Monday, September 12, 2011


Deep inside Governor Scott's security bunker at an undisclosed location outside of Tallahassee. The morning "state of the state" briefing is concluding:

Aide#1: "Item 11- the rest of the Republican candidates have all contacted us. They agree with Governor Perry's plan to have you endorse the President in the general election. It will swing the state against him for sure."

Governor Scott: "Any news on my seats at the Convention?"

Aide#2: "Uh, yes sir! Good news on that front. The Hooters they have you at has agreed to reserve two spots at the bar right up close to the television."

Governor Scott: " Ok, lets wrap it up. "

Aide#1: "Last item: We have that problem with the criminal defense guy in Miami."

Governor Scott: "Well if that idiot hadn't decided to sue the state he might have done better with his budget. "

Aide#1: "No sir. Not that idiot. That's the Public Defender you are talking about. We have a problem with that other criminal defense agency. You know, the one that was created to take conflicts from the PD."

Governor Scott: " Didn't the state used to contract with private attorneys before this large agency was created?Can someone tell me what liberal commie pinko big government loving fool created that agency?"

Aide#2: "Ummm....that would be the last two republican Governors and the republican controlled house and senate that created Regional Counsel."

Governor Scott: "And why in the name of Lawton Chiles did they do that? "

Aide#1: "Well apparently the choice was between creating another big government agency or screwing the trial lawyers, and when the choice came down to that, it was pretty clear."

Governor Scott: "Yeah, I can see their point. What is going on in Miami? I need another problem like I need another federal investigation for healthcare fraud."

Aide#2: "The head of the agency has gone a bit nuts and fired almost everyone."

Governor Scott: He has? Fired almost everyone you say? hmmm...I like what I'm hearing. An agency head cutting government employees and downsizing? That man is a genius, he can go far with us."

Aide#1: "But sir, the problem is that he has decimated the agency and it can't do it's job. Criminal defendants aren't getting good representation and......oh wait....I see what you mean."

Governor Scott: "Get me this man immediately! He is being wasted in Miami. Together he and I can do great things, Why, when we're done, we'll be bigger than US Steel."

Aide#2: " Sir, US Steel went bankrupt in 2003."

Governor Scott(rubbing his hands together with glee): "Exactly! Fly him to me today! When I'm done with him they'll be begging me to sit in the convention next summer. And then we'll see who wants my endorsement."

Rumpole: And so on....


Anonymous said...

RUMPY, who is left in the Suicide Pool?

LET EM GO JOE said...

Can somebody explain to me why the responsible response to valuable employees making what - in the light most favorable to "Let em go Joe" is a violation of agency rules-would not be a $100.00 fine or taking a half day without pay? WHy wreck the careers of three talented attorneys unless, as Rumpole is hinting at, there were more nefarious reasons behind these firings.

Rumpole said...

everybody who picked the cardinals, weisman and kaeiser. Read the damn post and you figure it out.

Anonymous said...

wow RUMPY, you sound stressed. won't bother you about football till next Saturday...Sorry!

Anonymous said...

Talk about a lunatic circus and gathering of fools. The City of Miami a/k/a “The Moron Republic” has given us a spectacle of shame. How does the Julie Bru, the City Attorney, and Commissioners Francis Suarez and Mark Sarnoff, both members of the Florida Bar allow Al Milian to appear before the City Commission purporting to “represent” the City Manager. Al Milian is suing the City of Miami, representing the video game machine operators. In a typical Miami moment, someone raises the conflict of interest issue, pointing the obvious, and Al Milian responds by saying that he “will” withdraw from representing the Video machine gang and not handle any cases against the City for five years. The City Commission, with two lawyers sitting, and the City Attorney, all give approbation to this circus. I don’t know about you, but my reading of Rule 4-1.7 of the Rules of Professional Conduct does not permit this fiasco. You do not withdraw in the future, you have to terminate the attorney-client relationship before you undertake any adverse or potentially adverse or conflicting engagement. Oh yeah, and case law holds you cannot even get involved with the adverse decision makers post representation of an adverse interest. Talk about a blatant scam. The City Manager and City Attorney will now quietly settle the case with the Video machine gang. Oh, yeah how about for the City Attorney and the toe Attorney Commissioners how about Rule 4-8.3 of the Rules of Professional Conduct. Have to wonder how Genden will handle this, perhaps refer all of them the Florida Bar. Oh, yes, how about the City Manager being referred to the Ethics Commission. Just a rambling over a morning cup of Joe.

Anonymous said...

You too bit weasel mothertruker! You have started a fight with the top Estate lawyer in Florida.

Anonymous said...

Somebody explain the following to me:

The Dolphins cut Will Allen and keep Nolan Carroll who can't cover his own ass with his underwear.

The Dolphins cut Channing Crowder and spend a fortune to sign Barnett because he supposedly can cover a tight end in a pattern. Yet Barnett's name was not called once during the game and the tight ends ran freer down the middle than a man preparing for a colonoscopy runs to the bathroom.

The Dophins let Ricky Williams sign with someone else and leave themselves with only Reggie "My Ankle Hurts" Bush in the backfield when their rookie Thomas gets hurt.

The Dolphins cut Polite and have no real fullback to gain short yardage or block on short yardage. So instead they put Paul Solei in the backfield and he tiptoes up to the line, stands straght up and hits no one. Pathetic is the only word to discribe that effort.

