Monday, April 23, 2007

Rumpole In Trial

Blog will be slow for a few days. Sorry. I will try and get the comments up as soon as possible.

You ever get the feeling a Judge just doesn't want to pick a jury?

Newly minted Judge Joe Fernandez responded to a complaint:

Joe Fernandez said...
Wow! What an inauspicious way to finally make the blog, huh?

A concerned friend alerted me to the post to which I will respond as follows:

I do not have a policy of not calling lawyers out of turn. I only have one announced policy and that is a policy of accommodation...I haven't had the need to come up with any others. In fact any lawyer can walk up at almost anytime and ask to be called out of turn on any calendar. This is generally not possible when dealing with a trial calendar becasue of the unique logistics of a trial calendar. Sometimes, I know, I fail to announce that private lawyers can come up and call their cases. It's because I simply forget to do so...still getting used to this judge thing, I guess. Some lawyers come in and sit in the audience and never say anything until their case is called. It is a large, poorly lit courtroom. I will often ask my bailiff to approach these folks and ask if they are attorneys and, if so, to tell them to come up and call their case. Some lawyers come to Court dressed informally (which I generally don't mind) so there is no way for me to know until I call the case.

I make an effort to call folks with children or scheduling problems out of turn even if they are pro se. This past friday was unusual because there were 3 infraction trial calendars in a row, with an average of 42 cases per calendar. The majority of these are accident cases with civilian witnesses and police officers. These cases often involve lengthy testimony. I only have 45 minutes for each calendar and everyone wants to get out of there. No one (attorney or pro se party) has ever taken me up on my offer to return after lunch or later in the day. Again, I am still learning.

Regarding the "yell[ing]" at a "defendant" (I usually call them "drivers" in infraction cases, by the way): I don't yell. If, as the poster says, he/she was in the courtroom for an "unusually long" period of time that morning, he/she knows that.

As a lawyer for 17 years (12 as a criminal defense attorney) prior to being elected, I never thought it inappropriate for a judge, when called upon and when appropriate, to make an impression on a party by speaking firmly. To avoid any possible violation of the canons by discussing the case, I invite anonymous to call my office (anonymously, if he/she wishes) to discuss any concerns.

Rumpole says: well done.


Rumpole said...

I have nothing to do with DUI ratings or the Diary of a Mad Jurist. I merely receive the comment and post it.

DUI Guy said...



DUI Power Rankings. (C) All rights reserved. The DUI Guy.

1. 1.0 Lurvey and Lyons
2. 0.994 Carlos Canet
3. 0.989 Bobby Reiff

4. 0.983 Miami PDs
5. 0.919 Jonathan Blecher
6. 0.897 Richard Hersch
7. 0.796 Jimbo Best
8. 0.640 Essen & Essen
9. 0.632 Michael Catalano
10. 0.554 Alan Shuminer

A new number one, two and three. Catalano gets back on the board, joined by Shuminer. Gavaria slips out of the top ten- he had a brief stay.

Lurvey and Lyons number one after a strong week.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, DUI guy!!!

Spicoli said...

Some might be wondering what the hell that other blog all about!

This other blog is designed for you. So you guys and gals can take a break and look at some funny videos to take your minds off of the day. Greater detail can be found at the new address: www.thatotherlostblog.blogspot.com.

Rank whatever you want. Watch a clip of ChapPelle. Listen to music and shrink it while you read the far loftier discourse here. Or, don't.

Honestly, we do care. Here's why: This society needs to laugh at ourselves a bit more. If you read the very first post, maybe you'll see what our intent was in part. Bottom line... we want you to cry laughing at some of the stuff we pull off of YouTube and some of the other folks we know in the comedy biz.

With all of the recent news, we have a deep concern it will adversely effect how people talk and in the process disinfect all of the humour society has to offer.

Hope you guys come some more to visit. As you know, the site changes a lot. Tonight, we will place a classic comedy clip. In all liklihood, the comedian of the night will have some dirty jokes. For thos with virgin ears, don't watch.

Peace -- Rankings are great! We will have a ranking system on a new subject later in the week. In the meanwhile, have a great Monday!

AND, KICK SOME ASS RUMPOLE. Now everyone in trial is a suspect. That narrows it down. I heard it's an armed jaywalking case



State of New York v. Lenny Bruce said...

