Sunday, April 01, 2007


An aggrieved jurist obtained the secret plans of our Chief Judge to sell corporate sponsorships for the 11th Judicial Circuit and emailed us an outline of the plans. Included in the plans to sell out, are the following.

The REGJB will be now called the Fed-Ex Gerstein Justice Buiding.

The Civil Courthouse will be called the Kinkos Civil Court House.

Pepsi will be the official soft drink of the 11th Judicial Circuit. Pepsi will issue commemorative cans with pictures and biographies of the Judges of the 11th Judicial Circuit.

Visa will be the official Credit Card of the 11th Judicial Circuit and will be the only credit card accepted for payment of court costs and filing fees.

Individual Judges will be able to sell corporate patches -3 per robe- similar to corporate logos on NASCAR. The fees for each logo have been set by the Court, but any Judge able to sell space on their robe will be able to keep 50% of all fees, with the other 50% going to the 11th Judicial Circuit general court fund.

The 11th Judicial Circuit will sell ad space on the front of each bench. There is discussion of installing electronic ad signs.

Each courtroom can have one official sponsor. Circuit Courtrooms cost $50,000.00 per year, County Court Courtrooms will cost $25,000.00 per year. Lawyers and law firms will be able to purchase sponsorships of the Courtrooms and all notices for all hearings must contain the corporate sponsor in the notice, eg., “The following motion will be heard in courtroom 4-2, the Greenberg Traurig Courtroom, on….”

Judges and their staff will be permitted to produce and sell approved 11th Circuit memorabilia, including coffee mugs, t-shirts and Golf Caps. The proceeds will be split with the 11th Circuit 50/50.

The Clerks will be sponsored by Mircrosoft. They will call the "Microsoft Outlook Calendar" and will wear shirts with Microsoft patches.

Dell will be the official computer of the 11th Judicial Circuit.

The Paul and Young Ron Show will be the Official Morning Radio Show of the 11th Judicial Circuit. They narrowly outbid the Neil Rogers show.

Local business will be permitted to produce and sell 30 second ads to jurors selected in cases. At three selected time periods during any trial, the trial will be halted and the bailiff will play the ads on flat screen LCD TV’s that are being installed in all courtrooms. Fed Ex, Publix, Walgreens, have already agreed to purchase 100 hours of ad time.

Outside of sponsoring courtrooms, lawyers and law firms will not be permitted to advertise in the courthouse.

Assistant Public Defenders and Assistant State Attorneys will be permitted to have two items reflecting corporate sponsorship, one item being a cap, and one item being a small placard that will be placed on the table and displayed to the jury. Publix has purchased the rights to all DUI Prosecutions, and local driving schools are purchasing rights to the defense in all reckless driving cases.

The Chief Judge will shortly issue an email to all Judges and 11th Judicial Circuit Staff that will say in part:

“Corporate Sponsorship is the wave of the future. Miami has always been at the forefront in new developments in courts and the law, and I believe that we can generate significant revenue that will enhance our legal system, while still protecting the dignity and independence of the court system and the people who work in it.”

Rumpole says: WOW.


Ready Kilowatt said...

How about the FP&L Electric Chair. Their motto: You vote...We volt!

Anonymous said...

Robert Amsel says:

Please don't send my client to the FP&L Electric Chair!

Anonymous said...

I think Sominex should be the official sponsor of the PD's office, and they can use the sleeping Brummer as their logo...

Anonymous said...

Will there be a PD swimsuit calendar? I would like to see that.

Mrs. Ludwig (my 1st grade teacher) said...

How about the Lethal Injection gurney sponsored by the Language Arts Teachers Assoc. for their Reading is Progressive Promotion (R.I.P.). Their motto "Sentencing is our Job".

Anonymous said...

