CERRADO

 Straits of Hormuz closed. 

Straits of REGJB escalator- cerrado. 

Head over to DOM's blog where's he's obsessed with new federal judges (Judge Artu), time for voire dire, classic rock, hard forks and Satoshi Nakamoto. Really! 

While we are waiting for things to open, think about these things: 

Bookkeeper is the only word with three consecutive double letters. 

Miami is the only major US city founded by a woman (Julia Tuttle). 

Pacific Ocean has three C's- each pronounced differently. 

The State is still saying victim wants max. 

"Sanction" is a contradiction. It means both to allow something, and to punish. Someday judges will sanction male lawyers in Miami appearing in court in July and August without a coat and tie without imposing sanctions. 

Typewriter is the longest word you can write using only letters on the top row of a keyboard. 

Broweird is still the weirdest courthouse on earth. And we don't mean the physical building. 

Is that bug still running against Judge Murray? 

WHAT WILL OPEN FIRST?

 What will open first- the Straits of Hormuz or the first-floor escalator in the REGJB?  Both have been closed for about the same amount of time. Both are semi-controlled by unpredictable characters who say and do different things from day to day and hour to hour. Ever try and get a City Of Miami engineer to do anything? For example, it takes a several year environmental study to lower the thermostats in courtrooms. The good news is that the requests made during the cold snap of December 2012 have just been approved, and judges on the fourth floor can warm up their courtrooms just in time for summer. (Don't get us started on summer in Miami. Because come July 1 we will NEVER be putting on a jacket and tie in the summer again.)

It may well be that the escalator needs to be plugged in, but there are several permits, inspections processes that need to be followed, and technicians that need to be retained before the people who run the REGJB can pick up a plug and put it into an outlet. Life in 2026- there's an app for that. And perhaps we should make an app that - like the ones that show the lines at TSA security in airports- shows the moment-to-moment operations of the REGJB escalators. Seems completely ridiculous. So did putting cameras into phones. And yet...

Our bet? The Oil 🛢 flows before the people move at 1351 NW 12th Street. 

How about our Captain shaming the governor and Florida into accepting applications for open judicial spots. Who else can do that? It's not like Mr. Markus can move the needle to get appointments in the SDFL. Just sayin being in trial all the time slows the blogging process down. 

This is a great blog we built. Someone needs to step up to run it. April, May, June...👻

Some nitwit files against Judge Gordon Murray? We will have A LOT more to say about that in the coming days and weeks. Stay tuned. 

Did you buy stocks over the last few weeks?  You did if you followed Warren Buffett's timeless advice- Be scared when people are greedy and be greedy when people are scared. And people were scared this last month- and what did the market do Wednesday? 🚀 We may see a sell off this morning as the scaredy cats recoup some of their losses and sell. And we will be buyers, especially of Microsoft, Broadcom, Apple (naturally), and heres a new one we have mentioned but LOVE- ELI LILLY. Jump on the GLP-1 gravy train. They got approval for the pill form of Mounjaro, and their next generation of meds coming out in 2027ish  will make even the laziest judge skinny.  Afraid of tech? Some health care stocks are a nice haven. 

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS RUMPOLE ?

 Before you watch the video, look to the right and click our Twitter button to follow us. You (probably) won't regret it. 

Why was Rumpole taking the stairs? 

First, there are significant cardio-vascular benefits for taking the stairs. 

Second, an escalator was not working. 

So we called the Miami Dade Department of Escalators (Motto: "Life has its ups and downs")  and in classic bureaucratic speak were told this: "During the time the courthouse was shut due to Covid, the department made no repairs and conducted no maintenance because the escalators were not being used. Now that the courthouse is open and people can walk in sick as can be without a mask, the department will conduct regular repairs and maintenance during the hours of 8am to 12 noon, as needed."

UKRAINE is holding on. They are England 1940 and their people are heroic. 