Thought I'd look up Lenny's thought's about crap cases brought against him and how we fail to learn from history.

the trialmaster said...

good luck rumpole on your county court trial. the trialmaster

dui power rankings countdown said...

Today is Monday... Only 6 days till the Sunday DUI Power Rankings!

Rumpole said...

TM, you can be downright sanctimonious at times. I would rather have a lawyer representing me who treats everything from a traffic ticket to a murder case the same then some lawyer who feels certain cases are beneath him or her.

Rumpole said...

BTW- the reason why Judge Fernandez did not make a mistake responding to the criticism is that with the blog on moderation, he can make his point and the idiots cannot make theirs.

Anonymous said...

Someone go scope out the trial calendars to figure out who Rump is.

Rumpole said...

UHHO....did I make a mistake?? gee..I should be smarter...(he hehehehehe)

Spicoli said...

News flash: Rumpole picks a jury, simultaneously checks the blog, ridesa unicycle, and listens to The Benny Hill Theme Song.

Spicoli make Armed Kidnapping and Armed False Imprisonment go night night today. Time to do nothing!!!!

Anonymous said...

To Bob Levy (a.k.a. - The State of New York v. Lenny Bruce) - this is typical of the way you operate. I knew Lenny Bruce and you, Bob Levy, are no Lenny Bruce. There was socially redeeming value in Lenny Bruce's statements and his humor. There was no victim to his conduct. His offensives were that he said things that others found offensive.

You sir have no socially redeeming value, are humorless and your CRIMES had a victim. Someone was harmed as a result of your actions. Lastly your CRIMES were indicative of your reputation in general and for truth and veracity. They both are less than awful.

The Legal Beagle said...

The link should work: www.thatotherlostblog.blogspot.com/

Rumpole was spotted doing an armed littering case in Live Oak.

Sam I Am said...

Trial? Such accidental hints are best enjoyed with a side of red-herring.

Rumpole said...

We prefer the Schmaltz herring from Zabars on the upper west side.

Judge Fernandez's imput is always welcome on the blog. We're glad he reads it.

Whats the thing with this Mr. Levy? Who hates him and why? What does he have to do with the REGJB, other than running judicial candidates every two years? Inquiring minds in trial want to know something important, as opposed to what the lady in the second row likes to read. Who teaches these prosecutors voire dire????

Anonymous said...

Rumpy- I can't even tell you the awesome suspense I felt Sunday, hour after hour, until the new DUI rankings were published. And what a bombshell!!! The L&L twins shooting to first for the first time!!!! Blecher's slow steady march to the top of his profession. Jimbo Best, the aging veteran struggling to hold on while its an open secret he has lost a few steps. Shuminer yelling until he made the top ten. Intrigue. Suspense. Liquor. Everything but sex!!!!

Robed wearer said...

I may just have the famous Rumpole in trial..And boy would everyone be surprised at who he is. Not even in the top ten of choices...and yet...I have seen some secret tapping on the cell phone and other clues....hmmm..

Anonymous said...

I'm sitting there with my popcorn every sunday watching Blecher ride this thing to the top!!!! The DUI Power ratings are 100X better than NASCAR.

Anonymous said...

And don't forget the sheer human drama as an aging Jimbo Best hangs on.....while hot shots L&L, Canet, and Reiff slug it out for superstar status. Can the old magician Best make one more run for it all...like an aging Jimmy Connors at the US Open in NY? Like Ali/Spinks II. You get the picture.

Best Guess said...

Michael Matters or Stu Adelstein

Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

rumpole is...richard barron

Anonymous said...

Rumpole - the "thing" about Levy is that he is responsible for such bright minds as Peter Adrien, Barbara Areces, Sarah Zabel, Judy Rubenstein, Ana Pando and Will Thomas. In the last elective cycle he alienated himself from Al Lorenzo because Al found him to be too dishonest and too unethical. Now that is the pot calling the kettle black.

Levy's influence over the judges throughout the system makes him the subject matter of this blog and any discussion regarding the administration of justice in Miami-Dade County.

The others are bad enough, but this one blackmails judges into paying him with threats of opposition and then proceeds to lie, play dirty tricks and subvert the system. He revels in his belief in his self-importance, all in compensation for his real inadequacies. I repeat he is the scum of the earth. (Osama is the infectious slime of the earth) Bad Man. Bad Man. Bad Man.

