Hmmm.....slow news week.
Oh wait. There's this: if you go visit your client in jail you may catch a deadly infection for which there is no cure.
from an email:
The Miami-Dade Corrections Dept has issued an Alert that during the month of May, there have been several cases of MRSA reported at the Metro West Detention Center. MRSA is a resistant form of a Staph Aureus infection. They have recommended that you take extra precautions when visiting clients at Metro West. Recommended precautions include using good hand hygiene, especially upon leaving the facility.
Rumpole says: Recommended precautions include.. NOT GOING! Just a thought.
NEW PRE TRIAL DIVERSION GUIDELINES FROM THE SAO
You can read the full memo below, but as a service we have excerpted the highlights:
1) No one is eligible. Ever.
2) Upon agreement of the prosecution to refer a client to PTI, the client will have to drive to a small undisclosed location in Hialeah, which is actually where the government often hid President Dick Cheney when Bin Laden was alive and not viewing pornography.
3) Upon locating the undisclosed location in Hialeah, the client will be required to wait six hours, or until the clerk in the attorneys room on the 9th floor returns from wherever they disappear to whenever we step up to the window to request a file. Whichever comes first.
4) The client will pay an application fee of $500.00. The fee will be paid in cash, preferably in small bills to "Hector".
5)The application will be reviewed and denied (see rule#1).
6) The attorney must then calendar the case in court and seek a "re-referral" to the program.
7) Review steps 2-6. Rinse. Repeat.