STATE ATTORNEY MORALE CRISIS AND SURVIVOR POOL

 Last week, before the start of the holiday weekend, as many as a dozen (count em- like a container of eggs or two six-packs of Michelob Ultra, or a jury in a death case in Florida) ASAs quit! Quit as in "I am outta here". There is a morale crisis in the SAO. The pay is not great.  Victim's control all plea offers, and there are at least 14 layers of supervisors that a prosecutor has to go through to set a deposition, Want to offer a plea to the bottom of the guidelines? Add a zero to that number after the 4. Miss one step and you're on probation; miss two steps and to quote POTUS 45 "You're fired!". 

It's all bad and no one wants to work there once they get there (so we hear from multiple sources). The other side of the story is welcome to be told. Send us an email. 

SURVIVOR POOL

  It is back and better than ever. The world famous, earth shaking, Viagra-taking, REGJB Survivor pool. 

The rules: Simple- pick one team every week, starting Thursday night (if you wish) that will win, no spread is considered. Texans over the Bills? Go for it. Once you use a team, you cannot use that team anymore. 

ALL PICKS MUST BE EMAILED TO FBPOOL12@GMAIL.COM 

Do not send your picks to Rumpole at our email address. We will not use it. You are warned. 

Ties survive. 

Plan your bye week. Everyone gets one. WEEK ONE SPECIAL- email us your pick to FBPOOL12@GMAIL.COM and include the point total for the Dolphins -Cheaters game Sunday. Player(s) who hit the total or are closest win another bye week. 

LOBSTER MEN & a DEER; SURVIVIOR FOOTBALL CRISIS

Everyone lost this past weekend in our award winning survivor pool. What to do?  Petitions have been filed. We've been threatened with a writ of prohibition to the 3rd DCA as well as a writ of Mandamus if we refuse to act. 
Not one to back down in the face of a legal threat, a Google search of the issue ("what if everyone loses in a survivor pool in a week?") generally yields the result that the losers from that week are admitted back in and the game goes on. 
Although five of seven members didn't listen to our advice and foolishly chose the Colts over the hottest team in the NFL: OUR MIAMI DOLPHINS, and at great personal sacrifice because we truly have better things to do... the survivor pool continues...BUT Mr. Markus and Mr. Gonzalez LOSE their hard earned week pass because they were foolish enough not to use it. 
DONE AND ORDERED, on this the 12th day of November, 2019, in Miami-Dade, Florida. 
S/ Horace Rumpole, Esq., Blog Proprietor and Survivor Pool Commissioner. 


Now on to a good story. 
Commercial Fisherman are a hard lot. Lobster-men in Maine have seen it all, ayup. They earn their living on the seas, taking from the ocean, and giving back, working in the most dangerous job in the US: Commercial Fisherman. 
Thus the heartwarming story,  recounted in the Bangor Daily News (which we peruse every day along with the Journal, Times -NY & London, and of course Le  Monde) when Ren Dorr and his crew saw a young deer FIVE MILES off the coast of Maine, floundering. The hardened fishermen saved the young deer a and took him back to shore, where the deer begged off sharing a few Narragansetts' to discuss the incident, and happily  hopped away. 

Deer in the Ocean 

Deer Onboard 

SURVIVOR POOL WINNER TONIGHT

CONGRATULATIONS TO LUCY LEW OUR 2016 JUSTICE BUILDING SURVIVOR POOL CHAMP. 

Well done Ms. Lew. Well done indeed. 
Prizes include the right to buy a $4 cup of coffee at Starbucks, the right to wait in line at the jails to see clients, the right to wait in Miami traffic, and other valuable rights, privileges and immunities for winning our Survior League. 

After sixteen nerve wracking weeks, it comes down to this: our two best players- Lucy Lew and Real Fake Former Judge (hereinafter RFFJ). 

In an ending so poetic that one might say Hollywood invented it, the prestigious Justice Building Blog Survivor Pool Championship will be decided in the billion-dollar home to the Dallas Cowpokes. 

Lew- a crafty player who survived an early scare to run the table has picked the Cowboys, who, it must be said, having nothing to play for tonight since they have locked up the number-one seed in the NFC. 

RFFJ has picked the visiting Lions. While the Lions cannot win the division until they play the Packers next week, they can secure a playoff spot with a win tonight. 

Earlier on Monday we sent both players an email alerting them to the championship implications of the game tonight. RFFJ replied and had this to say:

No surprise Lew picked the Cowboys. While she played moderately well, she boxed herself in and didn't leave herself with many options this weekend. While she thought she was saving a strong team for the end, she didn't plan on the Cowboys playing second stringers and not having anything to play for. I could have picked any number of teams this weekend, but I decided to go with the Lions and she played right into my hands. Just for the record, to have a complete undefeated season, I will pick a team next week, so I can legitimately claim going 17-0. 

"All hail the new champ RFFJ!" 

