Saturday, September 10, 2011

NFL 2011 WEEK ONE

Are you ready for some F O O T B A L L ?

We are, although being a Fins Fan this year will be tough, starting Monday night.

Suicide Pool, week one 2011:


29 people indicated they wanted to enter the 2011 suicide pool by stating that “Joel Brown Makes Me Frown” {(c)Rumpole 2011, all rights reserved}, but we are still waiting for many picks. As of last night, before the vino kicked in, here were the picks we have received:


Rumpole: late switch to KC; DOM: Browns; Shumie’s Cigar: Cowboys; Rick Freedman: Cardinals; Colby: Jets; Plea D: Cardinals; Orlando Rodriguez: Cardinals; Caped Crusader: Falcons; Juan Gonzalez has no faith in the Manning-less Colts-Texans-ditto for Michael Grieco; Stephen ImMache- Browns; Fake Alex Michales: Browns; Dustin Tischler: Browns; Dan Lurvey: Cardinals;Clay Kaeiser: Packers-verified email arrived on tim, the mistake was Rumpole's; Cary Clennon: Cardinals; Peter Sautter: Chargers; Robert Kuntz: No pick; Kenneth Weisman, et.a;., Chargers; Fake Freddy Moldovan: KC Chiefs; Marshall Dore Louis: Dolphins???(short season for you MDL); Miguel De La Over: KC Chiefs; Iftikhar Memon (hereinafter IM) Browns; Nick Basso: Cheaters; Adam 2T: Cardinals; and finally BDTD who has again provided us with a pick for every week of the season: Eagles ( could be a short season for BTDT- see below).


Picks: As we wrote earlier, due to many unforeseen circumstances (although how 52nd Street Irwin didn’t know that guy was a fed is beyond us) we will not be making picks every week. But we do have some thought$ on week one:


If you can get the line at 42, take the under in the Buffalo/KC game for 300; ditto for Tennessee at Jax; also hop on the Titans for the same amount +2;


Upsets of the week: Dream Team, schweem team, the Eagles giving 4 on the road to the Rams go down and Vick is not the pick. Indeed, if you want, take the money line of +175 Rams (meaning you are not taking any points and laying 100 to win 175). We did this 300 times; and how about those Cowboys? WIthout the worst head coach in the league (Vanilla Phillips) calling the shots anymore, the Cowpokes are posed to ride their talent to a surprisingly good season.


Last year we told you to bet against the Cowpokes at every possible opportunity. This year we are telling you to take the plunge and the points (+4 at the Jets in New Jersey) and watch them surprise some people, including the slow starting Jets. Cowboys +4 over Jets, 200X.


Let us give you some trends to capitalize on in 2011:

1) The Cowboys are a legit Super Bowl Contender- hop on them before the public catches on.

2) The Steelers are headed for a downfall. An aging defense and no change in a very suspect secondary allow the league to catch up to the men of steel. Stay away from them on any plays involving your wallet as we don't know when the dam breaks, but the cracks are there. NB- if they contend it will be with a high powered pass centric offense-hardly "Steeler football."

3) J..E...T....S.... hype hype hype. Rex Ryan's heft surpasses his teams win totals this year. The Jets will disappoint.

4) The Lions are for real- but no surprise there and their vastly improved defense has already been factored into the spread so you won't find value in their games.

5) With Vanilla Phillips gone in Dallas, Norv Turner assumes the mantle as ...drum roll please: "The worst coach in the league!!" The Chargers will win games and look impressive. And then lose in the playoffs, probably to the Steelers or Patriots.

6) Here's what happens when you send amateurs to do a professional's job: In Miami at Regional Counsel they fired two extraordinarily talented and respected lawyers on the eve of a re-trial of a man who murdered a police officer in 1977; In Jacksonville they release the starting quarterback after the end of all pre-season games and name a QB who hasn't started since 2008 or something ridiculous like that. The only question we have is whether the Bengals or the Jaguars are on the clock first for the 2012 draft? Probably the Jags win the race to the bottom.

7) The Dolphins reach mediocrity. 8-8 sounds about right as the Tony Sparano watch officially begins Tuesday morning.

8) The Rams are for real. A good offense and defense minded head coach will allow them to surprise some people, starting with the Eagles today.

9) The Seattle Seahawks are going no where fast with a back-up qb starting.

10) Can Donovan McNabb get back to the Super Bowl with the best offensive player in the league running the rock behind him? Nope.

11) Tampa Bay will improve from last year, but today's game is a tough call.

12) The Browns will improve from last year and may contend for a playoff spot as their QB is for real. They will surprise some people and you can find some value in their spreads.

13) The Redskins have a real defense, but their offense concerns us in a tough division.

14) No playoffs this year for the Giants.

15) Tom Brady carries the Patriots to the playoffs, but a weak defense is their un-doing.

16) We like the Texans this year. We don't like the Colts without Peyton.

17) The Titans are re-building. Stay away. Ditto the Bills.

18) The Bears stink. They are miles away from being a half away from the Super Bowl. The Packers march back to the big show without much of a challenge until they meet the Cowboys or the Falcons in the NFC Championship game.

19) Can the Ravens finally beat the Steelers in the playoffs? Yup.

20) Is the third time the charm for Alex Smith and the Niners? Nope.

21) KC and the Sunshine Band had more hits than the KC Chiefs will deliver this year.





