. She doesn't like my black beans and rice. But my husband tells me that I make better moros than his mother. My mother-in-law is now coming over every day to watch me make dinner. I can't think of anything to do other than cook a second dinner once she leaves. Also, I am having problems filing in probate. Can you help?
Cuban Cook & Probate Lawyer.
There is just so much here. Sometimes the blog-gods are just too generous to a humble blogger hacking away trying to post decent content. Days of draught and endless re-writes of posts trying to find something to say are rewarded when we learn there is a Chief Problem Solving Judge.
Look! In The Courtroom. It's Justice Roberts...It's Justice Cardozo, NO It's the PROBLEM SOLVING JUDGE
Yes, it's PROBLEM SOLVING JUDGE, strange visitor from another jurisdiction, who came to Miami with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal judges. PROBLEM SOLVING JUDGE, who can change the course of mighty rivers feeding the Everglades with an opinion, stop US steel from being sold with a simple injunction. And who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered Judge in a great metropolitan courthouse, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice and no more continuances.
Ever want to take your favourite Judge, or prosecutor, or if you are a judge or prosecutor, your favourite defense attorney, and just pull the rip cord?
Now you can!
I Fly has opened up down the street from the REGJB (across from the new complex just over the bridge). Our little neighborhood is changing from small houses converted to law offices by defense attorneys in the 1970s (when you could take cash as a fee without risking indictment), into a touristy/shopping mecca.
This is how we imagine the tour bus script would read:
"And on your left is the Miami criminal courthouse, the scene of many lurid murder trials and drug trafficking trials straight out of Miami Vice. And as we pass the courthouse, on your left is the Dade County State Attorney's Office, staffed by lawyers who are very good at stating 'victim wants max' and who recently employed an experienced supervisor who withheld evidence in a murder case and then lied about it in court under oath. Their offices are called the Graham building named after Philip Graham, a former publisher of the Washington Post. Most prosecutors would tell you that the building is named after former Florida Senator Bob Graham, but they would be wrong.
Just down the street past the State Attorney's Office is the Public Defender's Office, and the interesting story about that is that their offices used to be the Miami Dade Police Department's Offices. And across from all of this is the Jackson Hospital Medical Complex where many a lawyer or judge has gone for medical assistance after a rough day in court."
So now after a hard day in court, you can go across the street, throw down a few at the bougee bar on the river (the Marine Bar it is not), and then go skydiving.
Have fun!
Bomb Damage Assessment.
Jaws was released 50 years ago today. It was, in our memory and experience, the first summer blockbuster movie.
People have their favourite lines, like "you're gonna need a bigger boat" said by Roy Scheider when he first sees the shark.
But in our humble opinion Robert Shaw as Quint stole the movie. Many point to Quint's Indianapolis speech as their favorite. "You know the thing about a shark is that he has lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a dolls eyes... I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So eleven hundred men went into water. Three hundred and sixteen come out, the sharks took the rest. June the 29, 1945..."
But this scene and his speech is our favorite. "This shark. Swallow ya whole. A little shakin, a little tenderizin and down you go...I'll find him for three. But I'll catch him and kill him for ten..."
Robert Shaw was just an amazing actor.
Your Florida Panthers won the Stanley Cup for the second year in a row. And it was the third year in a row they made the Stanley Cup finals. Quite and achievement. Time to start talking dynasty.
Here's how it played out in Miami.
1: The Panthers won the championship.
2: I thought college football was over.
1: No. The Panthers. Our hockey team.
2: Miami doesn't have a hockey team.
1: Yes we do. They won the Stanley Cup two years in a row now.
2: Oh. Well, let me know next year when they are in the finals. And you know what else? I'd buy Heat tickets if the NBA moved Wembanyama and Cooper Flagg to the Heat.
Meanwhile the US Supreme Court upheld a Tennessee law banning medical treatment for Transgender youth.
From the opinion:
We hold today what everyone already knows. Transgender people are not entitled to protections under the 14th amendment. American exceptionalism says so and drives this conclusion. We are never so strong as when we ban those of us who are different. Transgenderism is a new phenomenon which can be traced to Hillary Clinton's lost emails and Hunter Biden's laptop. And don't discount the stealing of the 2020 election. There aren't any Israeli pilots bombing Iran who are transgender and there shouldn't be any transgender people in the US getting any medical care. They should straighten up (pun intended) and fly right if they want to be accepted into American society which was founded on the principle that we are a Christian nation that does not tolerate differences. Differences make us weaker. One race. One People. Two sexes. Thats it. That's what makes America great. The Law is constitutional and we invite other states to ban these democratic inspired attacks on our president and society. Arbeit Macht Frei.