Slom I Am said...

Judge Joe:

it was just a matter of time, ya know.

your pal,

Sam Slom


Rumpole- I hereby order you as Stu Adelstein and Michael Matters to my courtroom in North Dade this Friday, where you shall wait until the end of the calendar, where you shall NOT be called out of turn, and where you shall then explain your actions in this blog matter.

Done and Ordered, on this the 23rd Day Of April, In North Miami, South Of Aventura, East of Hialeah, Dade County, Florida.

Judge Joe Blogger Fernandez
County Court Judge

fake ted mastos said...

chomp chomp smack smack, those kids stu and mike - i would have never knownnnnnnnnnnnnn

Anonymous said...

The DUI power rankings are not accurate and should not be posted.

the trialmaster said...

me thinks that rump is throwing a false lead that he is in trial. the trialmaster very occasional ventures into kounty kiddie kourt. but, when he does the fee is a minimum fee of 25 k. but the trialmaster has no qualms about those who eck out a living down there.

fake sam slom said...

Judge Joe:

it was just a matter of time.


Anonymous said...

I was in court the other day and Judge Slom said "What says the defense?" after a State objection.
I immediately thought this is the type of language the Rumpinator uses. Hmm.

Anonymous said...

What does Chris Lyons look like? As much as I have heard about him, I don't think he has ever been in the same courtroom as me.

Anonymous said...

Did you see the article int he Daily Review about United and Judge Schwartz at the Gables Court house? Check out the pleadings on the DBR website.

Anonymous said...

As long as candidates and judges keep paying big bucks to the likes of Bob Levy, Al Lorenzo, Armando Gutierrez, etc., they will continue to thrive. Candidates pay the big fees that this kind of people charge in hopes of staving off opposition, getting absentee ballots cast in their favor, and for campaign dirty trickery. This type of consultants only care about money and don't give a hoot about the qualifications, experience or suitability of their candidates for the post they seek. The biggest loser is the people of Dade County who get stuck with poor quality judges, mayors, commissioners and legislators.

Anonymous said...

Trialmaster.....you're a joke. Get over yourself. Take your ego and go away.

Spicoli said...


Anonymous said...

Actually some political consultants are very selective and do care about the people they work campaigns for. Ofcourse, we all know it is not Levy or Lorenzo.

Regardless, who is so upset? Is it one of his many candidates that have lost their recent campaigns?

Anonymous said...

Chris Lyons looks just like his twin brother Dan Lurvey.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, why do you call Bob Levy Mr.? I mean, you know he is a crook and you act like he is an Angel. The only Angel he could be is Lucifer.

Sam The Sham - Wolly Bully said...

I know that song and red herring.

Anonymous said...

I have just been advised that Bob Levy will continue to advise candidates, they will continue to hire him, some will win, some will lose.


Broweird said...

From Broward's JAABlog
"An Onlooker's Tale"
Posted on 4/23/2007 @ 7:48:00 PM, written by Esop Fabels.


An Onlooker's Tale

Once there was a little seaside town called Broweird. It was a beautiful little town, but it was not a perfect place. There were once bad laws that stopped the people of Broweird from being together in public places, and laws that applied to some citizens and not to others.

Eventually, Broweird grew into a very big city indeed. The bad laws went away, and all kinds of different people ended up living there. They were good people of every stripe and color, but all was not well.

The main problem with Broweird was, strangely enough, its circus. It was the only circus in town, and it had been there since the days of the very bad laws indeed. The people of Broweird had no choice but to attend this circus, because it was the only place to go when they needed to laugh, and to cry, and to try to work out their problems together, when day to day life became too hard, and things went wrong.

The circus was run by the clowns, with their magical super clown powers. The head clown was a very old clown called Bozo. Bozo was a different kind of clown, the kind of scary and angry clown who liked being a clown for all the wrong reasons. He believed that clowns were like Roman Gods roaming the earth, and that no one should ever question clown motivations or behavior. He really did not believe that clowns were there to help people. Bozo had been the head clown for many, many years, long before Broweird became a big city, with so many different kinds of people. Bozo did not like change, and Bozo did not really care whether people enjoyed the circus, since he viewed it as his circus and everyone else could lump it.