Today is 9/11. Take a moment to reflect on how much they day has cost the families of average Americans who are no longer with us. From ground Zero to Iraq to Afghanistan, Americans lie in early graves because of that horrible horrible day.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rumpole - with all due respect ... the Jets are going to clobber the Cowboys!!! What are you talking about? Don't you have a sports book at your favorite hangout - Hard Rock casino (not the one in Vegas)?

QB Mark Sanchez and Plaxico B. are going to put some big numbers on the board early....

Obi Wan Zenobi said...

Joe George will be removed from head of Regional Counsel
by end of this week by Governor Scott

Rumpole said...

The two picks for the suicide pool today are the Browns or the Chiefs. Both are weaker teams playing very weak teams. The Chiefs are playing at home that and the facts that the Browns will play the Bengals a second time this season at home makes me think that the Chief are the best pick today. A close third is the Titans over the Jags. The Cardinals are the favorite pick today, but Arizona is a decent team and I want a few weeks to make sure their new QB clicks- he is still a big question mark in my opinion since he couldn't hold the staring job with the Eagles last year.

KELLIE PETERSON FAN CLUB said...

If Governor Scott does that he will come under intense criticism....

for waiting so damn long!!!!!!

JOE IS A SCHMO said...

PS: The KP fan club will be staging a silent sit in outside the offices of joe "fire em all, let the governor sort it out because I'm unstable" George" some time this week. We will sit quietly, hold signs that say "WINE IS FINE, BUT JOE IS A SCHMO" and softly chant
"all we are saying, is give Kellie a chance....all we are saying, is kick joe in the pants....all we are saying is Gene is super clean...."

Come join us. Good karma.

Anonymous said...

WINE IS FINE...JOE IS A SCHMO....love it love it love it....

Anonymous said...

Best alias:

Obi Wan Zenobi.

Wish I had thought of it.

fake Joe George said...

1:36, 1:43, 1:47- you're all fired. You have two minutes to grab your stuff and leave this blog or I will have you arrested.

Now....(deep breath).

"By the power vested in my by the State of Florida and County of Dade, I Joseph Persimmon George, Jr., it being readily apparent to me that the Governor of the State of Florida is grossly misinformed and my be taking steps that will grievously injure the clients of the office of civil conflict, regional counsel and miami defense, do hereby REMOVE SAID GOVERNOR FROM OFFICE. My henchman Richard Joyce will temporarily assume the office of governor of the state of Florida until I return from a very important disorderly conflict legal seminar in Hawaii. Upon my return I shall assume the dual duties as Regional Counsel and Governor of the great state of Florida until a special election can be called sometime in 2017.
Done and ordered because I've lost all touch with reality, on this the 11th day of Ohm, Miami, Dade County, Florida.
Joseph Persimmon George III, Esq

Anonymous said...

LOL ROFL

Wine is Fine and Joe is a Schmo!

Anonymous said...

I need the Cardinals and the Dolphins to lose and I will win this NFL pool by the third week! Oh yea, I also need to win this week with my JETS pick!!!!

Anonymous said...

ROFL re the comment about the Eagles and Rams. The Rams are horrible. No way Eagles were going to blow this one.

BTDT

The Diaries Of a Mad Regional Counsel said...

FROM THE SECRET DIARIES OF JOSEPH POINDEXTER GEORGE, JR, ESQ.

July 13, 2011: Dear Diary: I knew it! Those schemers were plotting behind my back! Today I caught them drinking on the job! Oh sure it was just a little wine! And oh sure it was after hours and they "said" it was to celebrate a birthday! Yeah right! I've got them where I want them.

July 20, 2011: Its been a week since I caught those rats trying to sink my ship with wine! What to do, oh what to do??!!!

July 27, 2011: its been two weeks since the great wine incident. I need to move deliberately, to show Tallahassee I am n charge, in control and in line for re-appointment.

August 4, 2011: Dear Diary- three weeks since I caught those rats splashing wine in the computers, laughing about destroying state property and on the phone with Carlo Martinez laughing about our budget cuts. I'll get them. And soon!

August 13, 2011: Dear Diary- well the worst month of my life has gone by. The great wine incident is becoming worse and worse. After careful investigation I now believe Zenobi was on the grassy knoll in Dallas on that fateful day in 1963. I just need to find the phone number for Oliver Stone and then I can rite my own ticket.

August 20, 2011- Dear Diary- that idiot Oliver Stone won't return my calls. He's done for, I will guarantee it. Meanwhile the rats snicker behind my back whenever I walk out of the room. Just wait,,,just wait. We have that big trial coming up, not sure how to handle that....

August 27, 2011. Six weeks since I uncovered proof that my own people were behind 9/11. I am shaking with rage while they toast with wine. Something must be done and soon.

September 7, 2011. Dear Diary- the deed is done. Seven short weeks since I uncovered the plot to destabilize world governments brewing in my own office. As crazy as it seems, those three were behind the Japanese nuclear melt down, the Kennedy Assassination, 9/11, and the filming and production of both Waterworld and Dances with Wolves. The evil behind destroying Kevin Costner's career was just more than I could accept. So fired them, one and all. And by tomorrow I will be prepared to accept the accolades of the free world. There is talk Good Morning America wants me as a host, and perhaps a nomination to the Supreme Court or a Senate seat if I want.

I can't wait to see the Herald.....

Anonymous said...

Greatest comment in this history of the blog.

Anonymous said...

You guys got super lucky with the Cardinals pick!!! I thought that half of the suicide pool would be out with that pick....not jinxing anyone, but I want to win this year :)