Tuesday Update: Simply because the VIX (the stock market "fear index") shot up nearly three points this afternoon to over 21, we have a sneaking suspicion that the President has ordered the US Airforce to destroy the Iranian Nuclear facility at Fordo buried deep underground. Only the US has aircraft (B1 and B2 bombers) capable of delivering the 30,000 pound "bunker buster" bomb. With the VIX shooting up, we think the order has been given. We shall see.
Attention Panther fans. It’s almost time. On Tuesday night your Florida Panthers will be playing at home to win the Stanley Cup. Now is the time to pay an outrageously obscene price for two tickets. Go to Sammy’s Steakhouse to be seen and then show up midway in the second period loudly proclaiming your undying loyalty to the Panthers. If the Panthers are behind by 3 you can unobtrusively slip out between the second and third periods.
CIVIL PROTESTS
What is the appropriate response if you’re stopped at a light in your car and some protestors walk in front of you and try and prevent you from driving away?
In LA this driver ran over the woman.
I’mWe have the answers, in another edition of one of our more popular features.
Q: Rump what happened Thursday?
A: Thursday was a normal day in the USA and the world. Israel bombed Iran and President Trump threatened similar actions to Los Angeles. A District Court Judge ruled the President could not usurp the Governor's control of the National Guard Thursday afternoon. By Thursday evening an appellate court temporarily reversed that ruling. And during the day a Boeing Dreamliner crashed in India shortly after takeoff killing everyone on board except one guy in seat 11A who was able to open the emergency exit and walk out of the crash with a few scratches.
Q: Is California really that bad?
A: Yes, it's bad. The Marines were preparing to engage a group of rowdy first graders who were refusing to take nap time. Trump ordered the Airborne to prepare for a "Normandy style drop" into LA to stop protestors from making fun of him, and artillery was brought into to stop the ACLU from criticizing the President. Oh yeah, an impertinent US Senator from California asked a question at a press conference and was wrestled to the ground by law enforcement. The House then voted along party lines to pass the "No Questions At Press Conferences" bill later in the day.
Q: What about our Courthouse?
A: The Dade State Attorney's Office kept their streak of 183 days of asking for a maximum sentence based on the victim's wishes intact. "Just because a bad check was for twenty dollars doesn't mean a lengthy prison sentence to maintain law and order is not called for. Especially when the defendant also smokes marijuana." There was also still no acknowledgement that the office employed a cabal of prosecutors led by Michael Von Zamft who lied to courts on murder cases.
Q: What exactly did Israel do?
A: This is complicated. In military terms they bombed the crap out of Iran, killing the top ranks of the Iranian Military leadership (motto "Stronger than the French Army was in 1939") and also bombing several airbases, and uranium enrichment sites.
Q: What does it mean to enrich uranium?
A: Well, it doesn't mean buying it shares of Nivida. It means refining the purity of uranium so it can be used in a nuclear weapon. For civilian reactor purposes for energy, uranium needs to be enriched to 6%. For a military bomb it needs to be enriched over 60%.
Q: So can Iran now make a nuclear weapon?
A: Probably. Israel did not strike the Fordo facility which is where the Iranians have the centrifuges to enrich uranium to weapons grade. The Fordo facilities are buried deep within a mountain and Israel is not known to have a "bunker buster" type bomb that the US has. Trump wanted to sell them some, but Musk fired the guys who keep track of them and no one can find our bunker buster bombs at the moment.
Q: What did our President say?
A: In a clear and concise response to the attack he condemned it and supported it, saying that Israel shouldn't do it, but that Iran brought it on themselves and Israel should do it. Many world leaders said that by now they were not surprised by the President's remarks and expected them.
Q: So what is Israel going to do?
A: They have a few options. They can bomb the Fordo facility's entrance and cave in some of the tunnels, essentially blocking access to the facility. They can also bomb the power plants that provide electricity to the facility. Because Iran's defenses have been so degraded, they could also land a commando strike force to enter the facility, go inside of it, and leave explosives, and then blow it up from the inside.
Q: Where is the Fordo facility?
A: Just outside the holy city of Qom.
Q: Why do they call it the holy city of Qom?
A: No one really knows. People just started calling it that several years ago and the name sort of stuck.
Q: How do you feel about things?
A: Pretty good. The Marines will have their hands full with the first graders who have been preparing water balloons and mocking the Marines on IG daring them to start something and calling their moms ugly. LA winds and fires will degrade the ability of Airborne to drop on LA. Although the ACLU doesn't have offices designed to withstand artillery. Israel is doing a good job with Iran. And by now everyone expects the Dade SAO to ask for the MAX on every case. So as we said at the start, Thursday was just a normal day in the world in 2025.
