There is a "happy hour" sponsored by the Dade County Bar Association on April 11.
Here are all the reasons you should not go.
1. There will be civil lawyers present.
2. They will probably be drinking white wine spritzers. nuff said, right? But if you're still considering....
3. Their war stories are always something like "Then during summary judgement they forgot I had an affidavit from the insurer indemnifying my client ...." as which point all the civil drones listening say something like "Are you kidding me? I would have love to seen what Judge Monica-Beth Gonzalez-Schwartz-Sanchez-Goldstein said when you dropped that on them!!!!!"
4. They will endlessly complain about having to wait to use a Tesla supercharger. "I liked it better when I was the only one in my neighborhood who had a Tesla. Now everyone has one."
5. They will want to show you pictures from their phone of their Italy trip last summer. "Here we are getting Pizza in Rome. Isn't my youngest cute? And here we are at the famous steps and when my wife learned we had to walk up them she told us to go without her..."
6. They will say things like "So I bought Bitcoin when it was fifty dollars and I have 20 coins. How many do you have and I'm thinking of selling my Apple stock that I bought at 30 three years ago and buying Eth. How much Eth do you have?"
7. At which point they will say "Did I tell you about the summary judgment motion I won last week?"
8. Did we mention this event will be populated by civil lawyers?
9. And as you walk away from the ignoramus with the Tesla and Bitcoin you will stumble into a covenant of civil lawyers and one will be saying "So I turned down the 1.4 million offer and said see you at trial and like an hour later their insurance lawyer started blowing up my phone..."
10. Most of the food most likely will be gluten free vegan crapola. Our whole generation was raised on gluten and we all seem to be doing just fine.
So do not go. But if you must then....
But wait! We have another reason...
11) Qualification season is upon us, and as the weeks dwindle down, your favourite judge up for reelection cannot resist an event with lawyers and free food, so not only will you have to endure civil lawyers, but judges hunting for donations.
You have been warned.
RSVP here and tell them that under no circumstances will we be attending so the bourbon is safe.
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