SURFSIDE

Judge Hanzman has tentatively approved an 83-million-dollar settlement in the Surfside building collapse. In practical terms, the settlement is the similar in value of the contract for the Milwaukee Brewers' back-up second baseman.  All is not peachy with this litigation and settlement. While Hanzman was effusive in his praise for the settlement: "Passes muster with flying colors" the judge wrote in his order ratifying the settlement, the Herald (Motto: "Trying to be relevant in a digital world since 2013") quoted one disgusted survivor as saying he was getting 30 cents on the dollar for his apartment and he would have nowhere to live.

BASEBALL

Speaking of Baseball, the lock out is over. Opening day is April 7. Biggest change you will notice? DH is universal....which sucks. 

NEW YEAR OLD PROBLEM

Breaking... Iran launches ballistic missile attack against two US military bases on Iraq. Note that there is a significant difference in firepower between a rocket and ballistic missile. The use of a ballistic missile is a significant escalation in the conflict. 
Further updates as events warrant. 


This ….



Causes this....




We are imagining the conversation with the REGJB building manager....

We're going to need to breakdown the escalator from 2 to 3. 
When can we get this done....hmmm....between December 26 and January 3?
NO WAIT!
The first trial week is January 6. The building will be jammed. Let's schedule it then. Ok, settled.  Send out the memo. 

OUT OF ORDER

The people who maintain and repair the REGJB escalators decided that on a Tuesday following a Monday holiday was the perfect time to shut down the escalator from the first floor. Of course chaos (not pictured) ensued.

The escalator repair company blamed the snafu on the company that advises them on repairs: BP.

However, other than the escalator shutdown, the day ran rather smoothly as we reported in our update yesterday. Kudos to Judge Slom and the County Court judges for carefully managing their calendars and not over scheduling a slew of cases for Tuesday.

Speaking of BP.....

As BP works on "Plan Q" this disaster is only going to get worse. We have no concept of the far reaching impact this disaster will have on our planet. Only time will tell.

COMING TOMORROW: THE SUPREME COURT SAYS TO REMAIN SILENT----YOU HAVE TO SPEAK UP. AND GUESS WHICH JUSTICE THAT OUR DAVID MARKUS SAYS IS A GREAT FRIEND TO THE CRIMINAL DEFENSE BAR VOTED WITH THE MAJORITY?

That Judge being wheeled out on a EMS Gurney in Broward on Friday was retired Dade Judge Richard Yale Feder who has been pitching in to cover the calendars of the departing and scandal ridden (and now former) Judge Ana Gardiner. (Hat tip JAA Blog.) A slight blood sugar problem was fixed and Feder was back at it "Dade Style" in the afternoon. Go get em Judge!

In Defense of Israel:

For over half a century Israel has always survived by being smarter than its enemies. Israel could never be bigger than those who threatened its existence. So being stronger meant being smarter. Not this time. Israel was out maneuvered and it was a classic trap. If Israel couldn't see this public relations nightmare coming from a thousand miles away, then something is seriously wrong with their political and military leadership.

But lets remember this incident for what it was: a publicity stunt. The attempt to try and run the blockade and resupply Hamas in Gaza was a classic "win/win" operation. Run the blockade and celebrate the resupply mission. Be intercepted by Israel- and become international martyrs.

The loss of life in this stunt is regrettable. But no less regrettable than the Israeli loss of life when Hamas was mercilessly shelling Israel in 2007. Where was the international outcry then?

The Palestinians are a tragic people. Disavowed by the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan which at one time was 50% Palestinian, and thrust as pawns in the terrorists battle against Israel, first by the PLO and now by Hamas, the Palestinians are the real losers here. No one speaks up for the Palestinian children and their innocent families who didn't choose the terrorists who claim to speak on their behalf. When Israel attacks Gaza, it's innocent Palestinian families who are caught in the cross fire and die. When Hamas strikes back, it's innocent Israeli families who die from the rockets. See the pattern here? Innocents die while the politicians and their armies wage a century old war. Enough is enough. But until reason returns to the Middle East (and maybe reason has never really been there) Israel has the right and indeed the obligation to protect its citizens. And if that means intercepting ships trying to run the blockade so as to make sure the cargo doesn't contain weapons or WMDs, so be it.

Like the oil spill and our aging escalators, the Middle East just gets worse and worse.