Brian Wilson burst on to the music scene in the 1960s like a supernova. He wrote about surfing in Surfing USA (1963) although he never surfed. He wrote about the happiness of life in Good Vibrations (1966) although he spent his childhood being terrorized by his father.
He wrote God Only Knows in 1966 and Paul McCartney called it the greatest song ever written.
He wrote Sloop John B and Wouldn’t It Be Nice in 1966 making 1966 his Annus Mirabilis.
In My Room (1963), Don’t Worry Baby (1964), I Get Around (1964), California Girls (1965) made the 1960s with the Beach Boys album Pet Sounds his miraculous decade.
Brian Wilson was a true music genius and authentically American- much like Chuck Berry - whose Sweet Sixteen Wilson “borrowed” for the rhythm and tempo of Surfin USA.
Brian Wilson died Wednesday at age 82. We will not see his genius again. The Beach Boys and Brian Wilson recall a time of innocence when catching a wave in California was what being a teenager in the USA was about - although he wrote California Girls after his first acid trip and hours of wallowing in his room with his pillow over his face consumed with self doubt about the tune he could not get out of his head.
Authentically telling the story of wholesome American teenagers while using and abusing drugs. A musical genius who suffered with drug abuse and mental illness for years. Successful. Creative. Mad. A genius. He was all of that and more.
He was authentic and unique and a uniquely American musical genius.
Enjoy the greatest song ever written.
Update Protests have occurred overnight in several other cities including a sit-in at Trump tower in NYC , and peaceful protests in Dallas and San Francisco. If any group wishes to organize a PEACEFUL protest in Miami to show solidarity with those in Los Angeles being threatened with the US military on US soil ( in violation of the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878) please email us and we will publicize the protest. This being Miami, expect that most people will show up towards the end- taking a few selfies before leaving- so long as they can find parking for their Tesla Truck, and it does not interfere with their dinner reservations at Sunny’s Steakhouse (which is really good btw and a resy is hard to nab ).
Here's a real leader. This is what we need. Governor Newsome of California. Well done.
And if he gets arrested, we got his back. Pro bono (words we generally try and not utter).
The whole interview is worth watching. But is you want to hear Newsome call out the administration and dare them to arrest him, scroll to 7 minutes and enjoy.
This just got very interesting very fast.
elonmusk (@Elon Musk) posted: Time to drop the really big bomb:
@realDonaldTrump is in the Epstein files. That is the real reason they have not been made public.
Have a nice day, DJT! https://x.com/elonmusk/status/
Was there any doubt that this bromance was destined to get ugly?
Update:
The Empire Strikes Back:
Your Stanley Cup Champion Florida Panthers are in the Stanley Cup Finals again in a rematch against the Edmonton Oilers. However unlike last year, if there is a game seven it will not be in Miami. That means as Miami fans it’s almost time to start paying attention to the finals.
A game six appearance at the start of the third period, loudly proclaiming your undying loyalty to the Panthers is the typical Miami front running fan play. Until then go about your business.
Speaking of loyal Miami fans who stick with their teams through good times and bad- a record 137 of you showed up for the Marlins - Rockies game this week.
137 fans in paid attendance. The Dodgers average nearly 45,000 per game. The Mets average 42,000 fans per game. And 137 people in Miami couldn’t find anything better to do then go to the baseball game earlier this week. What a great city this is.
Update : from the comments
I am a County Court Criminal Judge who over the years has worked with Mr. Solis. Solid. Strong. Sincere. Sensible. Social. That's Mr. Solis. The reaper took a trooper. Sad.
We received word earlier this week that Helmuth Solis was hospitalized and now sadly we report that he passed away. Helmuth was a former ASA who was widely respected and liked and was currently in private practice in a partnership. We did not know him well but will post some of the comments and remembrances in the comments section on the front of the blog as we receive them.
He was way too young to lose his life. We are informed this was a tragic accident of some sort and it reminds yet once again of the fragility of life and the importance of understanding the gift of life and repaying it by living in grace and being kind.
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Hello, my name is Dana and I am Paul Donnelly's partner in life. I hope I'm not overstepping any boundaries or rules by posting on this legal forum. I just received Paul's phone from the courthouse and wanted to post information regarding his Celebration of Life this coming Monday, June 2, 2025 @ 10:00 am.
The service is at Dignity Memorial's Forest Lawn Funeral home 2401 Davie Road, Davie, FL 33317.