All of the clowns were afraid of Bozo, because if they didn’t do what Bozo wanted, then Bozo and his friends, like his right hand clown, Sprinkles, who specialized in magical dirty tricks, would make their lives miserable and hurt their careers. Whatever Bozo wanted, Bozo got, without a peep from the other clowns, even if Bozo was completely wrong. Of course, the clowns were the ones who elected Bozo head clown year after year, by honking their clown noses in unison and stomping their clown shoes wildly for Bozo to see, and, in the end, they only had themselves to blame for Bozo’s actions.

The clowns did, however, derive many benefits from Bozo’s rule. They knew they could perform very badly indeed, and Bozo would always support them. They could say rude, insensitive things to the circus patrons, and Bozo would chuckle. They could be seen around Broweird, or anywhere in the world if they happened to be on television, doing the most un-clown like things, and Bozo would not care. They could even plot and snipe against each other behind their backs, and Bozo would feel more powerful. There were many, many scandals that were reported in the Broweird Times, the local newspaper, to the point that the people of Broweird lost confidence in their once respected and beloved clowns. Bozo never wavered, and he always had their backs, even when the mighty Supreme Commission was involved.

Bozo had many other ways to shore up support. If someone tried to become a clown himself or a bigger clown than he already was, then Bozo would call all his powerful circus owner friends and do everything he could to help a loyal clown realize his dream. If a clown had a friend or relative that wanted to become a junior clown, or if a clown had a relative that wanted to become a full fledged clown, then Bozo could make it happen.

Bozo was a very clever clown indeed. He knew, most importantly, that if the other clowns didn’t have to work hard, or if they could play the same role forever, they would continue to elect him head clown, no matter what. He made it so that his favorite clowns could pile into their clown cars at lunch time, and not have to come back to the circus, instead of having to perform shows or clown duties until 5:00 p.m., each and every day of the week. Some clowns didn’t even have to perform except for an hour or two a week. Even when there were many, many more people who needed to see the circus than could get in, Bozo always refused to make his clowns work harder or share clown work, even when the parking lot for the circus, where the people waited to get in, became overcrowded and dangerous for its attendants.

But all the blame cannot be placed on Bozo. Many of the clowns allowed the people of Broweird to be treated differently based on their appearance. They simply refused to remedy patent inequities with their super clown powers, as their brother and sister clowns in neighboring Palmland and Dadeland would do on a daily basis, at a preliminary clown show or during the main event itself.

For instance, most clowns did not take action when a distinct group of Broweird’s citizens were subjected to certain laws, and others were not, particularly the laws dealing with bad medicines. As a result, some of Broweird’s citizens were not allowed to ride their bikes at night without a light, while some could, without being searched. Some of Broweird’s citizens would routinely be searched for having dark window tint, while some citizens weren’t. Most of the clowns didn’t even care when certain citizens had their cars searched by dogs for traffic violations, while others did not. Some of Broweird’s citizens would be pulled over for minor traffic or equipment infractions, ordered out of the car (passengers too), and searched, while others would not be searched or stopped in the first place. Roaming gangs of police were assigned to target and raid some of Broweird’s neighborhoods, even breaking the sacred laws themselves, and most of the clowns would simply honk their noses in support. The circus audience itself became full of citizens who all looked the same, primarily because of these stop and search practices, day after day. And the clowns, even though they knew that citizens of every color and financial background were involved with bad medicines, and who were looked up to by the people of Broweird for answers, mostly kept on performing just the way Bozo and others liked it, seemingly without a care in the world, while the prisons overflowed with certain members of Broweird’s community.

How did things get so bad in Broweird? Bozo and Sprinkles were a big factor, of course, doing all they could to stop the flow of information to the general public and stifle independent, creative clown thinking and leadership. New clowns looked up to Bozo or the clowns he assigned them as mentors, who, of course, were chosen in his own image of what a clown should be. Most of the clowns dutifully followed his will, whether spoken or not, despite the fact that his leadership was unquestionably flawed. The other circus workers also were afraid that Bozo and the other clowns would use their super clown powers to destroy their careers or their friends, so no one dared to stand up and shout "this circus stinks!" Things got worse and worse and worse. The Broweird circus was run by fear and intimidation.