In A.D. 2007
In Broward County, war was beginning.
PD Finkelstein: What happen ?
Pit APD #1: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Pit APD #2: We get signal.
PD Finkelstein: What !
Pit APD #2: Main screen turn on.
PD Finkelstein: It's you !!
Chief Judge Ross: How are you gentlemen !!
Chief Judge Ross: All your base are belong to us.
Chief Judge Ross: You are on the way to destruction.
PD Finkelstein: What you say !!
Chief Judge Ross: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Chief Judge Ross: Ha ha ha ha ....
Pit APD #2: Boss !!
PD Finkelstein: Take off every 'Zig' !!
PD Finkelstein: You know what you doing.
PD Finkelstein: Move 'Zig'.
PD Finkelstein: For great justice.

Anonymous said...

Markus has a federal judge responding to this on his blog.

Gordon Freeman said...

i love the Zero Wing reference. someone is a gamer.

Rabbi Meir Kahane said...

I have another idea...why not have private sponsorship for police departments? Say...have a group put up the money for some new piece of equipment and get the right to put decals on the item. For example if the organization Profesional urban taser zealots (PUTZ)wanted to underwrite the City of Miami taser program with the motto "You Quell...We Kfell".

fake brummer said...

Fake Brummer will never sell out to Sominex.

Anonymous said...

Farina is giving the SPIRIT System to the Ticket Attorneys for a Coke and a Smile.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, sounds like a pretty good idea!

Anonymous said...

The dead giveaway on the bs is the price range for the courtrooms. They could never get more than 100 bucks for a year for any courtroom in the REG building.

A Judge said...

As I have been told, 26 circuit courtrooms between both courthouses have sponsors.

Alan Jerome Shuminer said...

Having correctly predicted the winners of the final 4, I now say this, with every last drop of blue and orange blood that pulses in my Gator Body-

Gators 77
Ohio State 69

AJS, Esq.

Jack Klompis said...

My wife Doris fell in the Publix in Boca Del Vista and we hired Jon Colby to represent us and we are not satisifed at all. Is this where we complain?

He's never in his office. He's always on vacation.

Anonymous said...

Word is that $100,000.00 will be paid to re-name the Civil court building "The Darrin McGillis Civil Court House".

With all the filing fees he forks over every year why not.

Anonymous said...

News is that he will run for Clerk of Court to unseat Harvey Ruvin.

Anonymous said...

look like the bandwagon had some problems:


Fined is Rima Catherine Bardawil

abe laeser said...

About time, too.

I send both the ACLU and Amnesty International my money (I would not lie about such a claim), and now they can sponsor me.

Great. How much would they pay me NOT to display their logo at a capital trial???

I do need some source of cash to supplement the State pension system. I choose not to live on half pay when I do retire.


Rumpole said...

Well if we've made Mr Laeser laugh, that's a feather in our cap. Glad you enjoyed it. Did you catch the federal blog's coverage of the story?


hey JACK KLOMPIS - will you please move you cadillac coupe deville. it is blocking george castanza's parking space....

ps: Jon Colby is taking your case to mediation in front of Judge ART VANDELAY on thurs. and you should be fine!

CAPTAIN said...


Tired of paying for your wireless broadband. Google has decided to break the mold - free high speed internet access.

Go to:


Just for my friends on the BLOG.

CAPTAIN OUT ..........

Rumpole said...

Tomorrow: more Rumpole pondering on things not legal. Baseball.

Anonymous said...


CAPTAIN said...


In case you have not already seen our (in)famous Judge Marilyn Milian, The People's Court Judge, you must go view this clip:


and put in "hilarious peoples court" IN THE SEARCH

and you will see a clip that is titled "Hilarious People's Court where a guy demands that the judge calls him by his proper title "


CAPTAIN OUT ..............

Borat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Rumpole someone wrote the following on the previous post that caught my attention more than other post:

"What bothers me (and I am no fan of former Judge Ivan Hernandez) is that Judge Hernandez's Judicial Assistant makes anti-semetic comments and Judge Hernandez is tortured for it and lost his seat. When Judge Jeri B. Cohen makes anti-cuban comments she is praised and gets re-elected in 2002.