Dolphin fans are screaming they need a new quarterback when Henne had a game that should have been more than enough to win. 400 yards in the air, 60 yards on the ground, two touchdown passes, one touchdown rushed on an audible and an intereception on the last play that a quarterback only looking at his stats would have thrown out the back of the endzone. (Only one realy bad pass all night and on numerous occassions put the ball where it had to be, only to have his recievers fail to make the play.)

Brady was untouched (except one play) all night. My pants got dirtier getting in and out of my car than his did last night.

All in all the failure of this management to make good personnel decisions and, the fact that it is hard to imagine this defense making any effective appearance, give us little, if any, hope for any kind of season. 6-10 is optomistic.

CAPTAIN said...



"To opposing parties and their counsel, I pledge fairness, integrity and civility, not only in court, but also in all written and oral communications."

That sentence has now been added to the Florida Bar's Oath for all new attorneys being sworn in to practice law in our great State of Florida.

New members of The Florida Bar will have to pledge fairness, integrity and civility in all communications when taking their oaths of office from now on.

The Florida Supreme Court, concerned about increasing incivility among lawyers, altered The Florida Bar's lawyer's oath in a unanimous ruling, "recognizing the importance of respectful and civil conduct in the practice of law."

The unsigned change notes efforts by the American Board of Trial Advocates to underscore the importance of civility in the practice of law. The clause added to the Florida lawyer's oath is borrowed from the South Carolina oath.

From the DBR.

Captain Out .....

Anonymous said...

To 10:16 — misguided, craven self interest is hard to explain.

To Rump — great post; loved the "And why in the name of Lawton Chiles..." line.

Michael Feiler said...


I did timely email my san diego pick to you but did not appear in the list.....

Michael Feiler

Anonymous said...

Memo to governor scott: From: chief of staff: the way I see it governor here is the problem and here are your options. You are stuck with these 5 conflict offices, you already reappointed the 1st dca guy for 4 more years. Gov: that's right I said he saved money and is a former prosecutor. Chief: correctl. now the 3 criminal defense lawyers were fired by the head criminal defense lawyer in the office and they were popular and qualified. Gov: didn't the guy who fired him used to draft wills and has no criminal experience. Chief: that's right, he was the only one who applied 4 years ago. now the reason they set up this office was to save money because of the death penalty lawyers so we have a real problem. Gov: now let's not overreact. when the jqc sends me 3 names in october I pick a former prosecutor like all my other choices, multack, altfield, fernandez. any hispanic former prosecutors apply. chief: no but there is one former prosector of over 30 years with no defense experience, one with much defense experience but he used to be a drunk, and some defense attorneys who are so bad you might as well call them prosecutors. Gov. ok well maybe I appoint the fired capital guy so I look nice because the herald wrote 2 articles in support of him. Chief: not a bad idea. Next on the calendar we have to fill the vacant board seat for the Hendry county water management district. Gov: now were talking,plenty of qualified republicans for that, who cares about adequate defense of a bunch of high school dropouts abandoned by their father.

Kissimmee Kid said...


At least us old-timers can be as rude as we want.

Anonymous said...

CAP----that change is useless. The only way we'll see more integrity and civility is if:

1. We demand it from our colleagues on a constant basis;
2. More judges act like they deserve the robes (many do; others act like they're doing the world a favor by wearing them); and
3. Judges start holding attorneys accountable for their misbehavior.

These three simple rules won't get us where we need to be, but they'd be a hell of a start. I'm tired as hell of judges who look at me like I'm crazy for asking for sanctions against attorneys who outright lie to the court.


Anonymous said...

There is civility and honor in the criminal side but not in the civil side.

Anonymous said...

So if I took the old oath, I don't gotta be civil?

Anonymous said...

Who is going to be the arbiter of what constitutes civil behavior? Who will draw the line between uncivil behavior and justified indignation?

This is just plain stupid.

Someone once said that good men do not need to be told what is the law to act honorably, and bad men will always find a way around it. If the Bar thinks telling people to "play nice" will change a thing, they are even more out of touch and removed from the practice of law than most of us think.

Anonymous said...

BTDT - Attorneys lying in court? Prosecutors are the worst liars. I know for a fact that they hold back information and outright lie in court just to get a conviction.

Anonymous said...

i thought joe george was a pizza delivery guy

how does he lead a criminal defense firm when i dont think he could handle a traffic ticket

Kissimmee Kid said...

7:17:00 PM,

Correct. However, you cannot reject, from any consideration personal to yourself, the cause of the defenseless or oppressed, or delay anyone's cause for lucre or malice.

Anonymous said...

7:17 p.m. No. You are grandfathered in. You can be just as big an asshole as you have always been.

Anonymous said...


Hard for me to say, but HEAR, HEAR!!

Anonymous said...

The problem, BTDT, with #3 on your list, and of what you are so tired, is that, if the judges assert themselves and take control of these matters, they are perceived as mean, hard asses, arrogant, not in touch and receive low bar polls and continuous criticism on this blog and others.

You have had judges who enforced the rules and some of them suffered severe consequences for that.

When lawyers stand up and protect good judges, who enforce the rules and refuse to put up with the BS that goes down in front of them, then you can criticize.