See ya in the funny papers Rump.Thanks for running the show. 

SURVIVOR POOL 2016

Labor Day Survivor Pool Update: 22 30 + players constituting the South Florida Legal Elite (and some judges) have signed up. Notable absences: David "pollo" Ovalle, former Judge Jon Colby, a usually reliable participant, and any members of the SAO, whose servers still block us.

Special Labor Day Weekend Holiday Update  below: Brennan Cleared! No FF league. 

There are certain hallmarks to the end of summer. The sky turns a deep blue; there's the barest hint of fall in the air, and judges start returning from summer respites at their retreats in the South of France (or Hialeah Lakes) and trials scheduled long ago in April and May, when September was a whisper, now loom large on an attorney's calendar. 

And then there is football and Rumpole's world famous, earth shaking, viagra-taking Survivor Pool. (Yup, we were at the Springsteen concert last week).

Hop in, the water's cool and inviting. 

"How do I play?" you may be saying. 

Piece of cake. It's so easy even those who wear black robes for a living can do it. Here are the rules. 

1) Send an email to FBpool12@gmail.com. NOT to our regular email. 
2) Include in the subject line "I used to be an ASA but I resigned because the work was too hard." 

3) Every week send us ONE pick before the start of the games. If you miss the 1PM games, you can still pick a 4 PM or Sunday or Monday night game. 

4) Once you use that team, you cannot use the team for the rest of the year. Point spreads do not apply. All you need to do is pick one team each week who will win. 

Sounds sooooo easy. A piece of cake. 

So roll up your sleeves, check the games, pick a winner and have fun. 

Enjoy your holiday weekend (viagra or no viagra) and see you in court in about ten days (we don't ever fly home the day after a holiday. Too much hoi poloi in the airports and we don't mingle well.) 

POSTSCRIPT

Judge Brennan cleared!
David Ovalle and the Herald story here.  Close-out memo will be posted below after we overcome some technical difficulties and copyright issues. $2,500 restitution for a $225 windshield covers tax, tag, title, instillation, undercoating, delivery fee, storage fee, restocking fee, and interest and penalties. 


No FF league. We don't have the time to run a fantasy football league- it's not like we wear a robe and show up to court an hour late and then continue everything. We work for a living. BUT....

If someone wants to set up a Justice Building FF league we will bless it, promote it, post the links and the results. 
Also, we are thinking of creating a Draftkings League for our readers. Put your money where your mouth is. 

SURVIVOR POOL & MORE BROWARD

Some people, including certain well respected judges who will not be named/shamed here, CANNOT FOLLOW DIRECTIONS:

So lets try again:

Email your survivor pool picks to Fbpool12@gmail.com. 
That's fb pool 12 (all one word). 
Por favor. 

Broward working on reducing jail population as two defendants commit suicide. 
Sun Sentinel story here. 

Broward working on deficit reduction as two lawyers only charge 101K for a month's work. Confronted with the bill, one lawyer graciously reduces it $9,000 while commenting that he "lost money working on this case." 
Memo to the lawyer: stop talking to the press. Just stop. Stop....sto...st...s.....stop it . Don't open your mouth anymore.  Keep it shut. Please. 

David "chicken" Ovalle story here. 

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

It's that time of year again, when a Cleveland Brown's fan turns to thoughts of playoffs and that elusive Super Bowl. Why are we picking on the Browns? Because they are our sleeper this year. Forget the Manzel mania. Brian Hoyer is the QB to lead them to the promised land. The Browns have talent, a tough defense and a very very underrated QB in Hoyer. 

It's also that time of year that REGJB regulars put their money where their mouth is about their Football prowess in winning the coveted SURVIVOR  Pool title and the Fantasy Football title, two services that we provide, much against our philosophy, free of charge as an altruistic service to our fellow man and woman. 


SURVIVOR POOL: Hop in, the water is cool. The rules are simply, but devious.  Just pick one winner outright every week. Once you pick that team, you cannot pick that team again for the rest of the year. Sounds easy.....

To register to play, write your name and email address on the back of a hundred dollar bill and mail it to..... (that's an old joke from the Car Talk guys)

To register to play, send an email to FBpool12@gmail.com  and in the subject line write: LABJD&D  - which means- and you don't have to write this: "lawyers against broward judges drinking & driving."

FANTASY FOOTBALL. 
We have confirmed players so far, David O Markus with a K, Judge De La O(ver), Rumpole, Mike "The Commish" Greico,  and Rumpole. We are sure Richard Baron will confirm shortly. David Ovalle is ducking us like the San Diego Chicken. 

David Ovalle? 

If you got an invite/email from the league, RESPOND. If you want to play, or played last year and changed your email, send us an email (any of our emails) and we will add you.
We have plenty of room, so join up and play against your favourite judge, lawyer, but unfortunately, not your favourite media star. 

COMING MONDAY: FACDL LISTSERV: IT'S WAR!