Meanwhile, the people of Broweird, who had grown into a diverse, multi-ethnic community, had to endure this miserable show, even though their clowns no longer reflected the makeup or desires of the community. All the clowns, for the most part, still wore white makeup, just like when the laws were very, very bad in small town Broweird, all those years ago. The citizens of Broweird needed and wanted clowns who wore green, red, yellow, and blue makeup, just like they did, who cared about their problems, yet the people who picked the clowns, and most of the clowns themselves, just didn’t seem to care. And the irony was that the citizens who wanted multi-colored makeup now outnumbered those that wanted only white makeup!

Things continued to get worse. Many citizens had been stripped of their rights, and their voice was no longer heard. Most of the other citizens never knew what was going on at the circus, because they managed to stay away, and because the process to make new clowns was a top secret enterprise. More scandals were reported in the Broweird Times, more investigations by the Supreme Commission followed, yet nothing changed. Cynicism and anger multiplied. The good, caring clowns, who believed in the sanctity of their profession and their mission, were ostracized and punished. They were afraid to speak out. And it was a very dark day indeed in Broweird.

And then, one day, with hopelessness at its peak, as has happened so often throughout history, a miracle happened. For on a bleary Monday morning, when all the clowns were gathered and performing their mostly bloodless, passionless show, a great, mystical wave rose from the sea and hung, suspended, above all of Broweird.

The wave hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity, so that all the children, parents and living things could marvel at its majesty. They waited and watched in silence until, with every eye gazing peacefully upward at the magnificent force of nature that could swallow them all, the wave shot upwards toward the heavens and then back down towards earth, narrowing itself into a fine funnel that focused the sea’s pure waters only upon the circus. There were gasps and hollers, and cries and tears, not from pain or sorrow, but from release and joy.

With the waters pounding down from the heavens, a curious thing happened. For as the sea cleansed the circus, all the clowns were drawn together in a circle and compelled, as if by divine intervention, to hold hands. Even Bozo and his henchman, Sprinkles, joined the circle. And they all watched each other’s faces as the waters cleansed the years of caked on white make-up, revealing glorious shades of green, red, yellow, blue, brown, silver, and purple, together with every other color known to man. It was then they realized what they should have known all along, that they were all the same underneath, part of the same human family, a human family that depended upon the strong helping the weak, the smart helping the less educated, and the fortunate helping the less fortunate, in order for all to survive and thrive and grow as a community.

The End/The Beginning/The Middle

Anonymous said...

dui guy:

To put such excellent lawyers such as Richard Hersch, Jim Best and Mike Catalano below the P.D.'s (and the lawyers above them only tenths ahead) is a slight that must be corrected.

I know many of the P.D.'s in county court and they all try hard but they are mere puppies; they lack the experience and gravitas needed to do the job correctly (that's why they are still learning in county court). When they attend lectures, or read articles, on how to handle their cases better, who are they listening (often with rapture) to?

I'll take a P.D. over a "dump truck" lawyer any day, but not over anyone on that list (and many others not named therein).

Perhaps it is time to reevaluate your rating system.

dui power rankings countdown said...

Today is Tuesday... Only 5 days till the Sunday DUI Power Rankings!

Anonymous said...

For a dui trial, in Miami, my top ten in no particular order:
1. L&L twins
2. Ed Odonnells
3. Frank Gavria
4. Mike Walsh
5. Joel Denaro
6. The Public Defenders
7. Catalano
8. Richard Hirsh
9. Jimbo Jumbo Best
10. Bobby Rieff

Anonymous said...

To 10:48 - Thanks for the warning, Bob, but now that we know you are alone and without assistance, we only fear your opposition not the result. You are worthless by yourself. Some of us will do more than whine. Your day is over.


The Guy Who Refers to You as the Scum of the Earth

Anonymous said...

Judge Joe Fernandez is great. and to those who don't know him shame on you for the b.s. he is nothing BUT professional. I feel sorry for you for not having the time before he started on the bench to get to know him. if you spent enough time around him you'd know.

see you, thursdays, joe, at REG

Anonymous said...

This blog is being taken over by a bunch of misdemeanor (i.e. amateur)
lawyers with their heads up each others asses.