I am concerned that a Judges JA is held to a higher standard than a Judge."

Rumpole some else commented that Cohen won her seat in 2002 before the scandal surfaced I seem to recall differently?

This topic also bothers me that a JA would be held to higher standard that a sitting Judge. Why no outrage. Why is ORJ, DBR or Susanna not ganging up on Cohen like they did on Juan?

Seems like a double standard. For the record I threw a huge party when Ivan Hernandez was defeated. I am no fan of D'Arce either.

abe laeser said...

Now that April Fool's Day is over, I guess that I will just have to show up to an unnamed court for hearings and trial this week.

Happy Passover. Meditate on your faith during holy week.

And please, G-D, figure out a way to get our troops home!

Anonymous said...

I will tell you why, because the establishment is run by the very same people and they are all friends. That is why. Shady mofos.

Anonymous said...

o.k now your just crazy.

the hernandez v. cohen case is interesting for serveral reasons.

1. Hernandez (former cuban Judge) did not make the anti-semetic statements his JA did and he got the boot.

2. Cohen admits to the anti-cuban statements and gets high praise for admitting she is a bigot.

Whats wrong with this picture?

Anonymous said...

People, give it up already. There were no anti-semitic statements made. Its obvious Slom and Leifman turned to desperate measures to get publicity and win re-election.

Anonymous said...


Are you bottom feeders and borderline sociopaths still whining about the sound thrashing that the traffic ticket lawyer with the magenta hair and 4th tier law school education(St.Thomas)received at the polls last year?

Are you also whining about the scum that was removed from the south dade courthouse after Juan and his puppets were tossed onto the open job market because the voters decided to deodorize the public facilities occupied by Ivan Hernandez and his no morals and no talent, squatters?(English what a Language!)

Alvarez and supporters get a grip and if you are ready for the next round go out and get your credit lines in order and remember borrow only what you can reasonably expect to pay back on the profit margins from 69$ ticket legal services!

Hernandez supporters hold a meeting in the back of the beauty parlor and lets get ready to Rrruuummmmble!

Anonymous said...

Is Amy Steele Donner running in 08?

Anonymous said...

Hernandez gut crushed by a PD with no political experience. Unfortunately Hernandez needs to find a sitting judge who got picked up for solicitation in order to win a seat. He was a weak judge with no backbone and poor work ethic.

Anonymous said...

6:32 AM very cute but still does not answer the true question posed by a humble Rumpole blogger.

"What bothers me (and I am no fan of former Judge Ivan Hernandez) is that Judge Hernandez's Judicial Assistant makes anti-semetic comments and Judge Hernandez is tortured for it and lost his seat. When Judge Jeri B. Cohen makes anti-cuban comments she is praised and gets re-elected in 2002.

I am concerned that a Judges JA is held to a higher standard than a Judge."

In the words of Bill O'Reilly on the unfair and unbalanced FIXED (not fox) TV Network "WHAT SAY YOU" Bloggers.

Anonymous said...

Get a grip you pathetic losers

Anonymous said...

I think Slom is looking at a law suit. He used Juan to get votes and that is a no no under the Cannons.

Anonymous said...

like the JQC has balls "NOT"

Anonymous said...

The problem with Jeri Beth is not that she is anti anthing. She just has a big mouth and does not know when to shut up.

Deep inside, she is OK. She is not a bigot.

On the outside, she is a JAP with a robe.

old guy said...

JAP with a robe? Very classy.

Not able to write without showing your own bigotry?

Anonymous said...

That is funny. Though, what is the name of that guy who is married to Priscilla who was a PD or something? The girl with a big butt. Her husband was a numero uno winnie. Funny. What be his name?

Anonymous said...

to 1:33am - get your facts straight. Hernandez is Puerto Rican. He only wanted people to think he was Cuban.

Anonymous said...

The answer is ARNOLD the stupid PD who got his butt kicked at a PD Party by one of Gabe's boys.

Is Priscilla really leaving your sorry behind? LOL. YEY!